Monday Nighter Open Thread

Welcome back to the NFL’s INJURY-RAMA! Spin the wheel and take your chances! Will it be an anchor of the offensive line like Phil Loadholt? Maybe it’s a volume wide receiver like Jordy Nelson! With just a little extra bad luck maybe someone will nail your starting QB!  Although I kinda think it was just a matter of time with RG3-he’s got to get the hell out of DC and just hand the job over to one of his cousins. They say that exhibition games are meaningless but where else are you going to practice being drunk for the regular season, Wheel of Fortune? Not if you’ve got any self-respect you aren’t. Here we go…

Cincy at Tampa Bay: I’m sure there’s some obscure corner of the internet that has some insightful nuggets about the Bucs but I couldn’t find it in twenty minutes and the rice was ready for supper. So, Jameis Winston needs to improve. There is no rb evenly remotely close to supplanting Doug Martin who I feel is a serviceable back but I guess when you have a small amount of something you tend to think it’s nothing. Is that how that saying goes? [shrugs shoulders] The one, the only Seth Lobato will spell The Giraffe at some point. Many starting qb’s have been replaced by the next new thing but for Mike Glennon it’s a much longer way down than most.

Looks as though Gingerback will get about 25 snaps or so and then we get to see AJ McCarron. Do you mamember that guy from Alabama that finished 2nd in Heisman voting in 2013 to…Jameis Winston! Oh, the ties that tenuously bind us in the sports world. (that sports writers get such a big kick out of) A big shout out to Jeremy Hill who took forever to pass that short guy as the #1 back for the Bengals and then led me to two fantasy…oh never mind. Expect to hear absolutely nothing about Michael Bennett, a undrafted white kid trying his very darnedest to make the team at wr/te. He’s number 80 in the program and number 1 in Cincy sports writer’s groins.

 

 

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Lothar of the Hill People

Tampa made it an entire season without an infectious disease outbreak, right?

Did you hear they found plague in Yellowstone? I wonder if it’ll make it to Florida.

King Hippo

I volunteer to carpool for this.

Cuntler

prairie dogs carry the plague. A kid died of it a northern Denver suburb last year (Longmont, maybe?). I think that is pneumonic and not bubonic though.

King Hippo

Lil’ Sumpin’ Sumpin’ Ale. For when you wanna drink beer, but when you also wanna have scenes go missing like you were a drinkin’ liquor…

Horatio Cornblower

That stuff’s for pussys son. Step up to Lil’ Sumpin Extra if you want respect in these parts.

/Actually both are very good beers.

Lothar of the Hill People

Aside from my probably-autistic-so-I’m-trying-to-be-patient-with-him PK student, the rest of the class seems decent. Getting a lot of kids nodding their heads when I’m hitting my salient points.

Given that it’s an evening class and they’d probably all rather be drunk or high somewhere, I’m counting every moment of attention as a victory.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Play has resumed

http://36.media.tumblr.com/521cd71f80839984a305904e4319c5f4/tumblr_nfel60s1pT1rwrv4ro1_1280.jpg

My pics are now more informative than anything else

Why Thank You Eddie

Scotchnaut! I remember whem that summabitch was Vodkanaut. He told me to do things. I’m still banned from the library.

/vomits Smirnoff into sock

Moonbatting Average

Scotchnaut:Vodkanaut::Old School Zero:New School Zero

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re still on the 20 team league. Sill will do autodraft.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, I reiterate my offer/request for a co manager if anyone got cockblocked from joining the DFO league that I think I’m signed up for.

Redshirt

Not Dalton or I Bitch and Moan About It!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have seen that in banner form in the Bengals stadium audience in the playoffs

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

One of my favorites. NSFW so broken link

h ttp://41.media.tumblr.com/51777d1d33c602e91f2d02eb9fc74b4a/tumblr_ngn8qdAIoJ1tqfgago1_1280.jpg

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not liking you guys for no comments on this one. I love it. … wait, you are “busy”. Sorry, my bad.

ballsofsteelandfury

Quite nice

WCS

When I was TA’ing for my Master’s, I had a student with a disabilities waiver whom I bent over backwards to accommodate. I later learned the peckerfuck reported me to some higher ups after I cancelled class one day, because he felt it “hurt his chances” for a better grade. He received a B.

The reason I cancelled class? My then-fiancee, now wifey’s sister attempted suicide. Fuck that kid in the dickhole with Zeus’ lightning bolt.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is it a hate crime if I punch that guy only because of his dick move without knowing his actual disability? Just asking randomly. No real reason

Lothar of the Hill People

Jebus, I haven’t had any students bad enough to report me for anything.

Though I did have one threaten to have his dad sue me because I gave him an F. Another disability services student, he fucked up the time/date of his accommodated final and showed up to the actual final with only 30 minutes left, got pissed that I wouldn’t give him the final with his full accommodations (that I couldn’t do, because I’m not the fucking disability office) right then and there.

I knew that kid was a jagoff ahead of time, because my officemate TAed for the department chair’s class, and this kid purposefully tanked the mid-term in that class by writing illegibly on it, so he could “translate” his answers for the chair later.

King Hippo

dealing with jackass clients is bad enough. at least the cuntbags pay me (allegedly).

Lothar of the Hill People

Yeah, my least-favorite student protest is, “I pay your salary; you have to do as I say!”

I feel one notch above a waiter at Chili’s when they pull that shit on me.

But then, the waiter can spit in their food…

Horatio Cornblower

What was his disability? Besides being a cunt.

Why Thank You Eddie

He’s like Mall Santa Claus.

Old School Zero
WCS

I was hoping a cat or dog jumped on the table and knocked over the stack.

makeitsnowondem

no no no not in my house

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
SonOfSpam

On FXX right now, Roger Meyers is debating Marge Simpson about cartoon violence on Smartline. RIP Alex Rocco.

Sill Bimmons

Good call!

blordinaryfagicmox

A rocket car in every solid gold garage, it’s the American Dream.

adamsm293

holy fuck…BOOMER”S HAIR

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Lothar of the Hill People

Great googily-moogily, she’s perfect.

Wait, she isn’t holding a beer for me. 2/10 would not bang.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was a fan too, saved it for halftime

King Hippo

something for the boob, leg, AND ass man. That just ain’t right.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, but what about her conversational ski-

(gets hit by giant bottles of Popov)

Sill Bimmons
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I worry more about the stray carrots in my jalapanos, can’t care about every stray veggie

SonOfSpam

Stupid French. Just say minipikkles like us Murricans.

King Hippo

Denver should make teh Hippo happy and send Tampa a 6th rounder for the giraffe in teh offseason.

Moonbatting Average

The neck issues will provide a sense of continuity.

Lothar of the Hill People

Just got done teaching my evening class. Got a kid in it who is driving me nuts already. I’m calling him “Peter King” in my head.

King Hippo

man, you teacher NERDS are giving us law-talking guy NERDS a run for our scrilla, numbers-wise here…

WCS

My first night class is Wednesday. I’m keeping my .38 in the podium drawer for such instances.

King Hippo

hey, for my poker game…is $1/mg still the going pill rate? I don’t wanna come off like a noob ,, smgdh

Lothar of the Hill People

This kid got a disability accommodation to wear headphones and take 50% more time for quizzes. I gave him double time and he still only filled out 60% of the quiz, and got all huffy when I told him his time was up.

King Hippo

set him on fire?

/I take most of my management advice from Stalin

Lothar of the Hill People

The rest of the class is already rolling their eyes whenever he talks.

blordinaryfagicmox

Is Glennon saying “bubba gump” to snap the ball?

blordinaryfagicmox

Frontrunner for comment of the year I saw on yahoo(!) today: the Reggie Wayne signing is only so the patriots can ask him about who reported the underinflated balls to the NFL.

Redshirt

Update: The Reds scored 10-runs in an inning. Even the Reds are beating the Bengals tonight!

King Hippo

Goddamnit, why aren’t you playing the Small Bears or the Dirt Stillers ,, smgdh

Covalent Blonde

I will say, while Winston is not perfect, what an opposing force compared to what Johnny Football had to offer the Dawg Pound.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

2 min warning

http://40.media.tumblr.com/8352fa0b3757f04c3de6efc1481f0820/tumblr_nfhnieVad31rwrv4ro1_1280.jpg

Ok, I just had 3 open tabs I forgot about and you get one

SonOfSpam

Don’t need two minutes.

King Hippo

So…that’s totes syphilis acne, yeah?

badgerbrawp293

Some side effects include explosive stool

Moonbatting Average

The Bucs penalty line is 11 for 130, according to Sportcast. That’s amazing considering the score

badgerbrawp293

Just glad to hear Gruden

Covalent Blonde

Wow! Barely the 2-min. Fuck me. This is so slow it hurts.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Covalent Blonde

Cincy MVP: Bucs D

WCS

King Hippo

Jesus, is that still Dalton? He’s fucking awful.

SonOfSpam

Damn, Dalton just fucking HATES his receivers.

Covalent Blonde

The frag god has been fed well this evening.

King Hippo

Verily, He is a jealous God.

Covalent Blonde

Alt. Sport Reference! Drink! Whitworth golfing!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Moonbatting Average

So I went dark for a while, which crazily coincided with the collapse of KSK. I’m reading through the DFO backlog (backloug, Hippo) as I can. One major question remains, for which I haven’t seen an answer: whither Otto?

Covalent Blonde

My heart breaks to tell you that despite contact attempts, no Otto sightings. Despite efforts. If you have an in, pleasepleaseplease make use of it!

Old School Zero

Somewhere, he waits, searching, hoping, and likely cursing Alex Smith’s small hands and short passes. We put the Otto sign up where we can, and leave the porch light on, but, still, no word.

King Hippo

We need to hatch a proper kidnapping plot. A few more beer and I believe I will have one.

Redshirt

I switched to the Reds. Are you happy Bengals?! I’m watching a meaningless baseball game!!!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Tampa did a good. I think that means a half naked blonde, right? Or should I go for something else for Tampa

http://bouncebreak.com/gif/bounce/still-one-of-the-best-kate-upton-gifs.gif

SonOfSpam

Great, now Hill got Dalton turnoverstink on him.

I’d say Cincinnati sucks, but that’s not very specific.

Covalent Blonde

Good to know all of the Bucs game totals this year will be divisible by 3. (obviously aside from extra points)

Sill Bimmons

I guess that makes Gronk Uncle Touchy.

Covalent Blonde

On the upside: absolutely no puzzle basement

Sill Bimmons
upstate underdog

Just switched to the football game. Glad I’m watching baseball

King Hippo

But MOST GLORIOUS BASEBALL CARDINALS no start until 10?

upstate underdog

Watching the Yankees but that Mets/Phillues game has been bonkers

Covalent Blonde

I find myself in a perennial conundrum: it always takes 3-5 weeks to get a good sense of who and what is going on in the teams,, which unfortunately means that by the time I have sussed out the league my eyes have gone crossed thanks to the dizzying blur of pink garbage everywhere. Fuck Pinktober.

Sill Bimmons

GIRAFFEDOWN

King Hippo

I’m telling you guys, all of NC State-dom (well, at least 80/20) thought Mike Glennon was a better pro prospect than teh Russell. And we fucking loved Russell more than we loved any athlete since David Thompson (even his year at Wiscy, the Rose Bowl thread was the highest traffic my State blog had all year, we were so proud).

WE LOVED THE GIRAFFE AND THE DREADED GIRAFFE SPRINT.

SonOfSpam

BUCSDOWN

SonOfSpam

Dalolton isn’t very good.

WCS

CHUH CHUH

Sill Bimmons

Andy Dalton: Not good at the footballing.