Preseason Week 3: Sunday Games Open Thread

After some erudite discussion of Jonathan Martin’s recent mention of suicidal thoughts, it looks like things are back to normal in my beloved Raider Nation…

telling-not-spelling

Houston takes on New Orleans at 4 p.m. EST today, followed by Arizona at Oakland at 8 p.m. EST.  Enjoy the limited action today, folks!

 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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I cringe when Cris says “ooze”.

Mother Puncher

This kid is just moist with talent!

Sill Bimmons

SUPPURATING

Sill Bimmons

“A whole nother” is not a phrase that exists or makes sense.

Mother Puncher

Earlier he called the first quarter a “stanza”. Leave the old man alone.

ballsofsteelandfury

It is NBC, so…

Sill Bimmons

It was actually one of the bros on the FanDuel ad..

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

And Liverpool signs both of these kickers

Doktor Zymm

Are they saying that kickers are like racehorses and we can make glue out of them when they suck?

Doktor Zymm

And on the flipside, if they’re really good, do they go out to stud when they retire?

King Hippo

Seabass would make a metric fuckton of glue.

I don’t think anyone is interested in his semen voluntarily, if history is any guide.

Sill Bimmons

Great. Palmer’s dead.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Again? Maybe Tebow can lay on hands.

King Hippo

HE WAS JUST CHECKING FOR FORESKIN!!!

King Hippo

Snow jinxed him!

blaxabbath

Needs Wilson Juice.

blackroseMD1

Carson Palmer does realize they only need 10 yards for a new set of downs, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

It would look so much more awesome if they let him coach in the Kangol.

Doktor Zymm

Is it just me, or is it creepy when the headshots on the bottom bar blink?

King Hippo

Kansas? Bleeding.

Doktor Zymm

So, Trump thinks that Kansas is Megyn Kelly?

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Carson Palmer might be a highlander

blaxabbath

What’s this clear shit they apply before the nail polish? I’d ask the chinaman lady but we don’t communicate well.

ballsofsteelandfury

Think of it as primer.

Doktor Zymm

Primer. Just like paint, smooths out the surface.

blaxabbath

Wish their silver was cooler. Coulda gotten silver and black for $5 more.

ballsofsteelandfury

The Raider special?

Doktor Zymm

You can get nail polish pens, get one in black and draw the letter R!

blaxabbath

I ended up with fluorescent orange. It was the manliest option available.

Doktor Zymm

Hunter safety is important

Beastmode Ate My Baby

‘Sup, guys and gal(s)?

Sill Bimmons

yo

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Don’t give my wife ideas.

ballsofsteelandfury

Too late. As you can clearly see, that’s natural instinct.

Brick Meathook

At first I thought that was a riding mower.

Doktor Zymm

What makes the something something Subway sandwich the best on Earth?

Ignorance.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Or intoxication

Sill Bimmons

Lack of a tongue.

King Hippo

The sexy 12-year old sharing it with you!

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s delightfully evil. Well done.

blackroseMD1

Dammit NBC…now I’m gonna have “Cars” stuck in my head all damn night.

I’m going to take that as a sign from the universe that it’s time for me to start drinking.

ballsofsteelandfury

That can’t possibly be real.

ballsofsteelandfury

Which one of those is Ape talking to Uproxx?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I thought it was the same one with a backed up toilet.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Nice kick from 3rd base

Sill Bimmons

Is the Honey Badger any good?

Asking because I genuinely don’t know.

makeitsnowondem

Actually yes, somehow. Like, Bob Sanders Lite?

“Writhing in Pain: The 2003 – present Oakland Raiders”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

I’m not sure we need to see that much of JDR’s man boobs, Raider wardrobe department.

Sill Bimmons

A Carr shows situational awareness?

A Carr shows situational awareness.

King Hippo

surprised me as much as you

Doktor Zymm

They could at least spray paint the dirt bits green like they do at Soldier Field, or Fedex

Old School Zero

I would prefer it if they covered the dirt with a slip-n-slide.

ballsofsteelandfury

In Oakland? In this drought?

More likely, they’ll use baby oil

comment image

I wonder what Al Davis’s decaying corpse is up to.

Doktor Zymm

“Tales from the Crypt” Halloween specials

Sill Bimmons

Hangin’ out with Bernie?

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

He’s got a bit role in Fear The Walking Dead

Mother Puncher

Wanting ice water.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Raiders working on their clock management game

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Brick Meathook

I wish a Raiders fan would stab Cris.

ballsofsteelandfury

Both, of course.

Doktor Zymm

Unless you use xor the answer is always “yes”

Rikki, you know what to do.

King Hippo

Wouldn’t it be great of Brady were eaten by a bear and we could all just move on? Or if the mediator hired a bear, and Goodell got eaten too?

Doktor Zymm

Also, the bear should wear a bow tie.

King Hippo

Decorum is important in a dispute resolution setting.

makeitsnowondem

Yeah, okay, I’ll watch Heroes again.

Bloody Lethal

Anyone here played the new Madden? I stopped buying the games, but people are saying this year is much improved.

Doktor Zymm

I bought the one that came with a free year of Direct ticket, then gave it away after using the code….that probably doesn’t count.

blackroseMD1

I wanted to, but once again EA flips the bird at PC gamers.

makeitsnowondem

more like catanzeropoints amirite??

Brick Meathook

Re the bear cage commercial, I kinda of want to see the bear mauo someone.

blaxabbath

If I saw a bear, first thing id do is take off my fluorescent vest. Then I’d call that dentist who killed Cecil.

Doktor Zymm

I’m glad you didn’t say “bear mayo” cause that sounds gross.

Maul

King Hippo

I would gladly pay extra for a channel with nothing but wild animals mauling humanity.

makeitsnowondem

I’m just really glad Carson Palmer isn’t dead.

blaxabbath

What happened!?

makeitsnowondem

Oh, his knee injury last year. I was being hyperbolic, but I’m happy to see him playing again.

Doktor Zymm

Carson Palmer got sacked by a psychosomatic ghost.

ballsofsteelandfury

Just wait a while…

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

For Zymm. I can do better but this is what I found before I went for a cig

comment image

Doktor Zymm

I dig it. Nice shoulders + tattoos > nice shoulders.

ballsofsteelandfury

Does this float your boat?

I swear I’ve never heard of the shoulder thing…

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/pxo6CY22HZI/maxresdefault.jpg

Doktor Zymm

Lookin good.
Eh, it’s not really a thing. It’s no where near the level of a fetish. Nice shoulders are just….very attractive. Maybe it’s cause I’m short and that’s often at eye level for me?

King Hippo

I like the lady shoulders. So it’s definitely a thing, just not a thing that’s super universal, maybe.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So side note, I am a fan of you liking shoulders. I have nice ones. No one likes giant hockey player legs that can lift a car as a thing. Gives me faith I can trick someone into liking me

Doktor Zymm

When I think “unattractive” and “hockey” I don’t think legs, I think mullet.

blaxabbath

When we pulled up, the game was on the car radio and it was the opening series where del rio was making a challenge. The gf asked who he was so I explained the axe incident to her. I don’t think she’ll ever be a raiders fan.

Old School Zero

HEY EVERYBODY BLINDSPOT HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT BLINDSPOT IT’S COMING SOON BLINDSPOT TATTOOS BLINDSPOT NAKED LADY BLINDSPOT ONLY ON NBC BLINDSPOT BLINDSPOT BLINDSPOT

makeitsnowondem

I didn’t even realize it existed. No idea how I missed Blindspot.

Doktor Zymm
blackroseMD1

I can’t wait for the Lisa Kudrow song about him.

“Raider cat, Raider cat, why can’t you win a game?”

blaxabbath

First time on [DFO] mobile. My favorite team vs the team I root for playing SNF and I’m with the gf getting pedicures. This place has no tv and, worst of all, no opalagies!!

Doktor Zymm

Weird. Nail places usually have lots of TVs. They only play Sex in the City, but they are TVs.

blaxabbath

Not here. Can I upload pics to comments? You can see 32 years worth of callus build up in action.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes you can. You probably shouldn’t, but you can.

Doktor Zymm

So, do they just pick the teams that aren’t nationally broadcast that often for the feature preseason games, so that way, when they complain they don’t get prime time coverage the NFL can say, “What, we totally aired you on FOX in August!”

King Hippo

I think that’s quite plausible.

blaxabbath

It’s about respect.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve adapted to my giant wall TV really quickly. How am I going to watch games on tiny bar TVs? I should get some opera glasses.

Doktor Zymm

I assume this dog belongs to one of us Commentists :
http://cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/bad-dog-notes-271.jpg?w=560&h=677

makeitsnowondem

It’s good to see some people are still teaching their dogs right from wrong.

Doktor Zymm

I think I’ve only worn pants for a total of 4 hours this weekend, starting from when I arrived home on Friday.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s commendable, but really the pants should come off the moment you get home. It’s the only way.

Doktor Zymm

I played tennis and went to yoga this morning. That accounts for my 4 hours of pants. I was at a flat 0 until then. I’m still pretty happy with my pantsless ratio this weekend.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yoga pants technically don’t count. I’m sure every male in your general vicinity would agree.