Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.
Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.
Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.
Alden Smith: Upstanding Citizen
WE GON DRANK
This just in: Dirt is BONE DRY in Oakland.
Bradford’s beady little eyes really bother me.
He’s got creepy little unblinking doll eyes.
Watch. They don’t ever focus all the way. It’s creepy as fuck.
E-LEEEEET
Sam Bradford will be great they said. Oh we stole the runningback from the Jerry Joneses he will be great they said, we won’t use him though. I am surprised Ryan Matthews isn’t broken yet. Believe in Chip…..
hey guys
‘sup?
Good day sir.
howdy
i put on pants then went outside in the rain and my pants got wet then i went home in my wet pants and now i dont have on pants anymore
The Patriots seal a completely fair, well-earned win. Oh what am I saying, they probably fucking cheated.
Not even 2pm here yet. Too early to drink.
But am I gon’ drank for SEA/GB? Why YES I AM.
So, how much of a shitshow is Thursday going to be? And will Washington be favored?
I’m willing to bet on a Bills score and a successful two point conversion nullified by a bullshit penalty.
Will that penalty be taunting?
Hou/Car game is now #4SecondsGate
Doesn’t look like Dan Akroyd changed out of his pyjamas for that State Farm commercial.
A game of three and outs.
Cole just got slawed…..
One of my students is named Cole. I make a slaw joke every class. Every. Class.
You made me larf out loud.
Did they wake up just as the broadcast started?
Pretty sure that’s not first time Troy’s been caught in that awkward position….
My god, Kiko Alonso is hideous.
Crabtree taunting? How?
Is it me or has taunting been called all week long?
Refs got a memo, apparently.
“I don’t what Mallett is doing?”
Boomer dropping some truth bombs.
“But he’s got a big arm!”
-Coaching Staff
via ape
That is fuckin awesome, right there…
I enjoy the Stormtrooper jersey.
I’m surprised the “Vader is Lord” shirt guy isn’t in Oakland.
Now that Johnny Foobaw won a game, can we safely say The factory of Sadness officially won the Trent Richardson trade?
I’m not the smartest boss of all time but if a very serious error of some sort occurs one week (say, for example, a clock management thingy) it sure as goddamn fuck is not going to occur the next week. #fuckingGiants
My bosses would gleefully do it again…and again…for years on end…
The Andy strategy.
3rd and 1
[calls 15 yard pass attempt that was almost intercepted]
The genius of Chip Kelly.
Chip Kelly didn’t capitalize on that good position because THAT’S WHAT YOU’D EXPECT HIM TO DO!
MWAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!
Trust me, WIP will force this narrative if it kills them.
MMM, sexy Oakland Raiders fans. For a split second, they make you forget that you’d get some funky STI if you to get within 5 feet of them.
Joe Buck sounded like he wanted to cry when Romo got touched. Poor guy.
How is Bradford MORE crosseyed than he was last week?!?
More CTE?
Wait. Manziel won a game?
http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11111/111119495/3941735-fools.gif
Holy Shit Amendola
PHI always wear white at home? Or are they pulling college WHITE OUT stunts now too, Chip?
I believe he called it a WHITE POWER game.
Ryan Mallett’s passing is an abomination.
Yes, I would enjoy watching the return of the shitty cowboys
Has anyone seen Dr. Zymm? I just want her to be here as I celebrate our recent victory over the NFC West’s finest
Yes, thanks CBS. I don’t care about the Texans coming back to tie the game. I want to see people talk about the comeback.
Nobody cares about the Texans coming back to tie the game.
Buck with the pedo 5 o’clock shadow.
I want to know who BIG GANGSTA MIKE is that Houston is so scared of.
*Hello Darkness my old friend..*
So the Giants can still pull it together and make the playoffs.
Tony Romo had to take a shot to get ready for this game. He seems like a tequila man to me.
Why is Joe Buck trying to grow a beard?
Herpes probably.
Are the Rexes making a rally?
Let’s do this. Go Cowboys!
Fuck you Joe Buck!
So fucking Dreamy!
Has anyone heard from Ze Docktah Zymm? Has she spontaneously exploded from glee?
[hunkers down in cardboard fort]
“14-2 is still doable for the G-men.”
-Me
Ravens-Raiders: Marquee matchup
-2000 season preview
I hate fantasy football . I hate it I hate it I hate it.
Had to work on a Sunday, didn’t check phone and @#$%@$@%@$@#$@%@$@#@%@
I hate my wide receivers who all apparently have ricketts, my lazy fumbletron 2000s of running backs and the fact that I have to cheer for FACKIN TAWWWMMMMMY BRADY
Rant done. Thank you gentlemen, and lady for being there.
Once more, Lolphins.
Holy fuck, Antonio Brown almost had 200 yards receiving.
Of course, I have the Ravens in my suicide pool this week and they have to get shredded by the Raiders.
AMARICOOPERDOWN
“Tom Coughlin is trying not to see the same movie twice.”
Tom Coughlin hasn’t seen a movie twice since ‘Birth of a Nation’
Even though he was in his mid-40s, Nosferatu scared the crap out of him when it debuted.