Your “Pants On the Floor Or There’s The Door” Thursday Night Open Thread

Hello fellow football lovers. We meet again. Have you been well? Oh, that’s good to hear. How about that weather, huh? Some places it’s nice and other places it’s not. Go figure! Enough of the pasty white small talk, large muscular men will be crashing into each other. Let’s watch together…

Bal @ Pit: I imagine Tomlin is at this very moment begging Vick to just “play the game”, don’t try to do anything stupid, er, don’t try to be a difference-maker. Those days are long gone and just forget about this probably being your last bit of time in the spotlight. It happens to everyone! Last year Vick slorped together a 53% completion rate, a 5 yds per pass average and a not-sparkling 21.4 QBR (last in the league!). The key for the Steelers is getting Brown in space so that he can make a play and to let Bell careen through/off defenders and move the ball. Despite their troubles the Ravens haven’t allowed a 100 yard rusher in 29 straight games so it may be an uphill battle for Bell. The Flacco will of course be his usual nonpareil self, that’s for damn sure. I think Smith will get his and a TD because it is always a mistake to count that guy out. Another reason Smith will be relevant is because the other WR’s are not. They are Marlon Brown and Kamar Aiken.

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The Mighty Feklahr

It is so reassuring to see Haley’s offense after they pass the 50 yard line. It is such a wooby.

Stabby Pants

Kordell-esque drive killing there.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Every pass that goes to not Antonio Brown is a dagger in my soul.

entropy

What’s up, everybody?

Sill Bimmons

Do you want some DeAngelo Williams?

http://i.imgur.com/dP7ebTy.gif

tundrajim

Vick had an experience in jail? What did he do?

entropy

Religious conversion. He’s a scientologist now.

nomonkeyfun

Now I really don’t like him.

entropy

That’s just your thetans talking.

The Mighty Feklahr

Time to dial up the screen, Boss Todd.

King Hippo

check downs to Le’Veon make teh Hippo happy

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

ACADEMY AWARD WINNER Patricia Arquette and Ted Danson?

Stabby Pants

Both team’s O-lines are blocking like they’re very upset with their QBs.

John Difool

If Roethlisberger ever ends up becoming a coach in this league he’s gonna end up being fatter than Andy Reid.

Senor Weaselo

Except Choco Tacos instead of everything else?

Sill Bimmons

Oh yeah, Bears-of-last-week?

YOU GOT NUTHIN ON US

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Final score prediction: 4-3

King Hippo

4-2 or 5-4 would be better, but this would also be acceptable.

Multiple safeties, is all we ask.

Redshirt

So the Bengals are undefeated and the Steelers and Ravens are underachieving.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/519/092/e4d.gif

Old School Zero

BEN RAGE FACE

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I made a last minute change to my FF lineup. Took out Yeldon, put in Smith as my flex. Smith is now gonna get no catches and Yeldon is gonna pick up 3 TDs against Indy

The Mighty Feklahr

Were on pace for 40 punts this game.

Stabby Pants

Calling it now: We’re in for a game of vigorous punting.

The Mighty Feklahr

I guess this makes us piss pals?

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

If Antonio Brown returns 20 punts tonight, I’ll be happy.

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo

ELITE sack.

bourb0nblues

ELITE not losing the ball?

Sill Bimmons

AVERAGESACK

Sill Bimmons

I thought that was Kanye.

Old School Zero

Double mountain fresh hop red: not elite, but tasty.

Stabby Pants

Oh shit, they’re double covering Steve Smith! They figured us out, guys!

Sill Bimmons

So that’s that, then.

Welp.

nomonkeyfun

I think this describes Vick.

http://images1.tickld.com/live/772248.jpg

Redshirt

So how did Vick become a Steeler again? Did all the other free agent QBs retire or something?

Sharkbait

Tebow was talking to god and the Steeler’s phone call didnt go through.

The Mighty Feklahr

No one is more familiar with 3 and long than Michael Vick.

Senor Weaselo

I thought it was 4th and 20.

Stabby Pants

Why is Kordell Stewart playing?

The Mighty Feklahr

I C WUT U DID THAR

The Mighty Feklahr

Ha ha! It’s actually Kordell Stewart!

Sharkbait

Holy shit it’s 1998!

Redshirt

(shudders) I hated that year.

King Hippo

YAY Le’Veon and Balmer D!!

Boo Yinzer kicker!! (name already forgotten)

DOUBLE YAY peary (h/t Sill) and oxy in series!

Redshirt

Alright. I somehow made it through the day without committing a felony, even though the voices in my head were making good argument.

Bring on Football!!!

King Hippo

Which voice do you listen to most? When in doubt, I go with the French Canadian one.

Redshirt

My Morgan Freeman narrator voice.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Ever since I was a little boy, I liked to murder hobos. You should try it, Redshirt.

Senor Weaselo

It’s apparently the best Canada.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WULsZJxPfws

Stabby Pants

Housemate just asked ‘Is Charlie Batch still on the steelers?’

I thought he might be.

Sill Bimmons

We’ve replaced the corpse of Charlie Batch with the corpse of Michael Vick.

Let’s see if anyone notices!

King Hippo

BAD NEWZ

Stabby Pants

Can’t wait for the Week 16 promo between the Chargers and Raiders:

This is a football game that someone might win. Maybe. Who cares?

Sill Bimmons

I first read that as “porno.”

I imagine the level of interest would probably be similar.

nomonkeyfun

http://rs144.pbsrc.com/albums/r179/jgarzten3/NDVD_178acopy.jpg~c200

I think this will be my feeling about this game.

The Mighty Feklahr

Who is the most ETILE TNF QB? STAY TUNED!

Sill Bimmons

Can’t spell KITCHEN TILE without ETILE

blordinaryfagicmox

Is it Greg Maddox? Is he still on the Steelers? Or was it Tom Maddox? No… Charlie?

tundrajim

These teams hate each other so much that Joe Flacco switched the places of the white and the wheat bread on the Steelers’ pre-game spread table. It seriously inconvenienced them for like, five seconds!

Senor Weaselo

Wheat bread? Truly these Steelers have exotic tastes!

Sill Bimmons

PINKTOBER WOO

Stabby Pants

Tonight’s teams are wearing Black and Purple, in honor of domestic violence awareness.

Stabby Pants

Dean Peas down his own leg.

theeWeeBabySeamus

In spite of being a Raven’s fan, I actually don’t hate the Stillers. As a kid, they were my 2nd favorite team, and moved up to the top spot by default, and for a good long while, when the Colts left town. Lived in Iggles territory for a while as a Stillers fan…which was actually a lot of fun pissing those fuckers off. But I digest…

In spite of actually still kinda being a Stillers fan, if my Ratbirds fall to 0-4 by losing to a Michael Vick led team (which I fully expect to happen) I will have hit an all-time low as an NFL fan. And as I’ve already said, I was a BALTIMORE Colts fan.

My best hope for a good night tonight is proper chemical intervention, which has yet to begin but will get underway straightaway; and a roving pack of feral dogs to wander into the ketchup coliseum seeking revenge for their kind. Hopefully, they can count to #2. In short, fuck you Vick.

Oh, and I’ll get the fuck you Flacco overwith early as well. Goddamn WASP version of Ubaldo Jimenez.

FML

...

Silver linings: If they lose, they might not punt on every possession.

Sill Bimmons

For me the Ratbirds are a distant, DISTANT second to the Pats these days.

King Hippo

…and the band played on

Sill Bimmons

Is that Tony Romo in the crowd behind Vampyra there?

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

John Difool

I wish an actual wolf would chew that mole of Tracy Wolfson’s face.

Stabby Pants

Alright, I’ve been pre-drinking drain cleaner and Nyquil. Let’s get this fucking funeral over with.

JustStopDude

I semt off the email to my Japanese cohort. The response “I would very much like to have the beer”.

So my question to the community….you got a kid that speaks no English. You are in Virginia. You have to get drunk with him amd then head to a titty bar in West Virgina, get him laid, amd then hold it over him until he leaves the country right? I think its in the constitution.

Sharkbait

Kill the hooker that bangs him. Really seals the deal.

King Hippo

But HONORABLY

Sill Bimmons

You can leave her in the same ditch they used for the carnality!

JustStopDude

Well OBVIOUSLY….but besides that…

Sharkbait

Since its now October first, does this mean the NFL is now whoring itself out to everything pink?

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

blordinaryfagicmox

Well, they only changed the color of the flags away from yellow because it’s Hispanic Heritage Month.

The Mighty Feklahr

He shops with Michael Strahan.

JustStopDude

The baby sitting at the bar next to me just stole one of my camels….Yup…I am in the South….

His hipster parents think its cute…..

blordinaryfagicmox

All of my babies smoked virginia slims

litre_cola

Ooh la la, when my kinds come out they better get them fingers good and nimble for rollin their own. I will not have some entitled GLOREE BOY in my family.

JustStopDude

I know right?!?

Seriously. …a baby smoking camels is straight ghetto!

JustStopDude

Sat through three meetings, ordered about 2.4 million USD worth of motors from Japan, and got told by HR that unless i get a shrink to sign off me working 90 plus hours a week, which lead to my nervous breakdown, I am fired. So fuck work, fuck the shrink, amd fuck the meds, i am getting good and proper drunk.

And fuck it, come tomorrow, I am dragging the poor kid from the Japan home office to go drinking. Cause that poor shit pissed someone off bad in Tokyo to get sent to Roanoke VA

...

Joe Flacco with a beard? SOMEONE IS MILDLY DISPLEASED AND LOOKING FOR A MINOR CHANGE.

nomonkeyfun

You’re right coming out with it and saying you don’t want a beard is major change.

-Aaron Rodgers

Senor Weaselo

Evening folks, I’ve just returned from (attempting) to teach kids after-school karate. Lesson of the day? Don’t reference Superman or else kindergarteners start flying around like Superman. I’ll be popping Luden’s lozenges until I run out. Those things are addictive.

The Mighty Feklahr

Michael Vick will have an all time TNF performance tonight.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Will it be good or bad, though?

Senor Weaselo

He said all-time TNF performance. You know what that means.

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