Your Bacon And Egger Early Morning Game Post

[in the voice of Sir David Attenborough, noted documentarian]

“Here we see the common North American football fan in its lair. Sprawled amongst the bedsheets, it has had a mostly pleasant evening. Recent advances in the field of Dreamology indicate that the visions it has during the night consist primarily of unprotected and consequence-free sex with friend’s wives/husbands, teachers from high school, co-workers, waitresses, bus drivers, hobos, major political figures, deli clerks, people that held the door open, hair dressers, folks at the gym and individuals that have the STOP/SLOW sign at construction sites. There may be others but this area of Dreamology is getting bogged down in details to be honest. As it rises to face a new day it yawns and performs the ritualistic ‘vigorous scratching of the hind quarters’ and of course it must mark its porcelain territory as well.” [to be continued]

NYJ @ Mia: Miami has the home field advantage over in London but Ivory and Revis are back so that should even things out a bit. The Fins D has made Fitz-type (mediocre) QB’s look good. Tyrod and Bortles averaged a 92 QBR in their games against Miami. There’s talk already on fan sites that things are spinning out of control under Philbin. This implies that they were in a controlled spin before the season started which sounds about right. Seriously, a loss here will go quite far in determining how quickly/long they will #occupyAFCEastbasement. Across the field/ocean there’s plenty of huzzahs for Mr. Bowles who has applied a steady hand to the team in general and the D specifically. This sure looks like a sloppy romp by the Jets, doesn’t it?

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Horatio Cornblower

How is that not pass interference?

Horatio Cornblower

Besides, of course, the NFL HQ calling the refs and saying “Make it close. We need the Jaguars in London ASAP!”

AM_Dusk

Interference doesn’t get much more blatant than that!

Horatio Cornblower

I remember when I was in a Buffalo Wild Wings in Manhattan when 9/11 happened. Changed my life.

makeitsnowondem

I was in a Dave and Busters when I did 9/11.

Smithchez

Mornin’ everyone. Why does it feel like the Jets should have about 150 more points?

Can Philbin plea for refugee status from the Brits?

King Hippo

He can take over for “The Special One” at Chelski.

makeitsnowondem

I’m flirting with the idea of having negative points per carry/reception in the Worst. League. Ever. next year. Thoughts?

Horatio Cornblower

Love it.

Horatio Cornblower

My wife’s a real estate agent and she’s running around working her ass off this morning while I’m sitting here in sweats, slurping hot chocolate.

This is great.

packman_jon

Packgirl is running a marathon while I sit on my ass and watch footbaw. Life is great

Horatio Cornblower

Scotch as near as I can tell it’s the only profession with more backstabbing and more annoying clients than the legal profession.

Those people are truly monsters. Except my wife of course; she’s an angel.

entropy

“This is a…. house…? Yeah, done in the traditional four-wall style. Good schools? Well, there’s A school nearby…”

I don’t about you guys but my left hand has been a gigantic bitch recently.

The Mighty Feklahr

Dan Fouts is fucking horrid, oh me oh my.

blackroseMD1

You should hear him call a Chargers game. It’s like he’s seething with hate for the team he used to play for.

The Mighty Feklahr

i believe it

I swear I think the those three pi calls have gained more yards for the Dolphins than their offense had generated.

entropy

58 on one drive, so right now, the refs are the best players on The Dolphins.

Horatio Cornblower

NCIS: Pawtucket

entropy

Followed by CSI: Poughkeepsie.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Law and Order: Worcester

There’s a serial sea turtle fucker on the loose.

entropy

Gran Marais Fire on Saturday Nights!

Spur

Here’s the morning nightmare fuel making the rounds
http://i.imgur.com/TZLFvhy.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t ordinarily advocate smashing a pumpkin that someone’s put that much work into but I’m willing to make exceptions.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

+1 Oh bother

Horatio Cornblower

OK guys it’s too nice a day to keep sitting here. I’m going apple-picking.

/walks out to the one apple tree in yard
//picks last two apples off tree

Whew! Thank God that crap’s over with!

/cracks open beer.

entropy

You are an inspiration.

Sharkbait

Now start fermenting them!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

And he pulls a Scobee. Philbin keeps his job for another drive.

King Hippo

FOLK IMPLOSION!!

Sharkbait

He needs to be checked for Scobees

packman_jon

I have no idea why I like this Twitter
https://twitter.com/Aerostars4Sale/status/650530888237846528

bourb0nblues

Truly, the internet is a wonderful place.

John Difool

When your chinstrap ends up being your mouthpiece, you just might’ve got roughed up a bit….

blackroseMD1

How in the hell did I end up hungover after only 4..wait, 5…uh 8 beers?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Waitaminute, waitaminute! There’s a show starring Téa Leoni as the Secretary of State?! Who’s stupid enough to green-light this ?!?!

King Hippo

The Brits call what is about to happen to Philbin “getting the sack.”

Spur

Seriously who could replace Philbin?

entropy

In terms of sheer ineptitude? Or were you serious?

laserguru

Knucklehead Smith?

Horatio Cornblower

Isn’t that one Tea Leoni was just sworn in to do in that Madam Secretary ad that I seem to have developed an unhealthy fascination with?

Sharkbait

Michael Strahan has already done it to one Philbin

laserguru

Howdy folks. Is this game worth getting out of bed to watch?
Fuck man, it’s not even 9 out here.

entropy

I’m enjoying it, but I’m a Jets fan. Your mileage may vary.

Sharkbait

Put it this way: Dolphins caught in tuna nets put up more of a fight than the Miami Dolphins today.

packman_jon

Do you enjoy tire fires?

entropy

That was a guy in a Miami jersey joining a Jets chant. NFL LONDON!!! Are you ready?!

Horatio Cornblower

Wait, how many people have to die before the Secretary of State gets to be President?

entropy

Roughly the state population of Delaware.

Horatio Cornblower

I looked it up. it’s 4.

Fun fact, Secretary of the Treasury is 5th. Come on Jacob Lew!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

4. Oh, you were being sarcastic. Well, the answer is 4 anyways

...

The same number that have to die to make Morgan Freeman Chief Justice of the Mother Fucking Supreme Court of the United States.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

Tannehill needs to go rebutter himself after this drive.

entropy

The Jets D is intent on getting me some points in the Insanity League. I appreciate that.

Horatio Cornblower

“What do you do here if you’re Joe Philbin?”

“I start updating my resume.”

Bortleback

Right gents, I’m out. Italy-Ireland is calling me.

Horatio Cornblower

what are they calling you?

Bugg

Very drunk?

stinkbomb

Thats the Dolphins asking you to coach.

Bortleback

If they let me use Madden’s coach suggestions to call plays then I’ll give it a go

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am disappointed with myself right now. I tried really hard a few minutes ago to make a Houdini/Fitzpatrick/dying from AIDs joke. Made like 5 passes at it never got it to work. Just wanted to let you know I tried, then just went out for a cig

Horatio Cornblower

The important thing is you tried and then quit.

...

Tannehill’s wife must have been so pissed and confused when someone told her about an Arsenal in London but that she still couldn’t bring her guns.

bourb0nblues

Dan “positive vibes” Fouts

Spur

I’m not used to seeing the Jets win on purpose. It’s weird. I don’t know if I like it.

entropy

I’m treating this as an acid flashback.mits too surreal to be anything else.

Horatio Cornblower

Tonight on 60 Minutes we discuss what’s more dangerous on our roads: Driverless cars or the elderly?

entropy

Aren’t they the same thing?

Spur

Can’t wait till driverless cars become a mainstream thing, I hate driving

Horatio Cornblower

Yes, cars that rely on software to do everything will truly be a miracle. Just ask Volkswagon.

entropy

Turn signals: how do they work? (A special report by Violent J of ICP)

Horatio Cornblower

IT’S THE THIN ONE ON THE RIGHT!!!!!

Me, every time I get stuck behind anyone more than three years older than me on Rt. 6.

packman_jon

“Other drivers, do they exist?”

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

And the sun sets on the Philbin Empire.

Horatio Cornblower

He’s the Harold Godwinson of the NFL.

Bortleback

The BBC are now interviewing David Hasselhoff on the sideline…….

Bortleback

Direct quote: “Today the Jets have got the eye of the tiger”

Bortleback

Someone send Joe Philbin this link in case they don’t let him on the flight back: https://www.gov.uk/jobseekers-allowance/overview

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

Spur

Pip pip cheerio..am told that means “hello” in Limey.

Brocky

How are you this fine morning good sir

entropy

Yo.

Horatio Cornblower

Zac Stacy is currently in the running for MVP of the Week for Sill’s Insanity League.

Spur

What are the odds Philbin makes it onto the plane home?

entropy

He’s gonna hide in the landing gear, Chapelle-style.

Spur

Suh’s jersey isn’t even dirty.

entropy

I’ll be there, as I’m out of whiskey.

...

British spectator #1: Did you see that quartered back running down the pitch? He was magnificent!
British spectator #2: Indeed! I’ll bet he’s an Oxford lad!

Horatio Cornblower

“I heard he played real football at university!”

Horatio Cornblower

Ryan Fitzpatrick does remind me of Houdini when he runs because he looks like he’s chained up.

entropy

Miami making Fitzpatrick look alarmingly competent.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

You misspelled Brandon Marshall.