[in the voice of Sir David Attenborough, noted documentarian]
“Here we see the common North American football fan in its lair. Sprawled amongst the bedsheets, it has had a mostly pleasant evening. Recent advances in the field of Dreamology indicate that the visions it has during the night consist primarily of unprotected and consequence-free sex with friend’s wives/husbands, teachers from high school, co-workers, waitresses, bus drivers, hobos, major political figures, deli clerks, people that held the door open, hair dressers, folks at the gym and individuals that have the STOP/SLOW sign at construction sites. There may be others but this area of Dreamology is getting bogged down in details to be honest. As it rises to face a new day it yawns and performs the ritualistic ‘vigorous scratching of the hind quarters’ and of course it must mark its porcelain territory as well.” [to be continued]
NYJ @ Mia: Miami has the home field advantage over in London but Ivory and Revis are back so that should even things out a bit. The Fins D has made Fitz-type (mediocre) QB’s look good. Tyrod and Bortles averaged a 92 QBR in their games against Miami. There’s talk already on fan sites that things are spinning out of control under Philbin. This implies that they were in a controlled spin before the season started which sounds about right. Seriously, a loss here will go quite far in determining how quickly/long they will #occupyAFCEastbasement. Across the field/ocean there’s plenty of huzzahs for Mr. Bowles who has applied a steady hand to the team in general and the D specifically. This sure looks like a sloppy romp by the Jets, doesn’t it?
How is that not pass interference?
Besides, of course, the NFL HQ calling the refs and saying “Make it close. We need the Jaguars in London ASAP!”
Pretty sure it has something to do with Greenwich Mean Time.
Interference doesn’t get much more blatant than that!
Bowles was a Sparano man and he’s a successful coach?
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/804/617/d5b.jpg
I remember when I was in a Buffalo Wild Wings in Manhattan when 9/11 happened. Changed my life.
I was in a Dave and Busters when I did 9/11.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/dcad8b9157ec19e6558f0836037cf26e/tumblr_nt5eow7HS31qa70eyo3_400.gif
Mornin’ everyone. Why does it feel like the Jets should have about 150 more points?
http://33.media.tumblr.com/c4320961bfd8cbbf23c7be46ceffc9ce/tumblr_ntcjo6lxBT1r6u8vzo2_r1_250.gif
Can Philbin plea for refugee status from the Brits?
He can take over for “The Special One” at Chelski.
I’m flirting with the idea of having negative points per carry/reception in the Worst. League. Ever. next year. Thoughts?
Love it.
My wife’s a real estate agent and she’s running around working her ass off this morning while I’m sitting here in sweats, slurping hot chocolate.
This is great.
Packgirl is running a marathon while I sit on my ass and watch footbaw. Life is great
That’s the no. 1 reason I could never do real estate: working on Sundays.
#2 is having no knowledge whatsoever about anything to do with real estate
Scotch as near as I can tell it’s the only profession with more backstabbing and more annoying clients than the legal profession.
Those people are truly monsters. Except my wife of course; she’s an angel.
“This is a…. house…? Yeah, done in the traditional four-wall style. Good schools? Well, there’s A school nearby…”
I don’t about you guys but my left hand has been a gigantic bitch recently.
Dan Fouts is fucking horrid, oh me oh my.
You should hear him call a Chargers game. It’s like he’s seething with hate for the team he used to play for.
i believe it
I swear I think the those three pi calls have gained more yards for the Dolphins than their offense had generated.
If it’s more than 55 yards you are correct.
58 on one drive, so right now, the refs are the best players on The Dolphins.
Jets CB’s doing their best to keep the Fins in the game and are failing at it.
NCIS: Pawtucket
Followed by CSI: Poughkeepsie.
Law and Order: Worcester
There’s a serial sea turtle fucker on the loose.
Gran Marais Fire on Saturday Nights!
Here’s the morning nightmare fuel making the rounds
http://i.imgur.com/TZLFvhy.jpg
I don’t ordinarily advocate smashing a pumpkin that someone’s put that much work into but I’m willing to make exceptions.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/ab5f45a2d4cd880b55d921f7b4ab3e4e/tumblr_ndpheofdzm1rihrk7o10_1280.jpg
+1 Oh bother
OK guys it’s too nice a day to keep sitting here. I’m going apple-picking.
/walks out to the one apple tree in yard
//picks last two apples off tree
Whew! Thank God that crap’s over with!
/cracks open beer.
You are an inspiration.
Now start fermenting them!
So you went…outcider?
And he pulls a Scobee. Philbin keeps his job for another drive.
FOLK IMPLOSION!!
He needs to be checked for Scobees
I have no idea why I like this Twitter
https://twitter.com/Aerostars4Sale/status/650530888237846528
Truly, the internet is a wonderful place.
When your chinstrap ends up being your mouthpiece, you just might’ve got roughed up a bit….
How in the hell did I end up hungover after only 4..wait, 5…uh 8 beers?
Waitaminute, waitaminute! There’s a show starring Téa Leoni as the Secretary of State?! Who’s stupid enough to green-light this ?!?!
The Brits call what is about to happen to Philbin “getting the sack.”
Seriously who could replace Philbin?
In terms of sheer ineptitude? Or were you serious?
Knucklehead Smith?
Isn’t that one Tea Leoni was just sworn in to do in that Madam Secretary ad that I seem to have developed an unhealthy fascination with?
Michael Strahan has already done it to one Philbin
Howdy folks. Is this game worth getting out of bed to watch?
Fuck man, it’s not even 9 out here.
I’m enjoying it, but I’m a Jets fan. Your mileage may vary.
Put it this way: Dolphins caught in tuna nets put up more of a fight than the Miami Dolphins today.
Do you enjoy tire fires?
That was a guy in a Miami jersey joining a Jets chant. NFL LONDON!!! Are you ready?!
Wait, how many people have to die before the Secretary of State gets to be President?
Roughly the state population of Delaware.
I looked it up. it’s 4.
Fun fact, Secretary of the Treasury is 5th. Come on Jacob Lew!
4. Oh, you were being sarcastic. Well, the answer is 4 anyways
The same number that have to die to make Morgan Freeman Chief Justice of the Mother Fucking Supreme Court of the United States.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB8iNrmslHY
What’s for breakfast?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/9c9b1d821e23c7904e1deda20316ef82/tumblr_mzasdz6GF41qzhnmco1_500.jpg
Beer, I’m thinking.
Tannehill needs to go rebutter himself after this drive.
The Jets D is intent on getting me some points in the Insanity League. I appreciate that.
“What do you do here if you’re Joe Philbin?”
“I start updating my resume.”
Right gents, I’m out. Italy-Ireland is calling me.
what are they calling you?
Very drunk?
Thats the Dolphins asking you to coach.
If they let me use Madden’s coach suggestions to call plays then I’ll give it a go
I am disappointed with myself right now. I tried really hard a few minutes ago to make a Houdini/Fitzpatrick/dying from AIDs joke. Made like 5 passes at it never got it to work. Just wanted to let you know I tried, then just went out for a cig
The important thing is you tried and then quit.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/4b763df31615a5ec12b85526181822f9/tumblr_inline_mgjwwugHJz1roqm64.jpg
Tannehill’s wife must have been so pissed and confused when someone told her about an Arsenal in London but that she still couldn’t bring her guns.
Dan “positive vibes” Fouts
I’m not used to seeing the Jets win on purpose. It’s weird. I don’t know if I like it.
I’m treating this as an acid flashback.mits too surreal to be anything else.
Tonight on 60 Minutes we discuss what’s more dangerous on our roads: Driverless cars or the elderly?
Aren’t they the same thing?
Can’t wait till driverless cars become a mainstream thing, I hate driving
Yes, cars that rely on software to do everything will truly be a miracle. Just ask Volkswagon.
“Which One’s The Gas?: An Investigation.”
Turn signals: how do they work? (A special report by Violent J of ICP)
IT’S THE THIN ONE ON THE RIGHT!!!!!
Me, every time I get stuck behind anyone more than three years older than me on Rt. 6.
“Other drivers, do they exist?”
And the sun sets on the Philbin Empire.
He’s the Harold Godwinson of the NFL.
The BBC are now interviewing David Hasselhoff on the sideline…….
Direct quote: “Today the Jets have got the eye of the tiger”
Someone send Joe Philbin this link in case they don’t let him on the flight back: https://www.gov.uk/jobseekers-allowance/overview
Gentlemen.
Says you.
Pip pip cheerio..am told that means “hello” in Limey.
How are you this fine morning good sir
Yo.
Zac Stacy is currently in the running for MVP of the Week for Sill’s Insanity League.
…
http://rack.2.mshcdn.com/media/ZgkyMDEyLzA0LzI5LzE1XzQwXzU1XzI1OV9maWxlCnAJdGh1bWIJODUweDg1MD4KZQlqcGc/84cdf447.jpg
What are the odds Philbin makes it onto the plane home?
He’s gonna hide in the landing gear, Chapelle-style.
Sloppy Romp!
Suh’s jersey isn’t even dirty.
Only thing about him that isn’t.
I’ll be at the liquor store at the crack of noon with all the other drun.., uh, degenerat…uh, “alcohol aficionados”.
I’ll be there, as I’m out of whiskey.
British spectator #1: Did you see that quartered back running down the pitch? He was magnificent!
British spectator #2: Indeed! I’ll bet he’s an Oxford lad!
“I heard he played real football at university!”
“E-Ton!”
“E-Ton!”
Ryan Fitzpatrick does remind me of Houdini when he runs because he looks like he’s chained up.
Miami making Fitzpatrick look alarmingly competent.
You misspelled Brandon Marshall.