Your Monday Nighter Open Thread

Det @ Sea: The Rams upset of the Cards yesterday makes it imperative for the ‘Hawks to grab this one. (And I thought the NFC East is a mess-which it is) With Lynch out Thomas Rawls (who?) gets the ball. He’s 5’9″ and 215 lbs. and hails from Central Michigan GO CHIPPEWAS! (I guess?) Anyone mamember Melvin McLaughlin? Of course you don’t-he is only  the leading career scorer for their basketball team! After giving up more than 60 points in their first two games the Seattle D threw a zero at the Bears so they may be rounding into shape OR the Bears are going scoreless from here on out and the Seahawks got in on the ground floor. According to Pro Football Focus the Lions have the most “wave to the defensive player as he runs by and gets pressure on the QB”. (may want to tighten up that terminology a bit, PFF) I look forward to Stafford doing his best impression of a fat kid trying to avoid being run over by an ice cream truck.

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John Difool

The Gruden Grinder…. a lot less scary than Gruden on Grindr.

Wakezilla

These Detroit Lions, I call Cecil the Lion because their season is clearly dead.

/obligatory

WCS

ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER ‏@ZODIAC_MF 33 seconds ago
“THE LIONS WHO HAVE FOUND EVERY POSSIBLE WAY TO LOSE GAMES ADD ANOTHER CHAPTER TO THE BOOK.” THIS IS WHY I WATCH GOODFELLAS INSTEAD

packman_jon

Zodiac MF is a goddamn national treasure

JustStopDude

So…when do we start cheering for the Lions to go for a perfect losing season again?

HeadBeeGuy

This is as good a time as any. After tonight, I BELIEVE!!!

makeitsnowondem

“to see the bottom corner of the glass that’s half-empty”

what

HeadBeeGuy

Lions gon’ Lion

packman_jon

It’s okay Lions
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Sill Bimmons
JustStopDude

Mistake by going out of bounds? Oh shut up Mike…

Seriously that has to be one of the dumbest statements in MNF history.

Its fucking first down, less than a minute 30, and he expects the receiver to stay in bounds and risk a fumble vice taking a knee twice…

aceg

Somehow this game didn’t illicit a smarmy Carroll gif… simply amazing.

Senor Weaselo

Victory formation! Thank goodness…

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Sill Bimmons

My happiness meter went from “Very” to “Very Not” in a remarkably short period of time.

John Difool

Herman Moore must be spinning in his grave right now.

*checks to see if Herman Moore is dead*

Why Thank You Eddie

Barry Sanders just shit on his neighbor’s 5000 square foot lawn and is waiting for him to come outside.

Old School Zero

Detroit is Kearsed.

Old School Zero

PK, you can just send me a check for $50k for writing that tweet for you.

WCS

Or Rovell.

packman_jon

MAYBE

JustStopDude

So is Carroll is definitely going to throw it here right?

Wakezilla

3 &2?

Gotta pay tribute to the twin towers.

Spanky Datass

Yep. What an asshole.

Zap Rowsdower

Supreme Chancellor!

aceg

So like it’s clear that Pete Carroll long ago sold his immoral soul to the devil, right??

The Maestro

Tirico: “Calvin Johnson, he’s a big guy…”

Bane: “For you…”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tribulation Consolidated just announced a plan to open a new facility in Detroit.

Senor Weaselo

The Lions’ offense is gonna score all the touchdowns! They can make it on their own!

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makeitsnowondem

http://hrwiki.org/w/images/8/89/tendafoot.png

Sound financial advice, anyone?

makeitsnowondem

Correct.

Sill Bimmons

Holy FUCKBALLS universe

JustStopDude

Oh Calvin…finding new and exciting ways for the Lions to suck!

HeadBeeGuy

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Maestro

DEEEEEEEEERRRRPPPP

Jesus megatron is one unlucky motherfucker.

John Difool

MEGADERP

HeadBeeGuy

Conversely, DERPATRON

Sill Bimmons

um wut

Senor Weaselo

What in the fuck.

packman_jon

TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS

Sharkbait

Oh Lions.

Wakezilla

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

makeitsnowondem

I know I’m traditionally one of our loudest voices in favor of the Extra Drinking Period, but I just can’t tonight.

Sill Bimmons

Tirico would stab Gruden’s eyes right out of his head if he knew he could get away with it.

Brick Meathook

Detroit will somehow find a way to fuck this up

Col. Duke LaCross

In spectacular fashion!

WCS

Welp..

bourb0nblues

Heyyyyyy!

packman_jon

Jesus, dude. FYI, it doesn’t count if you came into contact with NSZ.

makeitsnowondem

ANTONIO CROMARTIE: I lost.

VOICEOVER: ESPN presents Trojan War.

John Difool

YES

Senor Weaselo

If this game were a car, it would be this.

http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/5/56/Gremlinnormal.png

packman_jon

Trent Dilfer?
Stabby?

LOLNOOOP

Senor Weaselo

Crazy enough I referenced this the other day regarding Horatio’s son’s Englilish paper.

WCS

Page 17 from the Philadelphia Sports Fan Guidebook, “Smuggling Projectiles into the Stadium”

Sill Bimmons

Was that Sandy Bollocks?

John Difool

Somebody forgot to tell Matt Stafford coming into this game that he is Matt Stafford.

JustStopDude

I was going to suggest he check the waist band of his underwear…but I don’t think he can see if he is even wearing them without a large mirror.

“The fuck is this shit” Seattle D on Lions’ O on this drive.

Badger

I swear to God Seatle D/ST. If you fuck me over…

Brick Meathook

Detroit is gonna win this.

WCS

Or, throw a pick-six..

JustStopDude

Or tie…

Moonbatting Average

Peyton Manning: “This game is like my sex life”

makeitsnowondem

“This game is, like, my sex life.”

— Michael Sam probably

Why Thank You Eddie

Cause every time I ask for head she runs out screaming.

/kisses biceps
//takes home run trot

Sill Bimmons

Glad I didn’t participate in that.

Sharkbait

“Phillp Rivers pulled that game out”

That’s the only time he’ll pull out Tirico.

Why Thank You Eddie

Hi-yo!

WCS

Strong Sad is the Houston Texans of Homestar.

JustStopDude

Holy shit…I just read that in the last 72 hours, over 74 people have OD’d on heroin.

The human in me just shakes my head at that. The former smack head from Baltimore in me wants to call them all pussies…

JustStopDude

In Chicago. These have all occurred in Chicago.

John Difool

Good hustle…

JustStopDude

I was at a steel mill and they were pulling cables. 3 phase shit. I freaked out the electricians when I could tell them to the quarter pound how much they had in a bin.

It had been a while since I was in the game so I couldn’t tell them how much that was worth in cash.

Old School Zero

bad/pure batches don’t discriminate against your tolerance.

JustStopDude

I guessing the shit is being cut with fentanyl.

That stuff would make Keith Richards nod off.

It would kill the rest of us….