![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Det @ Sea: The Rams upset of the Cards yesterday makes it imperative for the ‘Hawks to grab this one. (And I thought the NFC East is a mess-which it is) With Lynch out Thomas Rawls (who?) gets the ball. He’s 5’9″ and 215 lbs. and hails from Central Michigan GO CHIPPEWAS! (I guess?) Anyone mamember Melvin McLaughlin? Of course you don’t-he is only the leading career scorer for their basketball team! After giving up more than 60 points in their first two games the Seattle D threw a zero at the Bears so they may be rounding into shape OR the Bears are going scoreless from here on out and the Seahawks got in on the ground floor. According to Pro Football Focus the Lions have the most “wave to the defensive player as he runs by and gets pressure on the QB”. (may want to tighten up that terminology a bit, PFF) I look forward to Stafford doing his best impression of a fat kid trying to avoid being run over by an ice cream truck.
Your Monday Nighter Open Thread
This game is missing something…
So are the Miami Dolphins’ defense.
“They got about 16 minutes to do something or they’ll be 0-4.” I believe it’s about 14 minutes, Jon.
When the fuck did fallout boy become the go to for sports music??
Since the NFL wore out all of their Maroon 5 and Nickleback CD’s.
Is Mariah Carey the replacement for Kate Hudson in the US as well? Because that is a god awful substitution.
No. But she has replaced Kate Upton in that video game app
ESPN is like my sex life because if I don’t won’t to prematurely ejaculate I just close my eyes and think of Chris Berman.
Statistically speaking, there is one guy who will prematurely ejaculate just by closing his eyes and thinking of Chris Berman.
Nightmare fuel.
Puntkakkee?
This game is like my sex life in that you could use those words to describe it in the loosest terms.
Seattle could have also just drafted or signed offensive linemen
What’s the fun of that?
Pete Carroll believes that college offensive lineman are Illuminati spies.
Rawls is showing great vision and picking up a lot of yards after the veil of ignorance.
This game is like my sex life in that just when a hole opens up the play gets called back.
Needs more Sweet Cuppin Cakes.
http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/e/e6/keyboardstrongbad.png/220px-keyboardstrongbad.png
This game is like my sex life in that I’m giving up and going to bed and it’s not over yet.
And the first chink in Draft Kings and Fan Duel’s armour may have just happened:
Yep, that sounds about right.
Crooked as fuck? Well I never…[clutches pearls]
Triumph of the Willson.
This game is like my sex life because I’m online and typing with my right hand
+Southpaw
Just when I thought tonight couldn’t get any stranger.
Can someone call a Midwestern dentist to put the Lions out of their misery.
Chocolate chips are a very underated munchies snack
I, too, am known for taking shots in the situation of Matt Stafford passing.
— Every Detroit fan
THIS GAME I CALL IT MY SEX LIFE BECAUSE SOMEONE JUST MUFFED A PUNT!!! WAIT, I SWITCHED SOME LETTERS AROUND!!!!
?w=240&h=320
This game is just like my sex life in that somewhere nearby, someone is throwing a fish to someone else while being filmed.
This game is like my sex life because it’s loud in the background
I sort of wish the NFL was an uncapped, just to marvel at how Dan Synder can have a $500 million payroll and still go 6-10.
Astros v. Yankees kinda shows how much a salary cap matters, dont it?
The cap. The reason Gibbs 2.0 didn’t work.
Welcome to the New York Rangers circa 1998-2003
He’d sign Falcao or at least get him on loan
This game is just like Horatio’s sex life because he’s thinking about baseball the entire time.
Is that wrong?
Just finished prepping a pork butt for my slowcooker for dinner tomorrow. And I see another FG. Kicks for the kicking gods!
KIKKAKKE
THIS GAME IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BURGERKINGS DAILY FANTASY HEART DISEASE
This game is like my sex life in that I missed half of it, I have no idea what’s going on, and don’t particularly care about either of the parties involved.
This game is like my sex life because the lady I’m with….. I’m usually her 12th man…… of the evening.
This game is like my sex life because my wife is bored, and just wants it to finish.
This game is like my sex life because the crowd noise can be distracting and sometimes there’s an injury timeout.
This game is like my sex life because my doctor says I’m not healthy enough for it.
This game is like my sex life in that a large black man is beating the shit out of me.
I’m Matthew McConaughey; look for me in the hilarious new movie ‘The Paperboy’, which manages to suck despite having me, John Cusack and Nicole Kidman as a nymphomaniac.
CANNONBALL! CANNONBALL COMIN’!
http://33.media.tumblr.com/0fa7068c274c3642c445f7c475d3bb98/tumblr_nraevpu6Lk1qdp82do1_400.gif
The pond would be good for you.
Chevy Chase at the end just makes this perfect GIF even more perfect.
This game is like my sex life because I’m gonna be hurting if it lasts longer than four hours.
DNP Priapism
Is it wrong that I want someone to hit Russell Wilson so hard they knock the Jesus right out of him?
No, no you are not.
This game is just like my sex life in that it’s SPONSORED BY DRAFTKINGS DOT COM! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A TWO PUMP CHUMP ON DRAFTKINGS DOT COM, JUST HOOK UP YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AND YOU CAN GET INSTANT SATISFACTION! USE PROMO CODE BUTTPLUG!
#BlueberryButtplug
It’s like the rarest spun heaven metal!
Or like silvery wine flowing on a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now!
Where was the pic of Kaepernick? He has ZERO yards passing tonight. Pathetic.
Just got home from work. What’d I miss?
Work apparently.
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!! Oh, that was good one.
…oh, wait, you’re serious?
The usual sexy pics.
http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/5/57/sbemail127.png/300px-sbemail127.png
Dinner
I’m watching the World Series of Poker, (no, YOU have a gambling problem!), and there’s a big guy dressed all in Chiefs gear playing very well.
I FOUND OTTO MAN!!!!!
You’re almost free now, genie….
I think Andy Reid would be good at poker because he never gives away his chips.
?
This game is like my sex life in that most of the positions don’t work.
There’s no way you last this long
What about the center/quarterback exchange?
All games are like my sex life…. it’s not over until the fat lady sings…. because I’m usually on top of one.
Equal justice for Gillian.
http://critdick.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/24/Gillian-Jacobs-cameltoe.jpg
I hope they have a permit for that camel.
She might be my favorite ever.
She did answer one of my questions on that OTHER site…
Do you think Chris Berman will go politely and quietly to the glue factory or will ESPN have to smack him in the forehead with a sledgehammer first?
I’ll happily volunteer to do the latter.
Air hammer.
Watching the Top Gear RallyCross episode.
You?
Philbin’s head looks like a lightly skinned skull
HALFTIME LAFFS
I just checked my team in Sill’s 20 team league. DTZM and I are tied with no players remaining.
DTZM is a 100% favorite to win.
I do not understand this league at all.
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