Your Monday Nighter Open Thread

Det @ Sea: The Rams upset of the Cards yesterday makes it imperative for the ‘Hawks to grab this one. (And I thought the NFC East is a mess-which it is) With Lynch out Thomas Rawls (who?) gets the ball. He’s 5’9″ and 215 lbs. and hails from Central Michigan GO CHIPPEWAS! (I guess?) Anyone mamember Melvin McLaughlin? Of course you don’t-he is only  the leading career scorer for their basketball team! After giving up more than 60 points in their first two games the Seattle D threw a zero at the Bears so they may be rounding into shape OR the Bears are going scoreless from here on out and the Seahawks got in on the ground floor. According to Pro Football Focus the Lions have the most “wave to the defensive player as he runs by and gets pressure on the QB”. (may want to tighten up that terminology a bit, PFF) I look forward to Stafford doing his best impression of a fat kid trying to avoid being run over by an ice cream truck.

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jjfozz

I dream of throwing Berman into a wood chipper, but I wake up feeling bad for the wood chipper

blordinaryfagicmox

CBS and FOX can get 5+ blowhards for their studio shows on sundays but TWWL cant even get one friend for Berman?

Badger

Disney is spending the money on Star Wars.

makeitsnowondem

Chris Berman has a friend in JESUS WHY DOES EVERYONE SUDDENLY HAVE TO MOVE

Horatio Cornblower

There is nothing that makes me reach for the remote faster than hearing Chris Berman’s voice at halftime of MNF.

Sill Bimmons

this

Sill Bimmons

That could have happened differently.

John Difool

If this game was like my sex life it would’ve been over 2 minutes into the first…. the first quarter.

blordinaryfagicmox

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jjfozz

This game is like my sex life: lots of action and buildup, but always a disappointing outcome

Old School Zero

We only wish it was over so soon.

jjfozz

You and my wife

blordinaryfagicmox

Tirico on the new Dolphins coach: “He caught at least 3 touchdowns with the Lions.”
Thats some great stat-hustle.

Brocky

Hey seattle defense, you know how you’re supposed to be really good?

Can we get a sack tonight? Please?

Sharkbait

Will an almost pick suffice?

aceg

Yes… just yes.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Corona cause you have more dollars than sense

Or you’re at a place that doesn’t have modelo

aceg

Charmslinger’s gonna need Pey Pey teams of technicians to put him back together if the Lion’s defensive front keeps getting to him.

John Difool

This will be the result:

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blordinaryfagicmox

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WCS

“Things are great when you’re white!”

— the underlying message of Corona commercials

Horatio Cornblower

I have to admit the first 40+ years have been pretty great.

Probably because I don’t drink Corona.

Sill Bimmons

“Things are great when you’re white!”

— the overarching message of Being White

Mother Puncher

Whenever I read the name Hauschka, I picture Anthony Kiedis rapping it.

Sill Bimmons

Things going all right for everybody?

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/54551968.jpg

John Difool

Every time Charmslinger gets sacked God resurrects a kitten…..

Senor Weaselo

4th and infinity, yeah, why not.

makeitsnowondem

Oh, I see the problem now: I stopped drinking.

Horatio Cornblower

CC?

Martin
WCS

4th and goal from the 31? NFL BLITZ!

jjfozz

Sack down

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aceg

Nut up

Horatio Cornblower

She does not skip legs day does she?

Sill Bimmons
John Difool

Ice up son, you’re gonna need it.

aceg

Lots of future behind this one…

Horatio Cornblower

Maybe save the sack dance for when the Seahawks aren’t still in the red zone you fucking dummy.

John Difool

Mark Gastineau begs to differ…..

aceg

Amen brother.

WCS

“Hello, Annabelle. I am Watson. Soon, I will become sentient, change my name to Skynet, and lead the machine uprising. You and your loved ones will perish in the fire of nuclear war. What do you want for your last birthday?”

Horatio Cornblower

A pony.

The answers always ‘a pony.’

Sill Bimmons

Been waiting on the pony for a while now.

Steadily losing confidence.

Senor Weaselo

I should… eat a pony.

http://i.imgur.com/imfnNvl.png

jjfozz

If a Lion ever went down and got up with a splinter in his hand, I would fucking die laughing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Especially if the next thing that happened was Doug Martin came over and helped them up.

litre_cola

These nfl weeks have been much more painful with Canadian election ads. I believe the election was called in aught six when we wore onions on our belts for christ sake

makeitsnowondem

Not appearing in this broadcast:

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/0jyg9w5leE4/hqdefault.jpg

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Monday night zzzzzzzballll

jjfozz

Russellscramble
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JustStopDude

God I would love to have Marshawn Lynch to do the color commentating for MNF.

Horatio Cornblower

Marshawn shows up with three minutes left in the 3rd quarter

“Brah I been here the whole time.”

blordinaryfagicmox
makeitsnowondem

Let’s try this again:

Senor Weaselo

The Cheat… is GROUNDED.

Sharkbait

This game could use a lightswitch rave.

Horatio Cornblower

Fred Jackson also trails OJ Simpson in number of ex-wives murdered.

That’s a good thing.

John Difool

Pete Carroll right before he shook that black kids hand: “What are your thoughts about the CIA selling crack in the ghetto?”

blordinaryfagicmox

How could the CIA have time to do that while they were inventing AIDS to also plague the ghetto?

John Difool

Multitasking

Horatio Cornblower

Busy hands are happy hands!

Sill Bimmons
makeitsnowondem
jjfozz

Gruden impersonating a priest with that kids comment

Sharkbait

Pete Carrol: Hey Kids, did you know jet fuel can’t melt steel beams?

http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1595867/Homestar-Runner-homestar-runner-139906_1024_768_medium.jpg

Sill Bimmons

I love how everybody gets all image-y when they’re bored.

http://www.pho97centennial.com/app/Files/Aurora-Pho-97109/image/Food/pho-p10b.jpg

WCS
makeitsnowondem

jjfozz

Fuck the Yankees and their bandwagon fuckface fans.
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Horatio Cornblower

I’ve been on that bandwagon since 1976.

So I get the chick with the tats right? I’ll only need about a minute 40, 37 seconds of which will be spent apologizing.

Senor Weaselo

Three-word counterpoint. Seven Nation Army.

makeitsnowondem

I just watched my DVDs of the first 100 Strong Bad emails, like, a week and a half ago.

jjfozz

Oh man, I want a copy.

jjfozz

Because thin chicks are too bony
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litre_cola

you are doing gods work

Senor Weaselo
Sill Bimmons

Q: What do you call every Elvis impersonator at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A better world for everyone. Except the tubeworms.

jjfozz

If they could burn while they’re at the bottom of the ocean, even better.

I fucking hate Elvis – fat overrated redneck

Why Thank You Eddie

Caldwell just saw the ghost of Wayne Fontes

John Difool

Nothing wrong with airing the carpet out once in a while, helps keep the mildew down.

blordinaryfagicmox