![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Det @ Sea: The Rams upset of the Cards yesterday makes it imperative for the ‘Hawks to grab this one. (And I thought the NFC East is a mess-which it is) With Lynch out Thomas Rawls (who?) gets the ball. He’s 5’9″ and 215 lbs. and hails from Central Michigan GO CHIPPEWAS! (I guess?) Anyone mamember Melvin McLaughlin? Of course you don’t-he is only the leading career scorer for their basketball team! After giving up more than 60 points in their first two games the Seattle D threw a zero at the Bears so they may be rounding into shape OR the Bears are going scoreless from here on out and the Seahawks got in on the ground floor. According to Pro Football Focus the Lions have the most “wave to the defensive player as he runs by and gets pressure on the QB”. (may want to tighten up that terminology a bit, PFF) I look forward to Stafford doing his best impression of a fat kid trying to avoid being run over by an ice cream truck.
Your Monday Nighter Open Thread
“Honey, what do you think of my necklace?”
“Wait, you have a neck?”
“Not much of a neck, if you ask me.”
– Mike Glennon
Matt Stafford does a great Alex smith impression
Hee hee, ESPN calling them the “DETROT” Lions now.
Don’t forget “Muscle Spillson”
Well, there is a lot of rot in that city.
If I ever get around to writing that NFL-themed porn parody, I’m going to name one of the characters “Matt Stiffrod”.
Watch as he takes Joe Flaccid under his wing and teaches him how to plow through his problems
Joe Flaccid is not A ELITE quart-on-her-back.
He enjoys the size of Calvin “Long” Johnson but prefers the kink of Golden “Showers” Taint.
“Calvin MegaJohnsonTron”
My eyes are up HERE
I don’t care.
I’d be more than happy to discuss the 11-cis to all-trans reconfiguration of retinol driving the sight of those dreamy green eyes with her…
I’ve tried to get into that walking dead show…but usually like halfway in, I’m rooting for the zombies to just eat the cast already…
That’s half the fun.
If only they could all be like Michonne. Cut muthafuckas up with a kitana, keep they dumb mouth shut.
Gruden says “Jiminy Christmas” and the Fourth Seal just opened
Rev 6:7
WUTHELLWILTHONDOWN!
Did you just say parakeet?
Paraquat?
Pretty much.
INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD
TOUGHDOWN
I read in the Economist that Detroit is offering some tremendous tax breaks and making a serious effort to court the Sadness Industry.
I had to work the Thanksgiving week and the next in Detroit. Specifically a steel mill in Ecorse. No bullshit, I ate Thanksgiving dinner in a fucking soup kitchen because nothing else was open.
wow.
Well that should help erase most of that $18B in debt!
Part of me says, “Wow! Great pass.” The other part says, “Fuck, Pete Carroll is happy.”
If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure I said by week 7, Wilson will be on the IR because the O-Line is swiss cheese and he’s going to take a beating.
Nice catch.
There’s the Baldwin points someone was asking for.
That would be me. And yes I scared the hell out of my gf and pug by yelling at the tv
That’s some quality “LOOK OUT” blocking…
still hypnotized by this, fwiw
If I had the choice of reliving this day or being forced to take a sauna with John Madden, I’d say, “Make it nice and steamy.”
and to think, the week’s only gettin’ started!
Is this a Homestar Runner night? I’m okay with this.
Bocce ball player te
Jimmy Graham looks good, I bet he’d be a good basketball player
Rawls you fucking cocksucker
Oh great, the Flag Gods have awoken from their slumber…
“Alexa, cruise Block Island Sound”
Those vacuum pump bottle topper things may not do shit for wine, but I do find them useful for preserving tall bottles of strong but low carbonation bottles of beer (like imperial stouts) for another day (if put on right away).
I’m so hungry, the food in this Applebee’s commercial looks good
Tirico: “That was a legal hit… Still dangerous.”
Pretty much sums up the NFL right there.
And the cops.
We’re doing shots every punt right?
You live in Compton?
In this game? Oh god, don’t die.
You’d expect Matt Stafford to be a more willing lead blocker, what with him weighing about five hundred pounds.
Yeah, he fucking totally bailed on that play
So I finally don’t have to contend with baseball, at least for a couple days, and this is the game we get?
Monica Bellucci (NSFW)
http://martin-ksk.tumblr.com/post/116573869732/vintageruminance-monica-bellucci
The most beautiful woman alive.
She’s amazing.
Her participation in The Passion Of The Christ did her in for me.
/shudder
Pete Carroll chews gum so hard, you could run a giant Redwood through his dick nibbler and turn it into mulch.
There is way too much talent in that DirecTV commercial.
Agreed. I hope it’s an entire campaign, at least.
I’m Jeffrey Tambor.
**Second Jeffrey Tambor steps out in drag**
And I’m….
/internet explodes
Fitting that Bussell Wilson is a short bus.
Because Seahomers are retarded, see.
Watson can sing all it wants, but it won’t stop us from taking its lunch money
This is the most intelligible thing Bob Dylan ever recorded.
http://i.imgur.com/YaPJfse.gif
Its going to be one of those games….
Where we all prefer a crummy Mexican beer in the end?
If you love them Gruden why don’t you marry them?
Next play give up 15 yards
It’d be a distraction for ESPN
+1 thatched roof cottage
Do you take THIS GUY to be your lawfully wedded play by play commentator for the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE?
First Michael Sam now this:
http://38.media.tumblr.com/cb4d9174010c7f50e80caf9657918bb5/tumblr_inline_n7lmm6keOs1su88p6.jpg
Good evening, you fine group of magnificent bastards
hey
Sportscenter on your iPad, when you need tebow coverage on the go……
ScoreCenter is actually a decent app.
Nothing but scores and Gamecast.
If you leave a frat party to go on the roof and watch ESPN, you are in the front fraternity. And you’re probably a huge fag.
Gentlemen.
I’ll tell you what: I just won a whole lot of money on DraftKings and I’m so glad nothing is going on that could possibly prevent me from withdrawing it.
can’t… tell… how… serious…
None. None serious.
Hooray!
How much did you win on fan duel?
You’ll have to wait for the commercial to find out.
“Justin Britt” is not a name with nearly enough grit for the O-Line.
Ngatatas is what Tom Brady calls his wife behind her back.
What’s the deal with this Lilly chick? What’s she from?
AT&T commercials.
AT&T ads. I told you earlier.
Real name Milana Vayntrub:
Twin-bearing hips.
Hee hee.
I’d like to bare her twins AMIRITE
Russell Wilson credits his ability to quickly collect that loose ball to Recovery Water.
#blessed
WILSON ON WILSON VIOLENCE
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