Your Faux-Existential Monday Night Thread

Everywhere you turn around these days it seems like things are going to shit. Whether it’s be-headings abroad or mass shootings here or government officials telling outright lies and not being called on it or hell, not getting that raise you were promised-don’t you think it would be nice to have some semblance of order? I’m not talking law and order, I’m just saying things should occasionally make a little sense. “But scotchnaut”, you interrupted before I was finished my thought-“the world is full of grey areas, there are no absolutes.” Sure, I get that and I’m with you most of the time but it would be nice if things were simpler, just for a bit. I’m not asking for ball-jarring change either. Let’s start off small-say, I don’t know…hmm, what about a Giants victory tonight? A win would separate them from the Eagles, a loss would send the NFC East into a chaotic jumble of two 3-3 teams followed by  a 2-3 team. More messiness for you, me and the world to deal with. Embrace Clarity. Go Giants!

NYG @ Phi: Eli has been a whole ‘nutella QB so far this year. He’s got the 10 TD’s with only 2 picks (though he could regress in a heartbeat and add 3 to the total tonight) and due to some very solid play from O-linemen Pugh, Richburg and Schwartz he’s only been sacked 4 times. Red zone-wise the Giants grade out at 29th in the league. (I read that Coughlin calls it the green zone because ‘green means go’ and of course the lawn thing). The three-headed mediocrity of Vereen, Jennings and Williams aren’t doing the running game any favours, Beckham is hamstringed by a leg injury as is Randle plus Kennard and Prince are out. The Eagles have taken 10 of the last 13 from NY but DeMarco does have a putrid 2.7 ypc and Matthews is out. If it falls on Bradford I’ll take my chances.

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WCS

I thought Andy Reid would have the whole iHop menu.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

I don’t get blackouts.

They make your stadium look empty.

Gratliff

and like they’re holding a gun.

WhyEaglesWhy

In this case they mean the blackout that happens when the Giants win and Eagles fans riot, destroying the grid.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly
King Hippo

make sure they ain’t no cameras! – R.R.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I understand blackouts. I can’t remember anything past the second half of the afternoon games yesterday.

… Oh you meant games. Nevermind.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Blacks Out

What things Riley Cooper thinks, Alex

WhyEaglesWhy

I pulled a sickie from work to watch this game. It better not disappoint.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Fuck the Wallabies.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Long Live Coughlin’s gin blossoms.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

I can’t wait to see Sam Bradford’s rocket arm in action.

comment image

WCS

He broke two bones, and tore his triceps taking that picture.

Sharkbait

It’s all about that 20-400 vision

http://peerie.adaptive.net/faces/full/5/4125-182217.jpg

King Hippo

Best nightmare fuel of the young season

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do I need to watch this game? Please say no.

Sharkbait

There’s always Big Bang Theory!

WCS

Ohio may vote to legalize pot, and the Browns will trade Josh Gordon the next day.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

SOMEONE SAVE HER SHES CHOKING ON THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER

Gratliff

Bjork doing a hell of a job on that national anthem

King Hippo

I am a nerd and I don’t give two fucks about Star Wars.

SIZZLING TAEK

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

I’m a nerd and I don’t give two fucks about Star Trek, LOTR or Harry Potter.

IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN IT DOES THIS WHENEVER ITS TOLD

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Last open tab with a pic. And it proves WCS wrong.

http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Alison-Brie-GIF-06.gif

King Hippo

4 Super Bowls in 19 years (and 2 wins) really is barely under average performance. Fix yo’ maths.

Gratliff

Aw man. New Day taunting Tony Romo immediately into Eagles kickoff. Fantastic.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Monday Night Football on ESPN…
http://i.imgur.com/aNY7l1m.jpg

Its like non-alcoholic Budweiser in Dubai…

WCS

The Joe Flacco of foreign drinks.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Sharkbait

I’ll take “Things That Shouldn’t Exist” for $1000 Alex.

Gratliff

Stealing the HNIC opening is the best thing MNF has done in years.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

It’s going to be hard to avoid seeing Star Wars shit before the premiere, isn’t it?

Gratliff

My son is shoving every screenshot of BB-8 he can find in my face. I don’t believe it has a scene I haven’t seen yet.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Gillian Jacobs or Alison Brie?

Moonbatting Average
Moonbatting Average

Why not both?

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Because that’s not the question I asked.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

But both is great

http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Alison-Brie-GIF-013.gif

I already had that one open in a tab too

Moonbatting Average
Moonbatting Average

Man, you’re a stickler for the rules

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Alison Brie

WCS

Gilliam Jacobs

COME AT ME BROS

King Hippo

Gillian in glasses is PERFECTION

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

hey guys

bourb0nblues
bourb0nblues

sup

WCS

woo stillers

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

sup
my grill is lit so am i

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

yo

my bong is lit and so am i

Sharkbait

How the fuck ya doing boys?

Currently watching the iceGiants. Fiance is waiting for the other Giants. I’m not sure which team is going to force the most drinking in our apartment.

Gratliff

I’m just going to pretend this Paul Heyman promo is the opening to the Eagles game.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I had this one open from earlier when I was looking for pics and felt it would be a shame not to share it when I closed the tab

http://img005.lazygirls.info/people/avatar/avatar_alison_brie_gillian_jacobs_kyUfj0bI.sized.gif

Gratliff

“Fuck your entrance, Taker.” – Cell Phones

JustStopDude
JustStopDude
Gratliff

Stone Cold opening Raw? Nice try, Vince. Football has Star Wars.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Found some old photos of a projected I worked on overseas…

http://i.imgur.com/iRjAvjf.jpg

Dear god using these squat toilets sucked.

King Hippo

there are countries that I will not visit solely due to the toilet situation

King Hippo

Karen Gillan in music video form. Many flattering outfits. Also Pee Wee Herman driving a race car.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I love their song “staring at the sun”. I can fucking listen to that on repeat and lose fucking hours…

King Hippo

I really need to see these guys live. They seem so genuinely cool. Their range is broad, and good across the spectrum. “Wolf Like Me” is a favourite pre-game song of mine.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I saw them when they were opening for NIN. I had no clue who they were.

Now that I think about it…I don’t think I have listened to any NIN since then, but I play TV on the Radio all the time. Fucking A they are awesome when I am stuck in the office and I just need to get work done. Start blasting them on my head phones and ignore the idiots around me.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

She is very good looking in every outfit. And I enjoyed the song too.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Who’s ready for some Star Wars trailers?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
JustStopDude
JustStopDude

http://i.imgur.com/7MeviaY.jpg

We ready to have some fun!?!?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This pregame is beyond terrible and my booze is out in my car, so you get an Alison Brie pic.

http://i.imgur.com/LiSwy4b.gif

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Is this the Star Wars trailer open thread?

Gratliff

Oh good. Time for this to get sad. Wouldn’t just want a happy story

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
litre_cola

She is going to back pain one day.

/those are just, just……just perfect.

King Hippo

Heh, that’s always my first thought, too. That poor gal’s lower back. For reals.

Being a leg man comes with less moral ambiguity.

litre_cola

To all my compatriots I hope you did your civic duty.
To the Giants, just lose baby.

I apologize in advance for my bitching about the Iggles tonight. I really need an Eli derpfest to happen.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
Defensive Back Mike Wallace

So I decided to watch the latest SNL Family Feud skit(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=watFrxeBNgk).
I choose… poorly.
comment image

Gratliff

I really appreciate Ray Lewis showing his appreciation for racial diversity by adopting the bowl haircut.

Warthog

I’m tired of cheering for the meteor. Go banana!
http://i.imgur.com/qHlixvn.pn

Warthog

Welp. Fucked that up. Again. I’ll be on the lawn Coughlin wants me off of.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am bored as fuck. And ESPN pregame is terrible. So you get a Kate Upton pic.

http://bouncebreak.com/gif/bounce/this-is-why-kate-upton-is-all-over-bouncebreak-com.gif

Gratliff

My kingdom for a return to kelly green Eagles.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m going up against Eli in 4 FF matchups. I need 4 IN Eli to show up!

EMBRACE THE DERP!!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Pregame Karen Gillan

http://cdn1.sciencefiction.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Karen-Gillan-Esquire-1.jpg

Yeah, this photoshoot made her blindingly white but fuck you, half naked Karen Gillan.

King Hippo

Sun should not sully that lovely skin.

Doktor Zymm

I’m looking forward to some classic NFC East derp tonight. HERP THE DERP DERP DOO!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The NFC East has for years been the darling of the media, with no one outside of fans of the specific teams giving a shit. I will watch tonight but I feel I should let it be known I want all 44 starters to get run over by a bus before kickoff and ESPN show a rerun of some shitty soccer friendly.

Gratliff

Even if my Eagles lose tonight, at least I still have the new office New Day t-shirt design to look upon and be inspired by.
http://demandware.edgesuite.net/aaiw_prd/on/demandware.static/-/Sites-main/default/dw13751e24/images/large/W10497.jpg

King Hippo

God help me Scotchy, I’m gonna have to start your defense going forward. Not looking forward to this, but the Titans flunked their Ravens-replacement dress rehearsal.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

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