Atl @ Ten: Looks like Jason McCourty will be the latest CB to bathe in the awesomeness that is Julio. This six point thread seems out of whack. If I had a gambling problem I’d be all over this. The Titans are playing the last of 4 straight games at home and will likely have no wins to show for it. Mariota has missed a few practices so you know what that means-“It’s Somethingberger Time!” He brings the classic “big arm” and a gaudy 0-6 record to the field.

TB @ Was: Hardcore Fans Only! should be posted somewhere. Winston has the highest pick percentage this year. Kirk Cousins replies, “Oh Yeah? If you start from the beginning of last year, I  have the highest pick percentage in the league.” Guys, guys-don’t fight, just try to play well. You can do that can’t you? RB Morris has been given the bum’s rush. The Pro Bowler, after running 25 times for 125 yds in the opener has seen his carries go 18, 6, 17, 8 and 11. Jones looks impressive when he does play but even RB3 Thompson is running the ball here and there. Gruden has no faith in the run game and a pick-friendly QB. Let the search for the next HC commence!

NO @ Ind: The line is 4.5 here. Neither of these D’s can stop dragging their fans’ hearts around, let alone opposing D’s. Will He Sneeze is the Saints WR with the most receiving yards with 436. You would think that at some point Luck is going to turn things around. That’s what my ever-lovin’ fantasy brain repeats to me ad nauseam anyway. But Luck is inside and at home against a below-average D. The stars are aligning, buddy boy.

Min @ Det: Peterson has been down-graded to questionable due to illness but I’m sure the team MD’s will fill him with enough ‘vitamins’ to ensure he’s a go.  Minny has only reached the red zone 17 times this year. Luckily for them the D is crushing it and opposing O’s. They’ve given up more than 20 points only once this year. Stafford’s doughy arm has thrown for 1600 + yds to date. Perhaps always playing from behind has something to do with him dropping back to pass 73% of the time. I don’t know-I’m not an expert.

Pit @ KC: Ben’s out unless he can ‘talk the team into playing him’ which sounds plain stupid until you discover that he’s done it before which sounds doubly stupid. Steelers D is looking okay these days-they would seem to be up to the task of stuffing West/Davis today. Pearl-clutching was the proper response to JC going down but what about Maclin’s concussed bean? Smith’s completion % to Maclin was 70 and good for an average of almost 10 yds. Spaghetti Arm’s percentage drops to 50 when he targets all other WR’s. That’s one hell of a safety valve to be without. Steelers win big.

Cle @ StL: The Browns have given up 16 sacks in the last 4 games and Saint Loo has the third most sacks in the league. Say a prayer for McCown, he won’t be with us much longer. Mr. Gurley has put up 146 and 159 the last two weeks on the road. I wonder how he might do against the 22nd-ranked rushing D at home? This game is over at approx. 1:07pm.

Hou @ Mia: The Texans have no issues in the passing game which is unusual given the fact that they’ve boounced back and forth between Hoyermallet and Mallethoyer. They’re 3rd in the league in total yards and going up against the 4th stingiest passing D. The Dolph’s are 25th in passing and even worse (30th) running the ball. I’m not putting it on Tannehill though. He has made significant progress every year since 2012 in yds thrown, completion % and interception %. So I’ll be looking elsewhere. I’ll let you know when I find it.

NYJ @ NE: We are all Jets fans today, aren’t we? I actually belong to a rather large subset labeled “Jets fan actively cheering for a Brady injury”. I’ll probably feel bad for a minute or two if it happened, thinking that by rooting for it I made it come true. But then I’d come back to reality as Garoppolo(?) comes in and leads the Pats to a come-from-behind win and I try to find a cat to kick. God, even my worst-case Pats scenarios turn into best-case Pats scenarios.