We’re more than half way through the regular season. I’ve had a great time so far-oh, if my bottles of scotch could talk…they probably wouldn’t slur their words like I do. Moving on-
GB @ Car: Rodgers is sacked/pressured almost 40% of the time he drops back to pass and he faces another quality D that can really bring it. Lacy needs to stop with the donuts and start with the knockin’ defenders backwards. More good news for GB-starting CB’s Shields and Rollins are doubtful for the game. 7-0 Carolina is an underdog at home. This is only the second time since 1990 that has occurred. The Panthers are hoping that a potential win has nothing to do with WR Ginn, otherwise it will slip through their fingers.
Was @ NE: WE ARE ALL [INSERT TEAM HERE] FANS TODAY goes the refrain whenever someone plays the Pats. Actually, the Slurs don’t stand a damn chance and I’m not going to waste my time bothering to side with them. 20 TD’s and 1 Intercept-Br*dy’s playing at a ridiculous level. I hope he gets leveled.
Ten @ NO: Somethingberger goes back to the bench ’cause Mariota is able to play this week. Will Mularkey have the same effect on the Titans as Campbell had on the Fins? We’ll find out real quick. We’ll also find out what happens when a soft, squishy object collides with a vulnerable not-force. That would be a Titans WR group of draft bust Hunter, nobody Green-Beckham, lousy as hell Douglas and practice squadder Richardson clashing with a colander disguised as a Rob Ryan-led Saints secondary. Watson? Snead? Who are these people and what has Brees done with them? Well, made them relevant for one thing. That should continue as Titans CB’s McCourty and Wreh-Wilson aren’t likely to play.
Mia @ Buf: With DE Wake gone Miami’s sack rate drops from 7% down to 1.8%. The good news is that Bills QB Taylor gets sacked at the 5th highest rate of all players at his position. To no one’s surprise Harvin has gone over to the IR. Actually, that hip injury that he’s been dealing with for a few years now is a bit troubling. It sounds like a chronic condition and I’ll bet he’ll have mobility issues even earlier than the average retired football player. LB Brown and DE Dareus have been vocal in their criticism of Ryan’s “complicated” D packages. Given the talent on this D there’s no excuse for these guys not being a top 8 unit.
StL @ Min: Gurley is averaging 115 yds. per game but he’ll struggle to reach that in this game unless he breaks a long one. Hats off to Gregg Williams (?) of all people for making the Saint Looey D the 5th ranked in the league. I very much like the way these teams match up-they’re the 1st and 4th ranked red zone D’s, have strong running games and middling QB’s that will be running for their lives all afternoon. Sounds like a raucous, hard-hitting, low-scoring affair-just like a night on the town with Greg Hardy. Football Outsiders ranks Minny’s first seven games of the season as the easiest in the NFL. The kicker? They rate the Vikes remaining sked as the toughest.
Jax @ NYJ: One of these two teams leads the league defensively in fewest yards per rush and it isn’t the Jets. That’s right, the Jags did a good. Bortles still hasn’t won a road game in his career and it’s not likely to happen today but he has improved his QBR rating by 21 points on enemy fields. Progress! (is slow) Speaking of highly-ranked D’s the Jets come in at #2 overall. Revis will take WR Robinson out of the game so Hurns should get him some. At least that’s what my fantasy brain is telling me. Of course a Jets blog says they have no one to cover TE Thomas so I’m sure he’ll steal all the points.
Oak @ Pit: The Raiders have a winning record against only one team over the last ten years. Guess who they’re 4-1 against? Go ahead, I’ll wait. Good on you QB Carr-he’s improved his QBR from 28th (38.2) last year to 11th (65.8) this year. I don’t think anyone outside his mom and dad could have seen that coming. The Steel Sieve is 26th against the pass so WR’s Cooper and Crabtree have some easy catchin’ to do. The Steelers defensive captain Heyward will play Sunday despite seeing the birth of his first-born yesterday. Gotta hand it to him for going back out there so soon after seeing the old placenta plop onto the floor of the delivery room. (that sorta stuff stays with you, man) Beware WR Brown now that Ben is back. It’s just a matter of time before the both of them go off big time.
Washington: “nothing’s worked for us so far, let’s make even WORSE decisions now.”
Never settle for mediocre.
I would say it’s nice that Ivory’s getting yards after contact, but that contact is 3 yards behind the line.
DOUBLERAWJAHSDOWN
RODGERS ON RODGERS VIOLENCE
Rodgers^2 down!
Damn. That was predictable, and the Panthers were on it, but dude caught it.
I bet Lacy woulda made that TD if there was a bearclaw in the endzone.
If the Cards and Vikings each won at least 10 games, would anyone notice?
who?
Bortleception!
Are you fucking kidding, Slurs?! 12 men on the field and you still allow a rushing TD right up the fucking middle. Christ I hate New England.
I’m not certain they even touched him.
Fucking skins have 12 men and they still cannot stop a fucking running play…
Fucking shirts are a loaded team though.
The Washingtons: not good at the footballing.
Washington’s “no touching” defense is met with predictable results.
The Ol’ Bluth run defense.
Not too late to forfeit, Jay.
5 games to choose from on various channels. It’s almost confusing.
Why does the Canada has better NFL teevee than Murka?
SWITCHDOWN
I would like the collective opinion of the commentariate.
That Black Friday crap…I feel that if you participate, you should lose access to your children and a vehicle.
Are my views to extreme?
Not extreme enough.
it’s a good way to get the non-footbaw watching relatives out of the house ,, ppl forget that
Black Friday I understand because it’s so ingrained in our culture. If go shopping at a place open on Thanksgiving, you’re a monster.
Fuck I struggle to think of an industry in more of a need for a national union that retail workers.
Its fucking insane the hours, the stress, and the shit pay. And now fuckers want them to work on National Holidays..
DiggsDOWN pretty PLEAZ
Did they just use the sad Fox injury piano because the [*Redacted] s are being murdered?
Why do the Packers STILL need a slow white fullback?
It’s in the team’s charter.
He’s the placeholder until they can steal away John Kuhn.
All the fans already have Aaron Rodgers’ jerseys.
Luke is everything you want in a LB-he’s tough, fast, uh, WHITE.
HOW WHITE IS HE?
Really knows how to keep the rest of the D in line if’n you know what I mean. – J. Richardson
Thank god for Josh Norman, or this game just be one long Keukly cam
I wonder if Mark Davis gifts fanny packs to people?
The Washingtons are the asshole of the universe.
Not true, assholes at least have a function.
Pierre continuing the time honored French tradition of immediate surrender (of the ball).
[*Redacted] s: Ball? We dont want this. YOU take it!
They are implementing the new “Hot Potato” offensive strategy.
Jesus the Skins are fucking terrible…
Oh for fuck’s sake Slurs.
Who saw that coming? Come on, not all at once.
Deckerdown!
Whooop!
All he does is…you know.
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ BOYS?
Personally, I’m in the middle somewhere. Pats are already sticking it to the R******s, but I can’t drink yet because some bullshit “family dinner” nonsense later today.
How long does it take disownment papers certified?
Also, I just fired up RedZone to see Jewkah fucking me over once again. God dammit, karma.
Just say you have PORN.
You’re going to a family dinner sober?
That fumble is God’s revenge for that onside kick.
[*Redacted] s are still going to have their asses ripped open wider than goatse, but a man has to have some little shred of hope.
Fumbleman!
Washington Generals>Washington [*Redacted] s.
They have just resigned from being the Globetrotters perennial embarrassed opponent. The Lakers and Sixers have interest in taking their spot.
EDELFUMBLE
Edelfumble!
Holy FUCKBALLS the Washingtons
Belijerk is going to go full troll and set fire to the visitor locker room at half time.
Think blankets.
Patriots have a rich cultural history of sharing blankets with…. Washington.
McCoy!
Foles is terrible.
Aaron Rodgers:
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1264765/looney-tunes-dancing-o.gif
Holy shit. Was that Blake & Murphy’s theme in Carolina?
Safety by Lolphins.
Flag… picked up? Woo!
I was going to go out for these games, but got distracted by the ceiling fan situation. I should probably stay in and have a martini or 5. Brb with gin.
Big props for making a proper martini.
DERP-PHINS LIVE
RZ ticker spells it “Cincinatti.”
welp
Fuck you Samsong! I’ve seen teenagers with better taste in music than you.
Stacked Carr/CrabtreeDOWN WOO!!!
http://41.media.tumblr.com/364d5a5a9d54e8e243f56f9291541ddf/tumblr_nw1dp9gc2f1s71q1zo1_1280.png
So Oakland is…good? I mean, it’s a little late in the season for them to stop over-achieving.