Yesterday, I walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer seasoned with chocolate, basil, and lobster. It’s important to me that I record this event so that if either I or the American craft beer industry as a whole are ever charged with a serious crime, we will each have an airtight defense of insanity. And hey, it was good, all right? It was fine. It was ridiculous, but it was good. And of course, as with just about all the weirdest beers in America, the lunatics at Dogfish Head Brewing Company of Milton, Delaware were responsible.

Back when I used to homebrew more regularly than I do now—okay, okay, back during that eight months when I made the only three batches I’ve ever made—my friends used to try to suggest weird stuff for me to put into a beer, and my answer was always the same. Melon? Dogfish did it. Tomatoes? Dogfish did it. Entire loaves of bread, for Christ’s sake? Dogfish did it. That’s Dogfish Head: The Simpsons of weird beer. No one throws more stuff you’d never expect, and in some cases have never heard of, into their beer, and this approach has produced a lot of complete goddamned messes. It’s also produced some works of absolute genius, like their Miles Davis tribute Bitches Brew (with honey and gesho root), or the massive brown ale Palo Santo Marron (aged in palo santo wood tanks the size of, like, the entire Delaware).

Dogfish Head Higher Math is the adventurous brewery’s 20th anniversary beer, an intimidating 17-percenter flavored with cocoa nibs and sour cherry juice, which for Dogfish Head is a remarkably modest list of additives. The label will tell you this is, at base, a Belgian strong golden ale, but it pours more red than gold with a very thin white head that quickly fades into near-nonexistence. That second bit is to be expected; this is a strong beer, and a beer with fruit juice added, and these are not favorable conditions for head formation. The nose is spicy—sorry, check that. That’s not spice, that’s ethanol, and lots of it. I can’t emphasize enough: This as strong as three ordinary beers. It’s boozy as hell. Don’t buttchug it. It’d be like shitting hot wings in reverse. There’s cherry here too, but the combination thankfully doesn’t come off like cough syrup. The flavor’s something else entirely. When you smell this beer, you barely get any chocolate, but the taste is all chocolate all the time. This is a big, sweet and hearty beer that does a surprising job of hiding all that alcohol in a big ball of chocolate and cherries and malt. Of course, hiding a thing doesn’t mean it’s not still there; I was feeling pretty good by the time I finished my ten ounces. This beer really impressed me overall. The ingredients they chose work together and with the base beer brilliantly to produce a rich, luxurious beer that’s perfect for sipping slowly on a cool late autumn day.

lady snow says: It’s kind of a bit nutty, on the first sip. Like peanut butter, maybe, but not salty. And then there’s that burn on the finish. Not a bad burn, but it’s still warming my throat.

make it snow says: Do you want to say anything that doesn’t make this sound like a huge pile of innuendos?

lady snow says: No.

Grade: Better than cough syrup. Even better than the Canadian cough syrup, the stuff with codeine in it.

make it snow is an alot of beer. He drank ten ounces from a twelve-ounce bottle of Higher Math for this review; lady snow drank the other two ounces because she had work to do. He thinks Northwestern is looking pretty good right now!

Featured image credit: twitter.com/dogfishbeer