Your Late Afternoon Games Open Thread

Den @ SD: QB Osweiler has won his first two starts (tries to beat pundits to the punch) thanks to the extraordinary coaching he’s getting from The Peyton. The Chargers beat the Jags last week to halt a six game skid. Now they’re up against Denver and it’s time to embrace another L. Perhaps the Bolts fan site that I visited should take a cue from a Niners site-start examining the teams that are jockeying for the #1 pick in the 2016 draft and see which player they should covet.

KC @ Oak: The Chiefs are nothing if not inconsistently consistent. A five game losing streak has been followed by a five game win streak. During the W run QB Spaghetti Arm has the highest QBR rating. (103) Take that, all you rifle-armed bastards! Of course he’s only thrown 6 TD’s in that time but you can’t have everything, can you? There’s good news for Oakland-the Chiefs leading sack-meister has been ruled out and Berry, Halia and Bailey are all beaten up. The Raiders squeaked by the lousy Titans last week. This young (Woodson is excluded of course) team is still learning all about that whole “consistency” thing.

Car @ NO: As far as up-and-coming stars are concerned you could do worse than dialing in on CB Josh Norman battling with WR Cooks. As for the Panthers WR’s they can’t wait to be matched up on Saints CB Browner, PFF’s worst-ranked at his position. Under HC Payton the Saints have never been a 7 point dog at home. That speaks well of the job he has done and the perceived advantage that NO has at home.

Phi @ NE: RB Murray gets the start because Matthews is out. [peruses a number of Eagles-related sites] There’s not a lot to like about Philly right now. The D has collapsed and the O is stuck in neutral. It would seem as though HC Kelly has lost the team and is playing out the string. The Gronk is out so TE Chandler becomes a nice play at that spot. Despite being banged up everywhere I doubt the Pats will have much trouble dispatching the Eagles.

 

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King Hippo

Hee hee. Melvin is such a…melvin.

Old School Zero

moar like MERKIN gordon amirite

King Hippo

Come on Denver, MOAR defensive TDs.

Old School Zero

My FF team has both Rivers and Denver D, so I really don’t care who Marmalard throws his TDs to.

Spanky Datass

That’s a beaut!

Spur

Booing a tie? Fair weather Boston fans

Sill Bimmons

See, that’s weird that they’re like that because the weather in Boston sucks,

King Hippo

EVERYTHING in Bahstahn sucks!

Spur
Romonobyl

My Gramma was hawt!

Moonbatting Average

Why does all the cool shit happen when I’m out in the garage organizing?

King Hippo

This has been a pretty glorious day if one largely doesn;t care about the outcomes.

Sill Bimmons

Your football self must hate you for not doing it yesterday.

Spur

I had yard work all morning. Am getting rid of those mulberry trees. All hail our conifers overlords.

Sharkbait

Do. Not. Want

Old School Zero

Do. Want.

Sill Bimmons

Not. Sure.

Spanky Datass

Under. Consideration.

Romonobyl

Left. Arm. Getting. Numb.

Redshirt

Ask. Again. Later.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Macklemore remembers when the KingDome was a stadium and not a sex act performed while wearing a crown.

Doktor Zymm

Giants lose, Eagles gonna lose, Cowboys have no Romo. The Skins are gonna win the division and lose to the Seahawks in the wild card round. I have foreseen it, and rue it in advance.

Old School Zero

you’re the doktor, you know best.

John Difool

YEP

Romonobyl

And Lo, it is written.

Spanky Datass

/pulls can out of trash
//kicks can woefully
*sigh*

Doktor Zymm

Race to the bottom my friend. I don’t like it any more than you do.

The Maestro

FUCK YOU EAGLES YOU PIECES OF SHIT

Sill Bimmons

That guy just said “speed penetrator” twice.

King Hippo

Shades of Sparty in Ann Arbor!

John Difool
Redshirt

Did I just miss a two-point defensive conversion?

Romonobyl

In a round-about way.

Redshirt

Oh, good. I saw it. Thanks CBS.

Sill Bimmons

KICKING IS SO EASY YOU GUYS

litre_cola

YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH IGGGGLLEEESSS

Splooge

Redshirt

That’ll do, Eagles. That’ll do.

John Difool

HOLY FOOK, THAT JUST HAPPENED

Col. Duke LaCross

Is that a rouge?

King Hippo

I’m calling it that, even if it’s 2 points.

Romonobyl

Massive extra point derp for teh safety!

Sill Bimmons

SAFETY DANCE

litre_cola

We now have seen that.

Redshirt

All right, I just had an authentically made tomale for the first time. How screwed is my digestive system?

Romonobyl

I developed my digestive immunity early, real tamales are my favorite thing to unwrap for Christmas.

King Hippo

NICE!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I asked my barber on Church and Wellesley to give me a Macklemore, so he yammered on about social justice for 10 minutes and had his assistant do the cut anyway.

Spur

Mr. Perfect or Ravishing Rick Rude?

Old School Zero

BOTH

Romonobyl

All CAR/NO needs is the Seven Nation Army chant and the circle will be complete.

JustStopDude

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JustStopDude

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Old School Zero

NO

JustStopDude

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King Hippo

Are you auditioning for Fek’s stand-in??

King Hippo

You know what Stewart? I like you…

Sill Bimmons

Psssssssst…FOX announcers…Chip Kelly is an idiot.

King Hippo

Yup. Occam’s Razor FTW

Spur
Romonobyl

Man I hope the Eagles pull this one off…

/runs to toilet and projectile vomits.

John Difool

Me too *runs to shower*

http://i.imgur.com/EnnsdD5.gif

Doktor Zymm

I agree. With the vomit and all.

Spur

Am rooting for a tie.

Spanky Datass

It’s the perfect meteor game!

Spur

I don’t envy those Saints players that have to tackle Tolbert.

fleshwound_NPG

Officials want someone in DEN/SD to die.

King Hippo

Brock’s 2-minute drill skills are a wee bit lacking.

Sill Bimmons

weddle you idiot

Old School Zero

dude wants out so bad; he doesn’t give one shit.

Sill Bimmons

cant say i blame him

Old School Zero

Yeah, same. I would prefer he remain healthy above anything else, and there’s no sense trying to do to much with nothing on the line for the team.

So, did he leave an obvious paper trail which will allow the Feds to track him to his cabin in the woods.

Doktor Zymm

Who’s the guy with the gray rectangle on his butt? Is his butt so hot it needs to be censored?

Spur
The Maestro

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John Difool

THIS CAROLINA VS. NEW ORLEANS I CALL IT CHARLIE SHEEN HOUSE PARTY ‘CAUSE THAT’S THE LAST TIME I SAW BALLS GET SO LOOSE

JustStopDude
JustStopDude
Sill Bimmons
JustStopDude

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Spur

Hey Guys and Gals!

What I miss?

Sill Bimmons

Early games were interesting.

Late games not so much.

King Hippo

All the Giants fans are dead, all the Jets fans are like, REALLY confused.

Sill Bimmons

Mr. Pibb or Dr. Pepper?

King Hippo

Lil’ Sweet will CUT A BITCH

Spur

Dr. Pepper. Is that really your question?

Sill Bimmons

Yes. Yes it is.

Romonobyl

Mr. Pibb must be a northern thing. I remember it when I lived in Illinois, don’t see it much down here in Jerrel-Country.

Spanky Datass

Dr. Thunder?

Spur

What movies is he in?

Sill Bimmons

Sausage pizza delivery movies.

Spanky Datass

With a free 2 liter!

King Hippo

Huzzah, CrabtreeDOWN!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I really like Amanda Tapping

Romonobyl

This is the sound of one hand fapping.

Sill Bimmons

These games are a lot stupider than the early games.

Romonobyl

They almost broke Newton.

Spanky Datass
The Maestro

Hey, Methuselah just got another INT for Oakland!

King Hippo

THAT is the Kelce I benched last fucking week

JustStopDude

Did anyone see the Giants post game press conference? Apparently JPP exasperated his hand injury so they are going to make that club on his hand slightly more protective.

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blackroseMD1

Donald Brown did a good thing? *checks soup for hallucinogenics*

King Hippo

PeyPey, at home: “Goddamnit, Donald”

King Hippo

scotchy – I can do SNF lead-in for ya

King Hippo

oh wait just saw your comment – never mind!

The Maestro

he says it’s covered now