Are you ready for some glorified exhibition university footy?

It could be better. It should be better. We are in the semifinal round of the 1-AA tournament, and there’s no valid reason why we can’t do a 16-team 1-A version, too. For the record, I think this will happen in the next 10-15, and that we will skip the interim 8-team half-measure. Here’s a link for the proposal I originally made at an NC State blog many moons ago. Basically, you use an algorithm (or even a Condi committee) to rank the teams, 1-16. Power conference champions get a bid, non-power conference champs get a bid ONLY if they are in Top 20 or Top 25 (open for debate on the cutoff). First two rounds are at home field of the higher ranked team, semifinals and finals at neutral sites.

This weekend, you’d have:

#16 Oklahoma State at #1 Alabama
#9 Michigan State at #8 Notre Dame

#15 Michigan at #2 Oklahoma
#10 Ole Miss at #7 TCU

#14 Southern Cal at #3 Clemson
#11 Baylor at #6 Florida State

#13 Iowa at #4 Ohio State
#12 U*NC at #5 Stanford

Compare and contrast that weekend of sports to what you actually get below:

New Mexico Bowl – Arizona vs. New Mexico (2:00, ESPN)

Is it unfair to have to play a team that is like, named in the fucking bowl? Or will they be all like “meh, we didn’t even get to go noplace?” Who the fuck knows? I know nothing about either of these teams footy ability, let alone their psyches.

Las Vegas Bowl – Utah vs. BYU (3:30, ABC)

NOW we are gettin’ somewhere – Team Secular Big Love vs. the REAL FUCKING THING. Or as they said in the HBO series that spawned said moniker, “the U” vs. “the Y.” Yes, Utah is a very beautiful but very weird fucking state. Should be a very intense, polite hatred-filled clash.

Camellia Bowl – Ohio vs. Appalachain State (5:30, ESPN)

Yeah, that’s apparently how you spell it. I checked like three times to be sure. Still looks weird. I can add a bit of local color, in that everybody refers to the students as “Happy Appies” because they are always stoned. Boone, NC is a delightful place, highly recommended.

Cure Bowl – San Jose State vs. Georgia State (7:00, CBSSN)

I don’t think their combined 11-13 record is curing anything that ails the world, so I assume this game’s title is dedicated to goth teens cutting themselves to “Charlotte Sometimes.”

New Orleans Bowl – Arkansas State vs. Louisiana Tech (9:00, ESPN)

You’ve really gotta be tweaking hard to stay up late for this one. But hey, it’s on if’n you are. ESPN’s got your back, methheads of America. FUCK YEAH!!!

* In case you didn’t read my linked proposal, I don’t get rid of the bowls. They can survive as they are now, midweek fodder for cheap TV programming. But they shouldn’t be weekend material, and there’s no reason they should be the post-season “reward” for actual, good teams.

We went backwards this week, but I didn’t forget about the EPL. Leicester did their thing again, kicking Chelski in the nuts on MNF, and staying on top of the table, 2 points clear of Arsenal. This was the final straw for the “Special One” as he received a Special Pink Slip as a Special Parting Gift.

This week, Leicester head to Goodison to take on my Toffees, who annoyingly threw away yet another two points last weekend (Saturday, 10:00 EST, Extra Time). Everton are floundering in 10th, and any chance at European qualification (outside of winning a Cup) looks pretty dire. A win over Foxy Footy would be a nice shot in the arm, however unlikely that seems.

The only other good match of the day is ALSO only on Extra Time, also at 10 – 12th position Southampton against 5th place Spurs. For some reason, all the featured matches involve bottom feeders. Shame on you, NBC. You are usually better than that.

Sunday morning brings a fairly interesting matchup from the upper middle class, 7th place Watford (25 points) against the 9th place Shite (24 points), 8:30 on NBCSN. But the real match of the week is English MNF, #2 Arsenal and #3 City, 3:00pm on NBCSN. In the unlikely event of an Everton win, the winner would ascend to 1st, but no matter what, this will have huge stakes and both teams will be out for blood. Definitely worth your time, or at least your DVR space.