It’s Here! It’s Here! Your Very First DFO Playoff Game Open Thread

A cynic (myself) might say that this game doesn’t look very good but we’re in “PLAYOFF MODE” now. LOSER GOES HOME…JUST LIKE THE WINNER! Okay, I’m sure you know what I mean because we all type English here. We’ve endured some weird crap over the course of the season and now it’s win or you’re gone time.

KC @ HOU: Does anyone remember the 1-5 Chiefs? They were without not only hope but also J.C. and were looking at the likes of Spencer “Who?” Ware and Charcandrick “Huh?” West to right the ship running game-wise. And umm, WOW! they did it. That actually happened. The even more surprising occurrence was the transformation of QB Smith from a “Spaghetti-Armed Game Manager” into a “Spaghetti-Armed Slight Difference-Maker”! Wonders will simply not cease to exist no matter how much I want them to… This has to be HC Reid’s best coaching job, don’t you think? Speaking of thinking, methinks the only way for the Texans to get out of this with a win is for their two most dominant players to go nuts, right? If DE Watt collapses his side of the line on an on-going basis and WR Hopkins catches 12+ balls things have a chance of going Houston’s way. If either becomes a non-factor the odds of a W drop to very close to nil. DE Clowney was held out of practice, was in on Thursday and was out again on Friday. He and his willingness to play hard on every down are listed as questionable.

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King Hippo

and they say QB play is down across the NFL smgdh

fleshwound_NPG

my idea of posting lily pics looking like it will be the only entertainment this afternoon

http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/6924493/600full-milana-vayntrub.jpg

Spur

comment image

Bortleback

At this rate the receivers will be the leading tacklers on both teams

Doktor Zymm

This game. SMGFDH

entropy

Great, the OTHER raging asshole on the Who’s gets the Smithception.

Sill Bimmons

ALL THE HERPITY DERPITYS

WCS

ALL THE INTERCEPTIONS

ThursdaySkyGoddess

BWAHAHAHAHA!!! TINYHANDSCEPTION!!!!

Gratliff

New Orleans at Seattle, this is not.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought backbreaking interceptions were a Cowboys thing.

entropy

Can it be backbreaking in the first quarter?

Sill Bimmons

The Who?’s would have a better chance with Joseph Smith at QB.

fleshwound_NPG

Pats assistants + Browns QB = how da fuq did they get to playing in January

entropy

Hoyerception.

Can’t even get excited about it.

Recovery Whiskey

Hoyerception

ThursdaySkyGoddess

HOYERCEPTION!!!!!!!!!!!

WCS

HOYERCOUNTRY

Doktor Zymm
Gratliff

God damn, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the Zero Wing opening.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought Martyball was a Chiefs thing.

fleshwound_NPG

ima just post randomly Lily pics today, how bout it

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-63917-Milana-Vayntrub-smile-eyebrows-G3k2.gif

entropy

I endorse this plan.

Sill Bimmons

Uhhh…OK.

Spur

Can I help?

Recovery Whiskey

YAY LOVE

Spur

I bet Vince Wilfork’s head weighs more than most American children

fleshwound_NPG

Ah, the Derp Bowl…

Doktor Zymm

I mean…I guess all the commercials give me ample time to put away the leftover Chinese food and refill my drink? I’m gonna have to drink faster if I’m gonna be refilling my drink every commercial though.

Sill Bimmons

A Yard Away: The Alex Smith Story.

Thursday at 8PM on Lifetime.

entropy

I immediately picture a story about a young, tiny-handed football player being savagely beaten as all his neighbors ignore it, giving each other embarrassed looks at all the neighborhood cookouts.

ballsofsteelandfury

Alex Smith OVERTHREW someone? Well, I’ll be…

fleshwound_NPG

Alex…Smith…long…pass…?!?!?!

...

Alex Smith overthrew a deep ball.

ALEX SMITH OVERTHREW A DEEP BALL.

😮

Recovery Whiskey

Gotta make that throw

Doktor Zymm

Damn, that woulda been neato

entropy

PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS DOWN JJ YOU HAD NOTHING TI DO WITH THAT SACK

Spur

Who is this JJ Watt they keep talking about?

Recovery Whiskey

Is my TV distorting? It looks like Kool-Aid man lost weight.

entropy

It’s a little early in the playoffs for the “tackled after a gain” unnecessary defensive celebration.

Recovery Whiskey

Alex Smith: The Checkdownening

...

It’s a shame most of you hate baseball, because if you hate the St. Louis Cardinals, today is a banner day for schadenfreude.

Sill Bimmons

What happened?

...

Their employee who hacked the Astros’ system pleaded guilty. Plus, it turns out he took a lot of information and wasn’t just poking around for “stolen” info. The BFIB are in total denial that this is even a scandal even though federal law was broken. Their slow unraveling is amazing.

Sill Bimmons

JOY

Recovery Whiskey

So, Nittany-like denial but with fewer raped boys that we know of.

...

This is more apt than I would have thought it would be.

entropy

What happened? I’m too lazy to look it up.

Doktor Zymm

DONNNN’TTT CAAAARRE

WCS

Care to elaborate?

fleshwound_NPG

You do not need to be a fan of the based-ball to loathe the Cardinals.

Recovery Whiskey

The Cardinal Way … To steal opponents data

entropy

So are they the C*rdinals now?

...

They’re all the haughtiness and evilness of the Patriots but with Midwestern faux-humility.

nomonkeyfun

Did the Mets get Larry Walker for a bucket of bolts?

Spur

First commercial break… I miss RedZone already.

Recovery Whiskey

Cyril from Archer makes such a good cardboard box

litre_cola

I just took a shower before I go bartend and cam out and asked Mrs. Cola what happened. “Well the Texans clearly didn’t tackle anybody.” The rolled her eyes.

/this is why I proposed

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a keeper right there.

Doktor Zymm

UNIFORM VIOLATION ALEX SMITH IS WEARING PINK ACCENT CLEATS AND IT IS NOT OCTOBER!!

King Hippo

Good thing none of this is real, amirite?

Doktor Zymm

Everyone who bet on the Chiefs is probably feeling pretty damn good right now.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I know he never won the Super Bowl, but do Eagles fans miss Andy Reid?

WCS

There is a small rekindling or revision of his history.

litre_cola

I do. He was the best of what we had.

Ray Rhodes
Buddy Ryan
aaaannnddd Richie Kotite

...

I genuinely know Rich Kotite only as a football coach punchline.

Sill Bimmons

Those special teams weren’t very special.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hoyer pick-6 would be so delicious right now.

Doktor Zymm

Texans Special Teams proving the contention that they don’t exist

Thrillhouse

How the fuck ya doin’ boys? It’s been a long time since I’ve rivebrogged, good to be back.

fleshwound_NPG

Ah, the curse of mentioning your coach was a Pats assistant right before the kickoff…