It’s Here! It’s Here! Your Very First DFO Playoff Game Open Thread

A cynic (myself) might say that this game doesn’t look very good but we’re in “PLAYOFF MODE” now. LOSER GOES HOME…JUST LIKE THE WINNER! Okay, I’m sure you know what I mean because we all type English here. We’ve endured some weird crap over the course of the season and now it’s win or you’re gone time.

KC @ HOU: Does anyone remember the 1-5 Chiefs? They were without not only hope but also J.C. and were looking at the likes of Spencer “Who?” Ware and Charcandrick “Huh?” West to right the ship running game-wise. And umm, WOW! they did it. That actually happened. The even more surprising occurrence was the transformation of QB Smith from a “Spaghetti-Armed Game Manager” into a “Spaghetti-Armed Slight Difference-Maker”! Wonders will simply not cease to exist no matter how much I want them to… This has to be HC Reid’s best coaching job, don’t you think? Speaking of thinking, methinks the only way for the Texans to get out of this with a win is for their two most dominant players to go nuts, right? If DE Watt collapses his side of the line on an on-going basis and WR Hopkins catches 12+ balls things have a chance of going Houston’s way. If either becomes a non-factor the odds of a W drop to very close to nil. DE Clowney was held out of practice, was in on Thursday and was out again on Friday. He and his willingness to play hard on every down are listed as questionable.

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entropy

Ride Along II: like Bad Boys, only much, much worse!

Sill Bimmons

This is a horrible game being contested by awful teams.

King Hippo

worst thing is…one of these fuckwads will keep fuckwadding into next week

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You can definitely tell just by the gradual slide into insanity exhibited in the comments here.

Wakezilla

Hey now, KC looks like they could be dangerous next week. Maybe.

Doktor Zymm

A Dirty Shame is underrated IMO
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Col. Duke LaCross

Agreed. Time to get to sexin’!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The Texans can never finish a drive, enjoy a pic where Adrianne Palicki never finishes unbuttoning her shirt

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ballsofsteelandfury

Jill is retiring to run a swingers resort in the Caribbean.

entropy

And I am reminded the god damn Texans are in the playoffs, the Jets are not.

King Hippo

5 minute drive, don;t even get into FG range. HOYER COUNTRY!!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

That drive didn’t end in a Hoyer turnover, so… IMPROVEMENT!

Wakezilla

Hello, I’m here for the interceptions.

Doktor Zymm

ALERT ALERT, COVER THOSE DBS

entropy

May as well just keep this one in the chamber, got a feeling you can use it fairly often the rest of the half….

Doktor Zymm

I really want to have occasion to say this some time. Maybe I should go out to watch the late game!
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King Hippo

It’s ok, you can say it to us, we deserve it every bit as much as leering, creepy strangers

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You can scream it at the TV when THE BEN appears.

entropy

QUIT FUCKING AROUND AND THROW THAT FOURTH PICK, HOYER!!

Spur

Damn, Hoyer wanted the 4th interception real bad.

King Hippo

threw it RIGHT TO THE DEFENDER. Nobody else anywhere close

ballsofsteelandfury

DAMN YOU CHIEFS, WE ALMOST HAD WEEDON!

King Hippo

serious, I would have pulled him anyway, mid-drive

WCS

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo close

Doktor Zymm

Man, that was almost Hoyerception 74

ThursdaySkyGoddess

So close.

WCS

I owe you a beverage.

Bortleback

It’s telling that when Bill O’Brien talks about establishing the run game he says “we need to give our quarterbacks more time back there” – as if a merry go round of QBs is normal.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
ballsofsteelandfury

HOYER IS WASTING TIMEOUTS FOR WEEDON!

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A man of Weeden’s age can’t afford to take any time outs.

Spur

Did Hoyer get the starting job through Make a Wish?

WCS

It’s a good thing they made him the starting quarterback of a team that doesn’t exist.

Doktor Zymm
WCS

This took a disturbing direction…

Senor Weaselo

Aaaaand that almost got picked.

Doktor Zymm

Hoyer has gotta get it in before he can pull it out

WCS

Sex Cannon has no idea what you’re talking about.

King Hippo

when people argue that Marino was a better QB than Elway, I will now add “HE LOST 62-7 TO GODDAMN JACKSONVILLE IN THE PLAYOFFS” to my argument

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Elway was a worse Favre that only won his Superbowls because at the time a newish blocking scheme and a running back that was awesome while he played. I mean fuck Marino too.

Col. Duke LaCross

I like how subbing in Weeden is supposed to be a threat.

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Now there’s a threat: “If you keep fucking up, I’m putting in Weeden!”

ballsofsteelandfury

There is a Spanish soccer saying that goes, “El que perdona, pierde. ”

Which roughly means that if you don’t take advantage of scoring opportunities, you will lose.

What I’m saying is that we are two Weeden TDs from a Houston victory.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
entropy

Three bad interceptions, as opposed to three really good, helpful for your team interceptions, Jon?

hippofant

Well.. there are harmless interceptions, like on last-second hail maries or 4th down plays.

Doktor Zymm

Touchback.
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Brocky

Hey abc, maybe the Spanish commercial could show some Spanish speaking people actually enjoying football?

King Hippo

THANK FUCK they FINALLY talked about Watt, so tired of him hiding his light under a bushel ,, smh

Gratliff

Nothing sweet in the house but cool whip and fruit roll ups. I can probably make this work.

Brocky

Just hearing about fruit roll ups makes me want fruit roll ups

Doktor Zymm

Makeshift cannoli!

fleshwound_NPG

WEED

fleshwound_NPG

lily as the Houston coach after each Hoyerceptionturnoverkkake

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Doktor Zymm

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It’s the second half now, right?

http://i.imgur.com/nFMM4vW.gif

Spur

is Tom Coughlin really going to Philly? The guy is going to die on the sideline mid-game.

Doktor Zymm

This game is..
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entropy

I imagine the Spanish announcers for this game just sighing a lot, with the sound of tequila being poured liberally in the background,

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Another Minka to psych up the Texas team. I might have to go Adrianne Palicki in case they are Riggens fans (I will)

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/1151333/minka-kelly-1-o.gif

Bortleback

Make it so

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
fleshwound_NPG
Spur

Ditka was choking on his rage there

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