It’s Here! It’s Here! Your Very First DFO Playoff Game Open Thread

A cynic (myself) might say that this game doesn’t look very good but we’re in “PLAYOFF MODE” now. LOSER GOES HOME…JUST LIKE THE WINNER! Okay, I’m sure you know what I mean because we all type English here. We’ve endured some weird crap over the course of the season and now it’s win or you’re gone time.

KC @ HOU: Does anyone remember the 1-5 Chiefs? They were without not only hope but also J.C. and were looking at the likes of Spencer “Who?” Ware and Charcandrick “Huh?” West to right the ship running game-wise. And umm, WOW! they did it. That actually happened. The even more surprising occurrence was the transformation of QB Smith from a “Spaghetti-Armed Game Manager” into a “Spaghetti-Armed Slight Difference-Maker”! Wonders will simply not cease to exist no matter how much I want them to… This has to be HC Reid’s best coaching job, don’t you think? Speaking of thinking, methinks the only way for the Texans to get out of this with a win is for their two most dominant players to go nuts, right? If DE Watt collapses his side of the line on an on-going basis and WR Hopkins catches 12+ balls things have a chance of going Houston’s way. If either becomes a non-factor the odds of a W drop to very close to nil. DE Clowney was held out of practice, was in on Thursday and was out again on Friday. He and his willingness to play hard on every down are listed as questionable.

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tundrajim

SEC Scholar-Athlete means you attended all your classes on the first day.

Sill Bimmons

SOMEBODY DID A FOOTBALL THING

fleshwound_NPG

ALEX SMITH WR TOUCHDOWN INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD

[writes “game over” in notebook with dick]

[JJ Watt wishes he had my groin]

[that sounded bad]

[sorry not sorry]

Sill Bimmons

BLEERGH IS THE LIGHT BRINGER

John Difool

Welp, this one is over….

WCS

SMITHDOWN?! IN A PLAYOFF GAME??!

CTHULU IS NIGH!

ballsofsteelandfury

TO A WIDE RECEIVER?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
ThursdaySkyGoddess

Something happened down!

Spur

It’s like both offenses have erectile dysfunction

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Spur

Somehow this still relates to watt

entropy

Oh Jesus Christ not everything has to do with Watt, you asshole

...

Steve Smith: also distracting himself with boobs during this game:

https://twitter.com/89SteveSmith/status/685958374362640384?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

entropy

Kielce stopped dead at the line of scrimmage, and STILL picks up 6. Come on, Houston, get your shit together.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Zymm is a trooper for putting up with our pic spams, one more for her

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/13/13/enhanced/webdr04/anigif_enhanced-buzz-23430-1402681790-22.gif

Gratliff

Poor Maclin. He’s had a blown out ACL, and he had that one year where he had some weird Alien AIDS thing then got better.

Doktor Zymm

I do actually give a shit about Maclin being injured. I want any and every Ex-Eagle to succeed. Have a distraction, boys.
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King Hippo

think he needs a corpse part to replace his ACL. ouch

Now I just want Santos FGs for the DFO contest

Spur

Who’s letting Peyton Manning just hang with all those kids alone?

entropy

The United Way?

Doktor Zymm

I give less shits about JJ Watt being injured than shits that were eaten in Pink Flamingos.

John Difool

+10

fleshwound_NPG
ballsofsteelandfury

They’ll continue talking about Watt after he is out of the game, right?

entropy

“And that’s a 65 yard completion for Alex Smith, we now take you to JJ Watt’s reaction on the sideline.”

Gratliff

I hope you like endless close-ups of JJ’s Junk.

Wakezilla

As someone who had a 2nd degree groin sprain, I can tell you that you really, really shouldn’t be running around playing football with such an injury.

/strong taek

ThePirateSloth

Kick em when they’re up!
Kick em when they’re down!

entropy

“Let’s hope this isn’t serious?”

Fuck off, Gruden, I want this to be the first stage of necrotizing fasciitis eating away at JJ’s fuckin leg.

Gratliff

Oh my. He broke his balls.

John Difool

J.J. Watt on that last play: ” Muh Dick !”

Spur

When Ball so hard goes wrong.

entropy

“Ohana means family.”

Yeah, Marcus, we saw Lilo & Stitch, too,

fleshwound_NPG
Spur

Is this Free State movie a Civil War movie or is it some porn for the militia movements?

Wakezilla

Damn TV Timeout

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ballsofsteelandfury

Way better than the game

fleshwound_NPG

Watt’s dickmuscle not gritty enough

WCS

Chopped wood?

Spanky Datass

Gruden gleefully grinds groin of gritty gridiron’r.

Wakezilla

Dick muscle hurt AND his hand is hurt?
Sounds like Watt needs to ease up

Doktor Zymm

How fun would it be if this is a shutout?

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ballsofsteelandfury

I want it to end 13-0.

King Hippo

I like how JJ hurt his dick whiffing on Tiny Hands. Dumb, overrated piece of shit.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

If you were watching this in a vacuum, would you know it wasn’t a preseason game? I’m not sure Hoyer has met any of the rest of his teammates.

ballsofsteelandfury

In my head, it’s Thursday.

entropy

And the main reason Doopy isn’t playing is because he supposedly doesn’t know the playbook.

ballsofsteelandfury

Even though he led them to a win and looked good doing it.

King Hippo

very apt, fearless leader

entropy

JJ should probably chop a few cords of wood, work that cramp out of his knee.

FUCK YOU JJ I HOPE YOUR KNEE EXPLODES

Doktor Zymm

I’ll be nice to y’all men folks.
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ballsofsteelandfury

I think my head is literally smaller than one of those.

King Hippo

ouch, her lumbar region

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Doktor Zymm

Cheers! I like dem apples!

ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like Watt needs to go visit Peyton’s wife.

Sill Bimmons

HAIL BLEERGH

King Hippo

Our Lord was not amused.

Senor Weaselo

How did that become 1st and 4? You’re acknowledging the play happened so you can’t replay the down.

King Hippo

I liked it when black entertainment wasn’t just vanilla, schticky pablum with different colored actors.

Sill Bimmons

COME ON DOWN TO HOUSTON WHERE THE DERPAGE NEVER STOPS

entropy

Because it’s been over five minutes:

“JJ Watt.”

Senor Weaselo

That just happened. Even with the penalty. That happened.

Gratliff

Thank god for JJ Watt!

Spanky Datass

LOOGIT THEM TINY FEET CHURN!

Doktor Zymm

The refs should just let that go cause it’s AWESOME.

...

Haha… even Alex Smith can’t believe how far he ran there.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It really pisses me off that THIS is how KC is going to end its playoff drought.

WCS

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