The “Oh No, Katherine Webb Has to Wear a Parka” Late Playoff Game Open Thread

They’re predicting freezing rain for the annual Cincinnati first round disappointment this year, adding to the suspense.  How will it happen?  Will AJ McCarron throw a back-breaking interception?  Will Marvin Lewis waste his last challenge early?  Will Antonio Brown catch 25 passes?  Will THE BEN harf his way into the Divisional round?  As anyone who read the DFO -Money Comes In this week can attest, I only care about these outcomes for my one remaining fantasy team.  The Hank Scorpios need Antonio Brown and THE BEN to lay out a clobberin’ on the Ben-Gals.  Sorry, Vontaze Me Bro!

The fun starts at 7:15 DFO time on CBS, take it away boys!

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
DTZM escaped his dark timeline through a wormhole created by Lord Screech, after he destroyed Bayside for never allowing him to mate with Lisa Turtle. Zach now lives a quiet life in St. Louis with his wife, Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski. They have no children, but do have the world's cutest dogs.
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makeitsnowondem

So we’re having a football game then?

JustStopDude
Horatio Cornblower

“Pass interference on the defense, #20, please do not kill us when we leave the stadium tonight”

King Hippo

yeah, this entire game is a mockery at this point

Senor Weaselo

This could somehow become a game.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d vote Not Guilty on that one.

King Hippo

Again, machismo for the sake of showing your dick size – why is Tomlin exposing his QB like that? THE GAME IS OVER AND YOU KNOW TEMPERS ARE AT WASP NEST LEVEL.

Spur

Kill
comment image

fleshwound_NPG

And to think, we have likely-to-be-just-as-shitty games in Minny and Washington tomorrow!

Recovery Whiskey

Ice Bowl Baby

Kungjitsu

So the Pats get to waltz through Alex Checkdown and either Peyton Manning’s corpse or Byron Leftwich? to get to the Super Bowl?

Wakezilla

Alex Checkdown and the Chefs are going to be a tough out.

Fetus HGHead needs to go against Byron Leftwich. Otherwise, the ponies would be screwed

Kungjitsu

Jeremy Maclin is hurt.Tom Brady is not Brian Hoyer. The Pats are going to win 45-10. It’s going to be a photo negative of today’s Texans/Chefs game.

Horatio Cornblower

If I were in charge of the stadium announcements it would be “Even though the referees are a disgrace to everything that is good, and even though the Steelers are clearly getting away with near murder in an attempt to advance the narrative, and even though this is hardly the first time that the Steelers have done this to the Bengals, please do not throw things at the field. Unless you have a really good arm and a really hard object.”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I guess I am against you. Realize I don’t care and might turn off the game… and I am back on your side

Horatio Cornblower

It’s all good Marc. Both sides are basically sociopaths working for a disturbingly amoral group.

WCS

I’m trying to take all this in, post here, respond to texts… and the cat simply won’t leave me alone.

YOU’RE GOING TO PET ME NOW, FOODBRINGER. BOW TO ME.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

Fuck you! I won’t settle down. KILL!
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/2254596/tiger-jump-o.gif

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

One bad hit and one unfortunate hit kinda fucked the Steelers. I actually am gonna root for them for once

ballsofsteelandfury

I think Hippo and Moose just came. Landry Jones, baby!

King Hippo

This is now some through the looking glass shit.

Gratliff

Burfict is done giving a fuck

Wakezilla

I love how the only reason to watch this game is the potential for a brawl, which Jim has also acknowledged

Spur

Eye for an Eye?

Recovery Whiskey

Its the Cincinnati v Pittsburgh way

Senor Weaselo

You think Pacman gon injure? Nah, Pacman only gon injure dat puzzy. And then Pacman gon drank. Win or lose you think Pacman ain’t gon drank? Oh, he gon DRANK. Chuh chuh.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

There’s another quarter of this?

Senor Weaselo

There’s no way this game doesn’t end in benches clearing, right?

WCS

Oh boy…

Recovery Whiskey

Ben dislocated shoulder, to remain in game

Wakezilla

With all these challenges, how can you not challenge a helmet to helmet play? That’s nuts

Redshirt

The Jungle is about to go full Dawg Pound

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Damn.

JustStopDude

I think we are one or two calls away from recreating Bottlegate…

http://wfny.shoutitoutdesign.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/photo63-710×434.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

I picked the Steelers to win this game but my God I want to see the Bengals just go full fucking Terminator on the Steelers the rest of this game. Hit the refs, hit the coaches, hit the cheerleaders, cripple every fucking Pittsburgh player on the field and off it.

In a totally unrelated note I look forward to the NFL bending over backwards to explain how the referees “got it right” tomorrow.

Fuck the NFL.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Already did it tonight

Wakezilla

I can’t be the only one that thought that hit was worse than the one that got called, right?

makeitsnowondem

You’re definitely not.

Spur

Kill THE BEN, do it now it’s justifiable.

ballsofsteelandfury

ALL HAIL BLEERGH!

Sill Bimmons

DIE OFFICIAL SCUM DIE

tundrajim

If I’m Shazier, I wouldn’t be dancing after I almost nearly broke another dude’s neck.

Brick Meathook

THIS GAME MIGHT BECOME VERY INTERESTING

makeitsnowondem

what the shit is any of this

Sill Bimmons

JUST STOP IT YOU IDIOT

King Hippo

I’m now watching this game for the riot potential.

Seriously, Tomlin maybe should have let that go.

Spur

There is going to be a big ass brawl in this game. It is just a matter of time.

Sill Bimmons

This is all the referees’ fault.

If they’d gotten control of both sides in the first quarter when things first started to boil over none of this would be happening.

Horatio Cornblower

“Just an unfortunate hit”

And by that I mean totally illegal.

Horatio Cornblower

Where was the “football move” on that one? Turning around? Taking two steps? Because I saw Dez do both last year.

Fuck you Mike you NFL sybartic.

Wakezilla

Can you challenge helmet to helmet plays?

fleshwound_NPG

Bernard will now undergo NFL concussion protocol for the next two minutes, before returning.

hippofant

Oh, so it’s okay to completely fucking BLINDSIDE a guy with a helmet-to-helmet hit, IF he’s turning around Got’cha.

Brick Meathook

That was ugly.

Horatio Cornblower

OK Bengals, you’re going to lose this game. End Ben’s career. End Antonio Brown’s career. Kill Mike Tomlin.

And while you’re at it, kill that fucking piece of shit ref excuser who has never seen a bad no call in his life.

“Did you see that Mike”

“No. I am legally blind,”

makeitsnowondem

boncos agree

Wakezilla

Agreed. Big Ben’s head needs to be taken off clean

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The thing is, if he’s not a defenseless receiver, it’s a catch, if it’s a catch it’s a fumble.

makeitsnowondem

Steelers are going to get the touchdown too.

JustStopDude

So wait…since he was not a defenseless receiver…how the fuck is that not a fumble then?

None of these fucking rules make sense anymore…

Col. Duke LaCross

Helmet to fucking helmet Carey!

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