![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Why is it that QB Palmer can’t have nice things? He was imprisoned in Cincy then renaissance-ed in Arizony then season-injured. Now he’s having a career year and I can’t help but feel it will all come tumbling down. Was his dad a preacher in the Church of God With Signs Following? Is that why he’s snake-bitten? One thing though, the Pack better not blitz him much. Against pressure he has an 84 QBR, a 9.4 yds. per throw average and a 65% completion rate. What he also has over his entire career is not a one playoff victory. Zona LB Okafor is done for the season with some sort of toe injury that no one wants to talk about. No doubt it was fireworks. I’ve got a sixth sense about these things. RB Johnson was held in check the last time these teams met (wk. 16) but as my wife says, “you can’t hold a man-beast down for long”. I think she was yakking about one of her countless exes but what do I know? Stupid, ineffectual QB Rodgers has recently been replaced by superstar Rodgers-which one will show up today? Remember the 51-45 score-fest that happened a way back in ’09? I’d love to see that sort of game again. That particular game you had to race to the bathroom during ads to ensure that you didn’t miss a score. START TYPING YOU SCAMPS!
Your “Run, Olivia Munn-It’s A Trap!” NFC Division Semi-Final Open Thread
BLEERGH REIGNS SUPREME
Pointing? Really? If I can point at you while you run, that’s not taunting, that’s you sucking dick.
So amazing that these refs don’t even seem to know why they’re throwing a goddamned flag.
BLEERGH DEMANDS A SACRIFICE
OH ALL THE STUPID FUCKING THINGS OF ALL THE STUPID FUCKING THINGS
Bleergh loves offsetting penalties.
Discountdoubleception!
Bar conversation with my roommate:
Her: I need to move to the other side of you. That guy smells like an Avon catalog come to life and it’s awful.
Me: But then this old guy who loves Oregon will be your best friend.
Her: I don’t care. That guy smells like a gang of old church ladies.
I switched bar stools. Holy gotdamn fuck he smells of old man balls talcom powder.
And you know how that smells because????
I thought this was a safe space! Don’t judge me!
this is the second time we’ve discussed balls and talcum powder tonight
A subject that never tires.
Hail Bleergh
Look NBC, if you can’t actually use a true establishing show, just don’t bother.
Just got back from watching Star Wars. As I was watching I found it hilarious that John Boyega can excel in action, comedy, and drama, while hacks like Kevin Hart and Martin Lawrence can’t even do comedy.
The fact that any of us even know who Martin Lawrence is just sickens me. Christ, what a hack.
Great characters.
Crappy plot.
Go Episode VIII.
So…I haven’t been legitimately working for a year yet, and I like my job, but damn, I’m ready to retire. My reticence to join the workforce was entirely justified.
haven’t you learned to half-ass it yet? That’s your right as an American, damn it!
Honey, I quarter ass it. But it’s so time consuming…why do I have to be at a place at a time for a certain amount of time, even if I’m doing fuck all? I could do so much more.
working at home helps a lot on that front. but that comes with it’s own challenges and isn’t easy to set up (you also have to do it informally, because if it’s a formal arrangement, they will fuck you over).
Work sucks.
Owning your own company is far more rewarding.
Lets all start our own company… Commenterists Inc.
I actually did have a fantastic business idea the other day, but getting startup money together isn’t my bag.
The pressure of that isn’t my thing, either. I would never sleep at night.
It’s mine!
If you’re serious PDJ me.
Starting one and selling it, and living frugally, but not working, is the bestest.
Fuck work.
I like the work because it’s all for me.
The people I support are a nice bonus.
I understand. I was the same way.
Then one tried to fuck me over.
I hope he’s living under a bridge somewhere as we speak.
I’ll never understand why they don’t just put THC in the water.
I don;t know how many times I need to explain to my idiot offspring (who somehow make As in school) that they are cold because they are wearing shorts and are fucking barefoot. MORONS.
They don’t know how insulation works? Maybe make a chart with colored arrows?
Turn the heat up you cheap fuck.
Aaron Rodgers love a guy on his team. Cris just announced it.
“Aaron Rodgers is a distraction the Packers don’t need.” — Tony Dungy at halftime
I have to give McDonald’s credit for continuing to create the absolute shittiest jingles possible over and over.
You deserve a break today
/fuck, how goddamn old AM I?????
HAIL BLEERGH
Packers are playing below their talent level while Cardinals look solid. Chiefs played like an Andy Reid team does in the playoffs and the Patriots seem to have horseshoes stuck up their asses.
Did I miss anything?
The balls were filled with a funnel.
Chocolate Covered Cherry Martini
– 1/2 oz Frangelico
– 1/2 oz Godiva Liqueur
– 1/2 oz Amaretto
– 1/2 oz Bailey’s Irish Cream
– 1/2 oz Kahlua
– 6 oz Cream
Pour over 3 cherries.
You’re welcome.
I prefer the bourbon covered cherry martini. Pour bourbon over three cherries. Enjoy.
I do too actually. This was for my roommate.
Zoolander 2 is going to make more money than deadpool, and it’s going to piss a lot of people off
Speaking of dead pool…I just added Sean Penn to mine.
Unfortunately he’s not a 69 year old British man so hes apparently staying alive this month.
Lo siento, cabron. Pero los soplones consiguen las puntadas.
Piss people off, no. Ryan Reynolds is garbage as are X-Men movies with no Bryan Singer.
I agree Zoolander 2 will make more but I don’t think many people will be upset.
Changing the tape color: that’s like turning a coke into a pepsi
If NBC’s new show about the apocalypse involves the meteor smashing into Foxboro, I might watch.
Flying Dog Brewery “Naughty” with a finish of habanero pepper. Nice
Ballast Point Peppermint Victory At Sea! It’s like a Thin Mint you drink!
FOAR TEH LOVE OF GAWD WHY
sounds like this creme de menthe pie my mom used to make for company. Was like candy that got ya wasted.
But why male models?
What is this, a center for ants?
Mer-Man! Mer-Man!
I DON’T GET THE MILLER LITE COMMERCIAL WITH THE GUY WHO IS A STATUE BUT NOT A STATUE!
WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MEAN
I do not find Ben Stiller or Will Ferrell the least bit funny.
Jerry Stiller, however, is fucking hilarious.
AGREED.
the past year, you have disappointed me in the following ways…
One of you moderator types need to put up a poll.
Manzier vs The Bro
Will Ferrell’s man child humor wears thin after a few minutes.
Tonight’s menu here is Chinese braised short ribs, Jasmine rice and steamed broccoli with a 4 year old German Riesling. Whatcha’ got?
Just had a Summer Roll (spicy crunchy tuna on top of a shrimp tempura roll) and some miso soup. I am satiated for now.
Far, far too much beef stew.
Beef stew is like oxygen. You need it to live but too much will kill you.
I have home made red sauce in the fridge, but sushi is sounding more and more appealing for some reason.
How does special teams?
Six?
What does clay Mathews put in his hair to make it look so ….. douchey?
Vinegar?
A 1986 Poison/Motley Crue page-a-day calendar.
If you put Tom Brady in a corporate office where he’s a middle manager or manager, you know someone is going of out of their way to put something nasty in his coffee.
Or rub their taint on his sandwich.
Time to herb up.
Today’s selection is Beyond Blue Dream. A lovely medicinal grade sativa.
Spicy and has a taste like cascade hops and since it’s a sativa it has a very “up” feel and your brain stays engaged.
Yah mon.
So I finished Making A Murderer today, and everyone’s terrible.
If it makes you feel better, there’s lots of evidence they didn’t show, so despite being totally fucked by the justice system, dude is most likely guilty.
Superior Court Judges like this +1
Oh, that’s what I meant by everyone.
Man, I can’t wait for the Superstore episode where they all get fired for mentioning unionizing in passing during the fifteen minute break they don’t get.
I always made a point to mention unionization at the monthly associates’ lunch meetings at my law firm. I enjoy making people uncomfortable.
I don’t want to hear about your Civil War project. Clean out your locker. Jorge needs a place to put his stuff.
I guarantee the bearded Chevy commercial douche is a Portland Timbers fan.
Dude.
He’s not even here to defend himself.
Siri, go fuck yourself.
Have you yelled at Alexa today?
She has enough electronics…
The wife has a Windows phone…I think she’s getting a lady-boner for Cortana.
Is there an admin who can tell me why I can’t post images from my Imgur account? Did something change? Am I doing something wrong?
Doing GISs then copying the URL from the View Image page works best.
Doesn’t matter where it’s from as long as it ends in .jpg or .gif.
NOTHING ELSE WILL POST
I just hope this is a blowout, one way or the other, very quickly. I’ve watched no Deadwood today and I fell as if I am having Laudanum withdrawals.
http://media.giphy.com/media/10shdxM7mt2D2E/giphy.gif
WU! SWEDGEN!! HANGDAI!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cocksuckah!!
I just started binging that. I never made it past the first season. Not for lack of quality. Just never got around to watching season 2 and 3
Ditto here.
When that junky chick finally fucks Raylan Givens she has Kevin McHale level armpit hair.
You can see how Raylan got the Justified role. He already played it for 3 seasons on Deadwood.
And again in The Crazies.
Yay Rahda Mitchell…even if she is a fucking Aussie
/I really gotta get over the Aussie hatred thing…so many hotties who aren’t insane neo-nazis
Green Russians for everyone!
Wait….the TV just said Red Hot Sex?
I think every touchdown that demolishes a cameraman out of bounds should get an extra point.
WOW.
That was pretty goddamn cool. It would be even cooler if I had some drugs.
You should get some drugs.
I’m lazy/not connected.
Orthopaedist, for back/neck trouble. We all have it to some extent, after all.
When in doubt, always go with MOAR drugs.
– your friendly neighbourhood quack
I have some children’s aspirin if that helps.
FloydDOWN WOO
Gentlemen. Doktor.
I hope everyone is enjoying this fine sports saturday. Ice Giants win, Pats win, Now for a nightcap of Aaron Rodgers Gay jokes.
You know what kind of cap Aaron Rogers likes at night?
A GIANT DICK CAP HARF HARF HARF
HOLY FUCK, Palmer got hit!
Evening all, I hope I’m not out of line if I say holy fuck I hate the P*atriot*s. Nobody gets that lucky.
Andy Reid opponents do.
Quite often, actually.
NEVER TOO LATE FOR GREATRIOTS HATE
No, I got it, it’s just that a methhead from Helena would have coached a better 4th quarter than Andy Reid.
Will Andy Reid ever buy a clue concerning clock management?
GO FOR IT
How come I can’t post an image using the same method I always have (Imgur)?
HAVE I BEEN DEMOTED??????
Better check to see if 5Chan is on your network…
First resin hit now registering:
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5jixeJBBU1qcdcamo1_500.gif
Basically.
Their Hines Wald? I think not. Have never seen Fitty do the patented SMIRE
Fitty is a traitorious DOOSH YEAH I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU CLAIM UNIVERSITY OF PHOENIX ON YOUR NEXT INTRO YOU FUCKING SELLOUT
This is some good hate.
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