Your “Run, Olivia Munn-It’s A Trap!” NFC Division Semi-Final Open Thread

Why is it that QB Palmer can’t have nice things? He was imprisoned in Cincy then renaissance-ed in Arizony then season-injured. Now he’s having a career year and I can’t help but feel it will all come tumbling down. Was his dad a preacher in the Church of God With Signs Following? Is that why he’s snake-bitten? One thing though, the Pack better not blitz him much. Against pressure he has an 84 QBR, a 9.4 yds. per throw average and a 65% completion rate. What he also has over his entire career is not a one playoff victory. Zona LB Okafor is done for the season with some sort of toe injury that no one wants to talk about. No doubt it was fireworks. I’ve got a sixth sense about these things. RB Johnson was held in check the last time these teams met (wk. 16) but as my wife says, “you can’t hold a man-beast down for long”. I think she was yakking about one of her countless exes but what do I know? Stupid, ineffectual QB Rodgers has recently been replaced by superstar Rodgers-which one will show up today? Remember the 51-45 score-fest that happened a way back in ’09? I’d love to see that sort of game again. That particular game you had to race to the bathroom during ads to ensure that you didn’t miss a score. START TYPING YOU SCAMPS!

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OliviaMunn

Bryan “The Beluga Whale” is playing up to expectations.

Sill Bimmons

dafuq??

WCS

Mike McCarthy is determined to relive last year’s NFC Championship Game.

makeitsnowondem

This time, he told himself. This time, I’ll make the right call with the game on the line. Kick a field goal. But harder.

Doktor Zymm

If GB wins this game….I don’t know if I can watch the rest of the playoffs. I might just drink and post unrelated pictures of random shit.

Sharkbait

Isn’t that what we all do anyway?

Doktor Zymm

You mean I’ve been watching these painful games like a suckah?

Spur

The Panthers may be our only hope.

Doktor Zymm

Dear Cam. Please Stick It To The Man.

Love,
Zymm

King Hippo

I promise I 100% WILL boycott a SeaTruther/P*ts rematch.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll be too curled up whimpering to watch.

makeitsnowondem

Eddie Lacy is the fat Barry Sanders. Two yards, three yards, two yards, two yards, sixty yards.

...

Barry. (Fat) Other Barry.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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JustStopDude

I need normal and healthy sexual relationships…

No more punches to the face…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Giving or receiving?
Wait, that probably doesn’t matter if you’re looking for healthy.

Spur

Lacy needs a sandwich after that run.

Sill Bimmons
...

Did I just watch a defense get smoked by fat Eddie Lacy?

WCS

Fat Eddy did something good for a change!

Sharkbait

WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS LACY WHEN I NEEDED YOU?

Spur

Generous Lacy tackling himself

makeitsnowondem

FATBACK

Shogun Marcus

Reporting for duty from Dorman Street in Indianapolis. Ate tremendously well and stunned my team is even remotely in this still.

OliviaMunn

Eddie Lacy’s so fat he needed to take a break in the middle of that run.

Brick Meathook

HA HA CLINTON-DIX you asshole

Spur

These playoffs have sucked so far

King Hippo

it’s like a Soviet Choose Your Own Adventure

WCS

Neither team genuinely wants to win this, eh?

King Hippo

Nobody wants to visit my lovely hometown. I’m tellin’ ya, uptown CLT isn’t the desolate, crackland moonscape it was growing up anymore. Not even sure my beloved Pterodactyl Club is still open ,, smgdh

theeWeeBabySeamus

But there’s still hope for crackland return.

King Hippo

Dennis and Dee sure hope so.

John Difool

Ha-Ha…. You Just Got Clinton Dixed

OliviaMunn

Hahahahaha… Clinton-Dix

Kungjitsu

NBC has Ratt bumper music. I don’t know how I feel about that.

...

Whoever does their bump music really seems to take pride in their choices.

King Hippo

square?

Doktor Zymm

I would be upset…but
heh
Clinton-Dix

Romonobyl

HA-HA!!!!

Badger

WOOT

Sharkbait

You can’t let that John Brown guy hang around too long.

Doktor Zymm

REMEMBER HARPER’S FERRY

theeWeeBabySeamus

As someone who grew up in MD….and took numerous interminable school field trips to that godforsaken “town”….I can sadly never forget it.

Doktor Zymm

I also grew up in MD, and we had more field trips and snow days than anyone else in the nation. Ride on a ferry > some steel mill or whatever they do in Pittsburgh

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO

Sill Bimmons

The most tone-deaf truck commercial ever?

DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA

http://www.truthandaction.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/ISIS-toyota-680×365.jpg

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Caleis Campbell: Genuinely underrated

Doktor Zymm

Caloo Caleis!

King Hippo

quite good at teh footy

Spur

Should’ve double checked that pass.

Romonobyl

RODGAAAAAAAAAAHSSSSS!!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Takeaways, much like dicks, are always big when you talk about them.

Romonobyl

I let mine do the talking for me. Apparently…he’s a mute.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Understated, woo hoo.

Sill Bimmons

I’m sorry, and this shouldn’t really matter, but holy FUCKBALLS does Michelle Tafoya look completely wrong on screen.

Doktor Zymm

It was a poor wardrobe selection. Not the color, but the texture of the fabric.

Sill Bimmons

The whole ensemble.

Doktor Zymm

Dear Arizona.

KILL SOME BASTARDS. OR SOME DUDES WITH MARRIED PARENTS. WHICHEVER ARE ON THE OTHER TEAM.

Sill Bimmons

Can you imagine how fucking cool it must have been for Walter Payton to say to you, “I know who you are?”

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Marlon Waynes: STILL RELEVANT!?!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Still?

Spur

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Sill Bimmons

STAWRNG

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Telenovela: where the acting is bad both on and off camera!

Spur
Sill Bimmons

STAWRNG

WCS

Who wants toast?
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Sill Bimmons

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Doktor Zymm

Whenever I see something that starts “I’ve got something to say” or similar, I try to sing it like the Misfits. This one didn’t work.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My thing is….

Doktor Zymm

Hehe

Doktor Zymm

I’m not gonna drink for awhile once we hit the off season, if for no other reason than reducing my tolerance. I’m not a cheap date nowadays.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t sell yourself short.
I’m sure you’re very cheap.
😉

Doktor Zymm

How many whiskey shots can you afford?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Haha…now THAT is an interesting question.

King Hippo

just remember…ALL DFO dates must be periscoped, for the good of the Commentist Party LMAO

ThePirateSloth

Go ooooooooon

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

You can never prepare for Tony Dungy’s face. It’s an unpleasant surprise EVERY TIME

King Hippo

5.5 games in, and I’m still waiting for ONE happy result.

Sharkbait

I’m sorry NBC halftime crew. I can’t hear you over fallout.

Doktor Zymm

I love local news. “HOW MUCH ARE YOU PAYING FOR THESE SO CALLED BUDGET CUTS???”

Honey, this is Illinois, I know all my tax money is going to the pockets of people who have a 50/50 shot at being in prison in 5 years. I’m just entertained that the excuse for hiking up my property taxes is “we’re actually going to try and pay those pensions we embezzled from repeatedly.”

Haha, yeah right. I’m gonna steal your son’s phone, Rahm. Come and get me. With all the cops you haven’t hired.

...

This rant makes me so happy. 🙂

Sill Bimmons

TOUGH TO SAY HOW MANY NOT BUILT FREEDOM BOMBS COST US AS A COUNTRY YOU FEEB

Spur

I think Arizona gets it together and comes out rolling.

Sill Bimmons

If only Pam Beesly had married me instead of stupid fucking Jim.

We’d be together on the other side of the reality of a fucking Michael Bay film.

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...

FRAMING!

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Sill Bimmons

…squeeze…

Sharkbait

X2. Double tap. Justin case.

King Hippo

So, Green Bay called timeout in case AZ couldn’t run 2 seconds of the clock in 2 plays??

WCS

Mike McCarthy is a proud gradumate of the Andy Reid School of Clock Pissangement