Your “Oh Look, Another Blowout” AFC Semi-Final Open Thread

Although Peyton can’t feel his fingers Ben has one-upped him and doesn’t feel his shoulder, empathy or many other complex emotions. The Broncs starting QB has a gorgeous 9-17 TD/INT ratio that places him right up there with the likes of Vince Young and Pedo Sanchez as the worst fellas to ever start a playoff game. At this point if I was a Denver fan I’d be somewhat comfortable starting the questionable Bark Rottweiler, who did quite well in emergency service. Did I mention that Pitt was “Dead Paul McCartney’ed”? (Pete Carroll’s verb, not mine) They are a very special team in that they don’t have either their leading rusher or receiver available for the game. WR Brown was off the field for only 4% of Steelers plays this year but they scored 6 TD’s on those very same plays. All the Steelers have to do to replicate that success is to be in “and goal” down situations most of the game. EAZY PEEZY! [pulls up a chair for you, looks at you with serious face] We need Denver to win this-they have a much better chance to beat the Pats than does the crippled folks from Pitt. You done well, yinzers but it’s time now to act for the greater good. TYPE AWAY GEAR BOXES!

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Sill Bimmons

fuck

King Hippo

Sigh

Brick Meathook

THAT SURE FOOLED THEM

Moonbatting Average

faileration

makeitsnowondem

Mike Tomlin is good.

blackroseMD1

4th and 1? Let’s throw it long! – Sex Cannon

Brick Meathook

I’LL BET I CAN HIT THAT KID IN THE WHEELCHAIR

King Hippo

Way to play the ball instead of the cornea, Aqib!

fleshwound_NPG

I FUCKING KNEW IT, TODD HALEY GOES FOR A BOMB ON 4TH AND 1

Never change, Boss Todd.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey…I’m Todd FUCKING Haley.

Sharkbait

Need 1 yard.

Fuck it. Full on Sex Cannpn

blackroseMD1

Dammit, beat me to it.

bourb0nblues

Hells bells.

litre_cola

Phil Simms, Gruden, Collinsworth, and Aikman. Sweet Jesus how have I not thrown my tv off my balcony this year.

Sill Bimmons

why

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a nice toque Pey Pey is sporting.
Puff ball be fluffy n shit.

Moonbatting Average

How much of Ben’s body has been numbed for this game? Like 70%?

Romonobyl

100% from the neck up.

Sharkbait

GO FOR IT BOSS TODD!

evilbeaver8

“Damn right I’m going for it….you don’t get pussy by being one”
-Todd

evilbeaver8

Am I the only one who thought Amendola’s personal foul yesterday was dirtier than anything in the Steelers/Bengals debacle?

Doktor Zymm

It was pretty fucked up, especially considering the circumstances. It was clearly on purpose, none of this “he couldn’t stop” crap.

Bortleback

Yes, but it was somehow much grittier and more lunchpail than anything that someone called Vontaze or Pacman would do

Horatio Cornblower

Dirty, yes. “Dirtier than Steelers/Bengals”, however, is going to require foreign objects, overtly racist managers distracting the referees and copious amounts of blood.

Sill Bimmons

Nice.

King Hippo

fucking pathetic

theeWeeBabySeamus

Admitting to ligament damage….
But not forced penetration….amirite?

Doktor Zymm

Over/under on the number of intact ligaments in Ben’s shoulder?

evilbeaver8

I always assumed his insides were pure Slim Jim.

The Maestro

But they won’t let you bet negative numbers!

Horatio Cornblower

Does “intact but not connected to anything” count?

Romonobyl

comment image

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Greetings all, I’m so ready for this game.

http://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lckf03uMdf1qzmd3ao1_500.gif

bourb0nblues

We have normality!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Omaha….ha, ha, ha, ha
snap the ball fucktard!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

I see the first 3.5 minutes of this game were not as interesting as the first 3.5 minutes of the last game.

Sharkbait

What a letdown.

King Hippo

mother of fuck

nomonkeyfun

Holy Shit. I assume I’m the last of the commentariat to see it, but I just got home from Star Wars. This is the movie I’ve been waiting for since 1983 when I was 5. I haven’t stopped smiling since the opening scroll. I guess the NFL will take care of that.

WOW. I am a very happy monkey right now.

King Hippo

I haven’t seen it, but probably won’t. Certainly not until HBO.

Moonbatting Average

I was awesome, I watched it in a theater with a full bar

John Difool

I saw the original Star Wars in 1977 when I was 6 years old…..I left the theater sporting a disco shirt with a gold medallion around my neck swimming in a sea of chest hairs.

Spanky Datass

Saw It for the first time yesterday morning. Liked it a lot and I was almost 10 when A New Hope debuted.

nomonkeyfun

Also, I think it was Maestro who said it, but John Williams is a gotddam film treasure.

And I’m going to see it again tomorrow.

Bortleback

He just ran about 80 yards for a 5 yard gain

Bugg

Could be some kind of half assed record for such things.

blackroseMD1

I just realized that I have a dislike of the city of Omaha, through no fault of it’s own.

JustStopDude

http://www.hathawaysettlements.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Mutual_of_OmahaLOGO.gif

Manning gets like $2 mill a year by Mutual of Omaha for using that as his pre-snap word.

John Difool

Boykin just got stiff-raped

evilbeaver8

Is it just me or does Thomas drop a lot passes?

litre_cola

very much so.

JustStopDude
Horatio Cornblower

In a related gif, Ben Rothlisberger’s attorney has advised him to stop talking to the media.

Kungjitsu

Who’s the slowest dude in the NFL with dreds?

Moonbatting Average

Stephen Jackson

King Hippo

OMAR COMIN’

Moonbatting Average

Yay missed tackles!

Sill Bimmons

OH FUCK YOU BOSS TODD HOW MANY DRIVES WILL YOU KILL WITH BUBBLE SCREENS

King Hippo

TJ makes a world of difference. Stewart, too.

Moonbatting Average

Well I guess he can throw

blackroseMD1

Let’s go Meteors!

King Hippo

inaccurate

Horatio Cornblower
Gratliff

I’m really happy that’s a food website.

JustStopDude

Oddly…I am crushed by disappointment…

Horatio Cornblower

If it’ll help we ate at the bar and the bartender was wearing yoga pants. My friend described her ass as “epic” and my wife agreed.

I wisely said nothing while shoveling fried pickles in my mouth.

The Maestro

hnnnnnnnghhhh

Moonbatting Average

Kinda glad I’m watching this on mute at a bar

theeWeeBabySeamus

hahahahaha

Kungjitsu

So, Brady’s going to his 7th SB, Manning’s going to his 4th, or Ben’s going to his 4th. The AFC has sucked for the last 15 years

Horatio Cornblower

Don’t forget Phillip Rivers has 19 kids!

Gratliff

So Lori from the Walking Dead is interviewing superfan Omar Epps. Football is weird.

Horatio Cornblower

Omar comin’ yo.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lori is still a yuuuugggeee cunt.
Just sayin’