Your “Oh Look, Another Blowout” AFC Semi-Final Open Thread

Although Peyton can’t feel his fingers Ben has one-upped him and doesn’t feel his shoulder, empathy or many other complex emotions. The Broncs starting QB has a gorgeous 9-17 TD/INT ratio that places him right up there with the likes of Vince Young and Pedo Sanchez as the worst fellas to ever start a playoff game. At this point if I was a Denver fan I’d be somewhat comfortable starting the questionable Bark Rottweiler, who did quite well in emergency service. Did I mention that Pitt was “Dead Paul McCartney’ed”? (Pete Carroll’s verb, not mine) They are a very special team in that they don’t have either their leading rusher or receiver available for the game. WR Brown was off the field for only 4% of Steelers plays this year but they scored 6 TD’s on those very same plays. All the Steelers have to do to replicate that success is to be in “and goal” down situations most of the game. EAZY PEEZY! [pulls up a chair for you, looks at you with serious face] We need Denver to win this-they have a much better chance to beat the Pats than does the crippled folks from Pitt. You done well, yinzers but it’s time now to act for the greater good. TYPE AWAY GEAR BOXES!

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Wakezilla

Rosie Huntington-Whitleley is clearly an attractive woman, and yet she does nothing for me for some reason.

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Col. Duke LaCross

I’d be afraid of breaking her.

Wakezilla

See,I like petite women because of that. Not sure what it is about her though.

BugEyedBoo

Angharad!

King Hippo

Better, PeyPey and Kubes.

Sharkbait

The first JUST ended?

Sharkbait

All of the floats!

blackroseMD1

“You gotta quit cheating…”

Silly Phil, the Pats game was yesterday.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mrs. HGH would like a word.

Sill Bimmons

How come there’s no hand-wringing over this shitty field?

Oh, right. Neither team is coached by Pete Carroll.

litre_cola

Wasn’t Cameron Heyward fined for supporting his father with fuck cancer eye black or something? Now he is up for man of the year. Good work nfl.

nomonkeyfun

don’t worry it will go to the Ben for his work against rape.

makeitsnowondem

“Pittsburgh has good wide receivers” was also my takeaway from watching the running back score, Phil.

Doktor Zymm
theeWeeBabySeamus

Yikes

Brick Meathook

ADAM WEST IS THE ONLY BATMAN

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

Why is Zack Snyder?

evilbeaver8

Steroids and repressed homosexual urges.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Romonobyl

That’s the day he first heard about SnapChat.

blackroseMD1

Fitzgerald Toussaint? Well, he was either going to be a football player or a high level French diplomat.

Kungjitsu

Governor of Louisiana

litre_cola

Sitting on a rocking chair sipping on a Mint Julep, I do declare, I do declare.

litre_cola

So who do you guys believe to be the best announcing team from any network?

The Maestro

It’s Tirico/Gruden and then everyone else. Not saying they’re absolutely unreal, but they’re miles ahead of this dreck here tonight.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Gus Johnson and a clone of Gus Johnson.

Brick Meathook

Pat Summerall – Tom Brookshier

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just checking in to see how puckered our resident Donks fans’ sphincters are.

King Hippo

WOULD POWDER ANY DIAMOND

Moonbatting Average

DEFCON 5

ThursdaySkyGoddess

TOUSSAINTDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Go for two you pussies.

indieguy
The Maestro

Damn, I didn’t know the Pats were included in Fallout 4.

bourb0nblues

Rea-lly hun-gry for some brains!

Moonbatting Average

This defense is sucking ass

King Hippo

against a 3rd team RB playing with no QB.

bourb0nblues

Good play! Huzzah!

Sharkbait

Nice gain.

Next play: bubble screen. -3 yards.

Sill Bimmons

Shockingly, no!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Successful end around?

evilbeaver8

When discussion comes up of the worst football broadcasters everyone remembers Dennis Miller on MNF…but somehow Kornheiser always escapes mention.

Sharkbait

Holy damn you’re right. I forgot he was a thing on MNF

bourb0nblues

Shit… K-Hole was the WORST.

nomonkeyfun

Don’t forget about his Rushness.

Romonobyl

Collinsworth would be OK if he simply didn’t speak.

King Hippo

So, the Donks will beat The Ben’s corpse like 9-3 today, and lose by 4 scores to the P*ts on the current trajectory.

Still, Favrenis loses his wins records so haha FUCK YOU

Brick Meathook

FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD?????

blackroseMD1

Good god CBS…that camera angle almost made my hangover come back.

Sharkbait

I forgot how much I hate the horn blowing at Ice Slurs games.

Doktor Zymm

What asshole puts tomatoes in a Caesar salad?

Sill Bimmons

Somebody who doesn’t know how to make one.

nomonkeyfun

Da fuq?

A Caesar is the salad for people who eat beef three times a day and want to appease their S/O.

Romonobyl

Or generic boxed croutons…blech.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sometimes I’ll make one at home with grape tomatoes. Am I a monster?

Doktor Zymm

Do you call it a Caesar salad, or do you just call it a salad that happens to have Caesar dressing?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Chicken caesar salad. It’s possibly the healthiest thing I cook at home.

evilbeaver8

“I know a lot about war from my time pretending to be a robot from the future”
-Arnold

fleshwound_NPG

Welp, time to appease the FG Gods a lot today…

Moonbatting Average

Surmountable Lead

King Hippo

YUP

makeitsnowondem

And how.

litre_cola

Holy shit, KFC Canada has online ordering so I do not even have to speak to a human!

Sill Bimmons

I hate you.

litre_cola

You started it Sill, I can’t help that my THC addled brain takes suggestions literally.

Sill Bimmons

SHUT UP FARVA

fleshwound_NPG

FUCK

Wakezilla

Yeah, but KFC Canada is terrible

King Hippo

Where is CJ and why is there so much shitty Hillman on my teevee screen?

blackroseMD1

About time for a PeyPeyPickSix, innit?

evilbeaver8

Denver’s entire offensive game plan thus far seems designed to just not have him get pick-sixed.

Sharkbait

Wait. Jay Feeley is an analyst for CBS now?

fleshwound_NPG

…aaaand that was it.

...

The Patriots are going to thunderfuck the winner of this game, aren’t they?

Sharkbait

I approve if this scenario.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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blackroseMD1

Almost certainly yes.

makeitsnowondem

Good move to avoid a return there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That punt was teh shittiest.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

evilbeaver8

From the commercials for their shows…I get the impression CBS’ target audience has no problem swallowing a premise…be it absurd or banal…like they are targeting the credulous and guileless.

Sill Bimmons

Brainless.

Sill Bimmons

jeebus

Sharkbait

Block punt for a safety?

Sill Bimmons

ALL THE INJURIES

King Hippo

The Ben is clearly The Compromised

Romonobyl

I’m digging my new Fitbit, it tells my how many miles I’ve masturbated.

litre_cola

Told Mrs Cola that, she stated “You are supposed to wear it on your non masterbating hand like I do”

King Hippo

KEEPER!!

Romonobyl

I use both hands…closest thing I’ve ever had to a three-way.

Doktor Zymm

“My hand moved 5 miles today!”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have questions.

Col. Duke LaCross

God, I miss Wade & Jerry.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit….now I want ice Cream.

ThePirateSloth

I’m rather glad I did not watch more than 1 minute of the Seahawks 2nd half. Instead I got to grill out some fan-fucking-tastic burgers.

Sill Bimmons

WOULDN’T WANT TO HOLD HIM UP THERE PINKIE

fleshwound_NPG

holy fuck, tap dat shit son

Romonobyl

Trick play not tricky enough.