Your “Oh Look, Another Blowout” AFC Semi-Final Open Thread

Although Peyton can’t feel his fingers Ben has one-upped him and doesn’t feel his shoulder, empathy or many other complex emotions. The Broncs starting QB has a gorgeous 9-17 TD/INT ratio that places him right up there with the likes of Vince Young and Pedo Sanchez as the worst fellas to ever start a playoff game. At this point if I was a Denver fan I’d be somewhat comfortable starting the questionable Bark Rottweiler, who did quite well in emergency service. Did I mention that Pitt was “Dead Paul McCartney’ed”? (Pete Carroll’s verb, not mine) They are a very special team in that they don’t have either their leading rusher or receiver available for the game. WR Brown was off the field for only 4% of Steelers plays this year but they scored 6 TD’s on those very same plays. All the Steelers have to do to replicate that success is to be in “and goal” down situations most of the game. EAZY PEEZY! [pulls up a chair for you, looks at you with serious face] We need Denver to win this-they have a much better chance to beat the Pats than does the crippled folks from Pitt. You done well, yinzers but it’s time now to act for the greater good. TYPE AWAY GEAR BOXES!

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fleshwound_NPG

3 and 30 NFL BLITZ

Gratliff

Is this a second halftime?

Moonbatting Average

Who farted into the stadium PA?

Sharkbait

Not sure if a smartass kid made that fartnoise, or it was the game audio…

Sill Bimmons

Froo froo jumpy kid is never going to hear the end of that.

fleshwound_NPG

Of course the fackin Pats kid is the annoying one

Bortleback

And the Raiders one just happens to have the darkest skin

blaxabbath

“I’m on it!”

-Aaron Rodgers incorrectly responding to calls for players in the NFL Flag League.

evilbeaver8

Yes…Odell Beckham is well noted for his twirls…hence the hit movie “Twirling like Beckham”.

King Hippo

yes, I repeatedly was yelling “GET THE BALL!!!” at the teevee box

makeitsnowondem

same

Sill Bimmons

There were worse people and places to be that day than that guy on that couch…

Sill Bimmons

WHO CARES

King Hippo

DECLINE THE PENALTY, dumb motherfuckers

blackroseMD1

“No.” – Gary Kubiak

King Hippo

fuck you Gary!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

nomonkeyfun

Awwwww. Someone thinks the Kubes makes a decision.

evilbeaver8

“Any ball thrown to DHB is technically uncatchable”
-PFTCommenter

King Hippo

stupid and completely unnecessary. Like all of TLC’s programming

litre_cola

Hey hey hey, My weird addiction or whatever it is called is good learnin.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You gotta be shitting me.
Catchable….motherfucker. ‘Twasn’t

Sill Bimmons

Refereeing crew is the exact opposite of last week.

makeitsnowondem

I no longer kniow what an uncatchable pass is.

blackroseMD1

“It must be nice to have a functional offensive line.” – Philip Rivers

The Maestro

Why do you think he keeps churning out the kids? It’s prep for the future. NEXT MAN UP

Moonbatting Average

The middle of the field, motherfuckers, can you defend it?

Gratliff

Almost time to switch off to Flyera-Wings where Philly will continue their redistribution of points through shootout losses.

Wakezilla

Ice Eagles seem stuck in averageness for years now.

Sill Bimmons

Ownership still thinks it’s 1974.

Gratliff

They look really good lately, but they have zero ability to win a shootout. Ron Hextall seems to have a fucking clue how to manage a salary cap which is something the Flyers haven’t had in 20 years. Ghost Bear looks like he’s going to be a monster in a few years.

King Hippo

why is fucking NOBODY ever guarded??

evilbeaver8

I wonder if Bam Morris is still alive.

Sill Bimmons

1st turnover loses this.

King Hippo

100% agreed

King Hippo

PLEAZ FUMBRE

King Hippo

would two MOAR FGs do it, or would we need THREE?

Sharkbait

CBS, We CAN watch the probowl. But we probably won’t.

nomonkeyfun

The pro bowl. A game so pathetic even the commentariat won’t watch it.

The Maestro

Eh, I probably will. Because I’m terrible.

Sill Bimmons

I’ll watch it.

Junkies get their fix even if they have to dive into a toilet.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li276pK6eo1qdunk8o1_500.gif

litre_cola

moar field goalz

blaxabbath

I was kind of afraid that Palmer might be out of gas at the end of this season (even if he doesn’t know it). Then I see Peyton and know Palmer will be starting 16 games next season.

fleshwound_NPG

FG Gods obese today

Sharkbait

Anyone care to explain how Batman and Superman come to fight each other?

litre_cola

ISIS

Sill Bimmons

Not really.

indieguy

batman is afraid of superman. he thinks this god like being needs reigned in.

Wakezilla

Zack Snyder and Frank Miller era Batman fanboys wanted it to happen.

Also, Lex Luthor

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I believe it is something like Batman thinks Superman is an overpowered boring useless dick who doesn’t care about collateral damage. I am not sure if that is right, google it and correct me if I am wrong.

King Hippo

Christ, this is painful.

Sill Bimmons

Why is Jesse Eisenberg?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Obama

Sill Bimmons

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evilbeaver8

Millenials.

Sill Bimmons

You ever notice how Fetushead never “burns” a timeout?

NEVER

evilbeaver8

He’s much too heady for that.

Wakezilla

Peyton’s Timeouts are just more intelligent

makeitsnowondem

Timeouts can’t melt titanium necks

Sill Bimmons

Not tipped, just terrible.

King Hippo

whew, FG range

blaxabbath

I feel like Peyton taking a sack is me seeing him at his most athletic.

litre_cola

I love to cook, but there is still something magical about people delivering food to wherever you are.

Sill Bimmons

STOP RUBBING IT IN FARVA

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Canadian KFC does not qualify as “food”

The Maestro

It’s cool though, we have Popeyes now.

litre_cola

I love that all of their food is beige.

Sill Bimmons

Brown and browner.

King Hippo

I will give Yinz this – Tomlin came in with a GREAT gameplan, once again.

blaxabbath

Probably got it from one of his white assistants.

Sill Bimmons

My old house is in that shot!

blaxabbath

-Jim Tomsula viewing a panoramic shot of the Denver Train Depot

makeitsnowondem

Epic comeback starts right here

blaxabbath

“Usually they would try a screen to catch the defense off guard.”

If you’re announcing that it is their tendency, then it probably would NOT catch the defense off guard.

Sill Bimmons

Can’t run on this D you idiots.

fleshwound_NPG

PHEEL pronouncing it “Ben’s hurt shoder”

Moonbatting Average

Robert DeNiro needs to be put to sleep

evilbeaver8

No Way! $5 says Fartin Grampa gets his best reviews since Raging Bull and bigger box office than Meet the Parents.

blackroseMD1

Markus Wheaton playing football more like Wil Wheaton there…

evilbeaver8

So if the Stillers score here… Osweiler time right?

The Maestro

Honestly, it’s not Peyton. It’s the WRs. I don’t know why I’m defending RoboNeck, but to me he hasn’t been awful, he’s just not getting help.

blaxabbath

Peyton’s fault for not sharing his HGH.

evilbeaver8

I didn’t mean to imply Pey-Pey was at fault, just that Kubiak wouldn’t really have any other choice.

King Hippo

DHB saves the day.

Sill Bimmons

PINKIE YOU JACKASS LET IT GO

Sill Bimmons

James Harrison is a bad man.

Wakezilla

If Pittsburgh loses, I found the guy you can blame:

comment image

Gratliff

Time for Ice Stillers to go back down with Columbus where they belong.

The Maestro

Nah, blame Phil Kessel instead. That’s what they did in Toronto, and look at ’em now!

blaxabbath

Not to jinx, but if ARI takes on NE in SBXXXXX, everyone will root against NE, right?

King Hippo

like our lives depended on it

Wakezilla

Probably. Though I think I like Carolina matching up against the Pats

Sill Bimmons

I can’t really see a scenario where I would ever root for the P*ts.

evilbeaver8

You could substitute “Satan, Hitler, and Pol-Pot” for Arizona in your question and the answer would still be yes.

King Hippo

I mean, when you get right down to it…what did Pol Pot ever do to ME? smh

theeWeeBabySeamus

No promises.
I really hate both.

blaxabbath

#TeamMeteor

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