I like both these teams. Both will perform very well in the last game of the year against either AFC champion. (What? Did you think that as of [checks pocket watch] 3:32 EST I know who won the AFC thingy?) Rivera and Arians both deserve all the kudos for taking formerly moribund programs to the top. And it just seems like it’s the NFC’s year this year, doesn’t it?
Stats Time: Them Panthers led the league in scoring and the Cards were second. If the Cards depend on the blitz to bring pressure they are fooked. QB Newton completes 59% of his passes, has an 80.4 QBR and has a ridiculous 80.4 QBR when the other team brings the house. As far as rushing is concerned, the Panthers attack as a team averages 4.1 yards per carry. GOSTKOWSKI SUCKS! (just saw the missed extra point)
Okay down to brass tacks (whatever that means) I sorta lucked out last week by identifying DT Short as a difference-maker. This reminds me-GM of the Panthers Gettleman drafted two DT’s back to back in the ’13 draft. Lotulelei went in the first and Short went in the second. BAM! INTERIOR D IS TAKEN CARE OF FOR A HALF-DOZEN YEARS. As far as feel-good stories are concerned the weakest narrative going is QB Palmer’s quest for a Super Bowl ring. He wasn’t that great a story in Cincy so why all the lovin’ now? Now, WR Fitz is legitimate. THIS GUY-copyright Jon Gruden-is a tried and true big game performer with stats up the whatzizz. On t’udder side of the ball I would love to see a nation of older, pale sports writers back pedal en masse from their “here comes Vince Young 2.0” interior monologues if QB Cam wins. It’s okay fellas, you’ll always have JaMarcus Russell. What say you persons? Let me know who you like below. TYPE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER TYPED BEFORE, WASTRELS!
Still up, still drankin’. Day off tomorrow. Still have reservations about where we’re going…
http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2014013/rs_500x284-140113145622-archer-dangerzone4.gif
http://56.media.tumblr.com/d1aba98678db4c083a1b367892a2e370/tumblr_o19904XBMR1qlz1v3o1_1280.jpg
Karma’s a bitch.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/45065a8cf795f40467bf1eecbdd00da1/tumblr_o0r0eckkXZ1rpvti2o2_500.gif
http://56.media.tumblr.com/61130b79608aea009c68be66905071ed/tumblr_nx24jjJLRg1unmtsfo1_1280.jpg
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/52843722.jpg
http://56.media.tumblr.com/d84ad805e56550b84a2162909bdc6167/tumblr_mgw6qthoMT1ric2iqo1_500.jpg
http://57.media.tumblr.com/722ee5e43676e2f55b4b69a888fc7ab9/tumblr_n7nw1elZfC1qdk6zzo1_500.gif
Welp, I need to stop drinking and go to bed. Not necessarily in that order.
Night folks…
http://www.vodkacranberryclooney.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/walks-out-o.gif
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http://57.media.tumblr.com/253de948e032f5c237e5e4a9ffbf8ae5/tumblr_njxircFpVM1r9pgnno1_500.gif
Gravity…schmavity.
http://www.returnofkings.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/hot-girl-hd-wallpapers-141.jpg
http://57.media.tumblr.com/73622b9252a58313cda217f83cbf81c1/tumblr_o0kgwaAMHc1qa16vyo8_400.gif
How great are wireless controllers?
http://56.media.tumblr.com/da3060466d3c93e2c68a3473e8fb676b/tumblr_nwmyvvHEQj1unmtsfo1_1280.jpg
Hai their Malin.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ku7DiUyBK08/UjIzsSlzs3I/AAAAAAAAH04/slEU8ukUCo0/s640/Malin-Akerman-Hot1.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m44b9nvG6A1rs6tudo1_400.gif
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/3832040/ron-burgundy-o.gif
Shit….now I want a burrito.
/my own worst enemy
http://56.media.tumblr.com/af59b422b6eee685a82f7c0e5c38552d/tumblr_nk0lpo3w4X1unmtsfo1_1280.jpg
Rachel Nichols………
http://56.media.tumblr.com/b4f901b324c5aa3844aac9bc99f7af69/tumblr_mylr08zKtK1sz6116o1_500.jpg
The pattern on that bikini is really lovely.
First time in seven years I don’t care who wins the Super Bowl. That was New Orleans-Indy. For that one, whatever, good vibes, regardless. No offense to yinz Donks fans, but this WVU grad wanted Bruce Irvin to get a ring.
Cam can #MURDERDEATHKILL limpdicks like PK, Florio, Nawrocki, and Cowherd with a win. Battleship Manning can go off to producing legions of terrible commercials for even terribler companies, and tie Elisha for Super Bowl wins, despite the former would win with an amazing defense. A fair amount of the Commentist Party would be pleased, regardless.
One way or the other, it’s a happy day when the Patriots, Ravens, and Cowboys aren’t in the Super Bowl.
I’m in full agreement.
Wait…RAVENS?????
http://i.imgur.com/3QGP45M.gif
Fucking 49ers. Even when they do good, they can’t do it right.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/ce3c66603f9f05432bcdba1f30236438/tumblr_nc899rmz7A1s27kigo1_500.jpg
Oh, Valerie…
https://youtu.be/YcRtlj8KXT4
Your nipple is showing.
No….the other one.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/4118735/don-simmons-o.gif
How the candy sees life from the inside of the vending machine in Indiana.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/93dcf793b1e063a500d1bdb1272b1424/tumblr_o0jzie3AIY1qat5pio1_500.gif
http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x107/ujduche/Randum/dude-wait-what.jpg
Rewatching some of the Carolina game…..
http://56.media.tumblr.com/c95ce53ffb8651bbba7bbdcaaca1ba6c/tumblr_o14nj6gPNI1ultu3qo1_1280.jpg
An A.A. meeting I’d go to.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/4c074e435239ccfe46c9324e2e2c8fde/tumblr_o1dn34v8mG1shd9xeo1_1280.jpg
I’m Seamus, and I’m an Amyholic.
JSD having pachinko flashbacks right about now.
Evil lost and I’m tired. Good work everyone, I’m off to bed. Pro Bowl rivebrog?
Strong stance on the Cardinals.
Ugh. That’s what we’re reduced to?
As a middle aged white male, I’m loathe to admit that I love the Minions.
You are man enough to admit it.
I took my niece to see that movie last summer. Was only an excuse to go see it without feeling like a douche. 😀
I have two small children, and I’d rather watch the Three Stooges recast as Twinkies with goggles than, say, sex toys controlled by a drug addict.
Well….let’s not rule anything out.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/c668efb426108ccf716fad48cc9ac7c5/tumblr_mrjdewzxj91sa9dy9o2_1280.png
http://56.media.tumblr.com/f18a21b823e71c3f71ecd80f9761478a/tumblr_mxkwzsvWWN1qij4o1o1_1280.jpg
I’m suddenly feeling hypnotized by feminine beauty. Moose must be near.
Now food pics, then I can masturbate.
/not serious
//yes I am
If Carolina finishes off Denver, top 5 team of all time?
18-1 with a ring would be tough to top.
While such perspective is difficult in the moment, It’s hard to argue against. No doubt.
What Seamus said. Need a little more time to assess, but, certainly in the discussion. Unless you’re Peter King and/or Nolan Nawrocki.
http://i.imgur.com/UCPce17.gif
Fuck, wrong copy/paste. Forget it.
Russell Wilson, what did you think of the Cards’ performance in the 1st half tonight?
http://www.eurweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Russell-Wilson–e1412339206679.jpg
How about their 2nd half adjusments?
http://gamblingresults.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Russel_Wilson_laughing.jpg
Whose Superb Owl is this, Russell?
Fuck you, asshole
http://capegazette.villagesoup.com/media/Common/16/BA/1096310/russell%20wilson.jpg
Owl B Sure?
Speak Cleateman is the ref for Super Bowl L!
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http://ace.mu.nu/archives/feathersmcgraw.gif
Cam will be the first Heisman-winning QB to start a Super Bowl since Plunkett in 1984.
WHY CANT A GOOD CHRISTIAN MAN LIEK TEBOW GET A BRAKE????!!1
http://memecrunch.com/meme/5L8TJ/don-t-fuck-with-jesus/image.png?w=400&c=1
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Needs Frank’s toe knife…
http://latimesherocomplex.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/milla-jovovich3.jpg?w=399&h=600
She might botch it, though.
http://m0.joe.ie/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/10182124/Frank-Charlie.jpg
http://www.giantfreakinrobot.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/sex-files.jpg
Alien sex contained therein?
I’d be pretty damn upset if it wasn’t!
I want to believe so.
Nice….ummmm….bag.
?w=520&h=350&crop=1
Corbin Dallas vs John McClane, who ya got?
Can I just take Milla Jovovovovovich?
Ruby Rod vs. Al Powell?
Karl does not like this -1
http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/karl.gif
Any of you dickslaps still around?
drunk but yes
I thought we said something earlier about clit slapping
/tries to slap dick
//misses….hits balls
uuunnnnhhhhhh huh….here.
Heard from my Homer, AK people earlier today. Apparently the earthquake knocked a bottle of red wine out of their win rack and it busted on the white carpet. They’ve been working for hours to get the stain minimized.
/white people problems
//yes I’m serious….they were very distraught about the “aftermath”
Recalls the horrific damage I experienced during the 2011 earthquake in central Virginia…
http://joedonatelli.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/virginia_earthquake_2011.jpg
Gillian Anderson is an attractive woman and possibly a Highlander.
Someone has to stop these sons of bitches.
But first, a nice bubblebath.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m22g6fCPOQ1qmzi0bo1_500.png
Those look like ‘splodey boxes.
Yep….they done went all ‘splodey.
http://55.media.tumblr.com/7903ad43e645d4eb8d6dde6fdfa0c384/tumblr_myipn87yQW1sbhz3go1_500.gif
/very surprised Moose isn’t here for this
Seth McFarlane is not amused…
http://memecrunch.com/meme/1S1BR/mindquad/image.png
/expecting agent Beeman to walk in and get in a yuuuuugge fight with Mulder.
//ok…hoping is more accurate
http://www.hawtcelebs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/annet-mahendru-in-esquire-magazine-march-2014-issue_1.jpg
She isn’t telling me any jokes, no matter how much I poke the touchscreen with my…uh, finger.
Jokes….schmokes…
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wQgwQZkqRdg/UVSoBvvmBzI/AAAAAAAAAss/gaxyR25uX6Q/s1600/Annet+Mahendru3.jpg
http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2013/01/annet-mahendru/06-annet-mahendru.jpg
Oh, those bastard aliens got Nora pregnant. Several times.
Oh, my darling….
Like they did anything you wouldn’t have.
They could have used a condom at least.
I repeat…
LOL
http://projectshanks.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Annet-Mahendru-6.jpg
Do I need to go back and watch the entire series or can I just roll with having watched the two theatrical movies?
My guess is you’re good.
Though the Eugene Tooms episode is worth the price of admission by itself.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_5s67MJWOeAg/SjmxUxMcKYI/AAAAAAAAAec/3xfhzd3u2nI/s400/Picture+2.png
Stolen Laptop Jokes vs. Shitty Pizza Jokes WHO YA GOT?
HGH you taste so good
Let’s see how the narrative deftly dances around those accusations as they rev up the farewell game for Fetushead.
Wooo Hooo…KGB double agent Nora in the XFiles reboot!!!!!
This…just….got….interesting.
/and also joel mchale
Jeff Gordon debuts as NASCAR analyst.
Yeah, they’re all driving pretty fast…some not as fast. LEFT TURN
And now they’re still driving pretty fast. LEFT TURN
Ooooh, that guy is trying to drive faster. CRASH. LEFT TURN
Wiiiiiiilld doggies!
Tonight the role of Shang Tsung was played by Cam Newton.
And now, a less gory video than this game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghH_NG-lac8
So glad Chris Carter decided to continue the Millennium saga. I’ve been worried about Frank Black for 20 years. And Little Jordan will be all grown up by now. Oh….I can’t wait….
What?
Oh GODDAMMIT!!!!!!