Your “One Of These Teams Has To Not-Win? NUTCAKES!” NFC Championship Open Thread

I like both these teams. Both will perform very well in the last game of the year against either AFC champion. (What? Did you think that as of [checks pocket watch] 3:32 EST I know who won the AFC thingy?) Rivera and Arians both deserve all the kudos for taking formerly moribund programs to the top. And it just seems like it’s the NFC’s year this year, doesn’t it?

Stats Time: Them Panthers led the league in scoring and the Cards were second. If the Cards depend on the blitz to bring pressure they are fooked. QB Newton completes 59% of his passes, has an 80.4 QBR and has a ridiculous 80.4 QBR when the other team brings the house. As far as rushing is concerned, the Panthers attack as a team averages 4.1 yards per carry. GOSTKOWSKI SUCKS! (just saw the missed extra point)

Okay down to brass tacks (whatever that means) I sorta lucked out last week by identifying DT Short as a difference-maker. This reminds me-GM of the Panthers Gettleman drafted two DT’s back to back in the ’13 draft. Lotulelei went in the first and Short went in the second. BAM! INTERIOR D IS TAKEN CARE OF FOR A HALF-DOZEN YEARS. As far as feel-good stories are concerned the weakest narrative going is QB Palmer’s quest for a Super Bowl ring. He wasn’t that  great a story in Cincy so why all the lovin’ now? Now, WR Fitz is legitimate. THIS GUY-copyright Jon Gruden-is a tried and true big game performer with stats up the whatzizz. On t’udder side of the ball I would love to see a nation of older, pale sports writers back pedal en masse  from their “here comes Vince Young 2.0” interior monologues if QB Cam wins. It’s okay fellas, you’ll always have JaMarcus Russell. What say you persons? Let me know who you like below. TYPE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER TYPED BEFORE, WASTRELS!

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Gratliff

Jesus. If he’d have made that pick.

blaxabbath

Fuck! And we didn’t dress Barkley today….

Romonobyl

Manningbot during power-down:
http://i.imgur.com/Q56dN2l.png

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

People from Canadia think she is a traitor for joining our side, but who cares about them. More US Women’s Soccer pics. Sydney Leroix

http://www.rantsports.com/clubhouse/files/2014/10/Sydney-Leroux-Insta.jpg

(sorry if this is a repeat comment, I am getting 30 seconds of lag before comments post and sometimes an error message that isn’t a normal error message)

litre_cola

Oh Benedict Arnold I see.

/shakes fist

Gratliff

That’s an interesting shaking motion.

Col. Duke LaCross

I think WordPress is on the fritz.

Horatio Cornblower

Horatio raises beer glass: “Gentlemen. Ladies. To the Patriots!”

DFO: (Except Maestro, who is passed out in a puddle of Sam Adams) “FUCK THE PATRIOTS!”

Horatio: “Good to see we’re all still coherent. To the NFC game!”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I might not be coherent. I didn’t drink all that much but I am wasted for some reason, but I am never one to avoid a toast so cheers sir

makeitsnowondem

A boring-ass wheat beer from the people who make Bud Light? DOES IT COME IN 15-PACKS

Horatio Cornblower

I’LL TAKE TWO!!!!

Romonobyl

Regardless of this outcome…I approve of a small-market SooperBowl.

Sill Bimmons

Stillers — Pack must have been a dream come true.

fleshwound_NPG
John Difool
Kungjitsu

How hard is John Fox rooting for the NFC in the Super Bowl?

Bortleback

He’ll be providing the winner of this game with Peyton’s secret shutdown command signal

jjfozz

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m trolling the Patriots subreddit right now.

I mean, I’m enjoying it, but I’m ashamed that I’m doing it.

Kind of like jerking off.

fleshwound_NPG

Patriots subreddit. Hell exists.

Gratliff

It’s about ethics in Boston Sports journalism.

Doktor Zymm

When the Giants beat the Pats in the Super Bowl both times, I went straight to internet comments sections. Pure Gold.

blaxabbath

U R A Hero.

litre_cola

Is it a conspiracy?

Smithchez

Just to be clear, we’re all rooting for whoever wins this game, right? (Donks fans excluded)

Col. Duke LaCross

Indubitably

Romonobyl

I don’t know if I have enough left to watch another game.

fleshwound_NPG

Timeout before a FG

Bruce, in that red outfit doing his Andy Reid impersonation

jjfozz

Manning vs Newton in the SB – Peter King’s shaft will be raw and chafed.

Kungjitsu

I wanted both AFC teams to lose, and I don’t care which NFC team wins. Cam is the coolest player ever, and Arians is the coolest coach ever.

litre_cola

Think Ray Carruth watches this in the big house and regrets some life choices?

Duchess

“I shouldn’t have given that guy my fruit cup today”

makeitsnowondem

Well, I’m celebrating with a big bottle of Lakewood Barrel Aged Temptress.

Doktor Zymm

I like the Cardinals a lot, but I think I’m gonna have to root for a Cam Newton Super Bowl.

fleshwound_NPG

Cam dabbing on the day we bury Manningbot T-2450927, therefore killing off thousands of sportswriters?

PLZ CAN I HAZ IT

Gratliff

I want Manning to trip while trying to shake his hand and Cam doing the Superman step unwittingly on his chest. Or wittingly. I’m not picky. The taeks. My god, the taeks.

blaxabbath

Weird — I’ve always thought of Cam like Dwight Howard; great talent who’d never lead a team to a title.

Howard still won’t do shit though. 1/2

jjfozz

Denver just ordered an upgrade patch for Manningbot. Ever heard of a company called SkyNet?

John Difool

Yea, they’re a subsidiary of Weyland-Yutani.

makeitsnowondem

I’ll be honest, I’m in favor of SkyNet going live if it means the Broncos win the last Super Bowl.

Doktor Zymm

Mmmm. Patriots schadenfreude and now the game I’ve been looking forward to since the middle of the season. What a fabulous day! GO BOTH TEAMS!

Romonobyl

Reverse meteor?

Doktor Zymm

IT’S RAINING WHISKEY AND KITTENS!

Senor Weaselo
fleshwound_NPG

Last two football games of the season I can watch with ease.

Thank you, based Wade Phillips.

Sill Bimmons

Dude
Is
A
Fucking
Mutant

theeWeeBabySeamus

See….now if they’d have let Cam field that punt, it would already be 7-0.

John Difool

How The Fuck You Doin’ Boy’s?
Had to push snow all day which made me miss 1 out of the 3 games we had left this season with the smartest funniest people this side of Al Gore’s internet….. which gives me a sad.

Col. Duke LaCross

Is there a team Ginn hasn’t dropped passes for?

litre_cola

Winnipeg Blue Bombers. Guessing.

jjfozz

I’m currently feasting on Irish coffee and large, dripping, frosty slices of Patriots’ Schadenfreude. It is pure ambrosia.

WCS

I know Blax is a Cardinals fan. Are there any Panthers fans ’round these parts?

Gratliff

Are there any Panthers fans round any parts?

WCS

That too.

Disengenuous Fake Smile

I am a lurker, but yes.

King Hippo

Huzzah, I don’t have to do next year’s preview!!

King Hippo

Charlotte is my hometown, so I have a secondary fondness for them. But they didn’t exist when I lived there.

Mother Puncher

Me. I always cheer for the best team each year.

blaxabbath

I’m not if they lose!

blaxabbath

Palmer not relaxed.

This is not good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I *hate* it when Palmer won’t relax.”

– Leland

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Another pic of a US women’s Soccer player (Alex Morgan this time)

http://data.whicdn.com/images/69888914/large.jpg

litre_cola

Good lord. Love female footballers.

King Hippo

I’d let her flag ME for offsides!!!

blaxabbath

Do not like Cortland Finnegan.

Doktor Zymm

I always get “Finnegan’s Wake” stuck in my head when he plays.

blaxabbath

Turf doesn’t look too bad.

WCS

That game really happened, right? This isn’t some fever dream or wonderful peyote hallucination?

King Hippo

and they actually gave the MVP to Von! Despite the Narrative ™ that it had to be Dreamboat or PeyPey.

King Hippo

Terrell Davis presenting the AFC trophy to Mrs. Bowlen. Awwwwwww

Why didn’t Jerry have one of his domestics do that for him.

litre_cola

Doesnt want em on tv as they are illegals.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So did anyone else have a mini heart attack when that Denver DB fumbled the ball on the two-point conversion? I forgot the situation and thought for a split second that the Patriots would get the ball back.

Old School Zero

I was fearful that they just McCree’d themselves.

Spanky Datass

Yes, but I’ve been drinking hence the “forgets”.

litre_cola

I am firmly behind Zona here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I am firmly behind ‘Tana.”

– Billy Pilgrim

Gratliff

My only rooting interest left in the playoffs is old white people schadenfreude. So I’ll just assume Cam is going to bury Arizona while I watch the Royal Rumble.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OHc2C-GIH4

Old School Zero
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

SUPER BOWL FITTY!

Col. Duke LaCross

They should make them fold that giant flag according to code.

Senor Weaselo

I would consider paying money to watch that.

Spur

I like both these teams. Am rooting for the Panthers cus fuck Peter King and I like free laptops.

Sill Bimmons

Discounted stolen laptops.

Allegedly.

Sill Bimmons

HEY MAW THUR LITTLE BIG TOWN GIT IT HEE FUCKIN HAW

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Jeez, I almost jinxed the last game.

While I enjoy PeyPey’s homage to Trent Dilfer, we are all in agreement that the NFC winner wins the super bowl handily.

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Spanky Datass

sup
trophy presentations suck boo

Fronkenshteen

Welcome to super bowl fifty!

theeWeeBabySeamus

It ain’t ‘Murrica unless we fuck over the national anthem.
Deal with it.

Bortleback

Does your national anthem even have music associated with it any more?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Define “music”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey….so now it’s finally time for the game that matters.
Right?

Mother Puncher

Joe Buck looks hungover af

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