I like to think I’m a fairly intelligent guy. I spent 19 years gittin’ schoolin’ and have earned a doctorate of law.

Slightly off-topic but a sure sign of an asshole is an attorney who insists on being called ‘doctor’ just because long ago it was decided to call a law school degree a ‘juris doctorate’; these people exist and should be scorned.

I read novels, I watch the more enlightened shows, I don’t feel any urge to vote for Trump and I read the goddamn New York Times pretty much cover to cover most days of the week.

I skim the Arts section.

Now and then the Times feels compelled to throw stories about science on the front page, rather than confine them to Tuesday’s Science section, where it goddamn well belongs. Today was one of those days. Apparently another one of Einstein’s theories has been confirmed, this one involving, uh, well, er, ah…shit.

OK so two black holes crashed into each other somewhere some ungodly distance from Earf and the resulting collision sent some kind of signal to us, specifically to two L-shaped building in Washington and Louisiana(!), where they hit some super-pure-laser-and-mirror vacuum and set off some sort of tune, apparently Middle C, which lasted second but confirmed that GRAVITY AND TIME DONE GOT BENT YA’LL, and that the energy equivalent to either three suns or three solar systems was wiped out in half a second and holy shit I read the article and focused and concentrated and took great big deep breaths and I. Don’t. Understand. What. Is. Happening.

The last time this happened was when they discovered the Higgs bosun. Bosen? Bosan? Botox?

In short, (too late!), there’s nothing like a good physics article to make me feel like a drooling moron, fit for no purpose greater than running for the GOP Presidential nomination.