Churning out another one pre-doctor visit. WOO!
Overview
Yay, as I walk in the Region of Death. I shall fear no evil, for at least they gave Cal a 4 seed. But other than that? Loaded. For. Bear.
There’s a Lot of Opportunities…
Miami. This region lines up very nicely for a cockroach, and Jim Larranaga has just the team for that role. They can take a beating, win ugly, play various styles and tempos. They also match up fairly well with Arizona, and the Wildcats have a tricky matchup of their own to survive in the first round anyway.
What Have I, What Have I, What Have I Done To Deserve This?
Villanova. Poor Jay Wright. Smarch just fucking hates him, and now the committee is piling on. In round 2, he will either get dragged into the mud by crosstown bruisers Temple and their matchup zone, or Iowa – who might be on a cold streak, but played like a Top 10 team for much of the season, and are VERY strong for a 7. As opposed to, say, FUCKING OREGON STATE. In the unlikely event they survive that gauntlet, their reward is probably Miami, a team whose guards are every bit as good, but with more toughness inside. And everyone but me has unstoppable Kansas awaiting in the regional final. Poor fucking guy. At least he still gets to bang his cheerleader wife every night. FOAR NOW.
Prediction/Confidence Level
Maryland (Low) I’m not sane, you know that. I never pick Kansas, which is why I never win.
Making berry soup.
3 lbs of frozen berries (blue, black, rasp, straw)
1 cup water
1/4 sugar
Add everything to microwave-safe dish and cook on high for 10 minutes. Beat with eggbeater/hand mixer. Cook on high for 5 more minutes. Beat again. You want a thick stew with most of your blueberries still intact. Everything else should be basically pureed. Let it cool and mix it with plain yogurt. It’s better, cheaper, and better for you than fruit-on-the-bottom. You can also thin it out and serve it as a chilled dessert gazpacho-type thing with shortbread and clotted cream.
1/4 cup sugar
Kansas is the worst to decide on. If you pick them to go far? They blow it early to some mid-major. Pick them to exit early? Final Four.
“Kansas is the worst”
FTFY
My internet ballistic missile is THIS big.
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/1992054-north-korea-threatens-us-says-it-could-burn-manhattan-down-to-ashes/
Spelling and grammar might be demonstrably worse in the Midwest and West. I have my Tussionex. Still have a nasty case of bronchitis, I just no longer care. WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Week of basketball, shitty parenting, and Tussionex dreams!
You really should have saved your worst spelling for the South region.
And maybe used your cheesiest jokes for the Midwest.
Hey I took Maryland too! Looks like we’re both idiots!
Total ………Terpage…… you terped bad.
/sorry
//not sorry
http://s1.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/teletubby-michigan-fan-college-basketball-fan-gifs.gif
I think it’s usually rendered “Yea”. Otherwise, it kind of reads as “WOOOOO! VALLEY OF DEATH! SPRING BREAK!!!”
You’re (sic) honor, I would like to plead having attended Cow College…
Jesus Hippo, it’s “Bovine University”, not Cow College! Those opiates are turning you into a Grade A moron.
I can’t believe Hippo expects us to swallow this tripe.
http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/minnestoa-fan-in-cow-costume-college-basketball-fan-gifs.gif
Van/Wich is also the best sloppy joe that you can get from a pedophile.
Every NCAA Tournament head coach’s favorite band:
http://www.cbssports.com/collegebasketball/eye-on-college-basketball/25516255/musical-march-madness-every-ncaa-tournament-coachs-favorite-band
Huggy loves the Eagles, man.
http://www.bdcwire.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/tumblr_m2zi4h5sH71rq1vxuo1_500.gif
Pitino’s not eligible this year, but his favorite band is The Minutemen.
Pretty sure he’s into this punk band because it makes him feel like more of a man in comparison:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/7_Seconds_(band)
I wonder what’s on a VAN/WICH.
I’m guessing it’s Chinese five-spice rubbed smoked brisket with mixed greens, soy-jicama slaw and wasabi aioli on a banh mi baguette.
Yes, I wonder…
Oh, you can get one of those at Trois Mec in Silver Lake. It’s actually called a VON/WICH, though. I used to order them back before they became so commercialized.
Obviously.
I’ve had the unfortunate position of bringing my girlfriend (also a UA grad) into Arizona fandom the last few years and, until this season, it’s gone pretty well. Sean Miller is the devil himself and his players are typically pretty likable (ex-Cat and ASG Slam Dunk Contest “Runner Up” Aaron Gordon was just on Ellen), plus the Pac-12 has been down. This season though, shit, she was ready to write off the season because they took a loss before January. I’m about ready to grab her by the ear and drag her to Dolphins training camp so she can learn to appreciate rooting for a team who, when they have a down year during which the conference is loaded, you still get a spot in the Dance.
That said, this Arizona team is the worst team in college basketball history. If Oregon didn’t actively recruit rapists….well, I have nothing to add to that; I just like pointing it out. Even the biggest homers have no faith that this Arizona team is going anywhere and, if they do somehow stumble into a game against Kansas or the like, they’re going to lose by 50.
This is probably my favorite playoff, because I legitimately have no dog in this fight, and other than hating Duke as every decent American should, I don’t care who wins or loses. This, of course, means two things:
1. I get to actually enjoy every game I watch!
2. I get to watch my bracket fall apart by the first Saturday!
Anyway, I put in my picks, and now we will see how poorly I do.
In NFL news, Phil Dawson signs for (almost exactly) pi dollars on Pi Day.
Is he a NERRRRRRDDDDD for signing that way, or are we NERRRRRRRDDDDDDDs for noticing? I confused. Or maybe just high.
Well, it wasn’t EXACTLY pi so I think it’s just coincidence.
Signing for Pi is a great idea, because they can never stop paying you.
That’s true of any irrational or repeating number.
Both of which describe Bobby Bonilla’s contract.