Basketball Coma – Thursday Evening Edition

Oh well, brackets are dead. Now, we can excise our souls of filthy lucre, and focus on the purity of hate.

14S Buffalo vs. 3S Miami (6:50, TNT)

Behold, the bland competence of Jim Larranaga and the prettay…prettay good Miami Hurricanes. If you can look past the fact that NC State whipped their asses. I wouldn’t count on Buffalo circling the wagons on them tonight, though.

12E Chattanooga vs. 5E Indiana (7:10, CBS)

This one screams “upset city” to me, so if you are gambling-inclined, bet the mortgage/food/insulin money on the Hoosiers.

16(T)E FGCU vs. 1E U*NC (7:20, TBS)

SO MANY INITIALS! As a red-blooded American (whose alma mater has never been a 1 seed in the expanded format era, if ever), I always root like mad for the 16 seed in their Quixotic quest to topple the windmillian #1. I assure you I have never done so harder than I will tonight. AMERICA NEEDS YOU, valiant soldiers of the Credit Union squadron.

14MW Fresno State vs. 3MW Utah (7:27, truTV)

Oh, hai there, Team Secular Big Love, hoops edition. Are you any good? Not really, huh? At least you’re honest. Still probably enough to get to the Sweet Sixteen, and almost certainly enough to get past this ragtag bunch.

11(T)S Wichita State vs. 6S Arizona (9:20, TNT)

Wichita State advanced by 20 in the play-in game, and looked like shit doing so. That’s quite difficult to pull off. Nobody fucking knows what to expect out of Sean Miller’s bunch, last seen getting their pants pulled down around their ankles by a gaggle of Ducks (and no, that better not be the last Oregon rape joke we read on DFO tonight).

13E Stony Brook vs. 4E Kentucky (9:40, CBS)

Caffeinate for this one, it could be interesting. Kentucky is an up and down team, and the Seawolves have a REALLY good power forward who could make things mighty uncomfortable for Coach Cal’s bunch.

9E Providence vs. 8E Southern Cal (9:50, TBS)

MOAR offensive basketball, huzzah! The Men of Troy are led by Coach Andy, the man who led the aforementioned Credit Union side when they had their “Dunk City” S16 run. Beet juice is apparently their secret now, so look for frequent “coach, I need to take a shit” timeouts. Also, Providence is better than people think. Dangerous team if they make it through.

11MW Gonzaga vs. 6MW Seton Hall (9:57, truTV)

Ah, Gonzaga. Finally, having fallen out of favour with the committee, and having burned through all of their ancient Cinderella fan goodwill…watch the fuckwads stop fucking around and start winning games now that nobody’s picking them. There IS some talent there. And the Hall may just have shot their wad taking out Nova for the conference crown.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Pur-derp.

JustStopDude

You folks should read the doozy of an email the head of our HR sent out.

Near as I can tell, she was afraid morale was too high in the company…

WCS

Yeah, I hate it when that happens…

...

The tales of your employer actually make me feel a bit better about the pack of shitheads who run my company.

I mean, I still work for idiots, but at least I’m not alone.

JustStopDude

A good part of the email actually involves the company violating US labor law.

Which considering how fucking pathetic worker protections are in the South…is pretty breathtaking…

Sill Bimmons

No matter how big my company gets, it will never have an HR department.

HR is evil, is a revenue black hole, is evil, is bad for morale, is evil, and should always be outsourced.

JustStopDude

I don’t really have a problem with HR because I view it for what it is…an office function to protect the company from any and all liability. So I naturally view HR in the same manner I view the police, child molesters, and dog shit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Purdue has zero interest in winning this game

scotchnaut

One might say ‘stupid’. But if it goes in…

ThePirateSloth

Hey did you know that Purdue doesn’t have a point guard on the floor?

In case you didn’t know, Purdue does not have a point guard on the floor.

Sill Bimmons

I also hear that Jimmy Graham used to play this game.

scotchnaut

“Purdue doesn’t like being pressed.”

-Mr. Obvious

bourb0nblues

Six blocks? Get that man a sandwich, he deserves it.

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

DUMBASSSSSS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Game

Sill Bimmons

Should have been.

Sill Bimmons

AND DA HIZZOUZE JUST WENT BIZZIZZAZZZZZZZZOUZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was that an AIRBALL?

scotchnaut

SMALL STONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Shut up, it’s the same size it’s always been!”

– Nate Solder

Sill Bimmons

PIERRE PETIT

...

Purdue has looked like the shittier team of the two here. This does not bode well for them.

Sill Bimmons

THIS IS A MYTH A MYTH MYTH MYTH

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Doktor Zymm

I’m actively rooting against most of my bracket now. I want to have the worst bracket with the final picked correctly. It’s a lofty goal, but what can I say, I’ve got big dreams!

Sill Bimmons

Aim for the ceiling so you can hit the basket!

Doktor Zymm

What does she think of Trump?

Sill Bimmons

Who let the Goonies kid on the court?

ThePirateSloth

Brand is totally going to be in deep shit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

University of Central Arkansas would have* kicked the shit out of both of these teams

*Assuming Scottie Pippen is available in his prime and still has NCAA eligibility

WCS

Was that the first field-goal made in OT?

Gratliff

Almost time for Dunk City-UNC. I NEED some tarheel schadenfreude.

Sill Bimmons

Don’t see it happening, but I’m right there with you.

scotchnaut

13 steals for The Rock-love the way they play.

theeWeeBabySeamus

FML….gotta head back to fambly and keep one eye on TV.
Sonsabitches…Bumpusses!!!!!

Sill Bimmons

vvvvvvvvFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT^^^^^^^^

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey….that was good shot selection Purdue.
WTF???????????????????????????????

Gratliff

What the fuck was any of that?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

WTF is a player control foul?

scotchnaut

This was my 12-5 upset.[gets down on knees] PLEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gratliff

RIGHT?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not gonna lie, this made me check who I picked. (Purdue in DFO, Little Rock in friends from HS bracket)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am positively SHOCKED the announcers haven’t said the word “momentum” yet

theeWeeBabySeamus

JFC….just stand there and waste 4 second why don’t you dickhead?????

bourb0nblues

WTF Purdue

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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WCS

WHAT’S THE SQUARE ROOT OF THIS GAME

Sill Bimmons

ZERO

...

Purdue *really* fucked that up.

Sill Bimmons

lviunyeorunbwpieytvboqiwybro

Sill Bimmons

That’s almost coherent for a keyboard slam.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Gratliff

I may be the only person who picked Purdue to lose

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What the fuck, Purdue?

scotchnaut

I like exciting games. They are very exciting!

Sill Bimmons

NOAP

WCS

Hey, an exciting game in the NCAA Tournament. What a concept.

Sill Bimmons

double wat

Sill Bimmons

wat

bourb0nblues

and again

bourb0nblues

Ball goes to Little Rock on that one. Easy call.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Missed 5 straight field goals? More like TURD-UE, amirite?

Sill Bimmons

PURD-SNEW

...

No, no, no. It’s Pur-POO.

Idiot.

Sill Bimmons

THEIR SHIT

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

http://www.avclub.com/article/sausage-party-red-band-trailer-hosts-plenty-red-ho-233791

Normally, I’d ignore this movie, but some of the storyboard artist for this movie worked on Ed, Edd, and Eddy. So this summer I’m gonna wildly throw away money to see the rich man’s Foodfight.

/Damn you nostalgia

theeWeeBabySeamus

As always when I have a sporting even going on that I care ’bout….I got unrekkonizing fambly types fucking up my shit.
I hope to be back within an hour. If it’s longer than that, I will be hostile whenever I do finally return.
(correction….more hostile than usualz)

theeWeeBabySeamus

*event
GODDAMMIT!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I always do that anyway. It nevar works.

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