Basketball Coma – Friday Afternoon Edition

MOAR Arkansas-Little Rocks, amirite?? Please, in the name of BLEERGH?

10MW Syracuse vs. 7MW Dayton (12:15, CBS)

PRO TIP (and you should DEFINITELY listen to me, what with my 10% success rate yesterday) – the major conference team that gets in despite near-unanimous opinion that it had no business doing so…tends to end up winning at least their first game. And this Dayton team is kind of a hot mess. But here’s some Alice in Chains for beloved fellow wolven alum Arch Miller:

15S UNC-Asheville vs. 2S Villanova (12:40, truTV)

Fun fact, my mom spent her first two years of college at UNC-A (my kinfolk come from the mountains) before marrying my Dad and finishing up at NC State. This does not, sadly, make them any better at basketball.

10W VCU vs. 7W Oregon State (1:30, TNT)

No longer coached by Michelle Obama’s brother, nobody gives a shit about the Beavers no more…and yet here they are. Weakest 7 by a mile, so watch them beat the Rams like a rented mule. This was not a banner year for the A-10.

13S Hawaii vs. 4S California (2:00, TBS)

We don’t give a damn how you did it up north WOO!!! I picked the mighty Rainbow Warriors in every bracket, as Cal is a West Coast version of LSU. ESPN drools over the “NBA talent” but that does not a good team make. Hawaii’s guards will run circles around the Bears (sorry, Covalent).

15MW Middle Tennessee vs. 2MW Michigan State (2:45, CBS)

The good news for the Blue Raiders is that they avoided being a 16 seed! The bad news is that I lied about there being any good news.

10S Temple vs. 7S Iowa (3:10, truTV)

A trip to the Sweet Sixteen is on the line, as everybody knows Jay Wright is cursed in the 2nd round. Despite their late swoon, I have a sneaking Iowa feeling. Probably just gas.

15W CS-Bakersfield vs. 2W Oklahoma (4:00, TNT)

Tough draw for Team Baskets. Start watching that show, you heathens. On the other sideline, this really could be Lon Kruger’s year.

12S South Dakota State vs. 5S Maryland (4:30, TBS)

You’re a jackrabbit, you ain’t foolin’ no one. Better run for the hills, don’t look back.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So get this – in my money bracket I had the Midwest picked perfectly – that means FOUR correctly called upsets – until this morning. YOU SUCK SPARTANS!

Sill Bimmons

Interesting thing I just learned: Tim Horton is the oldest player ever to play for the Ice Stillers.

BRING BACK CHERRY TIMBITS

http://s3.amazonaws.com/foodspotting-ec2/reviews/2220696/thumb_600.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!

Sill Bimmons

That’s a wrap on Wrapp!

Horatio Cornblower

That’s the biggest opossum I’ve ever seen.

Sill Bimmons

Wow.

hotels.com just called Donald Trump an orangutan.

herodotus450

Love how the kids in the back are just kinda bored at first, watching some morons try to show off.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Name five things more dangerous than riding a giant fucking motorcycle RIGHT NEXT to your kid on a trike. You can’t.

ThePirateSloth

Leaving a loaded pistol in the back seat of the car where you’ve recently put your toddler, while being a pro-gun activist.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dangerous for myself?
Or dangerous for the shitfuck kid?
There’s a difference.

Sill Bimmons

Just seems like a bad idea in general.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No argument there.
But if I survive the carnage, there’s always hope.
Kid’s not smart enough to look out for heself…he gets what he deserves.

Sill Bimmons

Dawww.

Ever since John Cheney threatened to kill John Calipari in front of an entire room full of reporters I’ve had a special place in my heart for Temple.

http://philanation.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Temples-John-Chaney-290×160.png

herodotus450
Croooow

Wow, clutch put-back for Iowa.

ThePirateSloth

Nerd posting

I just realized where else I know Zymm’s bracket name from other than classic German literature. A Star Wars book, Heir to The Empire, which introduced two awesome characters in the SW universe… who sadly, are no longer canon. One of those characters had 2 pets named Sturm and Drang, because the creatures were violent and aggressive.

I am a huge fucking nerd.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Truly heroic

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thor would be proud.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I would have preferred rocket straight to the nerd-balls, but this will do.

Horatio Cornblower

That got him right on the inside of the knee; that is fucking painful.

The Maestro

IOWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Gratliff

Holy jesus. Did I miss an eventful afternoon. How many people still have their final four intact?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

It’s missing the panicked cry/laugh/creaming. -1

Gratliff

That’s an unfortunate typo. Oh well, they’re both legal now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, typo or not, that was fucking funny.

Tosh.0 had these girls on his show and made a couple of “legal” references.

theeWeeBabySeamus

DAMMIT…stop making me laugh so hard. You fuckwads are gonna make me vomit me preshus vodka. And I bought the good shit today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Pyrrhic save

scotchnaut

Look at you, Temple-lina!

Sill Bimmons

I’ve done this.

I’m glad there were no cell phone cameras back then.

comment image

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Ha. That Hail Mary shot pegged a cheerleader.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In a manner of speaking…….

ThePirateSloth

Maybe the cheerleader will revenge peg the player if they end up losing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pornhub is listening….

Horatio Cornblower

Currently I’m tied for 17th in the DFO contest. A bunch of people tied at 1, then a bunch tied at 10, then a bunch tied at 17. It’s pretty funny.

Horatio Cornblower

Incidentally the best name in that contest is Pirate Sloth’s “A Bracket Full of Nuggets”

ThePirateSloth

Thank you!

But I already ate all the nuggets. Sorry.

Sill Bimmons

Nuggetology is part of the Scripps curriculum at Ohio U. now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Currently in the group of 10s.
Not for long.

Horatio Cornblower

I have Oklahoma winning it all and there’s only one other idi…uh, DFO’er that picked that so as long as they win out I’m probably OK.

ThePirateSloth

So I’ve been busy with shit all day long and just hopped online to watch the games.

What in the fuck happened to Mich St?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

BALLER

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

If you delete all that shit on the end of the URL does it still post?

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/wikiality/images/c/cf/South-park-meets-cthulhu-06.jpg

Sill Bimmons

Yep!

Croooow

Iowa just fouled Temple on a 3 point attempt. Holy wow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

/dying laughing

theeWeeBabySeamus

Me too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hypno-gif too.

...

Iowa fucked up there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

Don’t give a rat’s ass about my projected champ losing in the first round. Great basketball is great basketball.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

Go Cinderella teams!

8 or lower to win it all!

BURN ALL THE BRACKETS!

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO….Dok climbing the standings by default?
/checks leaderboard

Nope.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

I hit someone in the head with a javelin.

I saw him in the field right before I threw it so I checked up and sailed it, the middle of it landed right on his bean.

If I hadn’t checked up I wouldn’t have hit him.

Unsurprised

His fault

Sill Bimmons

50/50 in my book.

Unsurprised

Nah. He should’ve kept his head on a swivel when people are throwing goddamn javelins on the field.

Doktor Zymm

A consequence of picking my bracket highly randomly and not really having any allegiance other than Duke hate is an ability to be amused by the demise of my own bracket. It’s a highly entertaining destruction this year.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry…I’m LMFAO’ing too hard at Moose’s discus gif to reply properly.
But Dok…you’re awesome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

It took me a moment to figure out what the hell happened there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What was the intent here….I wonder to meself?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sexy pose…… GONE WRONG!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

No, that one I totally got.
I was talking ’bout the….errant ultralite midflight transfer(?) off the top of an SUV gone wrong(?)…I think…?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think they were trying to do a switch trick; notice the guy below reaching, then bailing.

Unsurprised

Deleted Scene from Beyond Thunderdome.

WCS

Check this out before it gets fixed:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_Tennessee_Blue_Raiders_men%27s_basketball

Someone doesn’t know how to wikipedia.

...

My most favorite Wikipedia edit ever was when someone took the entire page about cats, deleted it, and replaced it with two words: “Cats suck!”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahahah.
They don’t teach formatting or fact checking in Murfreesboro.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And there’s a shitload of us with a BIG RED BOX and a strikethrough on “Michigan State” now.
FUCK YOU ESPN….The flagship my fucking ass.

Silver lining….I can now root against UMd (Go Jacks!!!!), U*NC (Go Friars!!!!) and Duke (Go Bulldogs…really…Yale is the Bulldogs??? Ummm….go more Northerly white douches…yes better)….

Without worrying about my barckets.

scotchnaut

My eternal gratitude to you, Spartacus, for clearing the way for Syracuse to win the championship.

[Orange loses to MTSU by 30 on Sunday]

theeWeeBabySeamus

Looking at barckets….looking at barckets….
What’s best for me going forward….
Wow….not a goddamned thing….yay, alcohol and golf the rest of the weekend.
Thank you Sparty.

...

I have UVA coming out of this bracket, so this helps my chances of beating all of you degenerates for that sweet non-existent DFO prize.

...

And now I’m first!

/will fall out of first when Temple loses

herodotus450

I’m sure they can scare up some baggy white clothing in St. Louis.

I haven’t seen Spartans taking a beating like that since the battle of Leuctra.

Horatio Cornblower

This certainly undermines MSU’s pissing and moaning that they should have been a 1 seed.

WCS
Sill Bimmons

I am coming around on the NCAA tournament being better than the Stanley Cup playoffs simply because the NCAA is a lot more fun.

Rather than grinding your teeth into dust watching Game Six of a Rags/Craps series where you want everyone on the ice to die, you get to see happy things like this.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I agree in principle.
But you might be playing fast and loose with the definition of “happy”.

The Maestro

I’m not even mad that my bracket is busted.

The Maestro

Actually, it’s all kind of funny to me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not either.
/throws cat out the window

Horatio Cornblower

There’s your problem MSU; you ain’t always reppin’.

Horatio Cornblower

I need a shot of Magic Johnson somewhere.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Acyclovir for evahbody.

scotchnaut

If you were a Lakers cheerleader in the 80’s you’d already have had several.

The Maestro

YUUUUUUGE BLOCK

Croooow

Funeral for my bracket will be held at my toilet at 7:00 PM.

scotchnaut

Me:”Michigan State is done!”

In-Laws: “Great! When do we eat?”

Horatio Cornblower

Izzo not so fun coaching now is it Tom?

/I’m so sorry.