Remember that scene in “The Great Outdoors” where John Candy is trying to eat that 96-oz steak (one has to suspend disbelief and pretend that would be a challenge), and Dan Aykroyd insists he’s finished. “There’s nothing left on that plate but fat and gristle!”
Ladies and gentlemen, your fat and gristle…
10E Pittsburgh vs. 7E Wisconsin (6:50, TNT)
The bland leading the bland. Anytime one of these sides is ahead, feel free to use this historically apt line.
14E Stephen F. Austin vs. 3E West By God Virginia (7:10, CBS)
Taking on all of The King of Track Suits’ men seems like a mighty tall order for one dude, even if’n he is from Texas.
14W Green Bay vs. 3W Texas A&M (7:20, TBS)
Both of these professional sports organizations are far more known for their footy pursuits, so what an interesting fish out of water tale this shall be!
16(T)W Holy Cross vs. 1W Oregon (7:27, truTV)
No means quack?
15E Weber State vs. 2E Xavier (9:20, TNT)
Harold “The Show” Arcineaux ain’t walking through that door, which is too bad, because Xavier be ripe for the pluckin.’
11(T)E Michigan vs. 6E Notre Dame (9:40, CBS)
Something about Desmond Howard and Rocket Ismail.
11W Northern Iowa vs. 6W Texas (9:50, TBS)
This makes me think about former Panther RB David Johnson, who will be my top keeper next season, and now I really wants it to be football season already. Also, FUCK TEXAS and FUCK SHAKA SMART.
9W Cincinnati vs. 8W St. Joseph’s (9:57, truTV)
Phil Martelli looks exactly the same as when he coached that Elite Eight squadron, which I think was like 15 years ago. Pretty sure he bathes in toddler blood. Also pretty sure he would kick Mick Cronin’s ass in a fight, which would make this game worth watching.
I fucking detest half time banter…
MAKE A FUCKING SHOT SOMEBODY
This is just astonishing.
THIS IS WHY YOU STOP HITLER AT MUNICH, GODDAMN IT!
oh FUCK no
At least it’s not Atlas Shrugged.
He’s a little late to the party:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0041386/
Thing I learned on Wikipedia recently; an acquaintance of mine from high school worked at Gawker until 2007, when she quit because she felt bad about having to write bitchy stuff about people all the time.
I actually have a friend that worked overseas as a journo. They kept basically linking to his content without any citation or anything. He ended up having to go through the AP to threaten them with a lawsuit.
Apparently that Nick Denton clown clown contacted him and claimed my buddy should be happy for the exposure.
Again…they were posting his content without any citation.
Yes, “exposure.” The bullshit new media peddles to justify stealing shit from other people. The correct answer when offered “exposure” as payment to tell them that if they think it’s worth justifying ad space, it’s worth paying its creator.
And their stupid pissing match with Conde Nast and Reddit was great because they genuinely seem to think they’re better than Reddit.
Motherfuckers. 95% of the reason I’m so interested in IP law is because of sites stealing my brother’s photos every goddamn day.
I’ve never really paid much attention to Gawker, so it’s been pretty enlightening to learn just how goddamn sleazy they really are.
Holy shit the Hulk got $115 mill?
http://i.imgur.com/0BMcwt5.gif
Like how now is Gawker media going to unpay interns to post links to content?
They’re going to pay him in dickpics.
The funniest part about the whole thing is how Gawker tried to defend its posting of what is basically tabloid bullshit as if they were practicing some sort of impactful journalism.
There are handful of writers there I like, but most are the sort of smug assholes who peddle tripe and try to pass it off as ironic.
They hired the girl who wrote the Tarantino’s chode email for fuck’s sake.
I googled that and eugh…
Like Gawker ever paid interns, pfft.
Derp…I meant to say “Not pay”…implying that yes…they never play their interns or most of their “writers” to begin with.
Oh no those poor shrill aging Brooklyn hipsters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yikNhPh9n8
Huggs is going to cut Nate Adrian’s throat in the locker room like Gus Fring.
As well he should. Think of ME, King of Track Suits, I got nobody I even mildly approve of if you’ns go down.
Ape is an asshole.
GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Now you know my pain.
Allie wants a lollipop? Volunteers?
She could bite it off when finished and I’d still volunteer.
http://data.whicdn.com/images/10366637/original.jpg
My reaction to the results of my bracket at this point….
Nice hat
http://i.imgur.com/ryh89Vx.gif
All about the hat…
First comment is a gas.
On my mind:
1. What sort of liability coverage Gawker could have
2. Whether “if any” is a meaningless affectation
3. If I can have another drink before They come home
The last one is “yes”.
The rest won’t matter after the drink.
Yep; an after “Sorry” is better than a before “Excuse me”
1. This is the question that gives us textbook caselaw.
2. Yes
3. Yes
1) Hulk hopes for a big “umbrella” but I doubt it
2) Fuckin’ lawyers, man
3) YES (/pops another pill)
Wha that hillbilly done?
Since my own alma mater is…(ahem) “not involved” this year…and since Sparty shat the bed and burned me barckets to the ground….I feel strangely liberated.
Now it’s all about watching the rest of you poor bastards suffer.
Schadenfreude, bitches!!!!!!!!
/sorry not sorry
This would have been useful to recap Super Bowl L.
I bet he….
[sunglasses]
….sticks the landing.
DOWN GOES THE REF
Eh there eh…these boys from Greenbay are pretty fun to watch…
Being lectured to by way of comparison to porn star friends of my brother is really depressing, but he makes a valid point. If they’re willing to do what they’ve done, I am just being lazy.
“If they’re willing to get blasted in the face to work towards their goals, what’s your excuse?” — actual words spoken to me.
I can’t wait for the hot takes over how Hulk is getting (before punitive) more than twice what Erin Andrews gets. Though Erin also asked for less, which was her own damn fault.
Will EA actually get anything though? It was just some dude, he doesn’t have 110 million.
$28 million comes from Hilton.
Oh right. They didn’t do the actual filming though, just facilitated it. I have no idea what the Hulk case was about, I’m assuming it was a sex tape with his daughter? Actually nevermind I don’t want to know.
Some DJ’s wife.
TBF, it’s not like Hulk’s getting $115M. That was the joke at the bottom of the page. Gawker can pay him in Favre dickpics, but not in cash.
Pretty sure she sued Marriott as well.
They’re the ones who are going to pay.
Yeah, that’s the chain I meant.
I still cannot fathom how badly that hotel and staff fucked up. They deserve everything thrown at them…
It’s not like they were the security check guys at Logan who let the 9/11 hijackers pass.
I think the staff knowingly gave Perv Man the room next to hers on purpose.
I’m just going to shut up now.
Yeah pretty much its come out that they knew this guy had a protection order against him…and they set him up with a room next to her.
I travel a lot…and I have dealt with a very scary stalker situation. To me, this whole scenario makes my fucking skin crawl when I think about it.
They also have emails were the management were cutting jokes about the whole situation when it came out.
An argument for paying your staff a living wage?
Oddly enough, that article will be linked on Jezebel.
Yvonne Craig from Batman.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/a27e6dee9e8b40462082833f55a14d05/tumblr_nfnm5flVzv1u2602to1_500.gif
KEEP YER FECES out the bed and in the outhouse where it belongs, cousinfuckers….
I was just about to ask if anyone had literally or figuratively shit the court while I was at a work happy hour. Now I know which channel to turn to!
http://memeguy.com/photos/images/uhntss-uhntss-uhntss-150877.gif
Oh good. I didn’t want to sleep well tonight.
If Dana Jacobsen punched in the mouth you’d go down.
Hey, hey!
No violence required. Would go down voluntarily.
But bitch, stop bogarting me Vodka.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt9sbdnjHE1r0hgato1_500.jpg
Wow.
Just…wow.
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lupkdo6fCl1r6agjbo1_500.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsgk70SeKr1r0hgato1_1280.jpg
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/205/251/hansenlol.jpg
Just in case the kids don’t succumb to my usual advances?
The one time it pays to be a fat fuck.
22 — 16.
Ho. Lee. Fuk.
Sum. Ting Wong.
Wi. Too. Low.
http://i736.photobucket.com/albums/xx4/amberdare/waynesworld14.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltphekwcyj1qbpwzeo1_500.jpg
Yu Mei Suk.
Dei Suk Mo
This game is a masterclass in how not to play basketball.
There’s nothing funny about a dickless moron with a battery up his ass.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu0dy369nx1qcbo9lo1_1280.jpg
http://img.lovemyprofile.com/68/I_love_the_80s.gif
Probable Cause in one photo.
10 points in 17 minutes, no wonder they hired that interim Badger guy full-time.
Barry Alvarez is going to fire him at halftime, and coach the second.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/7fe51e74f417af617efa19ac074722b6/tumblr_mrhseywmg51r3gb3zo1_400.gif
Allie LaForce literally means Allie “The Force”.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l27vm7ZeJn1qzafigo1_500.jpg
Now with GI Joe kung-fu grip?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lserrbk0w21r0hgato1_500.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq3ulwPoL41qlhe27o1_250.jpg
It’s like Father is a new man!
Sorry for ruining the joke.
I THINK YOU ADDED TO IT….
EVERYTHING IS COMING UP MILHOUSE!
Sweet Allie Laforce
That scratchy voice just makes me want to…..
/wipes brow
//shuts up
MARCH MADNESS has been brought to you by: Breakaway Paramilitary Uniforms, Ortopure Procreation Pill, and Cadre Cola; it hits the spot!
Promotional considerations paid for by: Kelton Flame Throwers, Wainwright Electrical Launchers, and Hammond & Gage Chainsaws.
Damon Killian’s wardrobe by Chez Antoinne: 19th-Century craftsmanship for the 21st-Century man.
Cadre Trooper and studio-guard side arms provided by Colchester: the pistol of patriots.
Remember: Tickets for the ICS studio tour are always available for Class-A citizens in good standing.
If you’d like to be a contestant on THE RUNNING MAN, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to: ICS Talent Hunt, care of your local affiliate, and then go out and do something really despicable!
I’m Phil Hilton! Good night, and take care!
Sorry. I got lazy.
No, that’s not Mountaineer basketball. Mountaineer basketball would be missing the dunk off a fast break, while somehow committing a charge.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr17x4IHd31qlhe27o1_400.jpg
My Pitt prediction looks good!
vvvvvvv ^^^^^^^
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/43987493.jpg
I guess images can’t be nominated for banner quotes, eh?
But if they could….
I have them in the S16 in all 4 brackets! A testament to how little I think of Wiscy and X.
When da fuq did Pitt learn basketballing?
Cheeky bastards.
SFA’s point guard is like 3 feet tall!
Less than a minute in, and Nate Adrian already has a foul? That’s about right.
http://rs1104.pbsrc.com/albums/h321/The_Guru_66/Tumbleweed_Rolling.gif
Appropriate:
BAE Systems: Just a friendly reminder to all you legislators out there that we make all manner of shit that goes bang too.
BREAKING NEWS: Jury awards Hulk Hogan $115 million in compensatory damages in his sex tape case. Gawker Media, Nick Denton, AND AJ Daulerio are all held responsible. Apparently there may be more in punitive damages to come as well.
Sucks that this will probably be Gawker’s death knell only because they gave us Deadspin. Pretty much everything else they write can die in a fire.
I’m going out on a limb and predicting a slight collections problem.
How does TWELVE BIG ONES sound to ya NOW, Magary??
Down to $11.98 in weak trading.
He can’t hear you.
http://s3cf.recapguide.com/img/tv/117/7×4/The-Simpsons-Season-7-Episode-4-1-78f9.jpg
I’ve always liked Jalopnik.
Same here. ion9 can be alright, too.
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/holy_shit_keegan_michael_key.gif
I DIDN’T THINK THE TAPE WAS THAT GOOD!
Good. Fuck them.
Seconded. Good for the Hulkster. Hopefully the marshalls attach enough assets to cover the framing costs of the judgment.
If he’s not already FB friends with Fred Goldman, I’m sure he will be tomorrow.
/reads
//googles Fred Goldman
///?????OF COURSE???
I can’t listen to the youtube clips, but Google “brian posehn fred goldman”
(text version: http://ihavegoodtaste.tumblr.com/post/50913496/fred-goldman-alert)
He can print out hundreds of Brett Favre dickpic photos for decoration.
Alright, you guys. Uproxx is next.
https://twitter.com/UweBollocks/status/710965226733236224
Tease
So meteor failed again?
There’s still time between any additional evidence for punitive damages and, of course, appeals.
Maryland D ate the stupid pills
Maryland survives.
Good start!
On a more positive note, here’s a HuffPo roundup of white people jokes ahead of Duke-Yale:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/yale-duke-march-madness_us_56eb3a0ae4b084c6721fda68
Beyond them being Duke and Yale basketball?
That is a terrible call.
This is terrible news:
http://deadspin.com/reports-ravens-cornerback-tray-walker-dies-after-motor-1765805208
On a more solemn note, Ravens CB Tray Walker did not survive the injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident last night:
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/15009499/tray-walker-baltimore-ravens-dies-dirt-bike-accident
As much as I despise the Ravens, this goes beyond general sports rivalries. RIP.
Yeah, that’s a kick in the pants. Sad time for his family and his team.
Yep. My team, but that don’t matter.
RIP young man.
O AN U NOE WCS GON DRANKKKK BULLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DAT CHUH CHUH
/WVU loses by 18