Well, the NFL Competition Committee did the expected and passed the automatic ejection (or “Burfict”) rule today. A quizzical second change was the addition of the touchback from a kick now being placed at the 25 instead of the 20, which is pretty much going to ensure placekickers try to aim for the 5 yard line.
Dear God – the Rams are going to be on “Hard Knocks”. Cue the whistful homage to the midwestern kid moving to LA to make it big! Then, get ready for a whole day of Jeff Fisher being clumily accepted onto movie sets in exchange for sideline access. I can’t wait for all the Hollywood mustache comparisons.
In addition, the Rams will host a game in China in 2018, whose leaders will no doubt give Stan Kroenke new ideas about labour management & stadium policing.
Some scouts have compared Jared Goff to Jay Cutler. That’s just mean – he’s had all his shots,
Over at the MMQB, there’s a video of Peter King spending four minutes blowing Jerry Jones. Even with the sound off, I could tell he swallowed everything Jones had.
Speaking of Peter King, his favourite rapist is apparently getting a plea bargain to serve between 15-20 years. I guess it beats consecutive sentences, and he will be eligible to purchase admission to the Hall of Fame in 2031 at the earliest.
Sean Payton is staying with the Saints for 5 more years, so will be around to pick Drew Brees’ replacement.
Merchandise note – Mitchell & Ness released their “Best selling jersey by state” map – links here and here. I’ve got nothing to say about the list, but I do love their product.
Politics: I suppose it was inevitable that the wives eventually got dragged into it.
First, this happened: (she is purdy)
Some PAC affiliated to Cruz sent this picture to Mormon followers on Instagram. I’m not exactly sure whom it besmirches more – Trump, or his wife – since they more-than-seem to imply to Mormon voters that voting for Cruz would keep both a political and actual whore out of the White House. But either way, it’s goal was to encourage people to vote for Cruz.
Trump, naturally, took all things in stride and…NOPE! It quickly degenerated into, “You took a shot at my wife, so I’m taking one at yours.”
I’m guessing he used that crack research team he had lying around after checking out OBUMMERS birth certificate was put to use trying to find dirt on anyone left opposing him competing against him in the race.
The best part is that Cruz can claim plausible deniability because it wasn’t his campaign but a group friendly to his campaign that put out the tweet. But do you really want to start a political dirty war with Donald Trump?
Random athletics: If you want to lose a good four minutes, please to enjoy this video on the changing nature of Wrestlemania entrances. Come for the nostalgia; stay for the evolution of the mullet.
The unscripted games! (All times eastern)
NHL: (2 games total)
- Sens @ Islanders – 7:00
- Bruins @ Rangers – 8:00
NBA: (12 games total)
- Raptors @ Celtics – 7:30
- Heat @ Spurs – 8:30
- Mavs @ Blazers – 10:00
- Clippers @ Warriors – 10:30
NCAA: more NIT Nastiness!
- Florida vs George Washington – 7:00
- San Diego State vs Georgia Tech – 9:00
Oh god – everyone’s saying “Batman V Superman” sucks. I DON’T CARE!
Sweet dreams.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/7da700e13c4cd34f69e6b3e841deca5f/tumblr_mqmr6jmlv61ql1zg6o1_500.gif
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-015kRrIgxik/UQVfoDl5f9I/AAAAAAAAH7k/UjfCQlD8fm4/s1600/girl-jumping.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/1cba7bd03a75abbbea5795d563246843/tumblr_n6mq2zUNp01somw7ho2_400.gif
Time for bed. ‘night all. Good luck WCS.
http://img.pandawhale.com/72899-Blazing-Saddles-punch-horse-gi-NhaB.gif
Yeah, me too.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/cf6ac23c483d6b49ca40933f37d7f239/tumblr_mshz9bp0JG1sgk2ito1_500.gif
http://madmaxz.com/wp-content/uploads/farret-legging-Obscure-Sports.gif
http://www.bromygod.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Helen-Flanagan-004-03032014.gif
http://www.strangeracer.com/images/content/176762.gif
http://www.bromygod.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Helen-Flanagan-007-03032014.gif
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NGzsuH197pY/UpY6DzNkSzI/AAAAAAAABL4/IxVzxlTBRhM/s1600/strange.gif
http://img.pandawhale.com/89940-get-your-pies-for-the-great-pi-gU1v.gif
h
ttp://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Osw5CfkFC5s/Tp4bYkleQkI/AAAAAAAAClM/-zesQbrtRbc/s1600/1315087424-lexa2.gif
http://www.strangesports.com/images/content/132827.gif
Ooh, that’s the good stuff.
http://deadpixel.xxx/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/helen-flanagan-fhm-busty-girl-boob-bounce-tits-titties-titty-drop-jiggle-bouncy-sexy-naked-topless-zoo.gif
http://img.pandawhale.com/72763-blazing-saddles-dance-gif-wkl3.gif
http://www.bromygod.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Helen-Flanagan-001-03032014.gif
http://www.strangepersons.com/images/content/193846.gif
Cyrano de Bergerac; THE UNTOLD STORY!!
http://www.nerdcore.de/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/CckY2zuW0AAARJ7.jpg
http://45.media.tumblr.com/ac9e19a4f807f630c2cd9be8508f8082/tumblr_o0man5Ujl61s02vreo1_400.gif
http://45.media.tumblr.com/7090843718351bbbb078cfccf602f087/tumblr_o28y5glLUm1qzsbzuo1_500.gif
http://strangesports.com/images/content/189298.gif
Damn, can’t stop snickering at that.
It’s all going to be fan art of other people’s shit because fuck creativity and originality and ownership.
I need to move someplace sunnier.
http://114.imagebam.com/download/Uk0TEUW9ZSWYDHRQCvoFVA/47347/473463679/jess%20%2825%29.jpg
Holy crapballs. http://celebsflash.com/emily-ratajkowski-2016-jacquie-aiche-photoshoot/
I don’t want to get all controversial and start anything, but I have to say it: I think Emily is an attractive woman. There.
Indeed.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q0B1710QveQ/VA01SJ2b94I/AAAAAAAAKQo/W-zGTBcSOzM/s1600/2.gif
Tomorrow/today is either going be really, really great, just be a nightmare, or a combo. We’ve got an appointment to see if kid is going to be viable, and after meeting with our tax accountant. Can I just say I’m fucking terrified, while trying to be optimistic? I keep having visions of, “Yeah, your kid won’t make it,” with the added bonus of, “You owe $4000.” I don’t have any reason to think it should be the latter, but, it could happen.
I realize I’ve been a bit off my game, a little weird this week? This has been weighing on me for while. Hell, I think I’ve developed IBS. Thanks for putting up with me.
I could really use a trademarked weird Moose dot gif right now.
Wish the best for tomorrow.
And:
http://www.strangedangers.com/images/content/196344.gif
HANDS!
Agreed, definitely hoping for the best.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/74e272fa02d5112f6a98cf7c8e2b5b6d/tumblr_inline_nz3k4wFUxR1t1us8x_500.gif
http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/191122.gif
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/images/content/193092.gif
http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/images/content/196450.gif
http://www.strangesports.com/images/content/192352.gif
http://40.media.tumblr.com/a7011173b075d9567450bbe4fb50efcc/tumblr_nxdfcefpM41uk7m37o1_1280.jpg
Cochise.
Kicks.
Ass.
I think this a good one to “end” on.
http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj19/kenmello/MemesGIFS/hulahoopgirlsgifsgifkings10_zps696503c1.gif
http://45.media.tumblr.com/adb03c3fcdb978f528045631357b4729/tumblr_n6rrgrtJyl1td73xio1_400.gif
http://45.media.tumblr.com/c887883e167b5f94ac19cf434e8c47f4/tumblr_o2aq9zSKhD1t508pio1_500.gif
Kate, on the other hand, appears to be a virgin.
(or maybe it’s merely a weight distribution issue?)
http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/roethlisberger-snake-tongue-slither-sports-tongues.gif
I don’t think this is her first time. Just a hunch.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/3604947/hula-hoop-2-o.gif
…
http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/hula-hoop-girl-9.gif
http://38.media.tumblr.com/9ee17d1b80c011361743d965e281c74a/tumblr_nkrimoSlXo1ryino5o1_500.gif
Hehehehehe….I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. Pervert.
😉
oh hai
This just happens to match up pretty well to the Frank Turner song on my Pandora right now. I’m happy with this coincidence.
Jerky jerkin.
Shit, that looks good.
ITS ALL ABOUT THE FLANK
Really wish I had the wherewithal to stay up with you all and liveblog AFL. Damn you, eastern time!
Not sure I’m gonna make it either.
But I did take a hella nap earlier, so maybe.
Also, still gotta watch tonight’s The Americans and Sunday’s Venture Bros….so I might just make it. Might not get very deep though (giggity).
http://cdn1.theodysseyonline.com/files/2015/08/15/6357526579454515441695544280_mind%20over%20matter.jpg
http://45.media.tumblr.com/71d90ee1801f65abae89da748b6708cc/tumblr_mxb6b0XtDu1qz5yaxo1_r1_500.gif
http://45.media.tumblr.com/a9f0cd7938f7999c4685a4f4b32d5693/tumblr_nwk8qv33nz1s4eknho1_500.gif
Still not as fun as barbecuing.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/2ca3b66a6f3d3bc10e64fd1309fa8583/tumblr_o42vifikcP1qj88rjo1_1280.jpg
LMFAO….Holy fuck, man. That’s awesome.
Gotta be against Gal Gadot:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_EdoQZaiGj-g/TQA0DaRYoVI/AAAAAAAABqE/32ol_V4TKzE/s1600/idf9.jpg
I would gladly be against Gal Gadot.
Bar Refaeli: IDF Draft Dodger
http://celebmafia.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/bar-refaeli-twitter-instagram-personal-photos-january-2014-collection_8.jpg
Counterpoint: Bar Paly did her time in the IDF.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/9a6cd622ea7c77091d92bcb9d478056f/tumblr_o13kxxAWsL1t508pio1_500.png
http://114.imagebam.com/download/YdMUJqHgrdBJbcJhX3Vi8w/47346/473457700/323087.jpg
No happy ending involves moving to Wichita.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/8be1d825a3b1c1ca6394e0ec3bf47452/tumblr_o0qoq8tU421t508pio1_400.gif
Just ask Saul Goodman.
(Nebraska, Kansas, same difference)
http://45.media.tumblr.com/6c645cdfd813f33694f3d908ce4f6b3c/tumblr_o0nm1mvZpF1t508pio1_400.gif
Omaha has to be better than Albuquerque, though.
I went to a strip club in Wichita last year. I think a happy ending was possible for a low low price.
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/248swyusw5yusw.gif
that’s …………… UTTERLY ridiculous.
http://static4.therichestimages.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/hahahh-anim.gif
Let’s MOOOOOOOOOOOOOve along, shall we.
Guess not everybody enjoys terrible puns.
Their loss.
The over used ones make it even better.
I’m sure you have…………… bovine intentions.
http://114.imagebam.com/download/NN9RNSRs9Uxrd2_uwofW4A/47265/472640684/hannahferguson.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/44aa4362fb356c772b47549943ff5f87/tumblr_notagwPCGx1tjcv1jo1_500.gif
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/491085/venture-brothers-o.gif
http://45.media.tumblr.com/45b29b7ff958910b72ba8d5ab1f7c4b8/tumblr_n33q0831Gz1rbrhnko1_500.gif
Original, larger version: http://www.imagebam.com/image/8cf2c5473457640
http://114.imagebam.com/download/h8muLRvtNRkAO83EnNRlow/47347/473465346/stitch%20copy.jpg
Putting in four pounds of flank jerky at 12:00 ET.
Should be done by 12:00 PM ET tomorrow.
I’ll take ten.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/08a273d2825cc23f2b2b55cb6562ffb7/tumblr_o361r7pGkb1t508pio1_540.jpg
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–YaojDSyc–/180oeb5v3zxdhjpg.jpg
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http://113.imagebam.com/download/P4kZZV2f5fK7yBlp5qlUHg/47347/473464906/haileyclauson-paint.jpg
NSFW Emily: http://www.imagebam.com/image/d4ff78473457618
http://114.imagebam.com/download/wC5Fbo2F5wW2fi9utzd1og/47346/473457647/042_046_160225_S08_1799WEB.jpg
http://media.giphy.com/media/API21uGWjtb9u/giphy.gif
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http://33.media.tumblr.com/c1189c1ebbcc1ca03b4261d31f0ec704/tumblr_nmuum1UHNl1u08gzyo2_400.gif
Dayummmm…
That is all.
I like this revival much better than the BM v. SM one.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/peter-serafinowicz-cast-as-the-tick-in-amazon-revival/ar-BBqOnA5?ocid=ansmsnent11
Patrick Warburton was perfect, though. You need a big guy. Shit, cast Terry Crews. That could be hilarious.
Agreed. With good writing this could be damn funny; I still like the cartoon version too.
Fixed it so that it pulses with sexuality instead of staggered looping like a drunk filmed it.
http://114.imagebam.com/download/znzdhwhTwuzUQ3-qMQrDgw/47347/473464217/sashagrey.gif
So a……………… re………….. buttal?
I never did like having to cross.
One plus, one big minus.
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/aaron-rodgers-ufo-article-1.2575658
The masturbation revelation is surprising.
[McCarthy puts on headphones]
“EEEEWWWW!”
Of course it’s Sasha Grey.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RX48Jqf79x4/UhmohDkXssI/AAAAAAAAA98/oUXFya5c498/s1600/Sasha+Grey+(14).gif
I had a feeling someone would recognize it.
I’m just good at Google.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/2660f48e2648e9c29580ccf91b157d0c/tumblr_o1ylxmJjBQ1rdy7odo1_1280.jpg
http://45.media.tumblr.com/8fe480b19cbc2e8d8b1f3423bd0ea0cc/tumblr_nz5xbbHjuo1r54qfqo1_500.gif
The only thing I actually have in common with Ron Swanson.
I may have mentioned it was snowing pretty good in the Denver area; my place to the west got two feet of heavy wet snow; happy spring!
http://45.media.tumblr.com/a8d5d941826e0218d70ff54fac22a72c/tumblr_o183y3v8iR1rbrhnko1_500.gif
71 tomorrow in Yinzburgh, and Friday…
[checks forecast]
35 with snow?!
It was about 70 a few days ago here. This will melt quickly once the tree branches in my yard are broken.
75 today, 78 tomorrow, 70s thru the weekend.
Then brrrrr…60s on Tue/Wed….then back up to 70s.
/shows self to storage locker
http://cdn.hitfix.com/photos/6047376/TheShiningstorageroom.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-6MYnGKIas
http://41.media.tumblr.com/6ac5e9167260005b83fb051387d64914/tumblr_o1y53sy5TG1r539hzo1_500.jpg
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http://49.media.tumblr.com/9ba9ccea56cd6832a849acfaf15678cf/tumblr_o46r3a7DXD1qzjpqro4_250.gif
She’s never gonna get airborne with those things.
/not talking about the arms
http://36.media.tumblr.com/b2a321d05edebe69c0494630e89f11f0/tumblr_o2jghf4XDM1t508pio1_500.jpg
http://49.media.tumblr.com/219dcad3b22ebaeec294406a94876269/tumblr_nb8i6l0fcQ1qdoxp5o1_500.gif
Well that’s just really a pleasant thing to watch, isn’t it?
It’s like watching a sexy lava lamp.