The “William Gaines Memorial Election” Wednesday Open Thread

Well, the NFL Competition Committee did the expected and passed the automatic ejection (or “Burfict”) rule today. A quizzical second change was the addition of the touchback from a kick now being placed at the 25 instead of the 20, which is pretty much going to ensure placekickers try to aim for the 5 yard line.

I can, however, picture him smoking.

Dear God – the Rams are going to be on “Hard Knocks”. Cue the whistful homage to the midwestern kid moving to LA to make it big! Then, get ready for a whole day of Jeff Fisher being clumily accepted onto movie sets in exchange for sideline access. I can’t wait for all the Hollywood mustache comparisons.

In addition, the Rams will host a game in China in 2018, whose leaders will no doubt give Stan Kroenke new ideas about labour management & stadium policing.

Some scouts have compared Jared Goff to Jay Cutler. That’s just mean – he’s had all his shots,

Over at the MMQB, there’s a video of Peter King spending four minutes blowing Jerry Jones. Even with the sound off, I could tell he swallowed everything Jones had.

Speaking of Peter King, his favourite rapist is apparently getting a plea bargain to serve between 15-20 years. I guess it beats consecutive sentences, and he will be eligible to purchase admission to the Hall of Fame in 2031 at the earliest.

Sean Payton is staying with the Saints for 5 more years, so will be around to pick Drew Brees’ replacement.

Merchandise note – Mitchell & Ness released their “Best selling jersey by state” map – links here and here. I’ve got nothing to say about the list, but I do love their product.

Politics: I suppose it was inevitable that the wives eventually got dragged into it.

Strangely, they had no problems with Nancy Reagan.

First, this happened: (she is purdy)

Some PAC affiliated to Cruz sent this picture to Mormon followers on Instagram. I’m not exactly sure whom it besmirches more – Trump, or his wife – since they more-than-seem to imply to Mormon voters that voting for Cruz would keep both a political and actual whore out of the White House. But either way, it’s goal was to encourage people to vote for Cruz.

Trump, naturally, took all things in stride and…NOPE! It quickly degenerated into, “You took a shot at my wife, so I’m taking one at yours.”

I’m guessing he used that crack research team he had lying around after checking out OBUMMERS birth certificate was put to use trying to find dirt on anyone left opposing him competing against him in the race.

The best part is that Cruz can claim plausible deniability because it wasn’t his campaign but a group friendly to his campaign that put out the tweet. But do you really want to start a political dirty war with Donald Trump?

Random athletics: If you want to lose a good four minutes, please to enjoy this video on the changing nature of Wrestlemania entrances. Come for the nostalgia; stay for the evolution of the mullet.

https://youtu.be/dVWVxgmrj1s

The unscripted games! (All times eastern)

NHL: (2 games total)

  • Sens @ Islanders – 7:00
  • Bruins @ Rangers – 8:00

NBA: (12 games total)

  • Raptors @ Celtics – 7:30
  • Heat @ Spurs – 8:30
  • Mavs @ Blazers – 10:00
  • Clippers @ Warriors – 10:30

NCAA: more NIT Nastiness!

  • Florida vs George Washington – 7:00
  • San Diego State vs Georgia Tech – 9:00

Oh god – everyone’s saying “Batman V Superman” sucks. I DON’T CARE!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttp://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Osw5CfkFC5s/Tp4bYkleQkI/AAAAAAAAClM/-zesQbrtRbc/s1600/1315087424-lexa2.gif

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn, can’t stop snickering at that.

Unsurprised

It’s all going to be fan art of other people’s shit because fuck creativity and originality and ownership.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t want to get all controversial and start anything, but I have to say it: I think Emily is an attractive woman. There.

Unsurprised

Indeed.

WCS

Tomorrow/today is either going be really, really great, just be a nightmare, or a combo. We’ve got an appointment to see if kid is going to be viable, and after meeting with our tax accountant. Can I just say I’m fucking terrified, while trying to be optimistic? I keep having visions of, “Yeah, your kid won’t make it,” with the added bonus of, “You owe $4000.” I don’t have any reason to think it should be the latter, but, it could happen.

I realize I’ve been a bit off my game, a little weird this week? This has been weighing on me for while. Hell, I think I’ve developed IBS. Thanks for putting up with me.

I could really use a trademarked weird Moose dot gif right now.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

HANDS!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Agreed, definitely hoping for the best.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Sill Bimmons

Cochise.

Kicks.

Ass.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Kate, on the other hand, appears to be a virgin.
(or maybe it’s merely a weight distribution issue?)
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theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t think this is her first time. Just a hunch.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/3604947/hula-hoop-2-o.gif

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe….I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. Pervert.
😉

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Sill Bimmons

oh hai

JerBear50

This just happens to match up pretty well to the Frank Turner song on my Pandora right now. I’m happy with this coincidence.

Sill Bimmons

Jerky jerkin.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, that looks good.

WCS

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Sill Bimmons

ITS ALL ABOUT THE FLANK

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really wish I had the wherewithal to stay up with you all and liveblog AFL. Damn you, eastern time!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not sure I’m gonna make it either.
But I did take a hella nap earlier, so maybe.
Also, still gotta watch tonight’s The Americans and Sunday’s Venture Bros….so I might just make it. Might not get very deep though (giggity).

Unsurprised

Still not as fun as barbecuing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO….Holy fuck, man. That’s awesome.

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

I would gladly be against Gal Gadot.

Unsurprised

Counterpoint: Bar Paly did her time in the IDF.
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Unsurprised

No happy ending involves moving to Wichita.

WCS

Just ask Saul Goodman.

(Nebraska, Kansas, same difference)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Omaha has to be better than Albuquerque, though.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I went to a strip club in Wichita last year. I think a happy ending was possible for a low low price.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

that’s …………… UTTERLY ridiculous.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s MOOOOOOOOOOOOOve along, shall we.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Guess not everybody enjoys terrible puns.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Their loss.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The over used ones make it even better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m sure you have…………… bovine intentions.

Sill Bimmons

Putting in four pounds of flank jerky at 12:00 ET.

Should be done by 12:00 PM ET tomorrow.

WCS

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I’ll take ten.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Dayummmm…
That is all.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Patrick Warburton was perfect, though. You need a big guy. Shit, cast Terry Crews. That could be hilarious.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed. With good writing this could be damn funny; I still like the cartoon version too.

Unsurprised

Fixed it so that it pulses with sexuality instead of staggered looping like a drunk filmed it.
http://114.imagebam.com/download/znzdhwhTwuzUQ3-qMQrDgw/47347/473464217/sashagrey.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So a……………… re………….. buttal?

Unsurprised

I never did like having to cross.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

The masturbation revelation is surprising.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[McCarthy puts on headphones]

“EEEEWWWW!”

Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I had a feeling someone would recognize it.

Unsurprised

I’m just good at Google.

WCS

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Unsurprised

The only thing I actually have in common with Ron Swanson.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I may have mentioned it was snowing pretty good in the Denver area; my place to the west got two feet of heavy wet snow; happy spring!

http://45.media.tumblr.com/a8d5d941826e0218d70ff54fac22a72c/tumblr_o183y3v8iR1rbrhnko1_500.gif

WCS

71 tomorrow in Yinzburgh, and Friday…

[checks forecast]

35 with snow?!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It was about 70 a few days ago here. This will melt quickly once the tree branches in my yard are broken.

theeWeeBabySeamus

75 today, 78 tomorrow, 70s thru the weekend.
Then brrrrr…60s on Tue/Wed….then back up to 70s.
/shows self to storage locker
http://cdn.hitfix.com/photos/6047376/TheShiningstorageroom.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s never gonna get airborne with those things.
/not talking about the arms

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well that’s just really a pleasant thing to watch, isn’t it?

Unsurprised

It’s like watching a sexy lava lamp.