First of all, don’t give me any of that garbage. Teachers work hard, and we deserve a Spring Break just as much as the kids. Professor Dog up there knows the score. Secondly, traffic was brutal this morning, so we’re totes even.
Possessing a death wish, I went through si.com’s site today looking for content. May I just take a moment for all of us to reflect on the ordeal Ape went through every week, breaking down PK’s MMQB column? I went through yesterday’s and now all I want to do is leap out the window behind me. The man was a saint.
Anyway, the Wichita Wonderer must have watched “Moneyball” on repeat over the weekend, because he rambled on about how hiring Paul DePodesta has made the Browns the first team to truly adopt a concept that has (to me) ruined baseball. It’s exciting to know that the Browns are now going to be (re)built using the same formula that has won the Oakland A’s numerous World Series since 2001. Expect Cleveland fourth quarter possessions to last an hour each. From there, he opined on how RGIII to the Factory made the best, desperate sense for all sides.
There was a lot more that I refuse to transcribe here. Suffice to say, he talks about Colin Kaepernick and his (limited) options within the Chip Kelly “system”, and then proceeds to fellate The Shield over its response to the New York Times concussion story. I chose sanity over accuracy. However, the nugget about Bruce Arians saying that New Era “is producing a houndstooth cap, in honor of… Bear Bryant at Alabama” interests me as a ‘hat guy’, but induces hatred as a “fucking hipsters” guy.
In a further reminder that the NFL really hates St Louis, nfl.com has a story about the Rams packing their shit up and moving west. I guess plain white cube vans don’t have the “fuck you” effect of the Mayflower Moving Company, but the effect of the video is the same. Apologies to all St Louis Commentists.
Player news: Anquan Boldin is possibly going to consider the [*Redacted] s, making him the only WR to consider the FedEx turf an upgrade from his previous employer’s.
Avoid CNN note: apparently, there’s a(nother) Republican Town Hall tonight. I expect someone’s mother is going to be called a whore; the surprise will be whose. The yelling begins at 8:00 ET.
Fun teaching note: In Detroit, 13 school principals were indicted for participating in a kickback scheme involving a school supplies provider. In short, principals would send in an inflated goods request to the supplier, the supplier would bill the district for the full amount, and the two would then split the difference. The principals split $900,000 total; the supplier pocketed $1.8 million over 13 years. My favourite part is that one of the indicted principals was also picked by Ellen and the “Ellen” show to receive donations for her downtrodden school, which the District pumped up in press releases. WHOOPS!
NHL: (9 games total)
- Bruins @ Devils – 7:00
- Sabres @ Penguins – 7:00
- Blackhawks @ Wild – 8:00
- Predators @ Stars – 8:30
NBA: (6 games total)
- Thunder @ Pistons – 7:30
- Rockets @ Cavs – 8:00
- Wizards @ Warriors – 10:30
CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying:
- US vs Guatemala – 7:00 – from Columbus, OH
- Mexico vs Canada – 10:30 – from Azteca Stadium
I bet President Trump would demand document checks for fans of Los Chapines. No harm, NO FOUL!
Who else is leaving work early for a tee time tomorrow?
http://site.rockbottomgolf.com/blog_images/Sexy_Golf_Girl.jpg
I finally got a chance to watch the Flash/Supergirl crossover. Oh man, it was so good. And to top off the night, Demolition Man is on! AHHHHHH YEAH!
http://www.classybro.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Hypnotizing-Ass-Gif.gif
http://media.giphy.com/media/3rgXBOmTlzyFCURutG/giphy.gif
http://114.imagebam.com/download/2QrHCs4EqqCiOdDk4T5v-g/47428/474277767/w704-3.gif
Golden State Warriors have win #67.
How many do they have left to play to reach 73?
They have eight games left. Five at home.
6-2? I like those odds.
/loses life savings
at Utah, Boston, Portland, Minnesota, San Antonio, at Memphis, at San Antonio, Memphis. I like those odds too. (Wouldn’t surprise me if the Spurs lay down in those games and try their luck in the playoffs)
Have the Sixers got win #10?
Nope!
2 more wins and they just stop trying
Oh christ, I decided to watch Blackfish tonight. After 15 minutes of it, I hate humanity more than I did 15 minutes ago.
I know the criticism of it all, I’m not taking the documentary as gospel, but holy fuck humanity is the worst.
I’ve not seen that one, but I watched The Cove several years back. That was absolutely fucking brutal.
I couldn’t finish that one. I should give it another shot.
No, no you shouldn’t. If you couldn’t get through the beginning, you do NOT want to see the end.
So, the Republicans are now engaged in civil war, right? All three of them tonight said they wouldn’t support the eventual nominee. It’s either first to 50%, or open warfare on the convention floor.
http://s29.postimg.org/g2rotl27n/tumblr_lx8ycq_BMn_B1qbdif3o1_r1_250.gif
Let’s hope that petition for open carry at the convention gets passed. Can’t have warfare without guns!
Sadly, we’ve all been played.
http://gawker.com/liberal-blogger-claims-authorship-of-rnc-open-carry-pet-1767871411
A smarter tactic for liberals would have been to openly oppose open carry at the convention.
I’m not anti-gun but open carry is just an incredibly stupid idea.
Just saw Duncan Keith’s slash/high stick/attempted murder on Minnesota’s Charlie Coyle. That’s a four-game suspension.
At least.
He’s got repeat offender status. May go into the playoffs.
I didn’t think about that. You may be right.
I thought he was the dad on Family Affair.
Buffy, Jody, Sissy, Mr French….?
/fuck…why do I keep confirming my elderlyness?
//and why the fuck do I remember all those names…? Fuck you brain.
Brutal.
http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/video/will-keith-miss-playoff-games-after-ugly-slash-on-coyle~838415
A better video.
https://youtu.be/IKp4gzFIzO4
So I played golf today for the first time in roughly 3 months and I sucked ass (one more thing to add to the “why I miss AZ”, which is now up to two things…no winter).
/but at least I managed to not do this
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/122011/1326398264_golf_fail.gif
However, I mighta done this a time or three…
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/072013/1377292296_golf_player_loses_temper.gif
Practice range tomorrow fo’ sho’…
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/07/Funny-GIF-Golfing-FAIL.gif?gs=a
Damn you interwebz, pt deux.
Let’s try again…
http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2013913/rs_350x176-131013194431-4.5-Golf-Hit.gif
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/04/GIF-Rabbits.gif
Awww…bitch.
Looks like a fighter after weight cut.
Damn you interwebz.
But mostly, they’re just goddamned cute as fuck.
Bunnies have been known to hunt humans in packs…
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Rabbits-GIF1.gif
Bunnies are not morally averse to cheating…
http://5tnz-production.imgix.net/uploads/post/image/1703/1da9fc25f7.gif
This tweet is old, but I just saw it for the first time 20 minutes ago, and I haven’t stopped laughing. https://twitter.com/michaeljhudson/status/480914591786868736
NAILED IT.
Philly up to 85% playoff odds now. Maybe I can stop checking the standings every 20 minutes for a couple days now
Bunnies are dicks…
http://cuntagram.com/images/0013.gif
But they thrust well….
And they don’t take no muthafuckin’ shit off no muthafuckin’ snakes…
http://share.gifyoutube.com/KeRnAp.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv1fdwaHg01qzthxgo2_500.gif
Ice Bills, you were up 3-0 after 1, you had one job.
Don’t be silly; there are no jobs in Buffalo.