Operation Stop the Asshole Cheaters (Final Four Preview/Game Thread)

Well folks, here we are. Down to four, only one #1 seed, but it’s the most evil one of all. Blatant bunch of academic fraudsters, complete with asshole coach who not even veiled subtly threatens minor reporters who dare call out his program and “university” on their bullshit. We need Karma to wake the fuck up, post-haste.

#2S Villanova vs. #2W Oklahoma (6:09, TBS)

Last season, when my alma mater made a surprising run to the Sweet Sixteen, Boomer Sooner was in our bracket. I was also in the habit of speaking solely in Soviet propaganda, as it had been good juju (along with our official talisman, Lenin Cat). As such, we found solidarity with Oklahoma as fellow Reds, and I also learned there are few phrases more fun to type than “Oklahoma Oblast:”

LINK

As Buddy Hield and the incredibly well-coached Sooners are the best bet to derail smug-mageddon Monday night, I am strongly urging Red Solidary again. Forward! For Glorious Workers’ Revolution!!

#10MW Syracuse vs. #1E U*NC (8:49, TBS)

Some have noted that Syracuse is also a “cheater” but that would be like equating jaywalking with triple homicide. Tonight, we are all scotchnauts. But I will probably be one from slumber, as I would rather get up early for the Leicester match than get pissed off watching the Holes win.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
471 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Unsurprised

Rick & Morty is streaming. On Spotify (mobile apps).
https://open.spotify.com/show/1fgnAnxyVcKTFQNTJHoRco

WCS

Normally, I’d be with yinz on a Saturday night. I’ve fallen down the Netflix documentary hole.

heh heh hole hee hee

Unsurprised

No Animaniacs?

WCS

I prefer to hate myself and humanity.

Unsurprised

Brother!

Unsurprised

I can’t let this joke go to waste even if it’s way too late to reply.

More like Stephen HAWRGHQKKLing.

comment image

Unsurprised

I just learned that Aaron Sanchez has a series called Taco Trip that’s streaming on Amazon Prime. There was an episode on Portland. http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/shows/taco-trip/100/portland.html

Unsurprised

“Aarón Sánchez”

What a pretentious asshole.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Probably should not have finished that last beer because this made me laugh.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/e1403c0559ca324ded91036c1e4ef765/tumblr_o2yir9RjKd1ttrxmxo1_1280.jpg

Unsurprised

That looks familiar.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She doesn’t even trust him to do the shopping for groceries.

Unsurprised

It’s in DUMBO, Brooklyn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was thinking you meant something other than the location……

Unsurprised

I wish. Though I’m inclined to being the dom because, well, because.

Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plus there is enough oil left over for cooking de tacos.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well dang. I don’t wanna, but I gotta. Time for zzzzz’s.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good luck.

You made it through another day without this happening:

http://36.media.tumblr.com/90eb4faa09d525826ebefff5ec3e3098/tumblr_o3bhwwNTxp1tsum7ko1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JerBear50

DON’T YOU HURT MY DOG!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

You got my money? Where’s my money?
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

I gotta watch that again soon.

JerBear50

I just dvr’d it from HBO the other day. That’s one that will stay saved until the box dies.

Unsurprised

Morty’s Wigs Don’t Come Off!

JerBear50

I think it was Morrie, but good reference nonetheless.

Unsurprised

You’re right.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO….I’ve no idea why that creepy bear ballet outfit makes me laugh.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you, Kid. I was here first.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL….I’m not saying it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like I said; we are not here to judge. We will just mark it of as “eccentric.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit, Cats’ comeback gonna fall short it appears. Ain’t like GWS didn’t leave the door open though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Blepharospasm. He should get that checked.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m not here to judge what your into, would advise cleaning it before returning it to the kid though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn….I forgot that Sill is the only one who’d get that joke.
SILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No monopoly on Google.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cum in a hot tub: 2 parts vodka 1 part white rum 3-5 drops bailey’s Irish cream Pour the vodka and rum carefully but not too carefully into a glass. They have different consistencies and you want them to mix just a little. Now let several drops of Bailey’s fall into the liquor.

Unsurprised

That would be my reaction, too. It better taste like magic.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m thinking it was invented for that….. or to remind visitor not to fuck in your hot tub.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I would have been fine never seeing this.
Thanks Obama.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking pussy.

Unsurprised

Go Trojans.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was a fucking hella mark. Lead down to 6. Suck it GWS.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Chance to cut the lead to 12….And it’s thru for the goal.

Unsurprised

I got the impression they’re more like this handicat:
comment image

JerBear50

Catstopher Reeve?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NICE

theeWeeBabySeamus

I got this….I got this….I got this….
Aww shit, I don’t got this.
Concussion protocol initiated….
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/042014/1396630635_dogs_fails_at_jumping_on_couch.gif

Unsurprised

Aww, he’s a Trump supporter.

WCS

Concussion protocol: “What color is this?”
Dog: “I don’t know, I’m a dog.”
Concussion protocol: “Close enough. He’s fine, get him back in there.”

Unsurprised

Your NFL grant is approved.
comment image

JerBear50

Pacman thinks he’s faking.

Unsurprised

Some asshole finished off my bottle of rye.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have a suspect in mind.
Just saying.

Unsurprised

WHO! WHO IS IT! TELL ME SO I CAN PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING BALLS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JerBear50

Wow. Lloyd Dobler did NOT age well.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He could be any of these three.

JerBear50

Yeah, I thought the one was in a trench coat, but I’m not sure that’s correct on further inspection.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jeebus…how did Oklahoma get to Australia so fast and get into Geelong jerseys?

theeWeeBabySeamus

37 pt lead cut to 36.
The comeback is ON!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Down to 30 pt lead.
(backwards bcuz….Australia)
comment image

Unsurprised

Should be upside-down

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Instagram-approved. Suck it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No lips or winkers; approved.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We can gauge our lives by Instagram approval.

Unsurprised

That’s the metric Playboy uses. Just saying.

Unsurprised

Sadly, that is the metric that much of our online lives and the content we view is set by: What does Facebook (owner of Instagram) this is appropriate and what does it consider NSFW? Small box or blurring of just the nipple on a nude model is okay, but God forbid we see those specific brown pixels.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddamn. Geelong is getting their shit pushed in.
http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/7-09-2015/sMW0yS.gif

Unsurprised

I’m sure they’re used to getting love from the homies.

Unsurprised

Fucking Hollywood. Even the main Mexican guy (Smiley) in a movie set and filmed in L.A. was a goddamn Aussie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And now he chases zombies at sea.
Woooo!!!!!!

Unsurprised

That show managed to be even worse than the worst episodes I saw of TWD. Every character is a piece of shit and deserves to be eaten.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I concur. Thusly, I’ll volunteer for eating this one….
(also Australian, btw)
http://fullhdpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Alycia-Debnam-Carey-Picture.png

JerBear50

I don’t bitch about that for the most part, but I have to say I was a bit annoyed to see a Brit cast as Hank fucking Williams.

laserguru

MOAR MUSIC!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah he did.

theeWeeBabySeamus

McHale’s Navy isn’t as funny as it used to be.

Senor Weaselo

Kid tested, komodo approved.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cactus looks different from the third floor at night…. when you swallowed your mom’s leftover vicodin.

http://49.media.tumblr.com/ab5d5abc7a0244499de5b90014aeba1b/tumblr_o14px3atHm1tnuac3o1_r1_500.gif

JerBear50

Glad to see Gronk is still enjoying the offseason.

laserguru

Oh I gots music covered

BrettFavresColonoscopy

One of my favorite paintings/nightmare fuel

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I snickered for a while, then some more.

Unsurprised

Just wrap a rock in a blanket.

Unsurprised

I don’t know how to feel about seeing stills of partial Stilt-Man armor from Daredevil. One one hand, it’s funny because it’s goddamn Stilt-Man. On the other, I’m a grown-up. Who cares?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

You figured it out! Party! I’ll bring the Let’s.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To be fair; the internet figured it out; I just reposted for the 1000th time.

WCS

Complete with stains and lack of laundry day.

JerBear50
laserguru

Music!

We need music

Oh shit.

Unsurprised

The supermarket: come for the fresh produce, stay for the Smashmouth & Barenaked Ladies.

WCS

Brought to you by #Uproxx dot com!

Unsurprised

Bzzzzt.

The punchline is “And the music sucks, too”

Unsurprised

My mistake. It’s supposed to be “But the music sucks.”

ballsofsteelandfury

In the real AFL, Geelong dominated the first quarter and is behind.
http://m.quickmeme.com/img/3f/3fca1742550b06a9edb8cfffce89fb1df34c7a3537c51659f371972bc61fa372.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

My feed sucks ass tonight.
Get it together Australia.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit Cats!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

This cat won’t steer you wrong. https://vine.co/v/ij1dtlTOurH

Sill Bimmons

I just realized that “Scott Tenorman Must Die” is a Wile E. Coyote/Road Runner episode where the Road Runner gets made into chili at the end.

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Eric Cartman, genius?
comment image

Senor Weaselo

There’s Arena Football on ESPN 2?
There’s a team called the LA Kiss?
Their turf is white?

Arena Football’s weird.

Unsurprised

Gene Simmons is an owner.

WCS

…and they are awful, even by AFL standards.

JerBear50

It’s not something I can follow and get into, but going to arena games can be fun. It’s kind of like football with ADHD.

Spanky Datass

/rocks and rolls every night
//parties every day