Your “FINALLY! Games That Matter!” Wednesday Open Thread

I don’t believe there’s a person in North America – nay; the world – that feels any sympathy for Gary Bettman. But it does suck that, on the opening night of the NHL’s two-month journey towards winning the best trophy in sports (come at me!), the vast majority of interest is focused on basketball LA and Oakland. At least the league was helped by the Kings finishing ahead of the Sharks, so they didn’t try something stupid like having San Jose play tonight before a half-empty Tank.

Speaking of dancing around, Lynn Swann was named the new USC athletic director today. I’m sure George Atkinson can be found for a word or two about that. Maybe it’s me, but after the 1972 Dolphins, the group of old men I also don’t need to hear from are the 1970s Raiders. If they were that damn good or tough, they could give me the finger and show me a second ring. None of those windbags they show on NFL Network were around in January 1981, when Jim Plunkett showed Jaws how to play in the big game.

In the first hint of the upcoming adpocalypse, the NBA is voting this week on allowing jersey advertising, which would become effective for the 2017/18 season. The union strike about revenue sharing would follow soon after, I imagine. It might be enough to drag Peyton and Brett out of retirement in 2020 when it comes to the NFL.

While we’re on the subject of the NBA, don’t expect me to participate in the hagiography around Kobe Bryant. Good player; awful person. The pregame ceremony will probably make me vomit. Besides, I’ll be rooting for the Blues about that time.

Before I go, have fun doing math over the weekend! Luckily, Big Daddy Drew has some tax pointers for you over at Deadspin.

Tonight’s entertainment:

NHL Playoffs:

  • Detroit @ Tampa Bay – 7:00
  • NY Rangers @ Pittsburgh – 8:00
  • Chicago @ St. Louis – 9:30

NBA: (14 games total)

  • Kings @ Rockets – 8:00 (if Houston loses, then Utah is win & in)
  • Jazz @ Lakers – 10:30
  • Grizzlies @ Warriors – 10:30

Finally, if you recall, last week I mentioned that I was going to see Iron Maiden on Sunday night. Loud? YOU BET! A limited edition tour shirt that sold out in 5 minutes? NATURALLY! Fifteen songs like usual? OF COURSE! But a nice mix of old & new:

  1. If Eternity Should Fail
  2. Speed of Light
  3. Children of the Damned
  4. Tears of a Clown
  5. The Red and the Black
  6. The Trooper
  7. Powerslave
  8. Death or Glory
  9. The Book of Souls
  10. Hallowed Be Thy Name
  11. Fear of the Dark
  12. Iron Maiden

Encore:

  1. The Number of the Beast
  2. Blood Brothers
  3. Wasted Years

Here’s “The Trooper”

VANCOUVER DID SCREAM FOR YOU, BRUCE!

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
544 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Sill Bimmons

woo

Doktor Zymm

Is it really just culture that makes most hockey players make poor hair choices? Or do hockey helmets promote baldness and poor haircut decisions?

litre_cola

Yes and yes.

bourb0nblues

He just poked his own stupid eye… good times!

Sill Bimmons

AIN’T NOTHING IN THAT DROPPER BOTTLE GONNA HELP THE STICK IN THE EYE

Gratliff

Morphine drops?

Sill Bimmons

Cocaine, not morphine.

Senor Weaselo

Footy players would be declared legally dead from that, right?

Senor Weaselo

Strange, that’s normally McDonagh’s job.

WCS

THE SMOOTHIE BAR IS DOWN REPEAT THE SMOOTHIE BAR IS DOWN

Sill Bimmons

Stunnedqvist?

Gratliff

Holy shit. Did he get shot?

Gratliff

Wouldn’t be a hockey game without a Staal brother trying to kill somebody

Doktor Zymm

Two more unlikely combatants, Pandas and Penguins, but it’s the Stanley Cup Playoffs!
http://www.ilfusion.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/pandas-penguins.jpg

Sill Bimmons

Lundqvist always seems to have equipment issues against the Pens.

scotchnaut

Top Gun Tidbit: The phrase “Goddamn it, Maverick” was repeated over and over again by the majority of John McCain supporters after he chose Sarah Palin as his running mate.

Sill Bimmons

Followed by “At least she’s pretty hot HNGH”

Sill Bimmons

THAT WAS ALMOST TEN FUCKING YEARS AGO YOU GUYS

Gratliff

Good goal, Seahawks

Sill Bimmons

Fuhr, Smith, Dryden.

litre_cola

Racicot, Tabbaracci, Bester.

Doktor Zymm

Shameful admissions : This was an influential movie in my youth.
http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2012/07/27/27-cutting-edge.w750.h560.2x.jpg

Doktor Zymm

On they plus side, it probably contributed to my smartass tendencies.
comment image

litre_cola

In a town for work, was at the attached pub to the hotel. Both the bartender and the trainee decided to go for a smoke after taking my order. While they left I was setting myself out for the tap guzzle selfie and they walked back in. After a moment of silence, they both looked at me and said that, travelling, left alone in a bar they would have done the same thing. Then gave me a pint.

Sill Bimmons
WCS

Two power plays, zero total shots.

comment image

Doktor Zymm

King Hippo

I do appreciate your theme, though.

Doktor Zymm

Hooking in hockey : Easier to explain to your children, but not nearly as entertaining.

http://media4.s-nbcnews.com/i/streams/2012/July/120725/494077-120725-biz-hooking-1030a.jpg

Sill Bimmons

what the everloving fuck

Gratliff

Tim fucking Peel.

Doktor Zymm

MOAR FIGHTS.

Dare I say this is…..chippy?

bourb0nblues

Letang is French for The Tang

scotchnaut

Top Gun Tidbit: After this movie, Tom Cruise never again flew a super secret mission in a fighter plane ever again.

Gratliff

Tim Peel, folks!

Doktor Zymm

WOOOO FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. Also Beastie Boys.

Doktor Zymm

I suspect they were fighting for reasons other than their right to party.

Doktor Zymm

I took figure skating lessons when I was little. I always wanted to speed skate, and was obnoxious during general skates by racing around imitating Olympic speed skaters. However, there was no speed skating in my area, but there was hockey. I never got to try out hockey skates, but they looked faster than figure skates. Also, those fuckers could probably chop off a toe if you didn’t watch your feet while changing into skates.

Gratliff

Booooooosh

scotchnaut

Top Gun Tidbit: Kelly McGillis once wrestled a bear for $5. The bear welched on the bet.

Doktor Zymm

Sticks should be double ended and if there is a hockey question at pub trivia, you should probably answer “Detroit Red Wings”

scotchnaut

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. The answer is always “Mario Lemieux.”

-WCS and Sill Bimmons

Doktor Zymm

It’s probably worth distinguishing if they’re asking for a team or a player.

scotchnaut

You and your “details”.

King Hippo

That is one reliably shitty power play.

Gratliff

Tim Peel is one of the worst refs in pro sports. How does he get playoff assignments?

Sill Bimmons

ALL THE SLOW STARTS

Gratliff

Pens look like they’re going to keep collapsing on D. This could be a very boring series

WCS

comment image

bourb0nblues

You had one job Lightning!

Gratliff

The colors in the pit-ny game is making my eyes bleed

scotchnaut

Top Gun Tidbit: If you cinematography it just right, a fighter plane looks just like a penis.

Sill Bimmons

Stuck watching the Rangers homer announcers.

They’re actually not that bad.

scotchnaut

Top Gun Tidbit: The super sexy verbal interplay between Cruise and McGillis was written by two Indonesian teenagers. English is their third language.

King Hippo

And being performed by a lesbian and a deeply closeted homosexual. HAWT

Sill Bimmons

fuuu

Gratliff

42nd best sv% in the AHL!

WCS

Jeff Zatkoff is starting in net for the Ice Stillers.

comment image

Gratliff

Third string goalie vs Prince Henrik. This can only end with lundqvist getting chased our in the first.

Gratliff

Meteor time!

scotchnaut

Top Gun Tidbit: Cruise’s descent into The Scientology is not mirrored in any way by this movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A 5’7″ spiking a ball with his face at the top of a regulation net in deep sand.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

X in a box + “?gs=a” = VICTORY!

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Spanky Datass

sup

lots of rain here my lawn in a swamp

Sill Bimmons

yo

havent been outside today working at home ftw

WCS

Howdy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

Too few women lift weights.

Sill Bimmons

That looks exactly like my last pair except mine isn’t in bread it’s in pieces.

scotchnaut

Top Gun Tidbit: The original script consisted of several men wagging their dicks at each other. That script was eventually purchased by the good folks at Boys 2 Men Productions.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spanky Datass

Pirate Sloth! What’s up bro?

scotchnaut

Do I have the energy to do Tidbits for Top Gun? I hope so but I’m pretty deep in the boozy booze.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Playoff hockey has started!

http://i.imgur.com/arqMb6x.jpg

JustStopDude

comment image

Sorry…I am watching the Orioles continue their non-stop march to 162-0 this year…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

O face after a missed handjob….. damn.

WCS

None of the contestants on Jeopardy! knew the movie Alien. Excuse me while I go take an axe to a car.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!:?

scotchnaut

The first “game that mattered” for me was in Grade 4 when I was playing Red Rover. I intentionally didn’t break through the line and got to hold hands with the girl that I had a HUGE CRUSH* on. Feel free to call me the most devious kid ever…

*is there any other kind of crush for a fourth grader?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omxbaX7S12w
Not content with destroying the Lakers, Kobe sets out to destroy Soul R&B.

scotchnaut

“He destroyed me years and years ago.”

-Humility

1 2 3 5