Your “A Bauer of Hours Until The Draft” Wednesday Open Thread

I assume the face most GMs see in their dreams the night before the draft is Jack Bauer.

It is a nightmare, naturally, as the GM slogs through the dank, polluted streets of their town, running uphill through mud, having to take the stairs since the elevators just don’t work, trying to beat the clock and get their pick in to a cackling ginger demon.

“Chi-town is draft town!”

The whole while, a rabid fanbase is getting ever closer, screaming for blood and demanding that all the franchise’s historic wrongs be righted on this one day. They hunger, be it for championships or mediocrity, but they are always demanding and pressing for more.

FAAAACCCKKK YOUUUUU!!!

He runs as fast as he can, barely staying ahead of the slavering mob. Always running; heart racing; never out of range. Just when he turns a corner and thinks he’s safe – there’s Jack.

Gun in hand, he screams, “WHO IS IT?!”, ‘WHO MADE THE CALL?!”, and “WHERE’S MENDOZA?!!”, because even in dreams Jack Bauer is always on the hunt. When the GM doesn’t answer right away, Jack has to use a little persuasion

“I’LL FEED YOU TO THEM!” Jack screams, pointing at the fanbase, which has somehow slowed down yet gotten closer. “WHO’S THE PICK?!”

Chris Weinke?

“I don’t know…” the GM weeps, “it’s not up to me. It’s whatever the owner’s 8-ball says”.

“8-ball?”

“LIAR!” screams Bauer, as he grabs the GM and hurls him out the window.

Waking up just before he hits the ground, covered in sweat, the GM realizes that his future, and his family’s, rests on the decisions that will be made today.

Except in Cleveland. They always hit the ground in Cleveland.

His wife, having left the bedroom earlier in the night due to the screaming, returns with a smile and a cup of coffee. She worries about him – wondering when the stroke will come, has the will be updated, and will she be in the passenger seat? “Don’t worry, honey”, she purrs, “it’ll all be over tonight. Why don’t you watch the news?” She turns on the TV and leaves the room, the Xanax finally taking effect. The GM turns to the screen, hoping to catch the basketball highlights, when the screen suddenly becomes his nightmare…

And it ends…

Liveblog tomorrow! Get your picks in!

Until then, the games!

NHL:

  • Islanders @ Lightning – 7:00 – Round 2 Game 1
  • Predators @ Ducks – 10:00 – Round 1 Game 7

NBA: (all are Game 5)

  • Hornets @ Heat – 8:00
  • Blazers @ Clippers – 10:00
  • Rockets @ Warriors – 10:30

Sweet dreams, Trent Baalke.

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Wakezilla

I’m going to jump on the Mandy Rose (WWE wrestler) bandwagon before it gets full

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Wakezilla

Wooo! Ice Titans beat the Ice Rams!

I kind of want the Preds to make it to the Cup finals and play, I dunno, Tampa. I’d love to see just how far the ratings in Canada would drop.

On the plus side for Ducks fans, Bruce Boudreau is going to get fired. Probably. He’s a shitty coach.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Later gator.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

You made it into HRTN tomorrow. That’s right…it’s the Big Time, baby!

So if your neighbors shun you and random strangers give you strange looks, you’ll know why.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I am also catching up on Better Call Saul, finally. It makes me think about how terrible this show would be if it ran at the same time as Breaking Bad. My basis for this line of reasoning?

Exhibit A:

http://cdn1.theodysseyonline.com/files/2015/09/14/635777983510197716-1324032608_gif%201.gif

Unsurprised

Ugh. That show was so bad.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m really trying to give it a chance. I thought the last episode was the best one so far.

I think if they actually introduce a known actor as a main character, quite a few complaints could be fixed.

Brocky

You catch the night manager by chance? I really liked the first episode, the second one could have been better

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I haven’t, but I’ve wanted to.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It has Reuben Blades, so that’s a big plus.

WCS

I’m not minding Fear as much as I thought I was going to. I really, really wanted it to be a slow build of how and why the zombie virus spreads, and watching civilization slowly crumble. They did that in two episodes of the first season. That said, this season hasn’t been terrible.

Conversely, Better Call Saul has been absolutely brilliant. You’ll love it.

Unsurprised

Yeah, that’s the thing. I wanted to watch the world burn. What a ripoff.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

When I feel like that, I watch Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I completely agree and really hoped they would actually do something on Patient 0.

I just wish I could find the ability to make myself care about the characters. I can’t even remember their names for fucks sake.

I also feel like they’re trying too hard to make things overly dramatic. Last season ends in the middle of the day on safe Beach. SUDDENLY, ITS PITCH BLACK, SAVE FOR THESE RANDOM FIRES AND ZOMBIES THAT JUST APPEARED! Or when the kid went for a swim, but just HAPPENED TO MISS THE FLIPPED SHIP FULL OF FLOATING WALKERS.

Already been loving BCS since last year. It has been right on the mark

Beastmode Ate My Baby

BCS is great. I actually prefer it to Breaking Bad.

Fear TWD is…OK. There are a bunch of characters who are great as secondary/supporting characters, but no leads (except maybe Reuben Blades or the guy who owns the boat, but they’re force-fitting the blonde woman from Deadwood into the lead role…and no, I can’t remember their name right now either).

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK…I’m going to bed bcuz I’ve obviously lost my shit….
Sheryl Crow – If It Make You Happy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyihQtBes1I

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Seriously. The gang would totally hit up a Trump rally.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes….
I’m tWBS, and I like (some of) the Bangles.
In Your Room
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04HSg0YZi9E

Unsurprised

they should make an e-cig that looks like a dick cuz that's less embarrassing to be seen sucking on in a bar.— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) April 28, 2016

theeWeeBabySeamus
Unsurprised

I should’ve called in to the live Frotcast.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ignored your pic and went with this one. Sorry!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypr18UmxOas

theeWeeBabySeamus

And to think I called you a wonderful human.
You are dead to me.
(but yay Shirley panties)

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Re watching The Gang Hits the Slopes, because, duh.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Great episode.

WCS

Time to stop complaining about the mountain, and let the mountain work for you.
http://assets1.ignimgs.com/2016/01/19/iasbrjpg-c73ca7_1280w.jpg

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Charlie’s naked sax solo is my favorite part.

Unsurprised

The implication.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Garbage – When I Grow Up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je-CPZRwbh8

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will always love Shirley Manson.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You Sir, are a wonderful human.

Unsurprised

You hardly ever see SFW gifs of her.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Caprice!!!!
I mean…who is this?
(In all seriousness….one of my photog friends is trying to help her get a legit modeling career, btw)

Unsurprised

Awesome. Is he in L.A. or NY?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Neither. Eastern Europe if you can believe it.
Though I’m not entirely certain where the shoots were held.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not entirely *sure….that is

Unsurprised

Isn’t she Czech? I assume there or Hungary.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not sure about her, but he is centered in Hungary fo’ sho’.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Unsurprised
theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m more often leaned towards the smaller girls…but I’d make the exception here.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Unsurprised

Sorry. I just came across some guy’s SFW sexy gifs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

so gif up the goods….get it?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Approve.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am trying to think of a show to rewatch as I go to bed. I watched the ending scene of Red vs Blue’s last season (a number higher than I will admit) yesterday, I am leaning that way. Any suggestions? Netflix preferred but I have a ton of DVDs too

theeWeeBabySeamus

I would suggest Kayden Kross, but I have no idea who that is.

Wakezilla

That ending. Shocking. Just shocking.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I promise (probably) that this is not (probably) going to be me (probably not) going down the Green Day hole….probably.
Green Day – Letterbomb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjuUMA6W9Zs

theeWeeBabySeamus

Green Day – Dirty Rotten Bastards
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gg4QZNOAco

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

NSFW

h
ttp://i.imgflip.com/6ekav.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well that’s just…just…marvelous.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The Hives – Tick Tick Boom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4Gp56jnaIs

theeWeeBabySeamus

Buckcherry – Crazy Bitch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKX8v46Z11E

Unsurprised
theeWeeBabySeamus

You shut up. That is areola UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE!!!!!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I come back from a cig and this is what you are discussing… what is the forum version of thumbs up?

theeWeeBabySeamus
makeitsnowondem

Can’t remember how many of you guys like coffee beers, but Founders Sumatra Mountain Brown is extremely my shit.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Fan of Founders, fan of coffee beer and a fan of browns.

I will keep 2 eyes out for it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Unsurprised

I could swear there’s a nipslip in there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If there’s not, there should be.
Several, in fact.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
theeWeeBabySeamus

Yike…..I might need to go masturbate now.
Just saying.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Unsurprised
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I just love this gif and it showed up early in my Alison Brie results. I felt bad opening it and not reminding you how awesome the actress is offscreen.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice….now suggestive lesbian with Gillian Jacobs please….
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Unsurprised
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am sorry. That should have been included

Unsurprised

I found a better version. See above.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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Unsurprised
theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah you did.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The Killers – All These Thing That I’ve Done
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZTpLvsYYHw

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Since WBS is all in on Alison Brie tonight I have to jump in and try to best him

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am obviously just bored and wanted an excuse to post an Alison Brie pic

WCS

Ice Titans win their first-ever Game 7, 2-1, and move on to play the Ice Niners.

That’s four Cup favorites (Chicago, LA, and Florida) all out in the first round.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Los Lonely Boys – Heaven
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvkzoqQ5Oak

WCS

53.1 seconds left, Ice Titans still leading, 2-1.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

My best friend is a Ducks fan.

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No, his name is not Chip.

Unsurprised

All this talk of pork, I just went to Lardo and had a pork sandwich called the Don Johnson. Since I don’t want to post a photo of him, I’ll use this gif of his daughter instead.
http://imagesmtv-a.akamaihd.net/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:mtv.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/socialnetwork-gif-1438225552.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good decision.