“Well, what now SMRT guy?” A Slightly Late NHL Second Round Preview

On the heels of Anaheim coach Bruce Boudreau being fired on Friday morning, comes the draft-delayed second round preview of the Stanley Cup playoffs that I in no way amended after Friday night’s results. I went 6-8 with my opening round predictions, so let’s see if I can keep the toonies rolling here.

Only pussies bet loonies!

Now, most Canadians at this point have abandoned watching the playoffs in favour of thawing out the barbecue equipment in advance of the May 2-4 weekend.

The official macro of summer!

That’s expected. What’s surprising is that the NHL has tried to appeal to Canadians by having four series that, on paper look the equivalent of tan, taupe, beige and maple syrup. Our national flavours! So, let’s dig in.

Soon, you’ll be basking in riches!

Eastern Conference: (* – if necessary)

Pittsburgh vs. Washington (Th, Sat, M, W, Sat*, Tu*, Th*)

  • This series should be the best of the four, much like maple syrup is the best of the brown colour spectrum. High powered offence; semi-competent defence; and tacticians for coaches. The dividing factor is going to be in net. Braden Holtby for Washington is a known commodity. Pittsburgh is still waiting for Marc-Andre Fleury to stop seeing visions of Bonhomme every time he closes his eyes. If Murray and the other kid can’t keep up, it’s going to go Washington’s way pretty quickly. Washington in 6
FYI – tan

NY Islanders vs. Tampa Bay (W, Sat, Tu, F, Sun*, Tu*, Th*)

  • Well, now we enter the bland colour wheel. This is the series Gary Bettman is hoping goes his way. He’s already lost the Rangers, Blackhawks and Kings; at least the Isles can claim to be a New York market for TV purposes. If he loses them, there’ll be pretty much no East Coast interest outside of DC. That’ll do wonders for ad revenue and the salary cap next year. If Tampa were to get Stamkos back, they might’ve had a chance, but they don’t have enough lines, and Griess is having one of those playoff years NHL legends get written about. Islanders in 6

Western Conference:

FYI – taupe

St. Louis vs. Dallas (F, Sun, Tu, Th, Sat*, M*, W*)

  • This could be a good series, but could also be boring as hell. It all depends on which Dallas team shows up. If it’s the hurt, hit, and slow-down-the-game Stars, then prepare for a lot of 1-0 or 2-1 games. But if it’s the run & gun Stars, then it’s going to be fantastic, because that’s the only gear the Blues have. GOALS FOR EVERYONE! Deciding factor: Brian Elliot. The Moose is hot right now, and I think – like the Canucks in 2011 – once the Blues got the Hawks monkey off their back, they could be in for a magical run. Blues in 7
FYI – beige

Nashville vs. San Jose (F, Sun, Tu, Th, Sat*, M*, Th*)

  • I see no redeeming value in watching this series, other than the fact that I will be in Nashville in time for Game 6, so you bet your ass I’ll be looking for a ticket if it gets that far. But, it won’t, much to Covalent Blonde’s relief. Sharks in 5

 

At this point, Gary Bettman’s best hope for ratings is a Blues – Islanders or Blues – Capitals final. However, what would kill him would be Tampa – Nashville. Decisions, decisions…

Time to keep makin’ it rain!

Oh – the NHL Draft Lottery is Saturday night. All 7 Canadian teams are in it, looking to draft a Swiss kid from America – Auston Matthews – number 1. Toronto has a 20% chance of getting the first pick, which means they will probably won’t because God and Canada (outside the 416) hates the Leafs – that’s the only national sport we have left at this point.

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Buckcherry – Crazy Bitch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKX8v46Z11E

WCS

WCS

As much I want to turn this shit up to eleven, I can’t.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Saw them (10,000 that is) open for REM way way too long ago.
Great show tho.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That one was at Cameron Indoor on DUKE’s campus.
Christ, shoot me now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK…I I gots the mellow out of me system
Jet – Cold Hard Bitch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGzmLl73TZ8

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice

theeWeeBabySeamus

Back to the Mellow 70s for a moment….well this one is technically late 60s but SHUT UP!!!!!
Gary Puckett and the Union Gap – Young Girl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJFVPxBpezk

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lady Willpower
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1CLjF8Q8xo
(you’re all really gonna get pissed off when I pull out the “Best of Bread” album)

theeWeeBabySeamus
WCS

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ronnie James Dio – Rainbow in the Dark
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcWKZTI9OC4

theeWeeBabySeamus

Queensrhyche – Spreading The Disease
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VRCtIQPozk

theeWeeBabySeamus

extra “h”…sorry.

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehe…WCS has gone off the rails.
Fuck it…I’ll go with him.
Slipknot – Psychosocial
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5abamRO41fE

WCS

WCS

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Senor Weaselo
SonOfSpam

“Where ya been Homer? Entire steel industry’s gay.” As the Allentwon video shows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHnJp0oyOxs

WCS

SonOfSpam

Cheap Trick’s about to be inducted, which is good and just.

Dream Police is awesome, even when sung by Apu.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPemyipJzAM

WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s Tight is the best song they’ve done in evar.
And they’ve done a lot of good shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADWG6EXrbcE

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, if we’re going with Mellow 70s for the moment….
Looking Glass – Brandy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tRXewCAmU

Porky Prime

Ah, AM Gold box set…so overpriced…so worth it.

It was the mid 90s, okay?

Porky Prime

I see it’s a Billy Joel night here below. I used to work with a guy bout five years ago who was about 23 who freely admitted that he loved him some Billy Joel. The kid was also a goddamn Wikipedia of 90s rap lyrics. http://youtu.be/O6xp54Y39uM

SonOfSpam

So he must’ve been in heaven when Billy Joel opened for Bone-Thugs-n-Harmony.

WCS

Now here’s a deep cut (TWSS?).

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thornton Mellon Likes this +1
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WCS

To quote Riley Cooper, I’ll fight any…. oh, wait. Hold up. What I meant to say is, I’ll challenge anyone here to explain why this song isn’t awesome, especially live.

Porky Prime
theeWeeBabySeamus
WCS

¡Internationale!

SonOfSpam

Saw Tom Jones about 10 years in concert…still energetic as hell, still getting panties thrown at him the entire fucking show, still in great voice.

As midget Welshmen go, he’s a badass.

Senor Weaselo

It’s been Performance Hype Week™ for me which means this’ll be my Billy Joel pick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozDSk9XUkrc

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus
WCS

WCS

As much a I love The Stranger, it’s a bit bloated at times (looking at you, “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant”) . That said, 52nd Street is one of those albums I could listen to, front to back, back to front, diagonal, over and under, 640248 times through, and never once get bored with.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed. That and Glass Houses would be two I’d have to have with me on the proverbial deserted island.

SonOfSpam

Chicago – 25 or 6 to 4 live; RIP Terry Kath, destroying that guitar solo. Just a fucking beast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uAUoz7jimg

SonOfSpam

Watching the Rock n Roll HOF induction thing on HBO…Sheryl Crow is saluting Glenn Frey with a cover of “New Kid in Town” and if that’s not my favorite Eagles song, it’s close.

Gratliff

I have yet to forgive her for “Sweet Child O’ Mine”

SonOfSpam

Yeah, you can have Sheryl Crow. Nothing happening there for me.

But now, they’re getting ready for Chicago’s induction, and damn, do I love old Chicago. (BTW, I’m white.)

theeWeeBabySeamus

You take that back!!!!!
Sheryl Crow – If It Makes You Happy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyihQtBes1I

Gratliff

I’ll take her one tolerable song and raise you a Picture.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKFx0MMqb48

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehe…that’s fair.

SonOfSpam

Sorry, but meh.

Plus. she collaborated with Kid Rock, so check mate.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, also fair.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Billy Joel – You May Be Right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilsv0C1-aBw

WCS

Gratliff

The only thing more impressive than the number of terrific Billy Joel songs is the number of awful Billy Joel songs. The man made a shit ton of music

theeWeeBabySeamus

I saw him live back in the late 80s (smiff center on UNC campus….god help me).
Gotta say he put on as good a show as I’ve ever been to for that sized venue. I won’t say it was the best necessarily, but it was in the top 3.

WCS

Saw him and Elton John together in ’99; life-changing concert.

Wifey and I have tickets to see Billy on July 1 at PNC Park.

SonOfSpam

Saw him from row ZZZ at the Honda Center years ago, and yeah, it’s a great show.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The Cult – Fire Woman
(this particular vid version is very worth actually watching, btw)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZKUmLoSSuM

Gratliff

There will never be another vampire Salma Hayek. It just can’t be done.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Eiza Gonzalez ain’t too terrible in the TV role.
Too bad the show sucks overall.

Gratliff

Now let’s go to bed sad!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP_T8GgcOeY

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why change now?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Smithereens – Blood and Roses
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqML7WbOun8

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Foo Fighters – Monkey Wrench
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKp5v588-Vs

WCS

WCS

WCS

There’s a subtle, underlying message in Cypress Hill’s music. I can’t quite place my finger on it…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Serve your fellow man…..?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Weezer – Island in the Sun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVHUjzZZGQ4

laserguru

Strange dynamic. I’m writing next weeks Sunday Gravy and I haven’t cooked it yet.
But I wrote tomorrows Sunday Gravy last week.

I…
I???
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

That explains why I’m hungry again already.
I think.

laserguru

I could use a bite.

WCS

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Start breaking bricks, wet nip.

laserguru

Music!

Gratliff

And now for my favorite segment, “Racists who don’t understand that their facebook posts are set to public prepare for unemployment”

King Hippo

perfection (skip to 1:00 mark). Can’t believe I forgot this in teh Friday thread. Night all.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I almost posted one of theirs on the overnight last night, with a remark about your gonads.
Thankfully I wasn’t so drunk that I couldn’t inhibit this anti-social behavior.

SonOfSpam

Always thought that if I ever tried heroin (I haven’t…YET), Mazzy Star would be my soundtrack. In no way is that meant as an insult; more like the mellow euphoria I imagine that high to be.

WCS

Ice Stillers tie the series, Dirt Stillers won the game and the series against the Dirt Bengals, and the actual Stillers had themselves a solid draft.

http://www.breakingbadgifs.com/gifs/gifs/mike-ehrmantraut/breaking-bad-gif-mike-ehrmantraut-704443.gif

TIME TO DRANK

King Hippo

This always makes me happy, because I’m a depressed bastard (and I likes opiates):

theeWeeBabySeamus

For the life of me (haha…life) I don’t know why you don’t like Green Day moar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbDN8FxMGEg

King Hippo

I just has to be in teh right mood. He has such an abrasive voice.

theeWeeBabySeamus
King Hippo

Gratliff

I haven’t even watched the series, going in with the assumption that Washington is going to collapse under the weight of its own doubt. Is there anyone who didn’t think the curtain was closing on the Caps when the Flyers won 2 in a row when they should have been dead, and then needed their goalie to win them game 6?

Covalent Blonde

WITCH!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit.
Home ice is fucked, Caps are fucked.
Same shit different year.

WCS

comment image

All square, bizznatches.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Congrats on the hard fought win.
(you fucktard)
😉

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Covalent Blonde

Fuck you, tied series.

Gratliff

Oh god, here we go.

White bitch on CNN: “I think he crossed the line mentioning journalists by name, and I didn’t like him using that word at the end.”

Om nom nom nom. Delicious.

Senor Weaselo

The taeks, there a-comin’.

Covalent Blonde

I have no idea what that “word was at the end end but if it wasn’t “bitches” or “fuckwits” I am disappointed. I look forward to reading this tomorrow

King Hippo

Murray? GODDAMNED PRESENT!!!

NEVAR AGAIN, Fleury

theeWeeBabySeamus

Matt Murray is beginning to piss me off. And I’ve only been watching for like five minutes.

Covalent Blonde

And has only been able to legally drink in this country for like 11 months