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Foxy Footy’s Crowning Weekend? Plus Rounds 4-7!

King Hippo

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As an Evertonian, I’m up early today mostly to boo. Plus I have to wake up kids and drive them around for various school-related shit. Parenting is hard, even half-assed single Dad parenting.

Yes, our dear friends at Leicester City only need 3 points out of 9 (or Spurs to drop 3 of 9, or some combo thereof), thanks to Spurs bottling an easy Monday Night Footy fixture after sitting on a 1-nil lead for a long fucking time. We’uns in 90-95% territory now, and that’s probably an understatement.

Don’t get up TOO EARLY, as there’s nothing before the 10:00 window on Saturday. Which is full of shit matches anyway, with NBCSN and USA both showing dull matches with relegation-fighting sides. I will boo Everton (Tim Howard will play for the first time in months), as will most of the home crowd, since the Board is too lazy/cheap to fire Roberto Martinez ahead of the match against the Cherries. Hate watch on Extra Time!

Even the 12:30 on big NBC is a relegation match (Norwich/Arsenal), plus it cuts into THE DRAFT. Fuck that noise. There are punters to be selected.

The real action is Sunday Funay, with Foxy Footy possibly clinching the title at Old Trafford (9:05, NBCSN). What a perfect “Barbarians at the Gate” setting that would be, yes? Plus it would spare me seeing them clinch against Everton at home the following week, though their fans really deserve to see that moment at home. But I bet they’d be fine with not waiting. If you haven’t seen one footy match all season, watch this one.

Soton and City square off next (11:30, NBCSN), which has meaning in the mildly interesting race for 3rd place between City and Arsenal (City currently leads on goal differential). It’s not totally out of the question that City could catch Spurs if they totally fell apart once the title race ended. But bloody unlikely.

Monday Night Footy is Spurs yet again, this time against Chelski at Stamford Bridge (3:00, NBCSN). Chelski’s run of improved form has gone wobbly of late, but I’m sure they will be up to play spoiler here, as all the London clubs hate for any of the other to succeed. A game to watch if the Foxes leave the door cracked.

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laserguru

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King Hippo

Allow me a moment to say…I love you so much, NFL, even when you don’t love me back (but especially when you do, thanks again for Super Bowl L). I sure enjoyed having you occupy my cerebral cortex again the last 72 hours.

/back to regularly scheduled mind-numbing depression

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I also loved the booooooing of R.G.

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King Hippo

Must give credit to the good folks of Chicago…it were cold, it were rainy as fuck…and they NEVAR got tired and let up on Ginger Hammer. Karma dictates a Foxy wild card appearance this season, at least!

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laserguru

I just yelled “Shut the fuck up!” at my knee.

This shit has really gotten tiresome.

I’m gonna go self medicate.

comment image?w=1000&h=600&crop=1

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I made one from a nose and mouth mask and a Mason jar. You could not take a hit without coughing. It only took a few hit to get home though.

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King Hippo

I re-upped my neck Vicuprofen on Wednesday, and signed up for a steroid injection on 12 May.

OLD FART SOLIDARITY!!!

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makeitsnowondem

These assholes keep saying certain players may take three or four years to develop. I can’t think of a single example right now of a player becoming a good starter after just sitting for four years. The closest I can get is Priest Holmes.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Taking a few years to develop doesn’t mean sitting. Rotation, special teams, etc. Most players take that long to figure out the nuances of the game…..

NO OFFENSE.

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Senor Weaselo

Is it me or does Svengoolie just seem like a crappier version of MST3K, except the movies are passable?

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makeitsnowondem

I guess this has been bugging me most with quarterbacks, because I hear people literally advocating sitting them for four years.

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herodotus450

If only there was some lower level of competition they could play with/against, and maybe that team/league could be some sort of adulthood transition program where you learn skills and knowledge that would be useful for life after, and during, football. AND maybe this knowledge transition process could take place in a “room” full of other people, “mates” if you will, collectively known as a “class.”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, it’s a mix; you start them too soon and we see what happens. You don’t give them live action and they don’t learn fast enough. The old model was to sit a rookie behind a starter for a couple of years, but we are too impatient, the game is too impatient. Starting a QB right away can be disastrous under the wrong circumstances. Sometimes with the right coaching and team around him they can begin to figure out how to sustain after a half season.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Too many variables to make generalized statements; some can and some need the time and everything in between.

http://49.media.tumblr.com/d36d713f0836e7e3617e98540544b4cf/tumblr_muoq6gpGdi1qzhnmco1_500.gif

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herodotus450

Id say EXCEPT for running backs, rookie production is by far the exception and not the rule. Maybe punter?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Most RBs, the problem is it takes them a while to figure out blitz pick-up. “LOOK OUT!”

http://45.media.tumblr.com/1533351fcf5016e0e2a9b23a42e1ffd2/tumblr_o329rpBrGt1v89iy5o3_400.gif

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makeitsnowondem

Rooting for Sherrick McManis to be Mr. Irrelevant.

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King Hippo

Methinks when the draft board runs dry, teams say “fuck it, just give me somebody from Clemson.”

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Unsurprised

NSFW, but too good not to share. http://www.imagebam.com/image/9ef701480119530

(And you all should really be running uBlock origin on your browsers, BTW)

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King Hippo

Denver started BOTH the fullback run AND the punter run. We are SO FASHION FORWARD.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Guest on Dan Patrick show; would bang?

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Unsurprised

Sure. Why not?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just checking.

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makeitsnowondem

Now drinking Abita Louisiana Spiced Ale. It’s all right. I wanted a bit more given the impressive list of spices.

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Unsurprised

Nutmeg?

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makeitsnowondem

thank god no

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makeitsnowondem

hang on did this guy play basketball

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theeWeeBabySeamus

WHEN DOES THE HOCKEY AND BASEBALL START?
I need a nap.

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Unsurprised

I want the job of applying and shaping the shaving cream just right.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Sorry, just need to touch up this part again.”
“Sorry, just need to touch up this part again.”
“Sorry, just need to touch up this part again.”
“Sorry, just need to touch up this part again.”
“Sorry, just need to touch up this part again.”
“Sorry, just need to touch up this part again.”
“Sorry, just need to touch up this part again.”
“Sorry, just need to touch up this part again.”

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King Hippo

Draft Scooby Wright PLEAZ

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WCS

YOU’LL GET A SAFETY AND LIKE IT.

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King Hippo

Hey, right skool at least!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Schitt….draft still a thing?

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Unsurprised

The source video cut off her head, not me.

http://115.imagebam.com/download/RFkPK1vhyVOinEulKJ5Ffg/47958/479574484/nina_agdal_6.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hope they get the chair!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, you didn’t mean literally.

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Unsurprised

Yeah, but they still deserve the chair for shitty cinematography.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly don’t see the problem. Nice ass. Nice waist. Nice boobies. And no emasculating looks telling me “yeah right”.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am merely the messenger for this joke.

A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, “You won’t believe what happened! I was taking a shortcut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to the rails. I untied her, and we had sex over and over again. All the positions; everything!”His friend replies, “That’s great! Did you get a blowjob?”
“No, I couldn’t find her head.”

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Unsurprised

Throatjob gets a whole new meaning when there’s just a neck stump.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Decapitated….8/10.
Would bang.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Guess I should not have read the Broncos site comments.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/04d8548724bc10072cfaeb89b82aee38/tumblr_o223m0Rc3T1rwuuvro4_1280.jpg

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makeitsnowondem

Never read Broncos site comments. I nearly got my ass banned from their message boards for being too mean to the token British nationalist.

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WCS

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_NFL_draft

Someone dun DERPED.

Check it out before it’s fixed.

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Senor Weaselo

Did anyone screenshot it?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a great photo. I mean the whole thing, not just the model.

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King Hippo

Mayock to Zimmer: “How long have you been on this kid?”

SERIOUSLY, are we not doing phrasing anymore??

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Unsurprised

A proud supporter of the second amendment.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Am I the only one who really wants the Prometheus (Alien) sequel to happen?
Yeah, I probably am.
*sigh*
http://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc0m49fYUA1qeksb7o2_250.gif

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makeitsnowondem

Prometheus is such an incredibly smart movie buried in a second, incredibly dumb, movie.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite?
I wanna see more of the Creators tho. Damn my brain…I really do.

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makeitsnowondem

What the shit? I just had to approve my own comment.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Was it semi-satisfying while also being shameful and a disappointment?
If I had a nickel….

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makeitsnowondem

Yes but that’s every time I comment anyway

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Unsurprised

I could’ve made it smaller after all. Oh well.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Another positive moment for social media, evahbody!!!!!!

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makeitsnowondem

VITALE! Northwestern alum here and I fucking love this guy.

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King Hippo

Did you curse our equine Lord and Savior for taking the Cornhusker instead?

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makeitsnowondem

Nah, Vitale probably wasn’t the the player Denver wanted. He’s a spread-offense guy whose primary role for NU was receiver. Good hands, good route-runner, smart, tough, but he’d never make it as a traditional lead blocker.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Can he take a gas mask bong hit without coughing??

NO OFFENSE.

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makeitsnowondem

Dan Vitale is a gritty hardworking type who has never taken a bong hit in his life, thank you very much.

What I’m saying is probably no.

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laserguru

True story! Back in the early 80’s when I was in the Quad Cities we used to have the annual “Hash Bash!” The only beer allowed was Mickey’s malt liquor and we would smoke hash using a bowl that was fitted into the end of the hose that ran into the gas mask. You would inhale, inhale and when the entire gas mask was filled with smoke, you take the bowl off of the hose, creating the carburetor effect.

It was a full fucking face hit.

The house we used to hold the event at had a flight of rickety ass stone steps, probably 40 of them that led down to the street.

I actually don’t have too many more details to add than that.

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King Hippo

A THIRD FULLBACK!!! Tis the very heart of madness. Surely a flood of punters is around the bend?

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WCS

Gregggggggggggggggggggggggggggg has such a RAGING clue right now.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

IS HE FROM BOSTON?

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Brocky

It’s appropriate that after its first winning season in a decade, Indiana football is losing its only two decent players in one year. Back to mediocrity for the hoosiers.

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WCS

Only nine more months until this guy is back to pollute the human gene pool!
http://wdrb.images.worldnow.com/images/9024154_G.jpg

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is he having babies?

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King Hippo

oh snap, the fullback run is ON!!

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King Hippo

I am SUPER HYPE about the Donks’ draft except for hating Paxton Lynch. Then again, I have to remind myself that a QB from Memphis pretty much a pure guess on my (and everyone’s) part, so I should just relax and see what happens.

But I really like the mix of positional need, upside, and value. Booker falling to the supplemental 4 was just sublime. Hillman is now just where I like him, as a 3rd string homerun threat/depth option.

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makeitsnowondem

Yeah, who knows how it’ll actually shake out (I see you, Moose!), but I love these players. Gotsis and Simmons look like good replacements or even upgrades for Jackson and Bruton. Everything about Booker says “zone back.” McGovern will probably start, because the line is still very bad and he can play at least three positions. Janovich can actually run from the fullback position and might give defenses one more thing to think about, plus he looks like another special teams stud.

And I know I’m warmer on Paxton Lynch than you are, but I really do like his upside, and even if he doesn’t play this year burning the draft pick on him won’t sink the team.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think he is two years out, but entirely trust Elway at this point.

NO OFFENSE.

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King Hippo

Gotsis could be an absolute MONSTER. He doesn’t have to start right away, have plenty of bodies to rotate in, so we could go upside there instead of immediate floor. LOVED that. And you’re right, the special teams could be awesome next season, which is always neat.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rotate! Keep the line penises fresh.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I need to either decide to go to tonight’s baseball, or not and start drinking heavily.
I read that as “positional weed upside down”. Which, for the record, I am not opposed to.
/might need an intervention

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like the Lynch pin…. pick; he is a QB in training; won’t start for one or two years and if he is another Brocky so be it. I trust Elway on what they are doing since… you know, a little success so far. Plus funny pressers. Gotta keep one in the chamber, so to speak.

NO OFFENSE.

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King Hippo

yep, I agree with the PROCESS and trust the decisionmakers. I figured Prescott would be a similar developmental guy, and we could have taken him at 94 and Jack at 31 instead of just Lynch at 26.

But if you think Lynch is special…you roll the bones. I can respect that. And Elway won’t look a gift horse in the mouth, and I trust he’s being objective this time (my issue with the reach pick of Brock Lobster).

I am looking forward to 2016 being The Year of Sanchize Donks, fo sho. It will be fun, and maybe even good!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Elway…gift horse.
Jokes just write themselves.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think Brock had (has) similar potential; when you pick lower you have to take one almost every draft and if they don’t work out so be it, if they do; Tom Brady (sorry) or at least a starter for a while.

The other thing I like about it is the Cowboys were going to trade up and take him and they beat them to it (I know).

NO OFFENSE.

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King Hippo

And they ended up taking our Plan B, who was my Plan A!

So sad, I wanted them stuck with Cardale Jones.

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WCS

Because the internet is a horrid place, populated by vile beings, some are calling the Vikings’ choice of that guy from Germany a “travesty,” a “disgrace,” a, “national embarrassment,” and, “affront to American values.”

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makeitsnowondem

What could be more American than generosity toward German receivers? Do these people even remember the Marshall Plan?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

German receivers? Are they made there?

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laserguru

Outstanding musical selection.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah it is.

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laserguru

I didn’t think it was possible but this news makes me love my team even more.

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