Your “This Was A Surprise?” Monday Open Thread

FYI: As one of DFO’s official “Noticers of esoterica”, it’s my job to point out that DFO reached 1500 posts this weekend. And the wizard behind post 1500? Balls, with the AFL Beat. Well done all around.

The Jags pre-season highlights just keep coming: Shaq Thompson was involved in a head-on collision Sunday morning outside of Charlotte. We might as well run the “Breaking: Jaguars” scroll every couple of days until the season starts.

I don’t think any of us are shocked by the revelation that the NFL attempted to influence or derail Congress’ investigation into concussions. Those killjoys over at Deadspin lay out the case pretty clearly that NFL HQ just doesn’t give a damn. Peter King and the SI crew do there darndest to both tell you something happened while trying to deflect so as to maintain PK’s media access. In honesty, Melissa Jacob’s article on changing the length of the season would be valid points on any other day; today, it feels like balancing the tracks so the Acela Excreta can keep rolling. Over at PFT, Florio has words from NFLPA executive director DeMaurice Smith about this being another example of the League being “out of control”.

Meanwhile, over at nfl.com,

Actually, it’s about Brady’s appeal and the start of the owners meetings in Charlotte (which bathroom will Mark Davis choose?), but it might as well be nothing. If this can’t bring down Goodell, then nothing will.

Tonight’s playoff action!

NHL: Sharks @ Blues – 8:00 (Game 5; series tied 2-2)

NBA: Cavs @ Raptors – 8:30 (Game 4; Cavs lead 2-1)

Short write-up today, as I’m on day-4 of my weekend. There’s been drinking, whale watching, drinking, a four year-old niece’s birthday party at a bowling alley, and drinking. I REGRET NOTHING

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spanky Datass

Welp, Second night in a row that violent weather has woken my drunk ass up in the early am. Just hope the electricity isn’t knocked out for 17+ hours as per last night. FUCK.

Wakezilla

Holy shit, that was an incredibly busy long weekend. I can’t wait to go to work to take a break. F*cking adulthood being lame.

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Unsurprised

I like that she posted this on her instagram last Tuesday:
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Wakezilla

She knows her fanbase.

Unsurprised

I am a fan, and I’d like to slide into her like a base.

Unsurprised

Is it weird to be fascinated by articles about the porn business? Doesn’t matter, I guess. It’s not like I can use it to further my career.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I liked the movie but Cap was the bad guy. Betraying everyone to save a terrorist, then going all in and just being a terrorist

Wakezilla

I thought it was a good movie that could have been great had they cut about 30 minutes of dialogue and they actually resolved something. Instead, we got a 2 and a half hour trailer of MCU’s franchise plans. Don’t get me wrong, MCU’s future movies look promising, but it’d be nice if they paid more attention to the film they’re actually making.

I think the fact the emotional component, which was supposed to drive the film, fell flat. Perhaps it would have worked if the film cut some of the stuff or re-ordered things.

Also, everyone on the Avengers are horrible people for not recognizing Tony Stark has severe PTSD and appears to be on the verge of suicide.

Unsurprised

I think he was on Charlie Rose or something, but Barry Sonnenfeld was talking about making the first MIB and how it was under 90 minutes because that’s about the length of a the average person’s attention span. His two Addams Family movies were 94 and 99 minutes long. Get Shorty was 105 minutes and it’s a goddamn masterpiece.

My point is, none of these Marvel movies should be pushing 2:45 and getting increasingly longer. The idea of a 4 hour BvS cut is insane. Cut the shit already.

Unsurprised

Meanwhile, the average Marvel comic fell to 20-21 pages last I read (a few years ago). Image Comics issues are 16 pages. That would make a six-issue trade like 115-120 pages. Seems like a good script length and movie length, if a little long even then.

There’s too much exposition in movies, too!

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/019/304/old.jpg

Wakezilla

Movies being that long makes me just want to stream them at home so I can press pause to take a pee break. If it has a 2hr 45 minutes run time, not only do you have to stay for the entire run time because of easter eggs, but, there’s like 30 minutes of previews. It’s maddening.

http://files.sharenator.com/Iron_Man_Cosplay_2-s435x700-318534.jpg

Unsurprised

I liked the airport fight. The end fight was hit and miss. The rest I could do without.

WCS

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I want an edit button not so I can hide my shame of shitty opinions, you guys can know that. I want it so I can switch a “who” to a “which”

WCS

Hover your mouse pointer next to the time stamp of your post for about a second, and it should change to the “click” pointer. That’s where the edit button is.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I use Ghostery and AdBlock. I think one of them hides it on me. I will mess around with Ghostery since I assume that is the thing blocking it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Turned everything off, still nothing

WCS

That’s weird, because I also use both, and always have had the ability to edit.

ballsofsteelandfury

Voilà, c’est fait.

WCS

As Unsurprised alluded to way the hell down-page, Jurassic Park the book is infinitely better than the movie. And, I very much enjoyed the movie, but the novel is absolutely one of my favorites.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I remember liking he book more as well. I forget the whole book and movie details though. Hammond died in the first movie, came back in the second movie and I think novels? If we are going favorite Crichton novels I lean Congo, which had a just terrible movie.

WCS

Sphere is also an excellent book. The only good thing about the movie was Huey Lewis’ cameo as a helicopter pilot.

Also, Hammond survives the first movie, but, not the book.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think that about every movie other than Terminator 2. Edward Furlong did a great job, yeah he was way too 90’s but it worked.

Unsurprised

I didn’t say that.

The movie is way better than the book. I just prefer Muldoon’s fate in the book because he actually gets to be awesome instead of whacked offscreen like a chump.

Brocky

Google image search is a weird place:

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Unsurprised

Is it Kick A Ginger Day again already?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The DFO fan page on Facebook is lonelier than a P•ts fan at the NAACP convention.

Porky Prime

FACK THIS PLACE HOWCUM WHEN I CALL THEM CULLAHD I’M THE FACKIN ASSHOLE BUT THEYAH WHOLE AHHGANIZATION SAYS THEYAH CULLAHD PEOPLE?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Apparently, they used to bus in Marines from 29 Palms to fill the audience at Married … With Children tapings. I’m surprised there weren’t more murders than a Niners-Raiders game.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is one of my all -time favorite reaction shots.

Unsurprised

That’s actually a pretty impressive feat of agility to turn and show the face just long enough before face-planting to the ground.

Unsurprised

I had an interesting afternoon. I finally got some heavy shit off my chest, and it was just that — shit. I’m feeling so much better than I have for the last six-plus months, if not longer.

Oh, and I think the appropriate Goodell quote in the scrolling thingie should be “The taxpayers should thank us for only wasting $16 million on this one.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Usually around these parts, guys pay for the other way around.

Unsurprised

So I’ve heard.

I mean, that’s really the reason anyone even acknowledges Cleveland, right?

Porky Prime

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Unsurprised

The Indian pays double.

Brocky

since rockingdog posted a gif earlier:

http://www.thatchickensite.com/letters/streetsharks/ss1-034.gif

I had the slammu action figure, but it always bothered me that a “whale street shark” had sharp teeth.

this was serious shit when I was a kid

Porky Prime

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Unsurprised

You mean the bipedal, air-breathing, talking whale shark? That is where you abandon your suspension of disbelief?

Brocky

Yes.

I never said i was a rational kid.

Unsurprised

Fair enough.

Porky Prime

Am I doing this right? It’s been a while.

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WCS

Not a bad start.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, yes you are.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Verily I say….good show, ol’ man.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Tenacious D was mentioned, I am already 15 minutes into what will be at least an hour of me listening to them

Tenacious D – Kyle Took a Bullet for me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–3Za3X_pus

Porky Prime

THESE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS I CALL THEM ROBERT MULDOON, BECAUSE THEY GOT EATEN ALIVE BY THE RAPTORS.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Clever Girl.

WCS

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Unsurprised

As great as this scene is, I have to admit that it’s also really cool that he survived and blew up a raptor with a rocket launcher in the book.

rockingdog

Let me post this right here….
https://streamable.com/i7j9
https://cdn.streamable.com/video/mp4/i7j9.mp4

NBA Playoffs with Jackass music