Copa America Centenario Preview – Group C – Panama

Before anything, click play on this:

The Canaleros, which is a nickname that sounds dirtier than it is (it means The Canal People), arrive to Copa America Centenario with pretty much the same squad that they have used for the 2018 World Cup qualifiers.  The full roster is here:

The head coach may seem familiar to some of you soccer aficionados as he is the man that was a big part of coaching the “golden generation” of Colombian soccer back in the 90s, Hernan Dario “El Bolillo” Gomez. The fact that his nickname is a piece of bread tells you all you need to know about him.  Think Ole Wade during the Cowboys era.

This is a bolillo. Split it open when it’s warm and put some butter and sugar on it. You’re welcome.

He is a very likable guy when he is not hitting any women and has led the Colombian and Ecuadorian National Teams to World Cup berths. No, Ray, she did not apologize.

His squad is almost completely comprised of a group of guys that play in the first and second divisions of the various leagues in the Americas (North, Central, and South).  They do have their own A-rod, but no one knows if he’s fucked Madonna yet.

What can we expect from Panama?  Well, much like the Panama Papers, they’ll be in the spotlight for like a week or so and then everyone will forget about them and go about their business as usual

Here is their time in the spotlight:

JUNE 6

PANAMA
VS
BOLIVIA
ORLANDO, FL
Camping World Stadium
7:00PM ET

JUNE 10

ARGENTINA
VS
PANAMA
CHICAGO, IL
Soldier Field
9:30PM ET

JUNE 14

CHILE
VS
PANAMA
PHILADELPHIA, PA
Lincoln Financial Field
8:00PM ET
Projected Copa America Centenario performance:  3 and out with maybe a tie against Bolivia in the first game.  Best case scenario is a win in the first game followed by two losses.
Fun Fact that I did not know:
Jordana Brewster, of the Fast and Furious movies, was born in Panama!
Is the song over yet?  Ok, my work is done here.
ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy
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If you think “canal people” isn’t dirty, then you and I have not been watching the same lesbian erotica.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

More explicit:

comment image

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
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SEE!?!?! TRUMP AND CRUZ AND ALL THEM WERE RIGHT! THESE FORNERS ARE COMING INTO THE YOUNITED STATES AND TAKING OUR JERBS!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Member

Pansy soccer-playing jerbs though they may be.

Don T
Member

Awesome. Can’t wait to see them play and hopefully rough up the Chileans in a must-win game.
Here’s to Los Rabanes, the most awesome Panamanian band, until they went *ugh* full reggaetón after their first two albums:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5u5w4fl2Z5g

Spur
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Spur

Hodor

Cuntler
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Was this preview any good? Let’s go to David Lee Roth:

http://www.the80srocks.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/david-lee-roth.jpg

blaxabbath
Member

Yeah baBAAYYYYYYY!!!!!

King Hippo
Member

I have seen exactly nada de Los Fast y Furioso movies, but I would still like to subscribe to Ms. Brewster’s canal…er, I mean newsletter.

scotchnaut
Member

“A man a plan, anal.” is my favourite palindrome.

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