I am very drunk. Lady Maestro is away and it’s currently 90 degrees in town here, which is extremely unusual for this part of the world. I’d been planning on seeing a baseball game tonight (the Cuban national team is playing our local AA squad) but I just can’t deal with frying myself to a crisp for several hours. So it’s been a driving range session this morning and then many beers instead for me inside with air-conditioning, mercifully. Forgive me for any typos I am about to make.
Let’s do a little roundup of tonight’s goings-on in the world of sports:
Copa America:
- Argentina v. Venezuela – 7 PM ET: Messi and the crew is currently ahead 1-0 as I write this.
- Mexico v. Chile – 10 PM ET: the other quarterfinal matchup – my money is on Mexico here, but then again, I haven’t paid attention to a lick of this tournament because Soccer Canada runs the remedial football education program of the world, apparently.
Beisbol:
- CWS vs. CLE – live
- PIT vs. CHC – 8:15 PM
- ATL vs. NYM – 8:15 PM
- DET vs. KC – 8:15 PM
- WSH vs. SD – 10:10 PM
- MIL vs. LAD – 10:10 PM
UFC
The other cool things happening in my city tonight is UFC Fight Night! It’s the first UFC event we’ve ever had here in town, and two Canadians highlight the card- Rory MacDonald takes on Stephen Thompson in a welterweight bout. Also has Donald Cerrone vs. Patrick Cote; Steve Bosse vs. Sean O’Connell; Olivier Aubin-Mercier vs. Thibault Gouti; and Valerie Letourneau vs. Joanne Calderwood. Starts at 10:30 on FS1!
Other Sports:
US Diving is having their final Olympic quals starting at 8 PM happening over on OLN.
NASCAR has the Speediatrics 200 from Iowa Speedway, starting 8:30 on FS1. Why the fuck do people watch NASCAR on TV again?
There’s probably other shit on, I dunno. I’m too busy with beers right now to bother. Pass the bottle opener.
3-nil leads are TOO MAINSTREAM
http://67.media.tumblr.com/b2e6da17274facc34def806857c0e40a/tumblr_mj8l744OgC1r2q0z9o1_1280.jpg
http://tattoomagz.com/wp-content/uploads/bible-verse-against-tattoos-tattoos-and-the-bible-the-tattooed-engineer-14431.jpg
I am watching Cubs-Pirates on a Saturday night. Apparently you can’t get a boner if you watch Saturday night baseball, and Viagra shows up really well in airport x-rays. When does football start?
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzal3eUSDo1qedb29o1_500.gif
Oh, there it is. Thanks!
Pissing down rain at the SCG.
http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/94/27/0134b71aec73d1eed67621ffd6d8789c-rc-car-detonates-hydrogen-balloon.gif
Fast And Furious XII: The Electric Car Boogaloo
Staring theWeeBabySeamus. In theaters this Christmas.
http://tvblogs.nationalgeographic.com/files/2014/07/big-guy-swing-set.gif
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los hipsters del futbol lookin’ bueno
107 beers is 1284 ounces. With some dubious sources and approximations, that comes out to 46 liters of CO2 (at atmospheric pressure I guess? And totally free, not dissolved in a liquid) At 30 mL per burp, thats 1540 burps.
(http://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=81303, http://theconversation.com/health-check-the-ins-and-outs-of-burping-and-farting-26453, the 30 mL comes from volume of a fart, but I couldn’t find anything about burps, and they’re pretty much the same thing eh? Just from different ends.
PV = nRT
NEVAR FORGET!!!!
You can’t spell pervert without PV = nRT.
It’s called the ideal gas LAW, but the concept of an ideal gas is an approximation, so how can there be a law about it?
/failed chemistry 3 out of 4 tries
//not really, but “never was very good at chemistry” just doesn’t have the same ring to it
How much is the U.S. going to lose by Argentina by? 3? 4?
7, or better yet ,34, would be GREAT by me…
Swannies v Demons at 23:00
http://s.afl.com.au/staticfile/AFL%20Tenant/Media/Videos/Thumbnails/749431_thumb.jpg
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all this fancy math is great but how big of a burp would all those beers make at the end though
107 beers is 1284 ounces. At a rate of 21 mL/sec (https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003325.htm), it would take about 1800 seconds or 30 minutes for it to be pee’d out. Not as ridiculous as I was expecting.
107 beers is 1284 ounces, which is about 38 liters of liquid. The total volume of blood in a 100 kg human is about 7.7 liters.
So 5 humans in blood, give or take.
What channel is Mexico-Chile on?
moved to f/x tonight for some odd reason
Do I get a third Trenta of iced coffee to go with the two I’ve had and two mugs of better coffee I got immediately before that, or do I want to sleep this week?
I don’t want to sleep this week.
I think I’m seriously jealous of Marlins Guy.
So no one, ever.
*Said no one, ever.
I just realized something about the banner pic.
Warm Bud Light and cold pussy — we’re dealing with monsters here.
107 beers is 1284 ounces. At a price of 23000 per kg, it would cost about 1 million dollars to send the beer into geosynchronous orbit.
Oh, I imagine SpaceX could get it there for far less.
But they can’t stick the landing.
But would you trust them with your precious cargo? I sure wouldn’t!
I imagine they’d do a better job accounting for liquid shifting during takeoff than NASA did in The Martian. 😛
$44,881 if I did the math correctly.
Human interest stories: they tug at the heart…and fog the mind.
Evening. I went straight through from 11-9 after waking up at 10:30. That entire time was spent in a tux. Goddamn does it feel good to be out. And to have eaten something. Whaddawe got?
Apparently figuring out the number of ways to parcel out the amount of fluid in 107 beers.
Here’s a comprehensive, academically rigorous study of football hooliganism in the UK:
http://www.academia.edu/3308933/The_Firm_Towards_a_Study_of_400_Football_Hooligan_Gangs
For reference: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2rr877
You know, everybody talks about the realism of the downtown shootout in Heat, and for good reason, but Sill’s post about the 60 lbs. of cereal marshmallows reminded me of something that I want to add to that.
Assuming that they did steal $12 million dollars and pack it into 3 duffle bags, even if it was all in $100 bills, each bag would weigh 80 lbs.
I don’t know how many of you have actually carried an 80 lb. duffle bag on one shoulder or across your chest, but it is not fucking easy. Tom Sizemore is carrying two into the car during the robbery. And given Michael Mann’s penchant for accuracy, I have no doubt those bags actually weighed 80 lbs. each.
Now, carrying them is one thing. They have a single strap and the weight shifts and if you have to carry one up stairs like I did you’ll probably think your heart is about to explode out of your chest when you stop (and I only had to carry it up two floors), although to be fair I’m out of shape. On the other hand, I was 23.
ANYWAY, if the actors had to do the whole fucking shootout carrying those things the way they do, then that is a feat and I am in awe.
I do like that when Val Kilmer was loading the cash into the bags, they made it clear that it was really damned heavy.
The thud when he drops the first one on the vault floor sounds like a body being dumped.
Chile’s auto industry can be summed up in one sentence:
“As of 2011 the Chile automotive industry has produced no vehicles and is today non-existent and relies solely on imported vehicles.”
107 beers is 1284 ounces, which at 5% alcohol is 64.2 ounces of ethanol. At 1.5 ounces per shot of 40% spirits, that’s 107 shots. Huh.
1.5 oz shots? I’ve been getting backdoored.
12 oz beer at 5%, 5% wine at 12%, 1.5 oz shot at 40% are the standards for One (1) Drink, as far as I’m concerned. They all come out to the same amount of actual alcohol per Drink.
Never mind. I’m just dumb.
gif request FOAR the Sweet Dee Boss Hogg hallucinaton PLEAZ!!
http://hilounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/gt91p.gif
107 beers is 1284 ounces which, at 1.5 oz per shot, is 856 shots (of beer). At one shot per minute, that’s over 14 hours of power hour. Or as Keith Jackson would say, powers hour.
Mexico has designed and built (mostly) a sports car.
It’s called the Mastretta MXT, and here it is.
http://blog.topmotors.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Mastretta-MXT-R.jpg
If your first thought was “Wow, that looks a lot like a Lotus Elise!” you’re not alone. Built in Mexico State on top of a Ford drivetrain, it’s powered by a turbocharged 4-cylinder making 240 bhp with a top speed around 150. It went on sale in 2011 for $58K, which is a truly shocking amount of money.
Unfortunately I can’t find any for sale. Or any current information about the company.
a 4-banger in that nice of a body seems kind of disappointing though imo regardless of turbo, especially at 58k. i’d personally want at least a v6
4-banger saves weight. They wanted it to have that ultralight go-kart feel.
Isn’t that why Clarkson, Hammond, and May aren’t allowed back in Mexico?
Here’s the clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6uhxH924ao
They apologized and Hammond eventually went there to road test the car following this race:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKBGcQfp1DI
Is that an Adobe?
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/adobe/n9492
http://itsalways.peerflyluke.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/California-USA.gif
This is banner-worthy.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/06/18/your-good-god-its-too-hot-for-this-crap-saturday-evening-open-thread/#comment-195335
107 beers is 1284 ounces, which is about 1/5 of a whole barrel of whiskey (195 L)
But then when you compare alcohol content and calories, whiskey wins every time.
Oh hell…I might have to order this.
http://shop.fxnetworks.com/imgcache/product/resized/000/822/492/catl/always-sunny-give-me-a-hot-dog-baby-t-shirt_1000.jpg?k=be3d59a2&pid=822492&s=catl&sn=fx
http://shop.fxnetworks.com/always-sunny-give-me-the-hot-dog-baby-t-shirt/detail.php?p=822492
107 beers is 1284 ounces, which is about 7594 ejaculations worth of liquid, using an average of 5 mL (.17 oz) per jizz. If you have sex (to completion!) 5 times a week, that would be almost 30 years worth.
wade boggs never really struck me as the cumchugger type, but i won’t judge him for it even if he is
107 (12 oz) beers is 1284 ounces, which is 80.25 pounds.
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/108/4369/640/wade1.jpg
i wanna talk about wade boggs for a bit
how feasible is it that somebody from this site could recreate the plane thing as he did (and yes i know it’s always sunny did it already but it’s fucking fiction)
i ask because i think the most beers i’ve ever drunk in a, say, 9-hour setting was like 14 (i am not a very large man)
how many beers could you drink in like a 24 hour period (apparently the boggs record is actually 107)
Back when I was drinking I was putting away a liter of Stoli a night.
I never was much of a beer drinker.
Me too! We should be dead!
yeah
Oh. The guy I know in Seattle was at the game and is pro-American Outlaws. So no pissing on Teddy Roosevelt by that gentleman.
Blech. Piss on HIM instead??
He’s bigger than me, and I’d rather not get my ass kicked.
why is bugs stoned at the end of this gif though
Good planning?
oh, huzzah! Argentina is the side that will play teh US. PREPARE YOUR ANUSES, American “Outlaws.”
It’s only just the stupidest thing ever.
4 — 1
http://static.donquijote.org/images/tops/520/argentina-food.jpg
3 — 1
http://carnaval.com/venezuela/food/tequeno.jpg
I am currently downtown, enjoying a fine ale, and awaiting the Carol Burnett show at the Queen E.
I didn’t know she was still working.
It’s a spoken tour. I’m sure there will be clips and discussions.
Growing up on her syndicated broadcasts, she was a huge part of my early comedy tv watching.
As long as she breaks down the “Went With The Wind” sketch, I will consider the evening a success.
dang man, she’s 83, that’s awesome
Have a Japadog for me!
MYessir.
3 — 0
http://thelatinkitchen.com/sites/default/files/styles/recipe-big/public/main/1355/choripan-con-chimichurri-main.jpg
ah, leo messi did a thing
the pirates centre fielder drew a walk
i wanted him to strike out
then i couldve called him andrew mcbuttchen
so disappointing really
My left shift key is sticking.
That’s not annoying at all.
I am using a wireless keyboard because the keyboard on my refurbished laptop just half stopped working (as in half the keys don’t work) like a month into me having it. It is like a $23 fix, I haven’t gotten around to fixing it
it’s a repost, but I think everyone needs to see a 60 lb. bag of cereal marshmallows at least once in their life:
sweet shitfuck, i think i have diabeetus from just looking at this thing
Worth it.
Have you seen the state of foot and leg prosthetics these days?
I don’t know about cheesecake, but it could be something from some bdsm sites with some creepy caption under it because people are fucking weird.
I can’t help but be jealous of JSD and his Eastern European tripartite arrangement last night. I’ve never been in any kind of relationship or even had a romantic or sexual, well, anything with anyone. And I’m too old to start now having the social and sexual IQ of a thirteen year old boy and being nearly forty. I take that back. I know a guy who knocked up a girl at thirteen. A couple, maybe. The wonders of being Mexican.
Anyway, I hate the world and everything in it. I hate being alone. I hate being poor and too weak to just work my way out of it and let the bar exam take care of itself while I dig myself out of immaturity. Finding a legal job is pointless without the license and no one I know wants me as a law clerk or whatever you call a non-practicing dipshit like me.
I wish I had some good words of wisdom for you, but at the moment all I can do is lend an ear and raise a glass. Whatcha drinkin tonight?
Gordon, what do you think?
Goddamnit Gordon, you’re such an asshole. I don’t even know why I asked.
i hope the banner picture doesn’t count as cheesecake dtzm
if you think so i am sorry and will buy more beers for everyone as penance
I like PBR, actually, so at least I’m cheap.
Hey, the Golden Girls stuck their cheesecake in the freezer, so…