Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Round 23 (Last of the Regular Season)

You know, they say every end is a new beginning and I certainly subscribe to this theory.  As much as I dislike that one Semisonic song,

they do have a point. Maybe one day I will write a jjfozz-type hate-filled diatribe about this song and video, but I don’t have the time today.   We need to get to the recap of the last games of the season for those not in the top eight, discuss why the next AFL Beat will NOT have game recaps, and do a quick look-ahead to the finals. All of this on

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

The Round started with Friday Night Footy (Friday morning in North America) with a surprise that no one but WhyEaglesWhy saw coming and that completely changed the finals matchups.  I like to think that WEW’s pick of West Coast Eagles to beat the Adelaide Crows (cross-town rivals of his own Port Adelaide Power) was done out of sheer spite and hatred.  In any case, it worked.  This loss opened up the door for three other teams (Geelong, Hawthorn, and GWS) to vault over the Crows and potentially drop Adelaide from second on the ladder to fifth and out of the double chance.

I haven’t seen a better use of hands and balls since the last time I was with a certain lady:

Geelong was the first team to capitalize on proper Friday night as they took care of business against the Melbourne Demons by 111 points!  It was a great display and one of the rare times the Cats didn’t play down to the level of the opposition this year.  This bodes very well for finals.  Here is Steven Motlop waltzing in for a relatively easy goal:

and here is Sam Menegola’s sweet goal from just inside the 50:

We got another surprise on the other end of the ladder when Essendon beat the Carlton Blues by a score of 103-79 to tie the Brisbane Lions on points with three wins on the year!  This year may end up being a blessing in disguise as the Bombers have discovered young talent that has improved over the course of the season.  They should improve greatly in 2017.  Here are a couple of highlights showing what the youngsters can do:

Later, the Sydney Swans solidified their standing as the regular season champions with a 113 point demolishing of the Richmond Tigers. I like the title of this video:

Here is another way Sydney can kill teams:

The Swans are going to be extremely tough to beat in the finals this year.  I’m glad the Cats won’t have to face them, if at all, until the Grand Final.  Assuming the Cats make it that far, of course.

You know, it seems that Port giveth and Port taketh away.  WEW was the only one to pick West Coast on our Footy Tipping Contest and he was one of two (me being the other one) to pick Gold Coast to beat the Power at home.  Which they didn’t.  This team is so frustrating that it is easy to see why a Philadelphia Eagles fan would choose it.

Highlights from both sides:

The GWS Giants were the next team to capitalize on Adelaide’s loss.  They handily beat the North Melbourne Kangaroos by

This vaulted the Giants into the top four and a date with the Sydney Swans.  A Sydney Derby for Finals Week One?  Yes please!

Here is Stevie J doing his Stevie J thing:

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I love the AFL Social Media team’s love of alliteration:

North American Saturday night brought three more games and a couple of more surprises.  First up, the St. Kilda Saints tied the North Melbourne Kangaroos on points with a convincing 58 point win over Brisbane. It wasn’t enough of a beatdown to give the Lions the Wooden Spoon as Essendon just barely “beat” them by .5 percentage points, but it was still an embarrassing finish for Brisbane. I mean, they ended up tied on points with a team that lost 12 of its players for the year.

This should give you an idea as to why Brisbane is Brisbane:

Later that night, Fremantle pulled off a big surprise by beating the finals-bound Western Bulldogs at home by a score of 69-49.  I don’t see Western going too far in the playoffs playing like that. The best thing about this game was that Fremantle legend Matthew Pavlich was able to score his 700th goal in the last game of his career.  That’s a great way to go out:

And so we get to the Hawthorn-Collingwood.   The surprise was, well, see for yourself:

As theeWeeBabySeamus likes to say, “Fucking Hawthorn!”  This result vaults the Hawks into 3rd place and a Qualifying Final matchup against our Geelong Cats.

Let’s take a look at the Final Standings on the ladder:

PLACE TEAM G W T L % POINTS
1 Sydney Swans 22 17 0 5 151.20 68
2 Geelong Cats 22 17 0 5 143.80 68
3 Hawthorn Hawks 22 17 0 5 118.60 68
4 GWS Giants 22 16 0 6 143.10 64
5 Adelaide Crows 22 16 0 6 138.30 64
6 West Coast Eagles 22 16 0 6 130.00 64
7 Western Bulldogs 22 15 0 7 115.40 60
8 North Melbourne Kangaroos 22 12 0 10 105.20 48
9 St Kilda Saints 22 12 0 10 95.70 48
10 Port Adelaide Power 22 10 0 12 106.00 40
11 Melbourne Demons 22 10 0 12 97.60 40
12 Collingwood Magpies 22 9 0 13 95.60 36
13 Richmond Tigers 22 8 0 14 79.50 32
14 Carlton Blues 22 7 0 15 79.30 28
15 Gold Coast Suns 22 6 0 16 78.20 24
16 Fremantle Dockers 22 4 0 18 74.30 16
17 Brisbane Lions 22 3 0 19 61.60 12
18 Essendon Bombers 22 3 0 19 61.00 12

Here is the Finals bracket:

and here is the finals schedule (all times Pacific) :

Thursday September 8, 3:10 AM at Domain Stadium
Second elimination final – West Coast v Western Bulldogs

Friday September 9, 2:50 AM at the MCG
Second qualifying final – Geelong v Hawthorn (LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus)

Friday September 9, 10.20pm at ANZ Stadium
First qualifying final – Sydney Swans v Greater Western Sydney (LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus and Fox Sports 2!)

Saturday September 10, 2.40 AM at Adelaide Oval
First elimination final – Adelaide v North Melbourne (LIVE on Fox Sports 2!)

As you can see, the top four (Sydney, Geelong, Hawthorn, and GWS) get a double chance.  Losers of the Qualifying finals play the winners of the Elimination finals in the Semi Finals.  The Winners of the Qualifying finals get a bye into the Preliminary Final to face the winners of the Semi Finals.  It all culminates in the Grand Final at the MCG.

It kinda blows that the home teams in the Qualifying finals don’t really get to play the game on their home turf.  I’ll explain that one next week, but this is one where, unfortunately, the AFL is following the NFL model of trying to get the most money they can.

As for our Footy Tipping Contest, BFC has been able to crawl his way out of the bottom of the ladder to overtake Blax who, AGAIN, forgot to put the tip in!  In other news, Litre_cola caught me at the top of the ladder and we are now only separated by margin points!  On the bright side, I’m ahead on margin.  On the not-so-bright-side, the contest continues and there are four fresh games to pick from.  The contest continues until the Grand Final.  There is still plenty to play for.  Here are the standings:

PLACE TIPPER ROUND Tips ROUND Margin TOTAL Tips TOTAL Margin
1 BALLS 5 29 98 317
2 Litre_cola 6 17 98 408
3 WhyEaglesWhy 4 13 93 371
4 SonofSpam 6 21 90 449
5 Zymm 5 49 86 648
6 BFC (!) 6 20 83 525
7 seb blax 3 1 81 384

As alluded to earlier, the AFL has instituted a bye week this year after the end of the Home and Away season in an effort to discourage teams from tanking the last game by resting players.  It actually makes a lot of sense.  We will see how well it works out in two weeks.  In the meantime, I will do a full preview of the finals games next week, do a full review of the season for the non-eight teams, and see what what other fun hi-jinks we can get into.

So, one last time, let us say goodbye to the end of the season with a look towards the future:

See you next week!

 

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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WhyEaglesWhy

I’ve been out of it for a couple weeks, just getting to this now. I actually picked against the Crows because I didn’t realize our contest ran through the Grand Final, and I was trying to be contrary as it was my only hope of winning. I got 4 and fell back in the standings, so good job by me.

Spanky Datass

Ok, 12:20 am (DFO time) Saturday, Sep. 10th … got it … … maaaybe I should put that in the phone reminder thingy. WOOOO SWANIES!!!!1!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nicely done as always balls.
If I was in a better mood I’d toss out my “fuck off Hawthorn” but I just don’t have the hate in me tonight.

Meh, who we kidding? Fuck off Hawthorn!!!!!!!

laserguru

Go Fremantle!

We’re not last! We’re not last!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Pies got their own post, AND they were not last.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image?w=650

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Australian footy? You mean, like, pictures of chicks in Uggs?

-Rex

litre_cola

Saints not in the top 8? Me losing by point difference? Yeah, this sounds about right.