Your “College Football Is NOT An Amuse Bouche” Friday Open Thread

Not much on the NFL front today. The big news comes with final cuts Saturday; by 4:00 PM EDT we will know who is supposed to start the season on the roster. Waiver wire Monday should be fun as well.

NFL News:

  • Ironic platform note at PFT: JEREMY LANE ON SITTING FOR NATIONAL ANTHEM: “I’M JUST STANDING BEHIND KAEPERNICK.”
  • Jets 3rd string QB Bryce Petty got lit up by Eagles DE Bryce Braman & will have an MRI to determine if there is any serious damage. It’ll also determine whether he becomes trade bait on Monday or doesn’t survive the waiver wire.
  • Dreamboat played the entire first half against the Giants, giving the impression the Dark Lord will be happy going 2-2 until the suspension is concluded.
  • The Bills cut 21 players, but kept Glenn Gronkowski. Maybe now Rex can beat Belichick.
  • The Ravens kicked the tires on Devin Hester.

Y’know, while I might not be on Kaep’s side, I am really respecting his Fro game. Look at this thing:

It’s magnificent. It gives me an Eriq La Salle “Coming To America” vibe.

 

Of course, this is a sports site, so a quick search and personal preference found me these comparisons to what Kaep is currently rocking:

 

Randy Moss:

 

John Riggins:

 

Doctor J:

 

Marouane Fellaini:

 

And, the master, Oscar Gamble:

 

It may be the only real highlight of the 49ers season, but we’ll always have that look. It’ll live on forever.


Tonight’s sports:

  • College Football:
    • Colorado State vs. Colorado – 5:00PM | ESPN
    • Kansas State at Stanford – 6:00PM | FS1
    • Toledo at Arkansas State – 6:00PM | ESPNU
  • CONCACAF Qualifying: El Salvador vs. México – 7:00PM | TELMUN

Buckle in, kids. It’s a three-day weekend full of college football, followed by a return to school/work, and then the NFL Opener Thursday night. WE’VE ALMOST MADE IT PEOPLE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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blaxabbath

LSU is such trash.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ok, weirdest thing ever just happened. We lost all or trees recently to Tree Herps or something. I just ended up outside peeing in the direction of my 90 year old neighbors house when he was up for no reason at this hour. He gave me a nod. I already shovel his snow but I like him more now

Unsurprised

Eat something since you’re up.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I already ate a giant 6 scoops bowl of ice cream, then gave my dog one too because he loves dairy too like a proper WI dog (he got 2 scoops). I would give him whiskey but he doesn’t want to try it

Unsurprised

Pack a sandwich for later.

And a sweater.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It’s like you never met me. I would go hoodie with no pants unless required of me by law, even then like 50/50

blaxabbath

Wait – your neighbor can see you because the tree herpes killed the tree that used to serve as your urination-viewing barrier?

Or was that just some fun Tarintino-esque side note?

ALXMAC
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I really am probably off for the night though. I don’t want to lose my TV though.

Olivia Wilde gif I could never confirm if it was actually her or where it was from that was left open from before on the way out.

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ALXMAC

She hella looks like Mila here.

Unsurprised

GIS says it is she in the 2012 movie Deadfall.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I swear I went to bed (never trust that) and the first thing it aims at is 2012 haircuts unless you try harder, unless google fixed that since I searched it a couple hours ago

Unsurprised

Don’t ask me how the economy works.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My asshole computer keeps telling me every hour to restart my computer and let updates run like it wants me to go to bed. I am not gonna let it win. “Try Later” dick OS. Who designed it not to have the option to just say I will do it when I want to?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjCHD41I7ok

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Brick Meathook

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WCS

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Brick Meathook

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WCS

Brick Meathook

THAT RABBIT’S DYNAMITE

Brick Meathook

LOOK AT THE BONES!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
WCS

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WCS

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Nice, but insufficient!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Oh god. What is WCS planning now?

Unsurprised
Brick Meathook

My God, that “Taxi Driver” scene is powerful. Scorsese is pouring on the coal.

Unsurprised

I had no idea what Wild Things was about when I went to see it, but I came out of that theater a changed man.

https://www.gfycat.com/EnlightenedExhaustedBrontosaurus

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Unsurprised
ALXMAC

She was my #1 for so long; SO LONG.

Unsurprised

And she’s also why Charlie Sheen can go fuck himself.

ALXMAC

Well I wouldn’t go so far as to say that he ruined her; she was going to be anyways ruined with those fab natural tittays. It didn’t help her that she married him and (by extension) proved that she’s dumb as a rock.

Unsurprised

At some point I was compiling a list of the beers I had on Wednesday on the theory that I might mention them to you all later. That was not to be.

Hopworks Blonde Ale
Full Sail Blood Orange Wheat
Pfriem Pilsner
Champagne
Rogue Belgian Trippel
Rogue jalapeño Helles Lager
Asahi
Warm Sake (house, I think?)
G Joy Cold Sake
Some kind of imperial stout

I can’t remember what else.

ALXMAC

Well that’s fitting…

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

NSFW gfycat of Alexandra Daddario from True Detective, slightly edited (brightened).

https://gfycat.com/DecimalHiddenCanary

Unsurprised

The non-broken version of the gif Moose posted below (also NSFW for tits)

https://gfycat.com/CookedDefenselessAmazontreeboa

Unsurprised

A local cider brewer had two bottles available at Costco to purchase. I chose one of theirs and another cider of all of the single bottles or getting a giant pack of bottles of whatever (since I missed the boat on all those Fat Tire & Friends ale variety packs). They had two flavors: pear and wild rose-infused apple. I decided “Why not?” and got the rose.

It tastes like ass.

Brick Meathook

I got two words for you: PABST BLUE RIBBON

Unsurprised

I like PBR. It beats the shit out of the ass-ton of IPAs that every halfwit in this region brews.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NOW THAT IS SPECIALIZED.

Unsurprised

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Brick Meathook

This photo of Leonard Nimoy in front of his ’63 Buick Riviera on the Desilu lot was posted earlier when I was away:

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Here’s a HotWheels recreation I bought through ComicCon this year. I am neither a ComicCon regular, a Trekkie (although I like the show I guess), nor do I collect HotWheels. But I just HAD TO HAVE THIS:

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Shot with my iPhone so I couldn’t get precise focus. Which is odd since I own a shitload of professional camera gear (I don’t haul all that crap out unless I’m getting’ paid).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WHO IS THE DAMN WEIRDO WHO POSTED IT EARLIER? FUCKING WEIRDO!

Brick Meathook

KEEP DFO WEIRD

ALXMAC

“The important thing is not the camera but the eye.” – Alfred Eisenstaedt

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1635811/news-reporter-vs-giant-ball-o.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This was the look in high school that killed me. And it is Sally Field. Damn it.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/c5883f536a1665a75d7bca3196f6adc3/tumblr_nrh9fnSDvG1rab8xmo1_1280.jpg

Brick Meathook

She’s available! Lives in Pasadena!

Unsurprised

Stupid PNW weather. It’s already nipply out.

https://www.gfycat.com/BigheartedMadeupAdamsstaghornedbeetle

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So I’m up against another guy for Commish in my long standing league tomorrow. I’m thinking of opening my speech with this:

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why do you want to be commish?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Mostly because I feel it’s been run somewhat poorly, and I want to make it more of a democratically run league, with less things left subjectively up to the commish at the last second.

Unsurprised

But if it’s good enough for the NFL …

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Exactly what I’m hoping to avoid…

ALXMAC

So do ya’ll vote for commish? Is this a money LG?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Unsurprised

Wear your ball gown for the full effect.

http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/48842/9336d7488418612.jpg