Your “College Football Is NOT An Amuse Bouche” Friday Open Thread

Not much on the NFL front today. The big news comes with final cuts Saturday; by 4:00 PM EDT we will know who is supposed to start the season on the roster. Waiver wire Monday should be fun as well.

NFL News:

  • Ironic platform note at PFT: JEREMY LANE ON SITTING FOR NATIONAL ANTHEM: “I’M JUST STANDING BEHIND KAEPERNICK.”
  • Jets 3rd string QB Bryce Petty got lit up by Eagles DE Bryce Braman & will have an MRI to determine if there is any serious damage. It’ll also determine whether he becomes trade bait on Monday or doesn’t survive the waiver wire.
  • Dreamboat played the entire first half against the Giants, giving the impression the Dark Lord will be happy going 2-2 until the suspension is concluded.
  • The Bills cut 21 players, but kept Glenn Gronkowski. Maybe now Rex can beat Belichick.
  • The Ravens kicked the tires on Devin Hester.

Y’know, while I might not be on Kaep’s side, I am really respecting his Fro game. Look at this thing:

It’s magnificent. It gives me an Eriq La Salle “Coming To America” vibe.

 

Of course, this is a sports site, so a quick search and personal preference found me these comparisons to what Kaep is currently rocking:

 

Randy Moss:

 

John Riggins:

 

Doctor J:

 

Marouane Fellaini:

 

And, the master, Oscar Gamble:

 

It may be the only real highlight of the 49ers season, but we’ll always have that look. It’ll live on forever.


Tonight’s sports:

  • College Football:
    • Colorado State vs. Colorado – 5:00PM | ESPN
    • Kansas State at Stanford – 6:00PM | FS1
    • Toledo at Arkansas State – 6:00PM | ESPNU
  • CONCACAF Qualifying: El Salvador vs. México – 7:00PM | TELMUN

Buckle in, kids. It’s a three-day weekend full of college football, followed by a return to school/work, and then the NFL Opener Thursday night. WE’VE ALMOST MADE IT PEOPLE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Shogun Marcus

High on Fire-Rumors of War
http://youtu.be/89h-X-tZa_w

Shogun Marcus

Anthrax-Got the Time
http://youtu.be/be7iNHw8QoQ

theeWeeBabySeamus

It does my black heart good seeing at least one team wearing red and with a block S on their helmets be good.

If I blur my eyes enough….

Kungjitsu

I’m watching Ballers, and it’s fucking crap, except The Rock is charming. Has he ever been in anything good? I can’t tell because I hate everything he’s in, but I like him.

King Hippo

I can hate him for that. Read a script, dicknose.

You should go to confession for watching BAllers, though. Jeebus.

Kungjitsu

That’s what I’m talmbout. Everything in this show is stupid. It’s Entourage w/ The Rock, but I gotta watch it.

*Except Anabelle Acosta. Darlin’ if you’re on DFO, you’re the star of Quantico. I love you.

The Maestro

His character is pretty flat and dull in the Fast and Furious series, but I’ll be goddamned if his action scenes weren’t entertaining. Sometimes you just need a summer Hollywood action blockbuster kinda flick to cheer you up.

Doktor Zymm

Not to say that second wave didn’t highly impact punk. Second wave came first, and may have given that fucker the idea. This is second wave.

Doktor Zymm

About the same time, you may recall this classic. Strong influence, though an essentially seperate culture.

herodotus450
Shogun Marcus

Refused-New Noise
http://youtu.be/NkAe30aEG5c

Doktor Zymm

Still Second Wave. Still bet you know this damn song.

King Hippo

Ironically, it is still played in steady rotation on satellite radio’s “First Wave”

/I would have been able to identify this as ska, I thought “Mirror in the Bathroom” was just English alt rock with some horns thrown in.

Doktor Zymm

It’s the beat. It’s not jazz, it’s Caribbean.

Doktor Zymm

You probably know this. This is second wave.

Doktor Zymm

First Wave. Ska.
Ska started where you would think, when it came to the UK it became second wave, and second wave was actually the start of skinheads, it was checkerboard culture, with short hair and boots and braces, cause that’s what you wore when you worked in a factory. It didn’t become racist until the 80s and it started in 69. With second wave. Skatalites, Desomond Dekker, that’s first wave. That’s reggae with EDGE.

Kungjitsu

First Wave Ska? Ummmm… excuse me!!! Where’s Gwen Stefani?!?

The Maestro

Maytals were fucking great. Marley loved ’em, for obvious reasons.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and now I’m watching the opening scene of the Beavis and Butthead movie. I swear this will make me laugh until I am eighty.

Shogun Marcus

Rammstein-Feuer Frei
http://youtu.be/ZkW-K5RQdzo

Shogun Marcus

Moar could-be defenestration songs!
/knows that means window
//shut up
Mastodon-Blood and Thunder
http://youtu.be/labytsb3gfI

Doktor Zymm

Doktor Zymm

Oi, y’all hot?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is typically the soundtrack for my bench press personal record attempts.

King Hippo

I do NOT want to know what my bench press capacity is. My “reasons FOAR suicide” list is fucking long enough.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

At the beginning of this year I set a goal of 200 lbs (I weighed 150). I made it up to 205 before I wrecked my shoulder.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s not a party until someone blows out a rotator cuff…no one denies this.

Kungjitsu

I’m watching Weatherscan because it has some fusion jazz bullshit guitar as the background music. Dude’s* fuckin around in Lydian, which I don’t even like, but I have to find out where it goes. #NoMoarRum

*I know it’s a man because women don’t get caught up, musically, in self-indulgence this way.

Kungjitsu

It’s over, so I’m back to watching Modern Family reruns until The Matrix starts on IFC. This one has Gloria hopped up on Xanax, which yanno… Bill Cosby was wrong.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As Yeah Right suggested, it’s time to submit the applicants for the SONGS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO RUN THROUGH A GODDAMN BRICK WALL practice squad.

King Hippo

I submitted Jesus Christ Pose and I humbly submit that I am right and you are all wrong.

Doktor Zymm

Through…or into? This is an important distinction.

King Hippo

THIS Doktor Zymm is a true ska warrior!!

Doktor Zymm

1st wave.

Kungjitsu
Doktor Zymm

My drink is the wrong color for any of the ingredients I put in there (rambutan, lemon juice, gin, soda water, and it’s red.) I’m drinking it anyway. Also, if Kaep is gonna bring back Black Panther style protests, could he also bring back short shorts for athletic males? No reason not to go full 70’s style aesthetic. I wasn’t born yet the first time, I would like to indulge my sybaritic nature this time around.

King Hippo

sorry your booze was not fashion forward ,, smgdh

/nice retro shout FOAR when Caitlin still had balls AND you could see them when he ran track!

Doktor Zymm

Not a fashion thing, just wondering where the color came from….none of those things are red. It’s the drink equivalent of waking up with a black eye and just assuming you had an okay night.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sounds like a day in the life of Jerramy Stevens.

King Hippo

he fell OKAY!!!!

King Hippo

this is indeed a question FOAR SCIENCE

Doktor Zymm

Science has better things to do, and I can make up a suitable answer.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Like figuring out not to let Pit Bulls and Dachshunds breed.

King Hippo

oh christ, I can’t unsee that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT HAS GOT TO BE ONE FRUSTRATED DOG….. OR PHOTOSHPED, EITHER WAY….

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just hope the Dachshund wasn’t the female. She ded if she was pushing out that head.

Then again, if the Dachshund was the male, it does raise some interesting questions.

Doktor Zymm

Should have bought a Riva

Doktor Zymm

That’s clearly a pickup truck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pickup truck?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

IT’S ALRIGHT! SHE HAS INSURANCE FOR BOTH THANKS TO PROGRESSIVE BUNDLE.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I’m reading the reader submissions for the Cardinals edition of WYTS and I don’t think a single one is less than three paragraphs long. Edit yourselves!

The Maestro

Did you honestly expect Will Leitch, note Cards (x2) fan, to be concise? C’mon now.

King Hippo

#BFIB&F

King Hippo

you could not pay me enough to watch this Snowden circle-jerk

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: “Snowed In Circle Jerk” was what happened when Fred Smoot tried to coordinate an offseason retreat for the Vikings in February and a blizzard shut down all the roads.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Don’t forget about this prominent afro’d figure in the coffee rights movement.

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King Hippo

ASS-TO-ASS!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

IF KEAP WAS AS GOOD OF A DANCER, HE WOULD NOT GET SACKED AS MUCH.

King Hippo

was JoJo Dancer also a commie pinko libtard????

King Hippo

Thanks for giving us FUCKALL to watch tonight, Colorado State. Fucking dicks.

/K State @ Stanford on FS1 @ 9

// goddamnit I want it NOW!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

NAWT enough mayo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

we could ask American Pie Story, but she got TOO COOL FOAR US

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hoboken Squat Cobbler?

Unsurprised

Now you know what it was like to grow up in the WAC/Mountain West

King Hippo

Oskar Blues Old Chub Scotch Ale

verdict…good! very unique flavour.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://66.media.tumblr.com/7df197be3c3d8f3ba312d7bcd7202b15/tumblr_neugmhDk2d1szvlx8o5_r1_1280.jpg

Hayley Atwell…….

CHOOSES TO WATCH FOOTBALL WITHOUT A SHIRT.

King Hippo

I know the Bengals are meh, but compared to the goddamned Reds…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Technically spectacular.

King Hippo

Hmmmm, I am listening miss…

theeWeeBabySeamus

That is a fantastic…outfit.

King Hippo

How good are Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals? The guy who just hit his 20th HR is a guy we sent to AAA. TWICE.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SEE GIF BELOW…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Back in the day the fro’s were much more nifty, fro’ sho’
/slapped silly
Evening peepuhl.
http://coolkidscampaign.org/wp-2015/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/eddie-murray1.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

“YOU’LL DO NOTHING OF THE SORT AND LIKE IT!”

-The Hayes Code

scotchnaut

That’s the very least you get for decorating the tree so badly.

King Hippo

That happened to me in Costa Rica a few years ago ,, smgdh

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hitler was in Costa Rica?
And has that really been a few yrs ago? I would have bet last year.
Sheeesh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

Don’t get me started in on Dr. J. There were high-fliers before him (Elgin Baylor, Connie Hawkins) but they didn’t have the panache of Erving. The thing that separated him from his antecedents was the fact that he had a growth spurt late in high school. He was recruited as a guard but grew from 6’2 and a half to 6’7″ over the course of one summer. He had the ball-handling skills of a 2 and the length of a 3 or 4. He could work the open floor like no leaper before him. Unlike the aforementioned 50’s/early 60’s legends, he didn’t need to be “set up”. He could grab the defensive rebound and head up the court on his own (something that Magic, Bird, Jordan, James, Durant and all the etc’s did yesterday/do today without thinking) and make things happen. There was no “open floor” that pre-existed in the ABA that he exploited. He created it by not shoveling off to the guards.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siprDaTjHPo

/I’ll shut up now

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shameless NCSU plug to follow.
(Fricking cocaine, man)
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King Hippo

hey, his headache was gone, but he wanted to ride on…

scotchnaut

Thompson was listed as 6’4″ but was probably a bit shorter. As a kid he wore ankle weights everywhere he went, including the basketball court. He credited that ritual with giving him an incredible “44 (or so) vertical. Because he could jump over everyone near the basket he never felt the need to develop a consistent outside jumper.

He participated in two of the greatest college games of all time. Back in ’74 his NC State squad outlasted Lefty Dreisell’s Maryland team 103-100 in the ACC Final. The Wolfpack met up with a UCLA squad that had won 7 straight titles and with the help of Monte Towe, Phil Last Name I Can’t Remember and Tom Burleson and Some Other Guy, they beat that Walton-led team. (Bill was more than happy to throw John Wooden and his use of time-outs under the bus)

/After Dr. J, he’s the other baller that was most responsible for merging the leagues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvTYFSBGLgQ

King Hippo

Molly McGrath sidelining CO and CSU on ESPN, speaking of teh sexy!

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are cases when one has no choice but to stand for the flag.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/9d973111e42861b92ae5da5449817e56/tumblr_ocsb8izm531upy87fo1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
bourb0nblues

Would love to know what she is thinking… bet it ain’t waiver wire.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Starter got injured right after she drafted?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

I would murder anyone Naomi Watts asked me to.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WATT?

King Hippo

I’m just gonna pretend she asked.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NO RELATION TO J.J.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Look, look, I realize you couldn’t use the bathroom for two days last time, but I only have to piss this time. I PROMISE!!”

http://66.media.tumblr.com/4c12e2c05c27f091e95715d94f752623/tumblr_nclhdcTp1L1r2vo64o1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was going to make some kind of “amused douche” joke and post a picture of Matt Leinart laughing, but when I did the image search this came up and I think it can be presented without comment:

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