[is floating on a metaphorical cloud because the Giants didn’t blow a close one]
Hey! What? How are you doing? [shakes cobwebs from head] TO THE GAME!
Phi/Chi-What is there to like about these two teams? The Eagles are in a weird spot because of Kelly’s shenanigans and the Bears are a teenage girl’s embodiment of the phrase “What. Ever!” Okay. I’ll give it a try. Eagles wr Matthews benefited the most from qb Wentz’ not-lousy debut. He went for 7/114/1. He could do more damage against Bears cb’s that have recently been rated as “meh”. Last week qb Cutler was all kinds of meh as well, sporting a 16-29/216/1TD/1INT line. Perhaps if we all get/continue to be high this game turns out to be watchable.* Despite being at home I’m thinking that the Bears end up at 0-2. Not that I’m cheering for the Eagles. No way.
NOW LET’S HAVE SOME FUN OUT THERE!!!
*does anyone have some spare glue I could borrow?
If it ever comes out that Sam Bradford has killed more people than Hernandez, I won’t be surprised.
So, has a Minnesota always played Metallica, cuz if not they just blatantly stole that from the Chicago Bears.
I don’t care if you don’t like the band, “For whom the bell tolls” is a kickass song, and we had it first
Metallica opened the stadium with a concert two weeks ago or so. They bought the privilege. Gotta love the Wilf clan.
That russian salad is worrysome.
When will AP be old?
Sam Bradford’s default expression appears to be “deer in the headlights”
Sam
Bradford.
Because we are serious about winning now.
Should I put my hand on my boob for the anthem? Or play it safe and go collarbone, cause God and America hates women and sex and boobs?
Hand on boob will ensure the camera finds you every time.
Depends on if you’re carrying your NFL licensed tampons in the translucent NFL team bag that keeps America’s stadiums safe.
Oh, I keep my ALL CLEAR NFL LICENSED CONDOMS in my ALL CLEAR NFL LICENSED HANDBAG
Whenever I try to put my hand on a boob during the anthem, I get arrested.
Power up the Sandcrawler! We have salvage to sell!
Holy fucking horn!
Was that woman saluting the national anthem?
Looked like she was trying to but didn’t know how.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jQs600SXv34/T4SEyF_MWrI/AAAAAAAAA_o/CxDqntTdbOg/s1600/menu_izakaya.jpg
HEY THAT CAMERAMAN IS TAKING A KNEE FINE HIM!!!!
Lots of people standing, but hand are more on lungs or liver than heart. THEY HATE AMERICA.
I think being named after a Subway sandwich is probably legit grounds for murdering your parents.
http://whereyoueat.com/images/restaurants/6095/menu/0001.jpg
They have Liter Soda?
That is fucking blasphemy
Is Minneapolis a nice city?
It’s no Witchita, if that helps.
I am originally from Manitoba and would go down every year since my youth. It is very whitebread america
http://www.berger-schinken.at/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/BFBInt2016NEU-1-1024×709.jpg
The kids scored on the Finns. This is the 1 team our countries can agree on.
“Hey Odell you’re milking that one-handed catch thing too much”
– ’72 Dolphins
Faithless Shill
HOw about for a football game introduction, we watch the football game?
New Sunday Night song lasts way too long and isn’t as catchy as last year’s.
I’d rather she just yell “Verizon paid for this!” over and over.
What the shit is this intro?
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs4/1244328_o.gif
http://prod.images.vikings.clubs.nflcdn.com/image-web/NFL/CDA/data/deployed/prod/VIKINGS/assets/images/imported/MIN/photos/clubimages/2016/09-September/tempprac-090416-1-010–nfl_mezz_1280_1024.jpg
Green Bay @ Minnesoty : Will Aaron be affected by his brother losing on the Bachelor(ette?)? Will Minnesota’s defense still put up good fantasy points while GB finds its legs? These are the only two non-shitty teams in the NFC North, which is likely to take the division? Will the horrible mutilation of Teddy Bridgewaters knee spell the end of Minnesota’s season? Lots of knees seems to be exploding nowadays, will this happen to Jordy? Probably not. Will either of these teams win an Owl which is Superb? Outlook : Doubtful.
Nice.
Whelp… Dumb Seahawks I’m out of the Suicide league because of them.
Louie Anderson
A) Is apparently in Baskets
B) Won an Emmy
C) Is so fat he needed assistance getting to the stage and reading his thank yous is literally leaving him winded
D) Looks ready to climb/collapse into his grave
Looks like Cam was off to his side job selling cough syrup door to door after the game.
Our one-two punch of relevant Simpsons references was truly excellent.
Perfectly cromulent.
Yes, yes, he’s in the B Sharpes now. He looks better in that hat than 90% of the guys who have tried to stick a finger up my ass in my lifetime. Good for him, reviving the 1910s.
“He looks better in that hat than 90% of the guys who have tried to stick a finger up my ass in my lifetime.”
I wonder how many times Rodgers will bitch to the refs this game?
All the times.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/250×250/67276654.jpg
Skol, Vikings!
http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/metrodome-roof-collapses.jpg
It’s pretty awful when fast food advertising tries to be inspirational.
In Canadia we have a couple enjoyin 10 dollar buckets of KFC romantically playing on the couch while watching tv
Reminder: Game 3 of the Stanley Cup finals is on at 8:45 EST.
I may have screwed up but I’m not changing a thing.
Shit scotchy, I was thinking, fuck is tonight the eagles game??? I doubted me more than you.
So what I hear you saying is:
You’re right, but go fuck yourselves.
A true DFOer!
Fuuuuuck, the lady just remembered the oscars are tonight.
The what?
Emmys. Whatever.
Still not following, but you have fun watching the statue thing.
I call both “the thing that screws me out of watching SNF”
Broseph, stream that shit
http://66.media.tumblr.com/d778410bdf4fce4c2c98c39cd614a2ba/tumblr_mljqitnK3D1s6hi0oo1_500.gif
I hope this game isn’t a blowout.
I hope this blowout isn’t a blowout.
Signed,
Teddy Bridgewater’s Knee
Ah yes, those world-renowned Minnesota oysters.
Also known as Sven’s hacking cough in those parts.
Eh, it’s much easier to forgive someone for previewing the wrong game when I haven’t had to wear a bra all day. Dudes are seriously missing out by eschewing desert robes. A dress is one piece of clothing and I’m decent and can go to the bank or the grocery store or the ice cream parlor. Y’all have to put on at least two pieces of clothing to go anywhere respectable!
Sez you Dok!
https://media.tenor.co/images/6951aff2be9a9f7831fe250dd98b62b3/raw
/actually has no probs wearing a dress, they’re comfy!
//is not homeresque, more jebus.
Take 2:
This never would have happened if the other guy was doing our open thread leadins.
We’ll never forget you, cidervendorroy
Oh hey, Blizzard is getting DDoS’d for the 50th time this year. Guess I’m sticking this game out, then.
By the way, now that I’ve introduced Future Clones Debbie Harry and Lynda Carter, HRTN is pretty much just going to be slash fic from now on. You guys are good with that, right?
/stops masturbating
What did he say?
//resumes masturbating
So I’ve never really cared about Minnesota either way, but thanks to their shitty front office, I’m now actively rooting for them to be the worst team in the league. The next logical step is getting Sam Bradford on the field so he can start throwing the ball to all the non-purple jerseys.
Btw, I’m in a cover 5 league where I picked the Eagles since the Bears are allegedly 3 point favorites. And also terrible. Plus, either my time wins and I can have a celebratory drink or my bet is a good one and I can have a celebratory drink. Yay!
I was going to do a cover 5, then completely forgot. I enjoyed it, much less thinky than fantasy.
Yeah but still infuriating when the raiders fuck you hard
So if the battle of the upper Midwesterners goes tits up tonight, I think I’ll watch London Has Fallen on Netflix because it looks nice and stupid.
ANd here I thought I managed to time travel through work tomorrow. Thanks for the false hopes.
Was so confused.
That was good. I’ll be tuning in to Cardinals Talk Postgame Show now.
WE WILL WIN IT ALL!!!! IT IS A DRY HEAT
Umm…scotchy? Izzat intentional? Phi/Chi?
I don’t know how to break it to you, but Bears-Eagles is tomorrow night. Your glue must be working overtime
I’m fine getting it out of the way now so I can enjoy tomorrow night.
Sunday Night Baseball!! Who’s Ready!?!