Pinch Hitting Late Games Post

Apologies for the brevity and the lack of scotchy-level humour and insight…

Rams at Bucs (4:05, Fox)

Rapey Jameis and palz host the team that cannot offense. RedZone will surely show at least 5 plays from this thriller.

49ers at Seahawks (4:05, Fox)

So far, the SeaTruthers have looked awful shitty. That hypothesis will be put to the test in this one. First team to 10 wins. You can see why Fox is happy not to have double header coverage this fuckin’ week. Jeebus.

Jets at Chiefs (4:25, CBS)

One always wonders how the Jets will manage to Jets this one up, especially given the Chefs penchant for pulling undeserved wins out of their collective butthole. As far as I can tell, every Gang Green WR is injured, presumably with consumption.

Chargers at Colts (4:25, CBS)

BOLTMAN! is no doubt well-pleased with the early season competence, and viewers will no doubt be entertained by this defense-free matchup. Barn-raiser extraordinaire Andy Luck has to be feeling older than King Laserface of late, playing behind his tissue paper OL.

Steelers at Eagles (4:25, CBS)

Here’s the broadcast game pretty much everybody gon’ get. Which will mostly be DeAngelo and Antonio Brown carving the Iggle D a new asshole or seven, while Jeeeem and Pheeeel splooge all over each other about Carson Wentz’ poise. You’ll be very thankful for RedZone Channel, like you should always be.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Boykin throwing TD’s vs. the Niners?

OK. I’m good with that.

Gratliff

Awwwwwwwww. Almost had the dagger.

Spur

Getting Cabin fever. Should I go watch the Cowboys 1st half at the bar? I’ve been in all weekend.

Dunstan

Well, if you’re going to watch the Cowboys, a bar is a necessity. Or just an IV drip of whisky.

Wakezilla

Go for it!

American Pie Story

Best excuse for drinking

Romonobyl

That’s it Ben, nothing but urinals for you from now on!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Someone may want to break Sill’s tv for his own good.

Gratliff

It’s not too late for 50!

American Pie Story

TY HILTON!!!

American Pie Story

Oops

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Honey, I love their hotels too!

American Pie Story

TY HILTON!!!

Spur

What’s it gonna take for Kap to play?

Wakezilla

I dunno. But I do know that Kaep not playing is going to be one of the top stories of the week with football and main stream news.

Sill Bimmons

Chiefs Kingdom?

comment image

Romonobyl

Hey, are we gonna have an open thread for the debate tomorrow?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Magary v. Christmas Ape: Who has the more awkward story of losing their virginity?

Redshirt

Redshirt and the Story of My Mother Finding My Internet History at Age 14

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Next week I am going to pick a gassy rag as my defense. Like the Cardinals today it gets me little to no points but I still have the rag to huff anyway.

Doktor Zymm

Thought! Pizza place will probably have football on!

litre_cola

And Booze!

herodotus450

That’s good!
It will probably be the LA-TB game.

Doktor Zymm

I assume that’s a subconscious cue to RAM IT

Romonobyl

But can you play with us whilst entertaining your company?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Jim Nantz with the ice cold commentary on Ryan Mathews

Covalent Blonde

Dear god it hurts to want Ponder in.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Phrasing?

laserguru

As it should, Blondie.

As it should.

Gratliff

Eagles are going to be considered a contender after this. Cratering imminent.

Romonobyl

A pox on your house sir!

litre_cola

Remember when we both thought 6 wins for the season? I still hold hope for a 6-10 season with Wentz not getting killed.

Doktor Zymm

It’s okay, Ryan Leaf won his first few rookie games too

Redshirt

Is Hollywood out of ideas that they are redoing things from the 80s and non-fiction stories?

Wakezilla

Millenials like their nostalgia, man

Romonobyl

All the fuckity-fucks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Smallwood? I thought we stopped talking about Favre.

Gratliff

Mathews and SProles owners throwing shit all over

litre_cola

Never take one of your own team. It only leads to fury and binge drinking.

Gratliff

DO A SNEAK

Gratliff

Did Ryan Matthews die?

Spur

Is Russ seriously trying to come back in? Fucking brown-noser.

Covalent Blonde

I mean for fuck’s sake, let your No. 2 in. It’s not like you have anything to fear against the Niners, right?

Wakezilla

Ciara only bangs QB1s

Sill Bimmons
Redshirt

Just breathe, Sill. I’ve stared into the same abyss you looking into now. Its going to be okay.

Romonobyl

Ben having problems with his sippy cup.

Doktor Zymm

On the plus side, I did just make a killer ‘I like my pizza like I like my men’ joke. Probably worth it. And I didn’t cook at all this weekend, so I can do leftover pizza for lunch

New School Zero

greasy?

Romonobyl

I’m afraid to even ask…

Spanky Datass

Thick and … … doughy?

litre_cola

Thick?

Sill Bimmons

Deep and stuffed with sausage and mushrooms?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cheesy, thick, and going straight for your thighs?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

30 minutes late and served by a pimply teen?

New School Zero

With a yeasty crust?

Doktor Zymm

Rather than individually liking all of these, just, well done everybody!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But what’s the answer!?

Redshirt

Seattle does know they’re up against 27-3 against a Blaine Gabbert led offense right?

Are they thinking they need to run up the score to impress the voters or something?

Shogun Marcus

Just returned. Gritsburgh suddenly bad, Philly suddenly good, or yes?

Wakezilla

So much so, Jeff Fisher keeps getting asked if he’d rather go with Wentz if he could do it all over again. Because you can tell everything you need to know about a QB after 2 weeks

Gratliff

Ben is just throwing into every green jersey he can find

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Sounds like 10 year old Buddy learning to masturbate!

/sorry about the Chrebet jersey dad

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is just a hard count, right?

Spur

Put Kaepernick in

Romonobyl

It pains me to say it, but I really wanted Rongrastname to pull this one off.

Sill Bimmons

THE BEN’s Rapeyness vs. Competence meter is at Full Grey.

JustStopDude

Browns fans are sad…

https://youtu.be/t3Qo193j4ig

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pinned comment

litre_cola

Holy shit.

Mrs. Cola asked if he did it.

JustStopDude

He does have a half time video, and his spirits seemed to be up.

But no post game video…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No updates on his channel since halftime…

Recovery Whiskey

Oh god my sides.

This guy for president

Wakezilla

Charmslinger is back in the huddle. He’s going to have a McNairesque season this year, isn’t he?

Recovery Whiskey

Out for the game now. The rookie number 2 gets to finish it off

Recovery Whiskey

Hawks making Chip feel welcome back on the West Coast.

Spur

Sweeet, just saw LSU is really getting out ahead of that coaching search…Cam Cameron should never be an answer.

Redshirt

…and I said “Oatmeal? Are you crazy?!”

Oh, can I comment now?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yes, but only about oatmeal.

John Difool

Southwest airlines would like you to know you can now drop some X or acid and treat your flight like it’s a giant rave without threat of being arrested.

You are now free to groove about the country.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

*not eligible on flights from Kabul and Tehran

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or if you’re a woman and want to wear anything their staff randomly seems “inappropriate”

Romonobyl

I for one do not wish for my airline pilot to know how to twerk.

litre_cola

Will glow sticks be provided?

Redshirt

RIP 2016 Seattle Seahawks Season

2016-2016

New School Zero

What happened?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

RW got rolled a bit. It looked bad, but he only sat out a play.

#nanobubbles

Redshirt

That last 49ers INT made me laugh out loud.

Redshirt

Comment error.

litre_cola

Charmslinger hurt?

Sill Bimmons

I thought it was going to take 30 points to win this.

Right now that does not seem possible.

litre_cola

TINY DARREN!!!!!

Gratliff

FUCKING TINY DARREN YOU GUYS

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

How did you get into Buddy’s dossier?

Redshirt

A Steelers was bleeding and I missed it. Aw, shucks!

Doktor Zymm

Okay, gonna finish my pound cake, chug my drink, watch one more play, vomit over this idiotic NRA ad, then go downtown because I’m a fantastic host, even if you are the sort of guest who makes me miss football to pay money to go near work to have mediocre pizza

Doktor Zymm

I will see y’all for the night game. FOOTBALLS.

Romonobyl

Enjoy your casserole.

Doktor Zymm

Casserole doesn’t have bottom crust.

And they asked if there was a way to get it with less cheese…..I’m not even gonna take home the leftovers.

Romonobyl

True, and pizza isn’t eaten with a fork.

American Pie Story

Hodor recovery!

Gratliff

Oh no. The pink shit is about to start.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It was probably that gas station sushi you ate.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Honey you sound like me after a nighy of shooters and ceviche!