Apologies for the brevity and the lack of scotchy-level humour and insight…
Rams at Bucs (4:05, Fox)
Rapey Jameis and palz host the team that cannot offense. RedZone will surely show at least 5 plays from this thriller.
49ers at Seahawks (4:05, Fox)
So far, the SeaTruthers have looked awful shitty. That hypothesis will be put to the test in this one. First team to 10 wins. You can see why Fox is happy not to have double header coverage this fuckin’ week. Jeebus.
Jets at Chiefs (4:25, CBS)
One always wonders how the Jets will manage to Jets this one up, especially given the Chefs penchant for pulling undeserved wins out of their collective butthole. As far as I can tell, every Gang Green WR is injured, presumably with consumption.
Chargers at Colts (4:25, CBS)
BOLTMAN! is no doubt well-pleased with the early season competence, and viewers will no doubt be entertained by this defense-free matchup. Barn-raiser extraordinaire Andy Luck has to be feeling older than King Laserface of late, playing behind his tissue paper OL.
Steelers at Eagles (4:25, CBS)
Here’s the broadcast game pretty much everybody gon’ get. Which will mostly be DeAngelo and Antonio Brown carving the Iggle D a new asshole or seven, while Jeeeem and Pheeeel splooge all over each other about Carson Wentz’ poise. You’ll be very thankful for RedZone Channel, like you should always be.
Boykin throwing TD’s vs. the Niners?
OK. I’m good with that.
Awwwwwwwww. Almost had the dagger.
Getting Cabin fever. Should I go watch the Cowboys 1st half at the bar? I’ve been in all weekend.
Well, if you’re going to watch the Cowboys, a bar is a necessity. Or just an IV drip of whisky.
Go for it!
Best excuse for drinking
That’s it Ben, nothing but urinals for you from now on!
Someone may want to break Sill’s tv for his own good.
It’s not too late for 50!
TY HILTON!!!
Oops
Honey, I love their hotels too!
TY HILTON!!!
http://cf.chucklesnetwork.com/items/8/4/9/2/4/original/if-i-eat-myself-would-i-become-twice-as-big-or-disappear-complet.jpg
What’s it gonna take for Kap to play?
I dunno. But I do know that Kaep not playing is going to be one of the top stories of the week with football and main stream news.
Chiefs Kingdom?
Hey, are we gonna have an open thread for the debate tomorrow?
Magary v. Christmas Ape: Who has the more awkward story of losing their virginity?
Redshirt and the Story of My Mother Finding My Internet History at Age 14
Next week I am going to pick a gassy rag as my defense. Like the Cardinals today it gets me little to no points but I still have the rag to huff anyway.
Thought! Pizza place will probably have football on!
And Booze!
That’s good!
It will probably be the LA-TB game.
I assume that’s a subconscious cue to RAM IT
But can you play with us whilst entertaining your company?
Jim Nantz with the ice cold commentary on Ryan Mathews
Dear god it hurts to want Ponder in.
Phrasing?
As it should, Blondie.
As it should.
Eagles are going to be considered a contender after this. Cratering imminent.
A pox on your house sir!
Remember when we both thought 6 wins for the season? I still hold hope for a 6-10 season with Wentz not getting killed.
It’s okay, Ryan Leaf won his first few rookie games too
Is Hollywood out of ideas that they are redoing things from the 80s and non-fiction stories?
Millenials like their nostalgia, man
All the fuckity-fucks.
Smallwood? I thought we stopped talking about Favre.
Mathews and SProles owners throwing shit all over
Never take one of your own team. It only leads to fury and binge drinking.
DO A SNEAK
Did Ryan Matthews die?
Is Russ seriously trying to come back in? Fucking brown-noser.
I mean for fuck’s sake, let your No. 2 in. It’s not like you have anything to fear against the Niners, right?
Ciara only bangs QB1s
Stillers have driven me to dark thoughts…
http://appamatix.3xfmy51qvwkwz1ti5.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/bus_driver-450×440.png
Just breathe, Sill. I’ve stared into the same abyss you looking into now. Its going to be okay.
Ben having problems with his sippy cup.
On the plus side, I did just make a killer ‘I like my pizza like I like my men’ joke. Probably worth it. And I didn’t cook at all this weekend, so I can do leftover pizza for lunch
greasy?
I’m afraid to even ask…
Thick and … … doughy?
Thick?
Deep and stuffed with sausage and mushrooms?
Cheesy, thick, and going straight for your thighs?
30 minutes late and served by a pimply teen?
With a yeasty crust?
Rather than individually liking all of these, just, well done everybody!
But what’s the answer!?
Seattle does know they’re up against 27-3 against a Blaine Gabbert led offense right?
Are they thinking they need to run up the score to impress the voters or something?
Just returned. Gritsburgh suddenly bad, Philly suddenly good, or yes?
So much so, Jeff Fisher keeps getting asked if he’d rather go with Wentz if he could do it all over again. Because you can tell everything you need to know about a QB after 2 weeks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=6HDZupVr3xs
Ben is just throwing into every green jersey he can find
Sounds like 10 year old Buddy learning to masturbate!
/sorry about the Chrebet jersey dad
This is just a hard count, right?
Put Kaepernick in
It pains me to say it, but I really wanted Rongrastname to pull this one off.
THE BEN’s Rapeyness vs. Competence meter is at Full Grey.
Browns fans are sad…
https://youtu.be/t3Qo193j4ig
Pinned comment
Holy shit.
Mrs. Cola asked if he did it.
He does have a half time video, and his spirits seemed to be up.
But no post game video…
No updates on his channel since halftime…
Oh god my sides.
This guy for president
Charmslinger is back in the huddle. He’s going to have a McNairesque season this year, isn’t he?
Out for the game now. The rookie number 2 gets to finish it off
Hawks making Chip feel welcome back on the West Coast.
Sweeet, just saw LSU is really getting out ahead of that coaching search…Cam Cameron should never be an answer.
…and I said “Oatmeal? Are you crazy?!”
Oh, can I comment now?
Yes, but only about oatmeal.
Southwest airlines would like you to know you can now drop some X or acid and treat your flight like it’s a giant rave without threat of being arrested.
You are now free to groove about the country.
*not eligible on flights from Kabul and Tehran
Or if you’re a woman and want to wear anything their staff randomly seems “inappropriate”
I for one do not wish for my airline pilot to know how to twerk.
Will glow sticks be provided?
RIP 2016 Seattle Seahawks Season
2016-2016
What happened?
RW got rolled a bit. It looked bad, but he only sat out a play.
#nanobubbles
That last 49ers INT made me laugh out loud.
Comment error.
Charmslinger hurt?
I thought it was going to take 30 points to win this.
Right now that does not seem possible.
TINY DARREN!!!!!
FUCKING TINY DARREN YOU GUYS
How did you get into Buddy’s dossier?
A Steelers was bleeding and I missed it. Aw, shucks!
Okay, gonna finish my pound cake, chug my drink, watch one more play, vomit over this idiotic NRA ad, then go downtown because I’m a fantastic host, even if you are the sort of guest who makes me miss football to pay money to go near work to have mediocre pizza
I will see y’all for the night game. FOOTBALLS.
Enjoy your casserole.
Casserole doesn’t have bottom crust.
And they asked if there was a way to get it with less cheese…..I’m not even gonna take home the leftovers.
True, and pizza isn’t eaten with a fork.
Hodor recovery!
Oh no. The pink shit is about to start.
It was probably that gas station sushi you ate.
Honey you sound like me after a nighy of shooters and ceviche!