NFL Notes:
- Greg Hardy has become more untouchable due to his arrest for alleged cocaine possession. So, yay!
- Dez Bryant ‘missed’ his MRI on Monday. Because injuries simply go away if you don’t think about them.
- Le’Veon Bell, coming off suspension, got the all-clear to resume practicing with the Steelers. Mike Tomlin says he’s going to work him hard upon his return Sunday versus the Chiefs. Nice & hard.
- Breesus has absolutely no idea how to fix things. So, much like his coach.
- I’m beginning to think Rob Ryan may not have been the only problem.
- Dreamboat says one of his biggest concerns is getting his timing back with his teammates. Yeah, because three weeks of Jimmy Garoppolo and Jacoby Brissett means it’s not his team anymore. CANCEL ALL PARADES!
- Maybe if he wasn’t hanging out naked in Capri he’d be more ready to return.
Despite all the points and laughable defence, MNF got slaughtered in the ratings by “KILLARY!” and “Dumb Dumb Donald” (sobriquet based on looking at twitter mentions). The debate got a 46.2 rating, and over 80 million viewers on the 12 channels providing the coverage, whereas the Falcons-Saints got a 5.7, for just under 10 million viewers, considered the “lowest ever” rating for a Monday Night Football game.
The next presidential debate happens on October 9, and it conflicts with the Week Five game between the Packers and Giants on Sunday Night Football.
Finally, Josh McDaniels says he is in a happy place.
- “I love where I’m at,” he said in an interview PFT cribbed from WEEI.
- Of course he is – Brady’s been away & not pushing him around; Bill lets him have his own clipboard; and Tebow is now the Mets’ problem.
I saw “The Magnificent Seven” on Friday afternoon. It’s a shame they didn’t release it during the summer, because it would have made all of the money.
I went to the first showing at 12:30, and was pretty clearly the only non-member of the AARP generation in the theatre. I think some of the men thought I was only there to steal their wallets. At least it meant the middle seats were unoccupied, because none of them apparently brought Depends for a two-hour movie.
The movie starts with the scenery and action right away, and delineates where the sides are going to line up. You find out why the ‘good guys’ are “good” during the movie. If I had one criticism of the movie, it’s that Peter Sarsgaard is too cartoony with his villainy. Don’t get me wrong – it’s better than having a middle-aged Jew portray a Mexican bandit. But having the dick turned up to 13 didn’t really seem necessary.
In terms of the Seven, Denzel, as always, was excellent. Chris Pratt was good; he started off cutesy, but the role straightened up pretty smoothly and didn’t descend into “hey, lookit the handsome guy in our film”. Ethan Hawke & Byung-hun Lee kinda made sense. I don’t know who Manuel Garcia-Rulfo is. Vincent D’Onofrio sounded like he got punched in the throat before every scene. And Martin Sensmeier did his job well, despite wearing Finn Balor’s makeup. They all played off each other nicely. I don’t picture them hanging out like the “Oceans” cast used to, but if I walked into a bar during shooting in Baton Rouge and saw them pouring shots, I wouldn’t have been surprised.
What is a “Matt Bomer”? He was in this, but I don’t care to look up his IMDb page. Anyway, he wasn’t a Seven so what do I care?
The lone female lead, Haley Bennett, had a meaty role. Not too much damsel in distress, and not enough eye-candy so that you think they added a romantic subplot. She’s going to be a “next big thing” after “The Girl On The Train” comes out in a couple of months. She has red hair in this movie, so it adds to the J-Law thing people say about her online.
I’d recommend seeing it on the big screen. It doesn’t seem like two hours, because there’s always something going on. They do some excellent work with the photography, and scope of the final gun battle will lose something in the home. This film doesn’t replace the original, but it does an excellent job living up to it.
Tonight’s sports: pretty good for a non-football night
- MLB Baseball: Red Sox at Yankees – 7:00 PM | ESPN2
- Premier Boxing Champions: Perrella-Ugas (welterweights) – 8:00 PM | FS1
- World Cup of Hockey 2016: Game 1: Team Europe vs. Canada – 8:00 PM | ESPN
https://vimeo.com/72216664
NSFW
That’s cheating.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/67e653078fa9302bdf644b30312fa2ae/tumblr_nm211oXms61rx4ivwo1_1280.jpg
You ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin
But if I tried that I’d get slapped!
Oh they turned on their cameras there.
Konichiwa, bitches
http://67.media.tumblr.com/84abd4dd98f7f27e9957f67bd39972cc/tumblr_o9gss3pdl91rrm03lo1_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AULOC–qUOI
Hey yo.
http://redblow.com/stuff/katee-owen/katee-life-boobs-nude-topless-46-990×742.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Py7KHuhbXmg/UUlLyNOCjdI/AAAAAAAAAHY/6e0D28E-GKM/s1600/ibxhXaeDpDSLrS.gif
http://www.gagreport.com/gifs/sexy/album/dl.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7d2217db75c07c9ffc0e627474bd6ee7/tumblr_o990ldJOno1ql8t12o1_500.gif
http://s8.favim.com/orig/150417/hot-sexy-sexy-cute-girl-pussy-boobs-Favim.com-2658998.gif
That’s a weird position to give someone the Heimlich maneuver
Definitely NSFW
h
ttp://c1.nuttit.com/Cache/GetImage?id=4ZFBKKz.gif
Once again the reddit perverts prove useful. Her name is Daisy Summers.
I also saw this when I was looking, and I always laugh at it. NSFW. http://imgur.com/F5LKapg
October is breast cancer awareness month, after all.
new Beets headphones ……
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6a1a1ed31dfd6ed6e7e2edb06adac414/tumblr_odk41pyeYU1qewacoo1_540.jpg
They sound better than Beats, too.
That’s fucking glorious.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/ed176b114dfe6aa9dcd61564edd02310/tumblr_o3e7v0dv6F1uars3yo1_400.gif
Barry just said ‘Big break for the United States!’
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VLK2myfQo0c/Un_bm_m1MfI/AAAAAAAABa4/NSWL0qorJOA/s1600/ellipses+blog+47.jpg
This whole wisdom teeth thing would be so much easier if I liked soup.
Pain pills.
Fuck soup.
I have oxy… one of them, trying to not use them unless I have to, so far it’s been a lesser ass-ton of ibuprofen. But on the other hand I feel like I need to try one, you know, yolo and shit.
/Flogs self for saying yolo
Ditto here. But about to go into an opiate hole. Giggity
24 hours later
http://www.gunaxin.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Picture-291.png
Fucking soup is a lot harder than you’d think.
Stew is a better fuck…..
In a cup or bowl?
I would like soup more if it weren’t currently 100 degrees here.
That’s cold gazpacho, in case it’s not clear.
http://foodnetwork.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/food/fullset/2011/6/10/0/EA1111H_gazpacho_s4x3.jpg
Clear gazpacho is terrible.
Make your own fresh minestrone:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ellie-krieger/minestrone-soup-recipe.html
Beats the hell out of canned crap.
You can also take things you like and make them into soup!
For instance you can make a nice Reuben sandwich, dice it up into teeny pieces, and throw it into a pot with a cup of water and a cup of red wine. Bring it to a boil then let it simmer for about an hour–PRESTO REUBEN SOUP WOO
I got my wisdom teeth removed in the Navy under local anesthetic, but they gave me a prescription of real Percodan! I immediately took 2 and could float off my bed and turn the radio on and off telepathically. I went to muster the next morning to report on the sick list, in zero-degree weather without a coat or gloves. It felt like a spring day.
I said I was going to teach violin tomorrow. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me!
Where do we start?
My rants and bitchings and moanings for the last, say, six months?
JJ Watts may be out for the rest of the season.
Ok, last one from her for multiple reasons.
But srsly, check that shit out.
http://www.thewolfpacksociety.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/katee-owen-bounce-gif-4.gif
OK, I lied.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v735/freebass/gifs/tumblr_nau1cejAvQ1tks3eno1_250.gif
Those two aren’t the same woman, are they? Face looks totally different.
One and the same.
Where might I find her newsletter?
betwixt those glorious bewbs.
As an old(er) man, I feel a bit like a perv watching this.
Fight thru that shit.
Warmed-over 2 day old chili never tastes not good.
Fuck this voter registration push. If you weren’t registered by now, you don’t have the judgment to vote
I veer back and forth between wanting universal voter registration at age 18 (seriously, why do citizens have to register to vote? it should be automatic) and being very afraid of how my vote will be diluted by all the currently un-registered people.
I mean, the guy who rotated my tires today is probably a Trump supporter. Do I really want him participating in democracy?
Test
http://66.media.tumblr.com/6dc2e42bc9a6153ded2fb4cb3edd9158/tumblr_n9c618s83S1remz75o1_250.gif
No.
It’s just like Undecided voters. Anyone still undecided, or even undecided as of a month ago, is too fucking stupid to be allowed to have a voice.
OK, this tweet wins.
https://twitter.com/MuraiHiro/status/780590448620412928/photo/1
Kevin Hutchison @ChocoIson 22h22 hours ago
@Alvetica @MuraiHiro This made my girlfriend laugh so hard she farted. You’ve won the internet tonight.
http://116.imagebam.com/download/Vs3cjCVLFTqBs8KTA-V0ug/50670/506697943/Alba05.gif
http://116.imagebam.com/download/P3J852WIchn3u9os76TKig/50670/506697966/Alba06.gif
Did I ever tell you chucklefucks that I once dated a girl who looked just like this gal?
She was fun.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/09a37d80a91390c20ddb6b4a94adebb4/tumblr_o4fq5cR8WD1u0sdhno1_400.gif
http://www.thewolfpacksociety.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/katee-owen-bounce-gif-2.gif
http://s.likes-media.com/img/d827ca6717f253f83946bd350b002dd7.600x.gif
That girl could get me to do some really stupid stuff.
Fuck you
Worry not, she was insane.
But fun while it lasted.
Of course
BUT ARE THEY REAL?!?
Yes, And they were spectacular.
My internet cock is UUUUUUUUUGE.
Sorry, Sill.
http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/an21
What a bunch of fucking nonsense
BREAKING BREAKIGN BREAKNING
JJ WATT EXPECTED TO BE PUT ON IR
BREAKING MUST CREDIT SILL BIMMONS BREAKING
Ooh, just read Watt might be out for the season after re-injuring his back.
Lindsey Vonn just ordered one of these (55 gallon drum of lotion)
http://www.bulkskincare.com/Hand-Body-Lotion-AromaFree-reg-Unscented-1-p/75loa55g.htm
Nuts. Here’s a 220 gallon container. http://www.bulkskincare.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=75LOA220G
Hopefully, she guards against any wrist injuries that would put her on IR and jeopardize Watt’s recovery.
GODDAMN YOU
Her instagram is nice. http://picbear.com/halolorraine is a better UI than instagram itself.
Why is it when I see this woman, I’m suddenly reminded of the oracle girls in 300, with their trippy underwater-filmed gyrations?
No football, and Orioles looking like warmed over dick. Fuck you Toronto.
But I got pain pills.
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-19259-so-I-got-that-going-for-me-whi-CKYI.gif
And I get the flip.
Fuck you, amateurs.
http://media.giphy.com/media/13Y4WDHrCIhaSc/giphy.gif
Stupid bird
Happy Trump Schadenfreude Day!
That’s hopefully November 9th.
You guys are sorta like the title of this song to meeeeeeeee* (*if you listen to the song you’ll get it)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwpYyObrB2o
I’m glad my prediction about Haley Bennett has found a supporter.
I first noticed her in The Equalizer. Looked her up again after Hardcore Henry. Both movies scored an 8/10 on the ALXMAC scale and she was great in them.
Yup – she’s purdy.
“I think some of the men thought I was only there to steal their wallets.”
I thought JustStopDude was the only black DFOer
One of the best pop songs of all time…
https://youtu.be/gSc46sEZdl4
http://media.tumblr.com/4a14f6b4dcdfe323d640e44954d585b2/tumblr_inline_moy03bMTyq1qz4rgp.gif
So much for Team Europe…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Rdm8LItAHs
“Enough” the movie. The ending is trite yet somehow satisfying.
http://www.comedycentral.co.uk/sites/default/files/cc_uk/galleries/large/2014/09/18/jawsimgur.gif
Are there football gods like there are in hockey, and if so – why are they smiting me?
1. (20) Doug Martin RB
2. (21) Russell Wilson QB
3. (60) Jeremy Langford RB
4. (61) Arian Foster RB
5. (100) Ameer Abdullah RB
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-05/21/5/imagebuzz/webdr13/anigif_optimized-7818-1432201062-11.gif
Greggggggggggggggggggggggggggg just wrote ‘Game Over’ in his notebook.
I wonder if Denzel Washington will get death threats from ardent original Ghostbusters fans……..
http://www.okmoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/201-True-Romance-quotes.gif
Is it hot and moist? And hopefully not flaky?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/07e93a5b24a338ae87b3f725e0b31c55/tumblr_msk666Gc6z1sqhz72o1_1280.png
http://25.media.tumblr.com/62a14ce61ed44bc20bc5f9aa0f69b0c0/tumblr_mwll9bsaEQ1qap9uuo1_500.gif
I believe this is what you were looking for.
http://116.imagebam.com/download/W2aHwIuty0zWZP6sKSRHEw/48171/481704755/archerpie.jpg
The Old Man and the Gif.
http://viralgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/chimp_boat.gif
Through the Looking Gif.
http://www.ohmagif.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/cats-epic-jump-from-boat-towards-shore.gif
How did they get so many big-name actors to buy into the soon-to-be object lesson in epic clusterfuckery FOX Presents The Exorcist On FOX?
MURKANS rooting for a bunch of eastern Yurpeens they’ve never heard of because peevish.
Desperately Gifing Susan.
http://funny-pictures.funmunch.com/pictures/baloons-splash.gif
https://postimg.org/image/gja2kstv1/
There is a lot of odd and depressing things going on in this snap shot.
So a picture is worth a thousand “what the fucks” now?
With extra ?!?!?!?!?s
Indeed.
In case anyone thought Jimmy John’s couldn’t get worse.
Moose is so desperate, he’s gifing his own gifs.
/Go ahead Moose, everything’s gonna be alllllright
http://sportsmasher.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/WebbSplashGif2.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1uwcdECZv1qa2khlo1_500.gif
http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/keeptryingp1.gif
Balls still lied.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0039313/
CTE in other sports.
http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/gifs/boat-KO-knock-out-Jousting-crash-1392477668q.gif
I think he’s dead, Jim.
Naw, he’s just KTFO, or as they say retired to spend more time with family and friends.
So this is the open thread; BALLS LIED…. HE LIIIIIIIIIIED!
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs2/1085639_o.gif
http://media.giphy.com/media/lsH6dMp4N1IY0/giphy.gif
I think he meant “an” open thread rather than “the” open thread.
Could be one of many, such as the internet’s revenge on Maestro.
So cool that you guys get along here.
Maestro and the internet? No they don’t.
Nice deflection.
Watching “Witch Hunt” starring Dennis Hopper and Panoply-Anne Miller. What a beautiful mess of a movie.
http://www.intersinema.com/film/resimler/10/10780_a_1201.jpg
I want to check this obscure one out.
No one here, I don’t care how straight you claim to be, is going to turn down Tom Brady.
Between his rouge-ish smile and massive bank account, I would learn to like gay sex to get away from the shit I deal with.
Boyishly handsome.
the money would be nice. and as long is it didn’t involve head I suppose. i’d prefer if he were twinkier though
Well…… he would……
DEFLATE YOUR BALLS!
It’s not like he’s a top
Scotch.
/that is all
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b281/BIG_MIKE2005/my%20animation%20clips/Falloffboat.gif
OK, this was probably Schnapps or some such.