Your Wretched Excuse For A Primetime Game Thursday Night Open Thread

If nothing else this has fantasy implications and we get to see what is on each other’s mind. Hell, tomorraw be the end of the work week and we’re all grizzled veterans of faking it till 4. TO THE GAME!

Mia/Cincy-Der Bingles were 12-4 last year and are now 1-2. The Fins eked out an “I don’t want it, you can have it” race to the bottom OT win over the stinkin’ Brownies. Tannehill is STILL Miami’s leading rusher with count ’em, 54 yards. Despite all the talk (mine) about wr Green being an unstoppable beast-dog with superior dental hygiene, Miami’s Landry has 2 more receptions and 19 more yards on his CV. One wonders if Dalton is going to fling it (he will) because he’s been sacked silly the first three weeks. De Wake thinks that is just de-lovely. Seriously, this Fins D gives up 4.5 yards per carry-time for rb’s Hill and little-used Bernard to get off. Cincy shouldn’t get all excited about a potential blow-out win because their secondary has given up the 2nd-most TD passes (9) so far. If you’re starting te Cameron in fantasy you should get your shit together-he’s been “concussion protocol-ed”. If you’re in some wacky, jazz hands-a-flailing deep-as-hell league you may want to grab Dion Sims-he’s starting tonight.

Now, ALL DIGITS ON DECK!

 

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

1) There will be a HRTN tommorow.

2) During stupid local ad for stupid local car place, some woman is on telling her story of rescue by mechanic.

ME (in bad mood & muting ad) Show your boobs or STFU.
My wife thinks it’s hilarious, which proves I’m the luckiest SOB here.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Gratliff

“That drive took 8 and a half minutes…and it produced a field goal!”

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Romonobyl

The big dude next to me has had had 3 shots of Jack with a beer chaser, no food, and is playing candy crush on his iPhone.
Florida?

herodotus450

It’s not Florida until he’s put 3 shots in Jack, too

Unsurprised

Anally, but totes no homo

Senor Weaselo

I feel like it’s time for everyone’s favorite Twitter account… no not PFTC.
https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan

jjfozz

I’m not scared of Trump or Hillary, I’m scared of thi:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BIGBANGTHEORY

jjfozz

THESE BENGALS, I CALL THEM THE JAPANESE BECAUSE THEY’RE SLAUGHTERING DOLPHINS

herodotus450

(Legit) stream FINALLY starts working. I’m actually a little disappointed, now I actually have to watch…

Unsurprised

Gary Johnson became governor of New Mexico twice because New Mexico is almost as poorly educated as Mississippi or Arkansas. He got swept into office in 1994 on the whole Republican Revolution and was re-elected in 1998 because the Democratic nominee was a piece of shit who was despised by two-thirds of the state for being a piece of shit and for being the mayor of the city comprising the other third of the state, half of which also hated the fuck out of him.

Johnson is a fucking moron. He was governor at the same time George W. Bush was governor of Texas and guess what – Johnson was even more incurious than Bush.

He’s a libertarian who made his fortune off government construction contracts. He was a law & order candidate but the decriminalization Jesus came to him during one of his Mt. Everest excursions after he was out of office. I never saw him in person and didn’t want to punch him.

People who support him are fucking idiots, which is why he’s running as a libertarian since they’re already all stupid fucks.

Sill Bimmons
Unsurprised

I’m always right

Sill Bimmons

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Unsurprised

You know I’m right

Sill Bimmons
Lothar of the Hill People

Yeah, I can almost-sorta-kinda give him a little credit for admitting his idiocy and promising to do better after his Aleppo moment.

But then to have it happen again? What a motherfucking moron.

And shame on the Libertarian party for putting such a numbskull on the ticket. Weld is halfway human; they should’ve picked him for the top spot. He might’ve bled votes from Hillary in New England.

...

Any political party that thinks it should aim first for the presidency is a populated by nothing but numbskulls. Elect some people to Congress or, in lieu of that, state office.

But no, they’ll just trot out some vanity candidate every four year, soak up the fed up folks who want an alternative they can pretend is something different, and disappear when it comes time to actually govern.

Third parties are honestly worse than the two we have running things now.

...

This is an excellent rant I appreciate every bit of your Gary Johnson hate. He’s a just a Republican who wants to legalize pot.

I caught one of his (CNN?) interviews where he basically just stated he should be in the debate because people would just vote him because he was not Hillary or Trump. This is why third parties are a fucking joke: You have an opportunity to market yourself on actual issues and you’re just “HUR DUR. I’m not them!” Fuck you.

Unsurprised

Oh, God. Third parties in this country are worse than EbolaAIDSCancer

Redshirt

Jeremy Hill did a Barry Sanders.
Its not very effective…

Senor Weaselo

The Lions white color rush unis are codenamed Kimba, ppl forget that.

Redshirt

He was almost thrown into the 1st row.

Romonobyl

To bad Julius Jones doesn’t play for the Dolphins. Because orange.

Romonobyl

Haven’t been to a food court in a while, they still sell that drink?

jjfozz

Me when my wife get home from Vegas
http://i.imgur.com/4C7gUxi.jpg

Sill Bimmons

The early promise of possible flair and competence has been replaced with the familiar 2nd quarter reality of malaise and mawkishness.

jjfozz

THE LAST TIME I SAW THIS MUCH ORANGE GET RUN OVER, I WAS DRIVING DRUNK IN A CONSTRUCTION ZONE

Gratliff

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwx5adGMjH1qjw2g1.gif

There’s an amazing scene in an episode somewhere around this one where a player (Arian Foster?) brings Ruxin a ball and Ruxin drops it in possibly the funniest fucking scene I’ve ever seen. Meanwhile, I am completely unable to find the scene, let alone a gif of one, so Rafi, it is.

Sill Bimmons

Burfict should be in prison.

jjfozz

Were you waiting for some knob slobbing on the Patriots?

Well, there you go.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Col. Duke LaCross

START THE REACTOR!

Electric Mayhem

I haven’t seen this much orange incompetence since the Presidential Debate

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
jjfozz
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Mahky Mahk hasn’t been that lubed up since his NKOTB “audition”.

jjfozz

Everything in our society is fucking stupid. Everything.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons
Romonobyl

That’s what I should have ordered.

Unsurprised

What kind of fucking animal eats raw onions?

Sill Bimmons
jjfozz
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ThursdaySkyGoddess

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Sill Bimmons

These punters suck.

Redshirt

Director: “Keep putting a camera on Burfict.”
Cameraman: “He’s not doing anything stupid.”
Director: “Just wait…”

Romonobyl

My lovely young bar wench is wearing hipster glasses with no lenses, also known as “frames”.
I have a son her age. God help me, I shall have more beer now.

Lothar of the Hill People

Glasses with no lenses? POKE HER IN THE EYE!

Senor Weaselo

So can you get Redshirt in with her?
/I’m trying buddy!

Redshirt

I appreciate the effort.

Unsurprised

Fuck Redshirt. I’m the one with something to celebrate.

Electric Mayhem

As someone imprisioned by glasses since first grade, I cannot abide those who wear fakies

jjfozz

I larfed

jjfozz

So white is a color rush color? That makes as much sense as a soup sandwich.

Senor Weaselo
Redshirt

Do you want Orange Jersey-Orange Pants against the Dolphins Carrot Jersey-Carrot Pants combo?

Senor Weaselo

Is it just me or does everyone’s retinas hurt?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadlier

Aw, that ad is realistic about how JJ is spending his Sundays.

Sill Bimmons

WTF IS A TOUCHBLUCK

Redshirt

Touchblock?

jjfozz

You know what I can’t get enough of? Shows about the 1970s Steelers.

Sill Bimmons
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ThursdaySkyGoddess

Papa John’s commercial anticipates JJ Watt’s inactivity on Sundays.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Lothar of the Hill People

That looks right up my alley.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It is delicious, but not for the faint of heart beerwise.

Redshirt

So based on that last drive, Andy Dalton’s plan is to get AJ Green the ball more often.

http://thepiton.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8345200e269e2017d43050c47970c-800wi

Brocky

From this point on I am going to imagine my fantasy misfortune as conversations from god:

God: “Hey Jesus, what’s Brocky’s fantasy outlook tonight?

Jesus while sighing: Looks like he started Jeremy Hill because Lacy is on bye.

God: “Jeremy Hill huh, lets see about that…”

god snaps his fingers

Announcer: well, it looks like Jeremy hill has an apparent shoulder injury, possibly a stinger”

God chuckles

Jesus: What is wrong with you?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Neither of these unis are green!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadlier

GO CANTELOUPES!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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Spanky Datass
Unsurprised

I’m a /kind/ of pirate.

Shogun Marcus

I has confusions, as does cbs apparently. Why is this nawt on regular unleaded teevees? Nfl shenanigans? Cbs clearly seems unprepared for this as their schedule shows TBD.

Senor Weaselo

Are you saying you’re not getting HIT SHOW Kevin Can Wait?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Redshirt

Hey! Dalton remembered that AJ Green exists!

Unsurprised

Hey all. I’m so fucking overwhelmed still. This is amazing.

Brocky

Old look, Tampa Bay is using their throwback Uni’s they don’t look nearly as I remeber

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

So I told Madre Weaselo, who does know her football, about today’s unis. She took one look and said “What the fuck?” several times in disbelief.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh