TGISF…aka This is your “Sexy Friday Returns/Combo Friday Night Open Thread”

Yes sports fans, you read that correctly.

Sexy Friday is back!!!!!

And for some inexplicable reason, the upper management of DFO has decided that I’m a good choice to bring it to you.  A month ago I stated that those guys were some smart fellers.  Sadly, I’m no longer so certain.  Even I wouldn’t choose me.  But here we are, they did, and I will do my best to not make them regret it.

It’s going to be a learning process.  A work in progress, as it were.

Most of you are aware that this was Martin’s baby for quite a while.  And the last thing I want to do is disrespect him and his fine work by being a copycat.  I honestly don’t yet know what format this will settle into under my management.  As others already know, but the rest of you fine folks are included in, I want this to be something we can all have fun with.  I welcome any and all suggestions/criticisms in the comments.  I might even read them in between bong hits.  Time will tell.  😉

There will be dick jokes.  There will be news and notes as any good open thread has.  And there will be SEXAY!!!!

We’ll find the balance, together.  Please bear with me as we find it.

So what’s going on in sports?

The MLB playoffs are in full swing.  The Jays were gifted their ticket, in spite of their fans trying to gift O’s leftfielder Hyun Soo Kim with a beer.  You stay classy Toronto.  The Giants earned their ticket.  Mad Bum is still a thing.  Love that guy, but hate that he tosses for that team.  Like any of you cares.

By the time this thread goes live, it appears the Jays will have taken a 2-0 series lead over Tejas.  Up Yours Toronto.  Josh Donaldson especially.  But I’m also looking at you Joey Bats and Troy Tulowitzki.  Edwin Encarnacion, you are permitted to live.  For now.

The rest of tonight’s games:

  • Sawx @ Injuns: 4:38pm…Game 2, Injuns up 1-0
  • Trolley Dodgers @ National Disgrace: 5:38pm…Game 1 (yes, when first in existence in Brooklyn, that was their name)
  • Gigantic Douchnozzles @ Mini Bears: 9:15pm…Game 1 (Go Meteor!!!!  But spare Zymm’s house plz.)

Buck Showalter still hasn’t been fired yet.  I’m the only who is still holding onto that apparently.  And I will continue to until he’s canned.  Or I die.  Whichever comes first.  Buck, sorry…I like you.  But you can no longer be trusted.

Hockey is almost back.  Which will be a welcome distraction from NFL, CFB and (future) NBA crap.

Cam Newton’s head finally said screw this noise.

Blaine Gabbart’s head was never in question, which is why he’ll pull up some pine himself it appears.  But at least we’ll have the chance to make fun of Kappuhrnikk some more.  Not to mention Chip’s Ahoy.  As an aside….all black unis with gold helmets is not a good look.

Tiger Woods still thinks he can swing a club.  That’s as riotous as….well, me still thinking I can swing a club.  But at least Safeway will be well represented.  No word yet if he’ll play at the A&P Open.  But it does look good for the Kroger Invitational.  SMGDH.

OK, that’s enough of that.

So for the SEXAY this week, I had a hard time deciding on the theme.  What I finally settled on was “Getting to Know You”.  Errrrr….you getting to know me, that is.  Since this is my initial foray into this particular….thing.  I figured I’d tell you all about myself.  No, I’m not going to show you sexy pictures of me, don’t worry.

As I alluded to above, I love golf.  I play it regularly…and also quite poorly these days.

I also play the drums.  Also quite poorly these days.

But my true love is photography.  I do that rather poorly as well.  But it has allowed me to meet some very interesting people.

ProTip:  If you want to meet girls, buy a damned camera.  Trust me on this, hot girls love having their picture taken.  Like a really lot.  Like a REALLY REALLY lot.

Anyway, I’ve been fortunate enough over the years to make friends with some very good photogs and learn from them.  And some very lovely models as well.  Sadly I’ve learned nothing from them.  I’m still totally ugly and junk.

But, all of these folks are either models I know, or the photos were taken by photographers I know. I’m not going to name names.  If you’re stalkery enough, you can probably track them down anyway.  But please don’t.  These people really are my friends.  And if you stalk them, at least don’t tell them I’m the catalyst please.

(Note:  All of these photos are posted publicly somewhere or another…I’m not betraying anyone’s privacy here…but still don’t stalk them please)

This is my newest model friend.  She works with some great photogs, a few of whom I know.  But not well.  But I do admire their work….

freedom_rider_x_by_megancoffey-d9m7ytr
High Fashion with…a horse for some reason.

She also is rather more playful these days….

test_suit_asuka___swimsuit_v_by_megancoffey-dacyj6r
A little cosplay never hurt anybody….ooooff!!!

This young lady is Italian/Filipina, an interesting mix, no?  It works well I think.  And she lives in Canadia.  Holee Molee…

__hot_summers___by_misslaurelle-d92fa09
Just a day at the beach…in my underpants. But what lovely underpants, no? But seriously, not beachwear. But seriously not complaining. Ooooff again.

More of her?  Yes please….

__bedtime___by_misslaurelle-d93see3
No comment

And yes, even more….

__glance___by_misslaurelle-d96n95i
In the words of Cyril Figgis….Jeezy Pete!!!!

 

This lovely lady is a friend, though not a very close friend.  Which makes me sad.  The photographer is an acquaintance at best, but damn…nice work dude.

victoria_by_art0fck-d9tr6kg
I repeat….damn!!!

Now we’re getting to the meat of it….don’t say phrasing please.  This photo is of a lovely young French national.  I know her in passing.  But this photo was taken by my VERY good friend.  More on her to follow…

eleganz_by_noeelys-d7rtm0r
More Oooff.

And this young French national is the young lady who took that photo above.  She is my French little sister (no not my biological sister).  She works on both sides of the camera.  And if you stalk HER, I will have to inflict pain upon you.  This is one of the most special people in my life.  Don’t make me regret posting her here.  Seriously.

thank_you____by_noeelys-d6aezuj
If I was 20 years younger….but still perfectly happy to have her as my little sister.

And now, it’s time for equal time for the ladies.  I don’t know this guy or whomever took the photo.  Boyz, avert thine eyes….

Image result for sexy man
A little manscaping never hurt anyone, dude. smgdh

So there you have it.  Feel free to comment below, respectfully please, about my friends (or this douche who seems way too proud of his pubic hair).  Feel free to chime in with suggestions/criticisms about how/what I can do better next time.

But most of all, please have fun.

And here…have one of my not sexy, but kinda pretty and calming photos.  This is a tWBS original, fwiw, taken just a couple of months ago at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon.  Drink it in, relax….and have a beer…

xa-little-more-from-the-south-rim
Wow, that’s a BIG hole!!!!

 

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She finished her beer before driving Ted to the hospital to get his hand stitched up.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/788a9031ac78c14d4dafb52e1667e190/tumblr_mu1rvcsfe81r9qhhio1_1280.jpg

Mr. Ayo

He went for the pussy grab and got denied?

...

Okay, now it goes to the girlfriend choker to nail this one down.

Eugh. I’m too dirty at this point to object.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

And sirens to follow! I would switch to the police scanner, but the real action won’t happen till after the game. And I’m sleepy. I think it’s bed, and reading a few pages of The Brentford Chainsaw Massacre for me. Nighty night!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Goodnight Zymm

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Show Bill Murray more often FS1. That seems to be good luck. Plus we get to see Bill Murray

Mr. Ayo

Settle down Cubs fans. That’s just one run. In 8 innings.

Doktor Zymm

Large amounts of cheering. I assume Cubs good. ICRM probably just smiled in his drunken stupor.

Horatio Cornblower

Drinking one of these

comment image

I believe 9/15 was the second time they’ve brewed it. I paid $4 a can for 6. A few days later I saw it going for $55 a can on the interwebs.

It’s really, really good, but it ain’t that good.

Horatio Cornblower

Sweet Jesus that is a big picture.

Senor Weaselo

And now let’s go to Dok for a reaction!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I can’t get cable. or overhead lighting because I live in a house that was built semi recently that decided not to put in any wiring for anything, so I watch with my Time Warner account on my computer. It eats up all of my bandwidth at all times to get the picture to remain HD. No option to make it stop eating all the bandwidth so I can use my computer normally during commercial breaks.

...

FUCKIN’ JAVY

ALXMAC
Doktor Zymm

comment image

Eh, it’s already on the internet, me putting it here can’t possibly make anything any worse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

The one on the left doesn’t even have a proper keystone…pffft

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WOULD NOT BANG!

Senor Weaselo
Horatio Cornblower

She’s really attractive but I’ll be goddamned if I say ‘Lucy’ was a good movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

Unattractive freckle on upper arm, 2/10 would not bang

King Hippo

Getting amped FOAR the Domers tomorry:

Yeah, I know they suck, but we no prize pig ourselves…

herodotus450
King Hippo

HOLY FUCKBALLS!! THIS ONE TOO??

Doktor Zymm

It’s quiet, did someone gas Wrigley? If so….genius!

King Hippo

I’d contribute $20 to this worthy effort!

King Hippo

Time to pair up FOAR roller disco. Goddamnit, everybody can’t take Dok Zymm.

Doktor Zymm

I’m really bad at teaching people how to skate. I know at least two people with bruised tailbones who will attest to this fact.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Nevermind, she is alive.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Pretty sure Zymm’s brilliant idea of giving herself a vodka IV has her passed out on top of an empty pizza box by now.

Doktor Zymm

Don’t be silly, I wouldn’t inject something with as many impurities as vodka. And it’s not really alcoholic enough to smoke. And snorting it would give me a headache. I’ll stick to drinking. Also, it’s not vodka.

Doktor Zymm

Danger, Danger, Child Robot Molester Van in Vicinity!

Beerguyrob
Horatio Cornblower

Goddamn Catholics.

/proud alumni of St. Stanislaus Parochial School & Pierogi Factory

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

Trump supporters want to keep everything in that photo out of the country.

http://alfahir.hu/sites/default/files/indexfoto/why_4.gif

Horatio Cornblower

I would grab them right in the churros.

/no idea what that means

WCS

CUUUEEE–TOOOOOOOO
CCUUUEEEE–TOOOOOOOOO
CCCCCCUUUUUUEEEEEE—TOOOOOOOOOO

Still the best Pirates moment of my lifetime.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Would have thought he went through puberty a long time ago.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I only post this because it was just in the trailer for The Accountant, ignore that because it is a good song.

Radiohead – Everything in its Right Place

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ9nYdHD814

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons
herodotus450
King Hippo

if’n I could fuck that vocal performance, I would

/so would April Ludgate

//OMFG, I am Eskimo Brothers with APRIL!!!!!!

WCS

So… about Trump’s comments effecting his popularity amongst women:
https://twitter.com/USA1Trump/status/784585319576461312

King Hippo

/hands may not be as large as appear in photo

King Hippo

this is also fairly maudlin:

Horatio Cornblower

Hey guys and gals, just getting ready to grab my wife’s pussy whether she likes it or not, because goddammit that’s my cat too and I want a turn to rub his fuzzy belly.

Now, what’s all this about an election?

...

Hehehehehe kitties.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hopefully neither of your testicles gets ruptured.

King Hippo

I just laughed so hard it pissed my cat off and he left the room.

CIRCLE OF DRUNKEN LIFE

ALXMAC

Hey tWBS, I don’t shoot people, but I’m a photographer too:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/alxmac/4132089664/in/photostream/lightbox/

ALXMAC
Senor Weaselo

Oh fuck, new Five Nights at Freddy’s to not play through because goddammit that shit is fucked.

herodotus450
...

Goddamn why can’t Cueto be shitty Royals Cueto?

King Hippo

EVEN. YEAR. Can’t you count, bro?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

this is just good, I have no profound intro:

King Hippo

that weren’t even sad?

THIS is sad:

Doktor Zymm

King Hippo

This seems appropriate FOAR Trump today:

herodotus450
Doktor Zymm

So, some of my favorite things from the early internet have stuck around.
http://www.studiohunty.com/tamagothi/

...

I wish I could find the Geocities page I made back in those days. I coded it myself!

herodotus450

geocities closed down a few years ago, so unless you ported it over to Angelfire like us smart guys you are out of luck

Senor Weaselo

Padre Weaselo is always amused that The Arsonist is a pitching coach.

...

Ugh. I’m already saturated with alcohol and it’s only the 5th inning.

King Hippo

ALWAYS room for MOAR.