Your Late Sunday Afternoon NFL Games Open Thread

Atl/Den-I like this matchup-the #1 O in a ton of categories versus a fantastic D. I’ve no doubt that rb Freeman will find little to no running room so it’ll be up to qb Ryan to find Julio. I’m sure he’ll give him more than a few jump balls to get after. He seems to win 90% of those battles. Despite his extraordinary ability, the odds of him having back-to-back games with 300 yds receiving appears slim. The only other option would seem to be giving the rock to rb Coleman in space. I’ll come clean-I know little about qb Lynch as this is only the second time he’ll be seeing real-game action. For that reason I figure that rb Anderson will have to carry the load O-wise.

Cin/Dal-Rook rb Elliott has come good on his speculated talent so far-he’s got the 2nd most carries and yards and is tied for most runs over 20 yds. (4) This should be a nice test for him because the Bengals give up a mere 57 yds on the ground average-wise and have yet to surrender a rush TD. Kinda impressive. Something’s gotta give here ’cause Dallas has the most rushing TD’s so far. On the surface this seems like a game that might be played between the 20 yard lines.

Buf/LA-In a nutshell, the worst overall O meets the 28th ranked. You’d think that a team with a back like Gurley could at least run the ball effectively but you’d be Mistaken Von Wrongperson. They’re getting a measley 76 yards per game on the ground. Look for the NFL’s leading tackler, Bills lb Zach Brown to have himself a game. The only reason he’s starting is because highly-touted rook lb Ragland blew out his knee. This would seemingly put the game in the hands of not-even-average qb Keenum which sounds like a losing proposition but the Rammers are 3-1 so what the hell do I know?

SD/Oak-If the scoreboards were still manually operated I’m sure the scorekeeper in this game would blow a rotator cuff or two. The Chargers short history (they’ve blown 3 leads in the last 5 minutes this year) and long history (they’ve lost 9 straight division games) have conspired to convince yours truly that they’ll be buckling under to an up-and-coming Raiders squad. On the bright side, Bolts fans get their very first looky-loo at de Joey Bosa. Players we won’t see? There’s plenty of them including 3/4’s of San Diego’s starting secondary. Ouch. Look for qb Carr to light it up and wr Cooper to get his very first score of the season.

Are you up to speed? LET’S DO THIS!

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Romonobyl

Hey Southwest?
I have no desire for twerking aircrew…thanks all the same.

Shogun Marcus

Seeing as I have vested interest because of next week, I ask:
Boys really this good, or tiger cats just nawt good?

Shogun Marcus

Fuuuu….nevermind. Combo platter.

Spur

Is it that kind of day for the Bengals?

Lothar of the Hill People

It’s a Cleveland-y day for Cincinnati.

Factories spreading all through Ohio.

John Difool

It’s been a bad week for pussy’s…..

JustStopDude

That is vintage Marvin Lewis…down by 21 in the third quarter…so better send in the kicking team to miss a 50 yarder.

Spur

Holy shit, Atlanta is for real

fleshwound_NPG

The template for every good Atlanta sports team is impressive regular seasons before post-season collapses

Spur

Would AJ like a tour of the stadium? Check out the artwork. It will just take a few hours.

Bloody Lethal

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fleshwound_NPG

Bears/Colts had 900+ yards in offense, yet neither broke 30 points

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Bloody Lethal

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blaxabbath

Who is the chick in the Papa Johns commercial? I’d like to walk up and just grab her…..attention (with her permission).

Spur

Please, please don’t choke in the second half, Dallas. I need this.

Redshirt

C’mon, Dallas. You know you want to!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_asphyxiation

Sharkbait

Dak ‘Choke ‘n Stroke’ Prescott.

Shogun Marcus

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I too disagree, grasshopper.

Gratliff

Don’t give in to peer pressure. Fail like you’ve never failed before.

Sill Bimmons
Bloody Lethal

It was the lady friend’s birthday last night. Suffice it to say, I’m immobile.

http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/03/Tired-GIF.gif?gs=a

Romonobyl

That was me earlier, just getting my second wind.

Bloody Lethal

And I’m gonna have to stay up for the Giants to stomp on my heart.

Unsurprised

Oh Hell. I may as well waste my money here. It’s not like I’m unemployed and hemorrhaging money.

John Difool

YOLO

Romonobyl

Makes me think of what the other options might have been.
http://sportsmockery.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/cut.jpg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is anyone else ready to hibernate for winter?

Doktor Zymm

Absolutely

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Back in time for Floatception!

Unsurprised

Well, the Coliseum certainly does reek.

Spur

Dalton about to eat the souls of his oline during halftime

Unsurprised

If this goddamn state approves a sales tax I’m moving to Nevada and taking over my own compound. I’m sick of this shit.

Oh, and fuck the fucking Rams.

Romonobyl

One of the few advantages of living in Texas.

Sill Bimmons

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Gratliff

I lived in Wilmington when this came out. I found it was a fair point.

Romonobyl

Wow, I just saw Sean Lee still walking on his hind legs. Isn’t this week 5 already?

Bortleback

They’re stripping Romo for parts to keep him healthy

Brick Meathook

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Spur

Tank is making a difference already.

blaxabbath

Oh good — CBS’s “best new dramas” star old white guys.

And Twitter goes back up to 11…

Col. Duke LaCross
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Man, you really have to get them flush with those tiny little hands.

Doktor Zymm

River was “heated” and not “a total flaming dickhead”

Spur

Elliott with the butt slap

Sharkbait

Stop it Pheeeel. Nobody knows what the fuck a catch is anymore.

...

*whispers* there is no such thing as a catch it’s all a lie

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Booooooooooo

Unsurprised

A “tweener” qb. Kill yourselves.

Spur

Give it to Zeke

fleshwound_NPG

if you got a trophy milf wife and still can’t get it up, viagra probably ain’t gonna help

Romonobyl

Depends on her current Amex bill.

Spur

Lucky got lucky

yeah right

Wait, the Raiders have an offensive lineman whose first name is Vidal?

Gore would be a much better first name for a football player.

LemonJello

If Dalton breaks an arm/leg, would that be…

//puts on sunglasses

A Ginger Snap?

//YEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH

King Hippo

3-13. Jeebus Tapdancing Christ, Donks. Get a FG, go into half and SORT your shit out.

Unsurprised
fleshwound_NPG

That Dalton sack should count as an NFL Blitz 30-yard sack

Spur

Damn. Blow the fucking whistle Zerba.

Redshirt

Jeez, Ref! Blow the damn whistle!

Spur

My Dak is so hard right now.

Shogun Marcus

If it lasts longer than the game, seek medical attention.

Sharkbait

The question is, will Romo do a reverse Bledsoe and go to Buffalo when he’s run out of town?

Bortleback

I hear the Broncos could use another old QB who is coming off a major injury who has maybe 1500-2000 pass attempts left in him before turning to dust

King Hippo

Yes on Catler or Rivers, NO on Romo.

Croooow

Dak is really fun to watch.

King Hippo

This was really true even when he was running train on my alma mater in the bowl last season. He has that magical sense about him.

Romonobyl

I love football!!!*

*I hereby reserve the right to redact this statement at any future time/date.

Doktor Zymm

You’re a Cowboys fan. It’s impossible for the universe to allow you to be happy past November. But that’s still a couple months, have fun!

Spur

Romo…it’s not you…it’s me…

Romonobyl

+ everything.

King Hippo

DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK

-“Pass me another oxy will ya, li’l buddy?”

– T.R.

blaxabbath

So Cowboys look good. How long until whatever is in the water down there gets into Dak’s bones and his skeleton begins failing him on a monthly basis?

Sharkbait

Romo’s gonna Nancy Kerrigan him.

Doktor Zymm

Ol’ JJ just puts all his expired medication in the water at Jerryworld

Spur

Double J has been importing the freshest ice from Antarctica for this very reason

King Hippo

My kids’ school is cancelled tomorrow. TIME TO DRANK

Redshirt

THESE BENGALS, I CALL THEM THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, BECAUSE THEY’RE IN COMPLETE DISARRAY, THE NATION THINKS THEY’RE A JOKE AND THEY’RE DRIVING ME TO DRINK TO EXCESS!!!!

King Hippo

It’s so bad that both Presidents Bush are gonna vote FOAR HillyBob. And only one will kinda sorta admit it.

blaxabbath

Status quo is always gonna vote status quo

(which is to say, simply being an outsider isn’t a good enough resume for Trump)

blaxabbath

Also, they’re heralded white male leader is not only on pace to lose, but might actually score zero.

Spur

Old man strength!